A/N: Sorry not sorry. Warnings/Disclaimers: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima I own nothing. And yes, this is in part from (Wild)Rhov'sgratsu fanfictions with the whole Gray being afraid to say I love you andstuph. This is a yaoi (guyxguy) kinda… Major character deaths suicide attempt uber depression yeah, this is the angstiest angst I have ever angsted anyway On with the angst.

Gray gripped the scarf, staring down at the fresh grave as he tried to hold back his wailing sobs.

The only person he had allowed himself to say those three words to after his mentor and parents had died…

His one fear…

It had all come true.

"Well, I guess that fear doesn't really matter now. Huh, Natsu?" He tried to laugh but only fell to his knees and wept.

"Why?!" He wailed, staring at those words etched into the stone, "Why did you have to jump in front of that bolt?! You knew it would kill you! You knew…"

He sat for a moment, holding onto the white muffler as if it was the only thing keeping him alive.

"I really do love you, ya know. I could have stepped out of the way in time. You didn't have to run in front of me…"

"Well, look at the bright side... At least, I don't have to worry about saying 'I love you' now, huh? None of those irrational fears that you might die like my parents and Ur. 'Cause you're already dead! How am I supposed to live without you…"

He stared up at the evening sky, just beginning to darken into shades of brilliant dark blues.

"You remember don't you, that time on the beach where we talked for so long that the sun set, and we got kicked off of the boardwalk because it got so late…" He chuckled with a sad smile, looking back down at the scarf in his hands.

"This should've been buried with you. All those missions you went on just to find Igneel, only to come back to the guild with nothing. You probably didn't realize, but you would just stare forlornly at your scarf for hours sometimes. One of the reasons I even started a fight with you was because I wanted to make you stop thinking about Igneel. And of course, you being the stubborn bastard I fell in love with, you wouldn't turn down a blatant challenge. We would race to the river, the race, of course, ending in a tie. And then we would fight, those beautiful fights that we took for granted. That too would end in a draw, both of us almost unconscious on the river bed." He felt the tears trickling down his face, dampening the scarf clenched in his hands.

"You know, I suggested that as a burial place, right next to the river where we fought, underneath that big tree you loved." He fished through his pocket for something.

"I, uh, I made you this. After our mission, I was gonna give it to you. But I guess that's not gonna happen now." He wiped away the tears beginning to form.

"Well, I guess I might as well try now." He went into a kneeling position, facing the carved stone.

"Natsu Dragneel, would you do me the honor of becoming my.. my husband?" He said shakily, opening a small velvet box to reveal a delicate ring made of ice with a flickering eternal flame in the center.

"It took a lot of tries to get this right, but I finally got it… And it's all yours... if you'll take me…"

He felt a warm breeze ruffle his clothes. It smelt of cinnamon and strawberry wine and burned charcoal.

"Natsu…" He felt a joyful sadness envelop him as he placed the ring on the grave.

"I'm already wearing mine..." He showed the stone his wooden ring, a small fracture of ice protruding from the center.

"I made the ice in the rings so that they wouldn't melt. 'Cause of all the fire you used to have…" He tried his best to keep the tears behind his eyelids where they belonged, but they just kept falling.

"No, you know what… I can't. I cannot live without you. What's the point in me being alive if I can't enjoy my time with you?"

He glanced at the muffler resting in his hands, and then towards a large tree standing a few yards away. He got an idea.

As he was walking, he felt an insistent gust pushing him away from the tree and back towards the guild. The smell of cinnamon and strawberry wine and that annoyingly perpetual hint of burnt charcoal overwhelmed him.

"Natsu… Why won't you let me just die? I just want to be with you." He slumped down, holding the scarf to his face to block the tears.

He felt a warmth envelop him from behind, almost like Natsu used to do when Gray was making early morning breakfasts before a mission.

Gray whipped around.

"Natsu!" He called out, wanting to have one last glimpse of that pink hair before he would never be able to see it again.

But whatever had caused the familiar presence was gone.

Gray fought against the wind, using his need to have Natsu by his side again to push him forward.

Once he was at the tree, he wrapped one end of the scarf around a branch and fashioned the other into a noose.

He could still feel the wind whipping around him, trying to pull him away from the tree, away from freedom, away from… Natsu.

He placed his neck in the noose, stepping on an upturned root.

He took a step forward, off of the root and towards the ground.

"Natsu!" Gray jerked awake, reaching next to him for that familiar head of pink. He heard a muffled groan and felt a slight tug to the blanket and let out a sigh of relief.

"I don't know what I would do without you…"

A/N: Haha, I actually made myself cry a little while writing this but that might just be cos I get over emotional over my OTPs eheh…. Anyway, thanks for reading. Go do that feedback thing if u want