Places in My Soul
Title: 2nd Choice
Author: RaeAnne
Rating: G-PG
Synopsis: A look at choices, at places in the heart. How deep can one love without loving at all?
Spoilers: Well not really, thought I am going off of the "2nd choice" phrase used in October 20th episode (the title I can't remember)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or the town of Everwood. I am not making or seeking any compensation for this story and have written it for entertainment purposes only. Copyrights and trademarks belong to their respective owners and no infringement is intended. Thanks.
Authors Note: Hi, this is my fist Everwood story, thanks for stopping by and checking it outJ. I love this show! This hopefully will be the first chapter in this story, with more to come soon. Anyway I hope that I have staid somewhat true to these characters while still exploring their thoughts that aren't always brought out on the show. I hope you enjoy it (if so and even if not a little note would be appreciated, I am always looking for ways to improve my writingJ) Thank you so much! RaeAnne ---(@
Chapter 1
My 2nd Choice
There are places in my soul where my secret demons hide, places in my mind where I lock away my pain, places in my heart that I refuse to acknowledge exist. Past, present, and future, a time line staring me in the face. I want to feel something… something other then this dull ache.
My 2nd choice, but my first true soul mate. You see into me, into those places in my soul. You see what I don't want you, or the world to see, and you see what I can't. My 2nd choice… that's what your role has been, I am sorry. But you scare me; you scare me because you make me become something I never knew I could be. You take me from my safety zone, you push me to realize and accept what I don't want to. My comfort zone is shattered when you stand in front of me with your unwavering confidence daring me to leap, challenging me to lose you. That too scares me, for you have been my rock, even if I don't thank you enough for that. It's also that fact that scares me, I take you for granted, I use you, and I take advantage of you because I know you'll have me back. But lately I see it in your eyes; you are tired of my games. I don't blame you; you are about ready to leave me. What would I do without you? I pray I never have to find out.
How do I convey all that I feel? How do I express an emotion that is something I myself don't understand? My heart I can't give, not yet, for I am afraid I don't have it, and it's not who's you think it is, that that was my reason before. Now it's something more, something different. I'm ready to step away from my excuse, for it is what he has become. I can't give you my heart because I am afraid you posses it. Maybe not the love that should go with it, but you posses it…because like your own, you know it, you regard, protect and feel it like your own. Besides right now I have no use for it.
My 2nd choice you were, my final destination you are. My familiar patterns you shatter, your reassuring smile you offer, my small world you shadow, but your laugh lights up the unknown sky. My comfort you make me abandon, the safety of your arms you offer. My 2nd choice? No…. my only choice.
(AN: Next chapter I hope to have out soon is called "I Can't Be Your Friend" which will follow much in this style with chapters that is more of a story, not so much first person to follow. Thank you so much for reading! RA)