She opened her eyes to the sun filtering softly through her window. Her mind was hazy with sleep- slow to focus on the world around her. But even as she let herself curl deeper into the blankets the soft sound of footsteps pulled her mind to the door.

The door slid open slowly and she pretended not to hear the tiny giggle coming from the edge of the bed. She pretended to stretch, shifting her body to face the opposite direction. Her eyes peeked open but just barely- her lashes hiding the fact that she was awake. Sparkling brown eyes, a mop of dark curls, and the most mischievous grin spread across a little face.

"Munchkin."

She knew that voice. She snuck a peek and saw him. James leaned against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest. He had a scowl on his face, but Teresa knew it wasn't sincere. The amusement was too obvious in his eyes and the corner of his lip kept twitching upward. Teresa let her gaze shift back to the little girl. She was facing James now, but Teresa could still see the way her eyes lit up at the sight of James.

"Mami's tired. Why don't we let her rest some more and you and me can go watch cartoons before Tío Pote makes breakfast."

The little girl tilts her head and contemplates his offer. She must agree because she nods excitedly before running to James and wrapping her arms around his legs. "Ok Daddy." Teresa's heart clenches at the sight and the words. The title 'Mami' finally hit her too. She had been so wrapped up in the moment she hadn't let her mind dwell on what she was hearing. "Do you think Tío will let me help?"

James turned the little girl towards the hallway, "We'll only know if we ask, huh?" Then he sent a wink to Teresa before walking out of the room, the little girl's hand tucked safely in his. She felt herself smile at the image the two made.

She loved him.

She loved both of them.

Teresa stayed in bed for a few more minutes before curiosity got the best of her. She knew a few things since she had opened her eyes this morning.

She was wearing a ring.

James was, too.

The little girl was their daughter.

Pote was still with them- alive and well apparently.

They were still in Phoenix (James' room was somehow the same and completely different).

But there were things she didn't know. Things she wanted to find out more than anything. She wanted to know her daughter's name and how old she was. She wanted to know when and how and everything about her marriage to James. She wanted to know about what had happened to the business- because there was no way that she or James would bring a child into that life. Was Tony alright? Was KellyAnn still with them in this version of her life or had the betrayal happened here too?

'Get up and find out,' her mind told her.

She threw back the covers and sat up, letting her legs swing around so her feet could rest on the floor. James' room was masculine overall, but as she looked closer Teresa could see her influence. Knickknacks that he never would have bought, light curtains that contrasted well with the darker furniture, the bedspread had a floral pattern that she loved and inherently knew James had only agreed to for her.

She stood up from the bed and made her way to the bathroom. It was odd but comforting to see the way that her things were mixed in with James' things on the counter. She liked the way their towels were side by side on the rack. They were together- a unit. This room made it obvious.

She took a quick shower, not wanting to miss anything that was happening downstairs. She stepped into the walk-in closet, her towel wrapped around her securely. It was the first sign of division, but somehow it was still cohesive. She still felt like it represented her relationship with James. His clothes were on one side, hers were on the other. She was light and carefree, he was dark and mysterious. But the different styles complimented each other. She sifted through some of the clothes pulling on underwear and a pair of leggings before moving to his side and rifling through the hangers until she found one of his sweaters. It was white with long sleeves and she had always liked the way he looked in it. She somehow knew she liked the way it felt on her, as well.

She had just slipped on a pair of flats when she heard a crash from downstairs. Her heart was suddenly in her throat and she was flying out of the bedroom and down the stairs. She rushed into the kitchen nearly colliding with James as she did. He had their daughter in his arms and Pote was sweeping the remnants of one of the glass measuring cups into the dustpan.

"What happened?"

James turned around and Teresa hoped he didn't see how absolutely terrified she had been. But the way he tilted his head and raised an eyebrow in question said she wasn't so lucky. Then there was a bundle of arms and legs wrapping around her body and Teresa's focus was redirected.

"Alicia was trying to help me with breakfast. The mixing cup tricked her, right Little One?" Pote was the one to answer, his voice stopping the fear-laced thoughts that had been ready to take over her mind. The little girl nodded against Teresa's shoulder and tried to cuddle closer. "But I think it surprised her more than anything." Pote didn't look up as he said any of this, which helped settle Teresa's nerves even more. He was calm and so was James. She didn't need to worry.

She meets James' eyes once again, and her heart flutters. Because the way he is looking at her is so soft and full of love. He isn't trying to hide it like she's used to him doing. And the complete openness that she sees in him makes her feel both completely loved and unspeakably sad that she missed the moments that led to him being this way. He reached out his hand letting his fingers settle on her upper arm. It was so different and yet the same. She still recognized the feel of his calloused fingers dragging along her skin. But there was a certainty to his touch- no hesitation- that wasn't there before.

"Ali, let's go sit at the table and you can finish helping Tío, okay?" His voice had the same low, gravelly quality it always had, but now- when he spoke to his daughter- there was a softness that Teresa had never heard before. Even if it weren't obvious on his face, anyone who heard him speak to her would know how much Alicia's father loved her.

Teresa felt Ali nod and, with a small smile for James, made her way to the table. She sat down and moved Ali so that she was facing the stove instead of hiding her face in the crook of Teresa's neck. She smoothed down the riot of curls that haloed her little girl's head and dropped a kiss onto her temple. She may have only met this little girl today, but there was already nothing she wouldn't do to keep her safe and happy.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Charger coming into the kitchen. She had wondered, but since it seemed like she was the only one unfamiliar with this version of her life, Teresa had decided not to ask questions yet. She wanted to enjoy this peace- enjoy her family. "Boss, there are some people at the winery. They said they know your friend in Bolivia. I left Lil' T and Carlito to watch him."

She didn't want Bolivia anywhere near her. She wanted to shove the people and the memories into the furthest reaches of her mind and forget them. By the way both James and Pote tensed up, they felt the same way. Her arms tightened around Ali reflexively. It was as if by holding her closer Bolivia and all it represented couldn't touch her- hurt her. She met James' eyes to gauge his response to this news. But for the first time in a lot longer than she wanted to think about, he was completely unreadable to her. And as she let her gaze drift to Pote she found the same thing.

"Charger, give us a minute."

Teresa hadn't heard James speak so coldly since before Malta.

Charger nodded and quickly left the room. The tension was building. She wished she could know what James was thinking. She wished he would show her something- anything about what this meant to him. But she was also terrified. Because if he was this upset she could only assume that there was something important that she didn't know.

"Pote, could you take Ali outside?"

Teresa didn't expect Pote to agree. But he did. There wasn't even a moment of hesitation. Teresa wasn't sure if that was because he didn't want to be involved or because he thought James was right. It didn't matter. Because he had already swept Ali into his arms and carried her out of the kitchen by the time her brain had processed anything. She shifted her attention back to James. His eyes were already on her. Cold, emotionless, so much like the first day she met him.

"You said you were done." His voice was the only thing giving away how angry he really was. It felt as if each word was being forced out of him. Like he didn't want to speak to her but knew he had no choice. "When you decided we would keep her, you said that you were out. No more Bolivia, no more cartels. Completely out."

She didn't know that. She hadn't been there. But to him she had. And apparently she had also been breaking promises and endangering their daughter. But there was no way to explain her side and no way to excuse whatever this other version of her had been doing. She had woken up this morning to a beautiful, perfect life.

She should have known it was too good to be true.

"She's four. Does she have to live with the threat of losing her mom this soon? Do I have to go out there and be your hit man again? Are you really willing to throw away her life- our life- for this?"

The way he spoke told her more than he probably realized- about him and what he wanted. And it was obvious that he didn't want the life they were leading. He didn't like the violence, he didn't like the danger. She had never taken the time to see it, but now it was so clear. He wanted a family. He had a family- they made one together. And even though he hadn't mentioned her, she could hear what he wasn't saying.

I don't want to lose you.

It was different- the weight that the sentiment held. He wouldn't just be losing a girl he cared for. She could see it so plainly. He would be losing his wife and the mother of his child. And that made everything so much more complicated. Because she knew what it was like to watch your parents die in front of you. And even still she had wanted- no, needed someone to explain to her why she was suddenly alone. And Teresa didn't want that for her little girl. She didn't want that for James. And she couldn't understand how this new Teresa could risk everything to keep this business alive.

"James…" His expression hardens, but she can't let it affect her. "I don't know why he sent anyone. Come with me. We can figure out what this is about together." She sees the way his eyes narrow at the word 'together' shaking his head in frustration. "I don't want to put our family at risk. I want to fix this. Let me."

He dropped his head to stare at the counter, arms gripping the edge of the sink. She waits. Waits for him to trust her, waits for him to see how sincere she is. If the roles had been reversed she would have needed more than a minute or an hour or probably even a day. The image of Ali holding James' hand pops into her mind's eye. She couldn't lose either of them. She wouldn't.

Footsteps caught their attention- James' first, like always. Charger came back into the kitchen, discomfort clear on his face. Teresa saw James nod out of the corner of her eye, but kept her focus on the other man in the room.

"They left. They said an emergency came up that had to be handled. Lil' T brought this for you." He handed a sealed envelope to Teresa and left the room. She stared at the envelope far longer than necessary- James' irritated sigh told her he knew why. Whatever was in that envelope could change everything. She may not have been living this life for long, but she was attached. The feelings she felt when the day started- she didn't want to lose that even if it wasn't truly real. She had Pote and the crew. She had Alicia- a child she loved more than anything. And she had James – he was everything she wanted.

Whatever is in this letter could destroy all of that. But the cruel part of herself- the side she hated most whispered into her mind that she had always destroyed the things she loved. She had never deserved any of the good anyway.

"Just open it."

His voice brought her back to the present. She gave a slow nod as her fingers worked the flap open. She pulled the note out and unfolded it. Immediately her eyes closed. She didn't want to know anything else- what she was looking at hurt enough. But she knew she couldn't hide from this- the danger was already here. A picture of Ali at a playground was surrounded by a note she hadn't read yet. The sun was shining in the picture- the light catching in her curls. She was running- smile wide- trying to avoid James' hands as they reached for her. His aviators were on but for once she didn't need to see his eyes to know he was happy. His grin was enough proof. Then she saw herself, standing to the side watching. Her head was thrown back in laughter and there wasn't a trace of worry or stress or fear to be found.

They were happy.

Teresa closed her eyes against the overwhelming beauty of the scene. With the risk of losing that so close, it hurt to look at. With her eyes still closed she placed the picture on the table. Then she looked at the note. It was short- to the point. It lacked the usual level of cryptic-ness of El Santo's other letters, but the foreboding that she associated with him was still wrapping its fingers around her throat.

You have made a new life for yourself, Teresa Mendoza. Moyocoyotzin. But even in new life one must remember the ways of the past. Our business is not finished- our bond as family has not been severed. Be careful that you do not destroy your new family by betraying your first one.

So he wanted her to stay in the business. He wasn't letting her get out. Was this the first note he had sent? Or had she ignored the others? Had she tried to do what he wanted in secret? There was so much that she didn't know. And being at a disadvantage right now could take everything from her.

Everything like James…

She let her eyes take in his tense form. Even in his anger he was beautiful. Her mind flashed to Guero, bleeding in her arms. She couldn't let that happen to James- she wouldn't. Getting up Teresa made her way to where he stood. Sliding the note across the counter for him to read she said, "He has Ali's picture." She wouldn't have thought it was possible for him to hold himself any more tensely, but those four words proved her wrong. "I don't know how to say no without him coming after her… without him coming after you."

He was already shaking his head, "it doesn't matter if he comes after me. The only thing that matters is that you and Alicia are safe. He can have me." Her heart clenched painfully in her chest. He was so ready to sacrifice himself for her- for them. She hated it. She never wanted him to die for her. She never wanted to lose him. Not to sickness or an accident, and definitely not to this business. He deserved better.

'I've got a plan for a future. And it doesn't include getting killed by crossfire meant for you.'

They hadn't cared about each other then, not in a nonprofessional way. But she had held onto those words. Every time he had put himself at risk for her. Every time he drew enemy fire so she could get to safety. She didn't go back because of dark caves. She didn't go back because of respect or trust or even love. She went back because she didn't want to be the reason he didn't have the future he planned. She knew what it felt like- to wake up with your life going in one direction and fall asleep with all of those dreams burned to ash.

Her hand was gripping tightly to his wrist before she realized she had moved. "No he can't." James gave her an irritated look. But she didn't care; she had lived through his anger before. "He can't have you. He can't have Ali. He can't have any of us. None of us are disposable- especially not you." Her other hand came up to rest against his jaw, forcing him to look at her. "I need you, James. We all need you. Don't make me explain to her why her father isn't coming home. Don't make me wake up in bed alone for the rest of my life."

James pulled away, running a hand through his hair. She could see him weighing their options in his mind. She could see him struggling between risking everything to make sure she and Ali stayed alive and risking even more to make sure the three of them stayed alive together.

He touched the edge of the note with his index finger, as if that small acknowledgment would somehow make El Santo's people suddenly appear before them. He turned to face her fully, his hand slipping away from the note. "We need to figure out what he wants" he started, eyes locking with hers letting her see all of the anger and fear and determination in them. "Does he want a tribute or does he want us to actually move and sell product? We need to know. And we need to leave here. I don't want him to be able to find Ali again. She can't be a bargaining chip- ever."

Teresa nodded along to his words. She was listening, ideas forming in her mind with each word he said. But she was noticing other things too. Like the way he said 'we'. The way he was taking control of the situation was new, but she knew instinctively that it was because Ali was involved and not because he wanted to run the business. She could see the same look in his eyes that she used to see in her father's. He would protect his family because it was his responsibility- no one else's.

The anger hadn't faded, but James' arm still snaked around her waist and pulled her to him. His other hand came up and his fingers tangled in her hair tilting her face to meet his kiss. It was quick, rough, saying everything that mattered. I love you, I need you to be safe, we can figure this out together, I'm still on your side. He pulled away slowly, and pressed his lips to her temple- not a kiss, just comfort. Her hands had found their way to his chest, gripping his shirt in her fists. Teresa let herself breathe in his scent, let herself feel all the fear and vulnerability a wife and mother would be feeling. She put aside the cartel leader in her and embraced the woman.

Her mind took her to Guero.

She never would have been able to let go this way with him.

He never would have understood her in the way James does.

"Go pack. I'll send Ali to you and fill Pote in on what's going down." James' hands fell away from her and he took a step back. She nodded and let her eyes go to the window. She could see Ali sitting on Pote's lap laughing at Charger where he sat making funny faces. Teresa's expression must have been worried because James placed a hand on her shoulder. "We'll keep her safe."

James headed for the door that Pote and Ali had gone through not too long ago. For a moment Teresa didn't let her eyes leave her daughter. For some reason it felt like to look away would be to lose her. But she didn't doubt James. She watched as James picked Ali up and tickled her- she hears her shriek of laughter. And even though James couldn't hear it his eyes still met hers when she whispered, "I know."