-Dislcaimers: I DO NOT own Gundam Wing or any of the other anime's mentioned. ::growls:: Not fair!

-Author's Note: I'm just a little hentai and messed up up here... ::taps head:: But I hope that's all right with you. There's actually a PLOT in this story! Yes! Thank you, thank you, it's funny and hard to follow at first, but once you get the picture well... it's not a pretty sight. I wrote this when I just... felt like writing something so the chapters are fairly short. Oh well.

-Kitzaku-san

1 The Horrors of TV



As Tenchi looked out of his bedroom window, he saw something from the corner of his eye. He turned his head and the thing flew by with a whoosh and decapitated him.

"Yeah!" Duo cried. "It's about time! No one really liked that dork anyway!"

"I don't know..." Quatre said quietly, "he was really nice. I hate it when people kill others because of hatred."

Wufei snorted. "You sure?"

Quatre nodded. "Positive."

"I your friend! I kill Treize!" Wufei exclaimed. "Baka!"

Quatre looked at his feet. "But you were in a war."

"So what?"

"War is all about hatred."

"But you hate hatred...wait... HAHAHA! Hate hatred! That rich!" Wufei doubled over with laughter.

Quatre's eyes welled with tears. "You were...confusing me! I'm t-t- telling Trowa!!!" He ran from the room.

Duo shook his head. "You were too hard on him over nothing."

"It not my fault." Wufei retorted. "The pansy is a pansy."

"But still...." Duo started but Sailor Moon came on. "WOAH! Look at those babes!" He sat drooling over the TV.

"Baka Duo." Wufei shook his head. "They ugly. Even Zechs prettier."

Duo wasn't paying attention. His eyes were glued to the TV.

Serena was eating hamburgers when Darien came knocking.

"Oh Darien!" she cried.

"Serena, I came to see Rini." Darien replied with a half-smile.

Serena pouted. "I think you like her more than me!"

Rini appeared at the steps. "Darien! Yay! Now we can go shopping!"

Serena's jaw dropped. "How come I can't come?"

Darien sighed. "I promised Rini... I'll see you later."

Darien and Rini left and Serena looked in the corner of her eye and noticed something. Then it came and hit her in the head and decapitated her.

"Hey!" Duo exclaimed. "There's a conspiracy here!"

Wufei snorted. "Serena no talk right. She stupid"

"What are you talking about Fortune Cookie? You can't even speak English right!" Duo yelled.

"Well I not drool over Sailor Freaks!"

"They aren't freaks! They've got major sex-appeal!"

"OOOOOO I tell Hilde!"

"Hey! Don't you dare!"

"OH HI-"

Duo ran over and clamped a hand over Wufei's mouth. "Shut up sexist!"

Wufei reached and flung Duo over his back and Duo kicked Wufei in the ribs. They threw punches and kicks and got into a huge fight.

Quatre barged in with Trowa. Quatre's face was streaked with tears.

"Who made my Quatre-chan cry?!" Trowa demanded.

Duo quickly pointed to Wufei. "He made fun of Quatre and confused him."

"Tattle-tale..." Wufei grunted.

"H-h-he was being mean!" Quatre sobbed.

Trowa barged in the fight, fists flying. Quatre was yelling at them to stop and suddenly a girl's voice shouted out:

"STOP!!!"

It was Noin. She held Wufei and Duo by the ear and motioned for Trowa to follow. Duo and Wufei were struggling. Wufei had a huge gash on the side of his head from Trowa's hair and Trowa got whipped a few times my Duo's hair and Duo, trying to keep his complexion fair, was suprisingly unhurt.

"I'm proud that you had enough sense not to get into the fight." Noin said to Quatre. "As for these three." She looked at Trowa, Duo and Wufei, "You've been acting like five year olds!"

They hung their heads in shame.

Quatre spoke up. "But Miss Noin, they were fighting because of me."

"Oh? Is that right you three?" Noin said the others. They nodded.

"Lock him up too!" Wufei shouted.

"You mean you're gonna lock them up? For fighting?" Quatre said, scared.

"Oh no! I'll just yell at them for a while." Noin explained.

"But my ears!" Duo complained. "I won't be able to hear Hilde! No wait, that's a good thing."

"OOH I tell Hilde..." Wufei started.

"Hey! Don't start!"

Noin hauled them down the hall. "It's embarrassing about how I have to look after you two all the time."

"Wait," Wufei said suddenly, "What about Mr. Every-day-is-a-bad-hair- day?"

Noin stopped and looked around. Trowa and Quatre had disappeared.

"Oooo they in T-R-A-B-L-E!!" Wufei said in a singsong voice.

"Hahaha you spelled trouble wrong!" Duo laughed.

"Shut up." Wufei glared.

"Trowa wasn't acting as rowdy as you two anyway." Noin decided.

"But...hey! I wasn't even in this!" shouted Duo. "I was watchin Sailor Moon!"

"DUO!" Noin snapped. "You know you shouldn't be watching those shows! They make you hard!"

"That what Hilde and Heero for...." Wufei snickered.

"Hey!" Duo said turning red. "This is my PERSONAL life!"

Noin came to a door and led the two pilots in and sat them in chairs. "Dorothy will be here shortly with your punishment."

"NO! NOT DOROTHY!" Both the pilots exclaimed, a look of horror on their faces.

Noin casually walked out and closed the door behind her.

Stay tuned to find out what happened to Quatre and Trowa and what horrors await Duo and Wufei. And where's Heero?

Heero: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!

Relena: It's been three years! And you NEVER gave me the card in PERSON!

Heero: I HAD GOOD REASON!

/"I do not approve of Relena Peacecraft." -quote from Chang Wufei/