AN:
TW-Loss of unborn child. Miscarriage.
This is the last sad story to be included in my Valentines fics. I think this will be the most heart wrenching one I've ever written, so with that in mind if you like happy endings please do not read. If you are a masochist for emotional pain then enjoy. But seriously this story is not for the feint of heart.
Also please note I have never gone though such a traumatic experience such as this, but people close to me have. I am sorry if I don't depict this correctly.
It had been a long day at the station and Emma was happy to be coming home to the woman she was still so desperately in love with. Walking into the penthouse apartment the blonde cracked her neck instantly relaxing at the smell of lasagna drifting through the air and the sound of Regina's music dancing with the aroma in a sensual mix. Breathing in deeply she shut the door knowing her wife would be in the kitchen.
Moving into the open space of her living room the blonde took a right opening the door leading to their kitchen where she watched the brunette sway to the music ost in the moment. Quietly as possible Emma slipped behind the brunette wrapping her arms around the woman's stomach and bringing her close.
"Emma," the woman within her arms smiled placing her sun kissed hands over the blonde's paler ones leaning into the embrace, "I have a surprise for you."
Piqued at the ideas Emma grinned nuzzling into the nape of Regina's neck and kissing her softly, "Oh really," she nipped at the hot skin against her lips, "And will this be before or after dinner?" she asked pulling Regina in closer so their bodies were only separated by the atoms around them.
Grinning the brunette spun in her wife's arms so they were face to face. There was a new light in the darker woman's eyes that wasn't there a week ago when she hadn't been feeling well. Accepting the kiss given as Regina leaned in Emma tried to deepen it wanting nothing more to ravage the woman before dinner, but the brunette was quick to pull back, "Emma, there's something I need to tell you."
Hearing the serious tone the detective allowed herself to be lead back into the livingroom and to the couch facing the large open window. Sitting down on the deceptively comfortable couch the two women faced each other hands still linked, but the air had changed as did Regina's demeanor. Instead of looking like the confident woman she held her head down biting her lip and Emma swears she could never gaze at a sight more beautiful than her wife no matter what mood the woman was in.
Seeing that Regina was continuing to worry Emma shook her head placing her fingers under her loves chin and raising her head so they were eye to eye, "C'mon you can tell me," she assured and the honesty in her eyes had red lips curving.
Taking Emma's hands and placing them on her stomach she was hoping the woman would guess herself, but no luck, "Are you hungry?" the way the blonde's nose wrinkled had a small laughed coming from red lips as Regina simply shook her head. Pressing the pale hands firmer against the area the brunette looked into emerald eyes.
Still trying to get what Regina was trying to get across Emma searched cognac eyes looking for something, anything, and then she found it. That little light that was there along with the expectant look had the blonde smiling, "You're pregnant," she whispered in awe to which Regina nodded and smiled wider and wider.
"You're pregnant," the blonde said more excitedly albeit a little louder. Jumping up from her seat the horizon from the window she could see seemed so small compared to the world inside their home in that moment. Turning back to Regina and dropping to her knees in a move that startled the woman Emma stared at her abdomen a smile she'd never seen before adorning the blonde's lips.
Letting her hands slide up jean clad thighs and beneath the cardigan sweater the brunette wore to caress the woman's abdomen Emma was so happy, "I love you," she cried imagining their life from that point on, "I love you both so much," she declared looking back up into the eyes of the woman who'd given her the world in that moment.
Leaning down Regina met smiling lips with her own, "And we you."
After that night the happy couple couldn't stop smiling. Together they read the do's and don'ts of parenting, babies for dummies, and every book they came across they thought would help, as well as some advice from their friends who already had children. When it came to deciding names though is when the two would argue relentlessly.
"There is no way my son's name will be Charlotte," Emma groaned running the palm of her hand over Regina's small bump as they sat cuddled on the couch watching the sunset. Ever since the brunette had started showing Emma had become more obsessed with being close and taking care of the woman though many times Regina would get annoyed and send her away at least until the blonde broke out the pout that was Regina's kryptonite.
Rolling her eyes Regina layed her own hand over Emma's where it held the underside of her small belly, "Well I won't be having my son named Max, it's too simple."
"And no child of ours will be simple will they?" the blonde jested good naturedly.
"Of course." the smile radiated a warmth much like that of the sun as Regina turned to peck Emma on the lips. Settling back into her wife the two simply sat peacefully in the night.
Over the course of the next few weeks the two had begun to buy things they would need for when the baby arrived. In fact when Regina came home from her night out with the girls she found Emma and at least four other guys in the baby room sitting around pieces of the DaVinci Kalani crib, which would only in reality take an hour or two but knowing her wife Regina knew it was going to take longer.
"I see things are going swimmingly," her voice broke the concentration of the group holding various pieces of the espresso colored wood.
Snapping their heads up in the direction of the voice the group on the floor smiled, "Hey 'Gina," Jones smiled waving in her direction as did a few of the others. Emma though rose from her spot on the floor with a beaming smile walking over to the brunette in the doorway.
"Hey."
"Hi," Regina couldn't get over the affection Emma had shown both her and their unborn child.
So deep in each other's eyes like they were lost within the other's soul the two women were brought from their thought's by another of Emma's friends, "Well this would have been finished, but she had us out shopping," and Regina raised an eyebrow in question, "I think each one of us had our cars filled to the brim. Pretty sure she was this close," he held his pointer finger and thumb not even a hair's breath from each other, "To asking SWAT to help out." the blush covering said woman was adorable as her friends laughed at her expense.
Hiding her head in the crook of Regina's neck the inaudible, "Shut up," only had them laughing harder.
Bringing her arms around her wife Regina stroked Emma's soft golden hair, "And where pray tell me are all of these wonderful things darling?"
"Imdaoderoom," she garbled not wanting to leave her favorite spot.
Chuckling at her wife's antics she'd become Emmalingual over the course of their years together and was able to understand the woman most of the time, "Well thank you," she kissed the woman's temple, "All of you," she smiled at the men who looked happy to see their friend so happy and alight with it.
Releasing Emma, Regina departed with the promise of dinner if they were able to finish the crib in time. With that incentive the group got together only messing up maybe five times before the bed was constructed correctly and placed against the wall Emma knew Regina would prefer.
That night the company around the dinner table was welcome and alive with laughter and happiness as they all talked about who the favorite 'uncle' would be. Shepard coming up with the best reason why he'd be the best uncle, "Because I just will be." and they all laughed knowing these two women deserved to be the mother's they already were to many of their younger friends. If the way they interacted with their nieces and nephews was anything to go by then their child would want for nothing both physically and emotionally.
Later in the evening when all the guys had left and the stack of unwashed dishes left forgotten the two women lay in bed with Emma's head near the growing baby bump smiling and caressing the place her future laid. Kissing the bump her hand crawled up the cool sheets to find Regina's and entwined their fingers, "I can't wait to meet you little buddy," the smile gracing her lips was contagious.
"I'm sure he's excited to meet you too."
"Yeah?" green eyes moved up to meet brown.
Caressing her lover's cheek Regina smiled, "Of course he will, how could he not?"
Accepting her wife's answer Emma went back to talking to their little boy, "I hope you have her eyes, and her smile, and her everything," she spoke so softly that it made the older woman want to weep.
"As long as he has your dimple beneath his chin," Regina commented watching as Emma placed and ear to her stomach, "And knowing you he's going to love you and never let go."
"Yeah, he can lay with me when he's so small with his cute little feet," the look in her eyes was far away telling of a happy future, "And when he's only half asleep I'll leave him be, promise," and though the grin told otherwise the brunette just accepted the promise for what it really was, "And I'll hold you in my arms while you grip onto my thumb with your little small fingers and hold me tight while I hold you close." she let her hand still on the small bump, "Bust most of all I promise to always love you and tell you nothing but the truth and do my best by you."
Seeing the blonde promise herself so fully to their child made Regina smile tiredly, Come on you big baby," she pulled on Emma's hand so she could cuddle with her lover while she slept. Giving into her wife's command Emma crawled back up the bed laying on her side and wrapping her arms around the woman she loved so very much making sure to leave a hand over the bump to protect Marcell from the dangers of the night, "I love you both so much," she whispered the words that had become her nightly mantra.
"And we you," the tired woman replied. Both women soon succumbed to a peaceful sleep, and dreamed of their future together with their little boy.
It was the anguished cry coming from her lover that roused the blonde from the wonderful dream she'd been having, "Gina, what's wrong?" her sleep laced voice questioned as the brunette cried out again.
"It hurts Emma, it hurts so much," she cried lurching forward violently as if possessed, "I don't know what to do!" tears streamed down her face as the blonde cupped the cheeks covered in salty water.
"Okay," she remained calm knowing someone had to, "Come on we have to get to the hospital." she rolled off the bed only in her shorts and sports bra not caring one iota for anything else save for the woman in pain. Moving over to her wife's side she needed to know if she could stand, "Can you walk?"
"It just hurts so much," was all Regina could whimper as Emma made the decision to pick up the woman bridal style and get them to where they needed to be. Moving quickly but carefully they made their way downstairs and to the car. Pulling out of the parking garage Emma broke every law she was able to while making sure they were safe.
Once at the hospital she brought out the medics and doctors hoping they'd be able to do something. However as she followed the men and women talking around Regina as they pulled her along on the gourney they'd denied her access to her wife and unborn child as they passed the double doors.
Being resigned to waiting and filling out paperwork Emma finally noticed the blood stains on her arms, and oh god her heart sank at not knowing what was going on. Looking back down at the sheet the lines and words blurred together. The only thing she'd done so far was date the paper 2-14-16. Nothing else had been touched by the ink in the pen that she held tightly. Unable to find the will to finish the forms she set the clipboard down on the chair beside her.
The seconds seemed to tick by becoming minutes, and the minutes became hours and still no word on the condition of Regina or their child. Head in her hands she shook because why weren't they coming to tell her what was wrong? Why hasn't anyone said anything? God the waiting was killing her.
Soon images of first's entered her mind. First steps, words, day of school, sports, music lessons, girlfriends or boyfriends, graduations, birthdays, holidays, and oh so many more that had sprung to mind over the past few weeks began to fade away to never happen at all. So sick with the waiting and images her mind supplied her with Emma began to pace the floor trying to keep the thoughts from her mind.
A few hours and a worn line in the floor later, a man in a white coat and grim face crossed over into the waiting area, "Swan-Mills?" Emma perked up seeing the man's grim face though had her worrying even more. Standing from her chair the blonde walked over.
"Are they okay?"
The heavy sigh the doctor exhaled told of the devastating news he'd be bringing this woman, "When you brought your wife in we rushed as fast as we could and did everything possible, but I'm sorry the child didn't make it."
The sharp breath felt like a stabbing pain to her heart, and oh god how Regina must feel in that moment tormented the blonde even more, "Can I see her?"
Nodding the doctor motioned for Emma to follow him. Moving down the corridors he stopped in front of room 108, "I'm sorry," he whispered before patting her on the shoulder and leaving her to face the woman she loved so desperately no doubt heartbroken as she if not even more so.
Opening the door Emma stepped inside. Regina just laid there looking up at the ceiling hands lying where he used to be and the dried tracks of tears showed under the harsh florescent lights. Frowning the blonde steeled herself, she had to be strong for her wife and then maybe when she didn't have to be strong she could cry too.
Moving over to the bed she sat on the edge placing one of her own hands on top of Regina's. Eye's that had lost that light looked into hers and the tears burst through once more. Seeing the brunette in pain broke Emma. All she'd wished was that she could take that pain on herself so Regina didn't have to suffer. Leaning over to cradle her crying wife the brunette turned on her side to make room for Emma. Accepting the request the blonde laid down with the brunette holding her close as she cried and wept and eventually in the wee hours of the morning fell asleep exhausted from the night and pain they'd endured though there would only be more to overcome in time.
Moving her hand over the small bump still left on her wife's stomach Emma closed her eyes swearing she could still feel the small butterfly kicks and punches of her baby's feet, but she knew he was no longer there with them.
AN: I promise that's the last of the sad one's I'll be writing for my last Valentine's day stories. Please let me know what you thought.