Yamamoto and laxatives don't mix.
The morning's meeting had ended much shorter than usual because Yamamoto had excused himself from it an hour earlier. "That's weird," Jushiro said out loud as he exited the meeting room. "He never leaves before the meeting ends. And there's another hour to go. But anyway, I have to go get my medication. Bye."
Shunsui followed his old friend into the forth division's pharmacy.
"Eh, what seems to be the problem?" They asked when they saw the pharmacy in disarray.
"It seems Captain Shunsui, that 7th seat Hanatarou, during the morning, accidentally administrated laxatives of Grade A kind to Captain Commander Yamamoto as his morning medication. The Captain took the whole bottle."
"You mean the kind that makes you go toileting as fast as the wind?"
"Y-yes." The shinigami replied, hesitantly.
"Wait. Jushiro, if I remember correctly, Yama-jiji didn't go to the toilet from this morning's meeting and …"
"Oh. Shit." The two captains simultaneously shouted. "Evacuate this place. NOW!"
Too late, they already saw the old man raising his flaming sword, walking towards the pharmacy, albeit weak on the feet, though.
Captain of the First Division, and commander of the Gotei 13…14, Yamamoto Genryuusai, the wielder of the strongest fire element sword in history and the only known shinigami that has ever lived over two thousand years old.
With his divine, almost unfathomable strength, he was to, using his flaming sword, pass judgment on the location known as the Pharmacy of the Forth Division.
"For crimes against my digestive system, mental sanity and ability to pass motion, I hereby sentence you to ASHES!" He roared.
The man raised his sword high above, only to drop it and run wildly to the nearest toilet he could find.
With an EXTREMELY loud BARAFUHHHKKKK there came the following: a happy Yama-jiji, a not flaming sword and an amazingly insane stench that could scare away Aizen Sousuke himself. And that was saying something.
The endless fear of the medic team and the two captains was daunting. They remembered what happened a good two hundred years ago.
--------200 years ago soul society news---
ENRAGED CAPTAIN COMMANDER DESTROYED HALF OF SEIREITEI DUE TO EXCRETION PROBLEMS! DEATH TOLL RISING TO TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE. THE CAPTAIN COMMANDER IS STILL ON A RAMPAGE. ALERT TO ALL RESIDENTS OF SEIREITEI.
The people shuddered at the thought. In the end ,it took a gallon of tranquilizers, a whole fifty man platoon of Kido Corps elites and several hundred binding spells to calm him down.
"I'll go take a look." Shunsui said out, as he crept away from the table suddenly, he ran back shouting "TAKE COVER!"
BOOOM! The toilet exploded. A LOT of… unimaginable things went flying in all directions, spanning a radius of fifty meters.
"All I wanted was to flush the toilet…" Yamamoto said before cleaning himself of the waste material and walking away from it like nothing happened. But before that, "REVENGE!" Yamamoto shouted as he waved his sword, charging towards the pharmacy, but accidentally slipped on the poop and fell on his head.
"I think we should get out of here now." The captains said to each other. They shunpo-ed away, just in time to escape a quite rather really impressively pissed of Unohana, if that could be used.
"Now, who's going to clean up this mess?" she smiled, with every inch of her being deep fried, steamed, boiled and marinated in an infinite abyss of menacing aura portraying the very word of 'Smiling Devil'.
Her underlings quickly complied.
A/N: Hey there *waves*! The original idea came from my older brother, half of it was written by him too. Yamamoto going completely OOC. Hope you liked it.