"I always like to watch the stars…because it reminds me that Nina is watching the same stars…" Fabian remembered that day, saying those words, without her there with him. It was a particularly bad one without Nina. Yet, he still managed to find a window of positivity. That night, when he looked at the stars, all of the memories they had experienced together: their adventures in the attic and cellar, the tunnels, the prom, all of it, came flooding back into Fabian's mind. After a while, it just reminded him of the past and how he could never have her again. So he stopped.

Fabian was now twenty-two. He had a steady job, a nice flat in London, he was playing guitar and singing in coffee houses on the side, and he was dating Mara. It was so easy with Mara. They both understood the intelligence the other had, and were both sensitive, kind, yet shy beings. Nina was not easy. Nina was pushy, fragile, and bold. Nina wasn't here now. Mara was. And he was happy. Right?

"Alright Mar, I'm going to the coffeehouse; be back around eight, yeah?" Fabian said while grabbing his guitar case and kissing Mara gently on the cheek.

"Alright love, see you then," Mara spoke softly as Fabian drew farther from her. Grabbing his leather jacket, Fabian threw the garment on and closed his front door, filled guitar case in hand. The air was cool and windy. The sharp gusts pierced redness into his cheeks. Forming his fingers into the chords of his songs, he walked and practiced his guitar while mouthing the words to a song he was about to debut. It was a typical song he would write, nothing special, but hey, it paid some of the bills. At least he had a job. All of a sudden, a huge gust of wind blustered onto him and knocked his sheet music on the ground. Oh crap, Fabian thought as he immediately placed his guitar case on the sidewalk and bent down to collect his things. His whole repertoire was on the ground, all jumbled. This is why people have binders, stupid, Fabian cursed to himself as he tried to sort out his whole collection of papers that had been growing steadily since he was in high school.

For Nina, Forever Ago, a particular song title blared out at him. With a flash, he snatched the sheet up off the frigid sidewalk and sighed. He could never play that song in front of anyone, so what was the point of keeping it? Fabian had to admit, it was one of his best works. He heard someone say once that in order to have a great song, you need to find something out about yourself that you didn't know, and find something else when you play it. Well, in high school, he certainly figured out that he missed Nina. He still did. Everyone did. Now, he knew his feelings were no different after spending so much time away from her. They had to be. But there was still a gnawing on his insides. It was closure that he so desperately craved. Screw it, he thought. I'll just play it. It's not like anyone's gonna understand the song, anyway. His eyes wandered to his watch. 7:55. He had five minutes to walk ten blocks. Shit. Immediately, he jumped up and sprinted down the street. Before he knew it, he was out of breath, standing in front of the coffee shop.

"Rutter! Where have you been?" the manager Glenn interrogated as Fabian dashed inside.

"Sorry, dropped all my sheet music on the street. Sorry man," Fabian said to the casually-dressed man, gesturing at the crumpled, mixed up pages he carried in his left hand. "I'm ready though," he spoke, quickly squeezing his way through people to get to the makeshift stage.

"Well, alright. But you better blow us all away," Glenn shouted over at him sarcastically. However, his eyes seemed to glisten with pride. He could never get mad at Fabian. He's a good kid, the older man thought. Seeing this, Fabian breathed a sigh of relief. He was happy to be back in the dimly lit, cramped, hipster setting. It was his escape. As he approached the microphone, it squealed, earning yelps and gasps from the normally relaxed customers.

"Oh, sorry. Uh…well…uh…hey guys. If you don't know me, I'm Fabian Rutter, and I'll be playing a set for you today. Hope you like it," he smiled as he started to play.

Oh, God. Why am I doing this? This is Nina's song. Wait. Shut up, Fabian. Man up. You need to do this. Inhaling, he tried to erase the nerves from his brain, but to no avail. He started to play anyway.

The notes and chords flowed through his guitar like poetry, and Fabian soon forgot about everything. He was taken back to high school. Nobody knew the connections the lyrics had with his life, and Fabian liked that. He opened up the most closed off part of himself and the audience didn't even realize it.

So apropos saw death on a sunny snow

For every life

Seek the light

…my knees are cold

Running home, running home, running home, running home.

Go find another lover; to bring a- to string along!

With all your lies, you're still very lovable.

What might have been lost, what might have been lost

I toured a light

So many foreign roads

For Nina, forever ago.

With that, the last chord was played, and he felt a few tears slip onto his glossy instrument. All of the applause was drowned out of his thoughts. Everything came pouring back to him in bits and pieces.

"You're my chosen one…I will not give up. On Sarah, the quest, and certainly not on you…" his brain echoed, reminiscing back to the best part of his life. Then it was blank. And that was exactly how he felt now. How he had felt for a long time, actually. Why did she have to leave? Why did she have to do this to him? Everything was full-circle now. He could never truly stop loving her. She would always be there. Suddenly, the door to exit opened with haste, the bell attached above the door chimed intensely. He looked into the audience, mildly startled by the sound. A blur of long, curly, dirty blonde locks trailed a girl dashing out of the shop. It actually looked a lot like…

No. It couldn't be her. She was supposed to be in Cleveland, not in London. She needed to be protected. He was supposed to protect her. But she left.

He just had to be sure. Practically dropping his guitar, he weaved through the tables and sprinted out on the street. She was almost at the corner of the block. He couldn't catch her in time. Stopping dead in his tracks, he yelled through his slightly raspy voice from singing with the passion he had.

"Nina!" he shouted. The flowy hair, along with the girl, stopped moving in an instant. And Fabian knew. Running to her with full force, he could hear her sniffles, probably from crying, grow a tad bit louder as he grew closer to his Nina. After what seemed like ages, he reached her. Opening his mouth to say something, he couldn't find the words. What would he say? Hey Nina! It's been four years and you're still lookin' mighty fine! So he stayed silent as she slowly turned herself around to face him after a while of dead silence and hitched breath.

"Did you miss me?" she asked shakily, almost pleading to him. He geekily smiled, something he had not done in quite some time. "I wanted to talk to you, but the stakes were too high, and after school ended I just figured that you had gone with someone else from school, probably Joy or Mara, or, I don't even know. I'm so sorry, I never should have hurt you, I didn't mean to, I just, I, well I, I found out you were living here and I just had to see you one last time, it's just, it's been forever, and, well I, I just feel—" Her rambling was interrupted by his lips crashing onto hers, sparks igniting instantly. She let her hands snake around his neck and his around her waist. No explanation mattered. What mattered is that they were in the moment, together. Everything made sense when they were together. Challenging each other, yet complimenting each other, they were perfect in that moment. By no means were they perfect most of the time, but that moment would certainly do. Everything else was permanently in the past…

forever ago.

Song: For Emma by Bon Iver, and Flume by Bon Iver