Hello, everybody, my name is Reevee21! And I know JUST ABOUT NOTHING about Fire Emblem!
When I say that, I mean that I'm one of those people who was alerted to this series' existence by Super Smash Bros. and took an interest in the rather pretty-looking males. I'm not usually one for serious games like this - and the fact that characters can die off permanently really worries me, I get really attached to my people...
But I took a risk and tried their latest game anyway! And MAN, did Fire Emblem: Fates not disappoint! The anti-disappoint levels were through the roof and off to Mars that day! ...did I just accidentally make a Marth joke -
ANYWAY, to really absorb the atmosphere into my existence, I picked a name not my own and chose a character design that probably wasn't the closest to what I look like. These tiny differences, plus me experiencing the game for the first time, had me mentally novelizing the whole adventure down to what the characters were probably shouting at each other and at me, their slightly incompetent tactician.
And what spawns from novelizing, kids? ...that's right! A novel!
But lemme get a few things out of the way right here and right now.
These characters are my interpretation of them.They are not as in-character as I could probably make them, but this is both my interpretation of the story and a more humorous look at it. ...as humorous as a war of pegasai and magic and animal-summoning and dragon people can be. I gave them several quirks based on how I see them, and some guys like the Nohrians might actually be a bit painful for you Nohr-siding folks...(why yes, I am very Hoshidian sided. What gave it away?)
To sum it up, everyone can be made fun of here! Me, the Nohrians, the Hoshidians, the dragons, the fighters that look like eight year olds, the adults, the children, my soldiers, the enemy soldiers, EVERYONE! And I'm sorry if I put any of you off while I do this. I won't hit too low, I promise! Cross my heart and hope to be shot by those stinking surprise archers that are always in the far corners of the battlefield for stealth reasons. ...I hate those guys.
I'm playing as a female avatar on Phoenix mode.Why yes, I am a coward! What gave it away? ...I can't help it I LOVE MY PEOPLE I DON'T WANNA WATCH THEM DIIIEEE DX
And I do have something of a plot point for this. Don't worry. EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL -
*My character dies*
- CRUD, NEVERMIND, NOTHING IS UNDER CONTROL -
Fire Emblem is owned by Intelligent Systems and Nintendo. I claim nothing of Fire Emblem except for a love of it and two of its games. I'll take half credit for the interpretation I have here, but everything else, DANG GIRL, THAT'S NINTENDO'S, DON'T GO PRAISING ME. All clear? All clear!
ONWARD! To a version of Fates that I like to dub Nyan's Birthright!
…hello there.
I am surprised to find you here. Not many come this way; the shadows deter them. But I can see that you are particularly brave…you are a unique one, aren't you? Brave, or perhaps curious…or cocky…or bored. Most likely all of these traits.
You remind me of someone else I met…someone either brave, curious, cocky, or bored…or all four combined…her name was Nyan.
"Hm—! Oh hey! Did ya call?"
…no, actually.
"Aw man."
…sorry…?
"Eh, it's okay. Who's your friend?"
This stranger?
"Yea, them."
Someone either brave, curious, cocky, or bored.
"So they're not cowardly, dull, humble, or ever-involved? That's awesome! I hate people that are cowardly, dull, humble, or ever-involved. What be your name, stranger?"
I have a sneaking suspicion that they cannot speak with us.
"Ooo, a mute!"
That's not—
"I LOVE mutes!"
They're probably not—
"Nice ta meet you, mute! I like your eyes. They're very pretty. Like gems crammed into the front of your skull."
...ah, that's right…I've forgotten who I'm dealing with…stranger, this is the above-mentioned Nyan.
"Hallo. Captain Grammar over here is Neko! He's nice. He has pretty hair."
It is my pleasure. …I suppose you didn't just come this way to meet new people, however.
"Yea, they look bored already. …stop looking bored, mute!"
They're not mute, Nyan…you know what? For calling them that, I say we give them your story.
"That's a pretty big price to pay for calling a mute a mute, don't you think?"
*Shove*
"Alright, alright! I like talking about myself anyway…!"
Nyan here visits me fairly often nowadays. But a few years ago, she couldn't…she was occupied by other things.
"Ya mean a war?"
It really was more than a war.
"Yea, I guess…it was also a very romantic adventure!"
I…suppose it was…I don't know why you choose to focus on that aspect…
"Deep inside, I'm a teenage girl, Neko. ANYWAY! Wanna hear it in detail? You can always back out if you want. Or speak up. …but I guess you can't do that since you're a mute and all—you know what? I'm going to start, stop me if you want to speak up by, like, throwing a weapon at my face or something. I'll catch it, promise. Ready, Neko?"
I am set to intervene when necessary.
"AWRIGHT! I give you, young, pretty-eyed mute, the Birthright of Nyan! …that's an awesome name."
N
"Our story starts about three years ago, where a younger, completely oblivious Nyan was about to go through the most stressful time of her day…WAKING UP."
The horror.
"Time to wake up, Lady Nyan!"
"…*ssSNORE*…"
"Hey, wake up, Lady Nyan!"
"…*sssSSSNOOOOOOOOOORRRRE*…."
"…she isn't going to wake up, isn't she?" A chipper young maid with faded blue hair perked. Her skin was pale as ice. Her name was Flora.
"Nope," her pink-haired companion agreed. Her skin was also pale, but with a pleasant peachy sheen. Her name was Felicia.
"eyeryoneshaddup'mslerpin…" the girl in bed mumbled incoherently.
Four servants stood in the room. It was a good-sized room, a large wooden door to the east and a metal-framed window to the west. It was decorated with purple and dark wood furnishings, such as a large, soft rug in the center and a bed with an awkward bulge under its blankets.
"…GIRLS," an older, purple-haired, scar-nosed man barked. "You know what to do."
"Yes, Gunter!" Flora and Felicia chirped as one.
The two maids came to the edge of the bed, laid their hands upon the lump in the sheets that was their lady…
"Clear!"
…and gave her a very sharp, very cold burst of frost magic.
"SWEET BEAVUS!" Lady Nyan yelped as she shot up in bed. She was a young woman of eighteen with wavy, cream-brown hair that reached her chin and a smidge pale complexion; her build was lean, her canines were sharp, and her eyes were a rather odd shade of red. Kind of screams "dragon", doesn't it…? …no…she's a bit too short to be any kind of "dragon" material.
"Patient is responsive!" Flora and Felicia agreed. "Desynchronizing! Thank you for using Maid Awakeners, copyright~!"
She stared wide-eyed at the maids. "Guys…why?"
"Training, Lady Nyan," a man to the side brought up. He stood straight and stiff, his white hair braided tightly down his back, framing a long face with a tranquil smile. He dressed properly, spoke politely, and also had a well-used iron dagger sheathed at his side. "I have taken the liberty of readying your armor, pounding out the dents and such…"
"Stupid Xander."
"His training method is indeed difficult."
"WHAT did you just call Lord Xander?!" the older man known as Gunter snapped.
"UH I mean yea, training with Xander! So much fun and stuff!" Nyan glanced out her room's window. "…at like six AM! On a Monday! The best time to wake up! …hey Jakob, am I using sarcasm right?"
"Properly, but it could use a little bit of work, my lady," the man nodded.
Gunter shot him a glare. "DON'T encourage her! She uses it about as well as she uses CLUBS! She's TEEERRIBLE at CLUBS!"
"Hey, that rack was meant to be broken!"
"It really WASN'T, Lady Nyan," Gunter deadpanned. "Now get your SCRAWNY GIRLY ARSE ready for TRAINING! Xander awaits on the roof!"
"Why the roof?" she perked, her eyes narrowing.
"…I DON'T KNOW! Get ready."
Gunter left the room, leaving the lady with her servants.
"Peh. Grouch," Nyan muttered, sliding out of bed. "…aw man! Now my feet are colder than my side…! Who's idea was it to build a castle made of stone in perpetually-winter woods, anyway?"
"You really should stop questioning these things, nothing good comes of it," Jakob mentioned, opening the room's closet to reveal a set of white armor.
"What, logic?"
"Yes, logic."
"Why not question it?"
"Because that's how we are here in Nohr, my lady."
"Ugh…I don't like Nohr…perpetual darkness, rules against questioning logic, cold stone floors because we have stone castles in perpetually-winter woods…" she grumbled, shuffling out of bed and to the closet.
"That's pretty much just here, lady Nyan!" Flora perked.
"Yes!" Felicia agreed. "The rest of Nohr rivals Hoshido in beauty!"
"Hoshido," Nyan hummed. "Kind of reminds me of the dream I had last night! …because it was about Hoshido."
"Oh?"
"Yea, there was this big grassy battlefield and Xander and some guy in red were fighting then Camellia and Leo and Elise were there, along with some redheads, I dunno," she rambled. "There was a lot of tension at the end. Something about choosing a side. I didn't pay enough attention. ...but I should probably stop eating raw pig meat before bed."
"You would have picked Nohr's side, anyways," Flora shrugged.
"Yea, nobody sides with Hoshidians."
"DID SOMEONE SAY 'HOSHIDIANS'?!" Gunter's voice boomed.
"You've done it now, Felicia!" Flora yelped.
"Did what? Did what?!" Felicia shrieked, panicked.
Jakob whipped around. "Run. Run and don't look back. Run, Felicia. RUN," he commanded, looking panicked himself.
Felicia ran to the window, shoved it open, and jumped out. Jakob slid over to Nyan, took her by the shoulders, and pulled her out of the center of the room. Flora screamed to Felicia the warranty of the Maid Awakeners, copyright.
Not a few seconds later, an angry mob of twenty-five or so Nohr soldiers lead by Gunter broke down the door, stampeded through the room, and crashed through the window after her. War cries followed them down.
After the dust had settled, Nyan and Jakob stood in a half-wrecked bedroom, Nyan pressing her lips together, Jakob looking tired; Flora was collapsed on the ground, sobbing.
"Goodbye, Felicia," Jakob stated.
"…I hate Nohr," Nyan mentioned.
"We all do," Jakob agreed.
N
Fifteen minutes and a brutal maid murder later, Nyan stood upon the roof of the winter castle.
She was garbed in her white armor, which gleamed in the morning sun; it fit her body perfectly, from her ankles to her collarbone, sporting dark gray accents and hints of gold on the edges. Bits of black clothing could be seen in its empty spots, and a royal blue cape was fastened overtop it with a gold brooch. She wore absolutely nothing over her feet and held a somewhat oversized sword in hand.
And she would have totally rocked the whole look had she not posed and screamed "COME AT ME, BRO!" to her opponent. She lifted the sword and held it at an angle near her head like it was a lance.
"Why do you insist on shouting that childish call?" the man on horseback deadpanned. He wore black and purple armor, with long, blonde, wavy hair; his jawline was sharp and his eyes were sharper.
"Because you ma bro, Xand! SO COME AT ME, BRO!" Nyan called.
"My name is Xander."
"I know bro! Fight me for it, bro! BRO! BROOOO—"
CLANG! CLASH! WHAP! CLANG!
"—OOOOO you're good Xander."
Nyan was now sprawled on the ground, any chance at being majestic lost to the cold winter wind as her limbs were spread at all angles.
"Giving up so son, Nyan? I expect more of you," Xander chuffed. "You are a princess of Nohr! Pick up your sword and try again."
"I don't want to."
"…what?"
"Meh," Nyan shrugged, staring up at the sky. "It's cold and I'm cold and I just realized how nice the sky looks…and I hate fighting you in the morning in general."
"If you don't fight me right now you're never leaving this fortress."
"…never?"
"Never."
"But…I wanna leave the fortress," she murmured, sitting up and staring up at her brother like a dog to a possibly sympathetic human. Her red eyes were wide and shining.
"You won't until you fight me," he stated. "If you would see the outside world beyond the view from your window, defeat me. Prove that all of the time I've devoted to training you has not been in vain!"
"OKAY BRO."
"And stop calling me 'bro'! Now, the first move is yours, Nyan. Come at me when you are ready."
Nyan got to her bare feet, picked up her sword, and glared up at Xander. She gained a small grin one of her canines popping over her lip. The rising sun watched them both. The cold wind carried the scent of their determination.
"…imma wreck you, bro."
"I am not your 'bro', I am your brother. Two syllables. Bro-ther."
"Okay bro."
"I am not—!"
Nyan rushed at him with a battle cry of "I'M COMMIN' AT YOU BROOO!". She swung the sword fiercly but could only manage to hit Xander's mount and his legs in her attacks.
He scoffed and swatted her away with the flat of his sword, sending her flying a good few tiles back.
"OW! Ow…why the heck do you have a horse in this fight, anyway…? How'd you get it up here…?!"
"Nevermind that," he stated. "..hmm, looks like that wound needs attention. In that case…"
Xander lead his horse to a certain spot on the roof. This spot bore a green glow on the floor, strands of loosely-weaved light trailing from it.
Stepping on it sent a calm, piano-note-like chime through the air. A patch of white light raced across the ground and appeared near Nyan.
"Cool, a dragon vein!" Nyan chirped, scrambling to the light. Her bruises glowed and mended themselves.
"Yes. You should have sensed it as well. The blood of dragons flows in your veins, as it does in all royals. You must learn to harness this draconic power wherever you may—"
"LET YOUR GUARD DOWN BRO IMMA BEAT YOU NOW!"
"DRAGON DAM IT, NYAN!"
Nyan leapt off the ground and, instead of using the decently sharp sword in her hand, lashed out with her foot.
WHACK!
Xander was sent off his mouth with the kick to the jaw. "Ugh—! You and your bare feet…!"
"What can I say man, I HATE SHOES!" Nyan squawked, springing off Xander's horse and swinging down her sword. "HaaAAAAAA!"
The sword stabbed right next to Xander's side, barely missing his chest. He looked up with slight surprise.
"...I totally meant to hit there!" she stated. "But hey, you know what else I hate? Clunky armor! And horse-mounted fighters! And fat swords! And—…you're actually really short when you're not on a horse."
"Sh—shut up! I am not short! I..." Xander pressed his hand to his temple and took a deep, long breath. "…you know what? That's enough training for today."
"Oh, really? Awesome!"
N
"Well done, Nyan. You're getting stronger…and harder to manage…every day."
"Thanks, Xander!" Nyan chirped, smiling at him. "I couldn't have done it without your ridiculously one-sided fights and awkward training schedule that I hate!"
The pair of siblings stood off from where they had been training, Xander off his horse, Nyan with her arms against her sides. Xander's horse stood a safe distance away, eyeing Nyan cautiously.
"I disagree. Training at six AM on a rooftop is the only way to go," Xander stated. "But I do believe you have natural talent. Someday, you could be the greatest warrior in all of Nohr. If you could focus for more than five freaking minutes on going for it.
"Oh stop it, you," Nyan said, pawing a hand at him. "…also I'm more of a pacifist."
"No you're not."
"Okay yea but when it comes to it I'm not killing anybody. It's nasty and mean."
"Typical," a third voice chuffed from the other side of the roof. "You know that true strength is more than simple swordplay, right?"
"HEY LEO!" Nyan shouted.
A young man with platinum blonde hair approached the two. He was a bit shorter than Xander and a bit scrawnier than Nyan; his eyes were dark and gleamed with an equally dark sort of knowledge, however. He wore an odd set of gold-decorated dark armor, complete with a metal skirt and ridiculously tall collar.
"Calm yourself, little brother. You really are competitive to a fault," Xander huffed. "As I've always said, you're a talented mage with formidable magical abilities."
"Hmm," Leo hummed flatly. "Well, just remember that pointy metal sticks are not the only path to power."
The three stood in silence for a bit. Nyan stared intently at Leo's neck and refused to meet his eyes.
"…what?" he finally snapped at her.
"You've got an inside-out collar there, broseph," she mentioned, pointing to it.
"What?!" he yelped.
"It would appear someone got dressed while half asleep…fancy boy," Xander stated, smirking.
"MY STYLE OF DRESS IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN! SHUT UP!" Leo shouted on his way to the closest mirror.
"HAHAHAHAHA…aaah, haha…when's he gonna grow out of that stage?" Nyan perked.
"When the boy feels like it," Xander shrugged.
"Ah, good."
A pair of girls came up the stairs; one young and short, with long blonde hair wrapped in two knee-length pigtails; the other older and taller, with curled purple hair and a very generous bust. …very generous.
"Are you alright, Nyan? Did you get hurt at all during practice?" the older girl purred, smiling softly.
"Nah I'm fine sis—"
"If you did, let me know right away so I can take extra-special care of you…"
"Uh—"
"Extra-special care…"
"Camilla I'm oka—"
"Extra-special care…" she whispered, coming into uncomfortably close proximity to Nyan. She looked with soft, warm eyes at the young girl, who squirmed and considered following Felicia's way of escaping nearby Nohrians.
"I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU TOO, NYAN!" the younger girl squawked, pulling Nyan to her and clutching her hands tightly.
"I know you were Elise—"
"That's why I visited!"
"Yea uh—"
"Heehee! Do you like it when I visit?"
"Uh—"
"Do you?!"
"Wh—"
"NOTICE ME SENPAI!"
"OF COURSE!" Nyan yelped. "I'm pretty much condemned here for no well-explained reason, so visitors like you guys, ma sissies and bros, are awesome! And stuff!"
"Yaaay!" Elise laughed shrilly. "I'm glad to hear that! Spending time with the only sibling that every notices me makes me so happy! SPIN ME SENPAI" She threw herself onto Nyan, Nyan compromising by spinning her.
"Hahahahathefeelingisn'tmutualhaha!" Nyan laughed, smiling awkwardly as Elise spewed things about loving her.
"Elise, when do you intend to behave like the adult that you technically are?" Leo groaned, frowning at the scene.
"Well, I for one think her cheer is a good complement to this gloomy kingdom, Leo," Camilla hummed.
"Yes—"
"Gloomy…"
"Uh—"
"Ever so gloomy…such a dark and mysterious place…" she murmured, leaning in on Leo.
Leo blushed richly at the sight almost right in front of his eyes. "She'smysistershe'smysistershe'smysistershe'smysistershe'smysister…"
Nyan finally got the chance set Elise down, who stuck to her side like a barnacle on a rock. "Uh…well said, Camilla! Every one of you is…so dear to me, and I don't mind being stuck in a winter castle in the middle of butt-duck nowhere when I get visits from all of you! I haven't thought of jumping over the wall at all! Certainly not every time I see you guys!"
"We are grateful to have you as well. But, Nyan, I have some—"
Camilla shoved into Xander. He glanced away with a blush just as thick as Leo's.
"Oh, let me tell her, Xander!" she gasped. "We have wonderful news, Nyan! Father asked us to take you back to the capital!"
Nyan gasped loudly. "Does that mean…?!"
"Yes. It means you can finally leave this drafty fortress. You must have been so lonely all this time, separated from the rest of the world…! It gives me shivers to think about…" Camilla purred.
"Isn't that WONDERFUL?! You can be with me forever! FOREVER!" Elise laughed.
Nyan stared blankly.
"…Nyan?"
"..."
"Nyan, dear?"
I…I can leave. I won't be stuck to this castle anymore. I can get away from this place. Feel light and warmth and joy.
"Sister?"
I can meet other people besides the servants and my sisters.
"…sis—"
I can potentially meet some pretty boys. "I…I…! MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED! I'M GETTING AWAY! YES! YEEEEESS! YEEEEESSSSS!" Nyan screamed, throwing her fists into the air and running right through her siblings. She kept running across the roof, feeling the wind in her face, laughing the whole time and leaving her bewildered siblings behind. "YYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!"
In fact, she went running all the way downstairs, completely ignoring their questioning gazes.
"…I thought she had more class," Leo stated.
"Well, she is very happy to leave here…" Camilla hummed.
"I…suppose," Xander muttered.
"Soooo happy…"
"…uh…"
"So very, very happy…"
"Camilla if you don't mind—"
"Make out with me, Xander."
"EVERYBODY NOTICE ME!" Elise shouted.
N
The four siblings waited in the main hall for Nyan to return, as advised by a maid who knew the girl's "run everywhere when excited then return to the hall to survey the damage" routine. Eventually, Nyan came limping in, a maid at her side.
The maid herself was slightly dusty, a few strands of hay sticking out from her bonet; she bore a long length of beautiful, braided, ocean blue hair that faded to a rich red at the end over her shoulder. She was a bit short, a bit pale, and had a red mark in the center of her face. Perfectly normal maid. Normal. Completely normal. NOTHING UNUSUAL HERE—
"Nyan, what did you do?" Xander grumbled.
"Oh hi bro! I did a twirl in one of the tiny hallways without realizing my heel was both unguarded and about to hit stone," Nyan laughed. "And now I have a sprained ankle. It's really painfu—"
Xander made a pained cutting motion to his neck as Camilla, who was still stuck to his arm, perked up.
"—I MEAN it's not painful at all and I don't need ANY extra-special care. Lilith here has me covered," she coughed. "…also her chest doesn't swallow me whole when she helps me out."
"You and your quips, Nyan," Lilith said, smiling softly. "Well…I hear you can finally leave the fortress."
"Where did you hear?" Leo huffed.
"From her joyous screams of praising the dusk dragon before her foot made contact with the wall."
"HAHA! Joyous. That's a fun word," Nyan chirped.
"…did her head make contact with that wall at any point?" Leo grumbled.
"Gunter has asked me to go with you to the capital so I can look after your horses," Lilith explained.
"Awesome!" Nyan cheered.
"Yes, I know!" Lilith giggled.
The pair laughed awkwardly for a bit before Nyan leaned into her support and whispered. "…Lilith, I am so glad, I don't think I can handle both Camilla and Elise without an emergency distraction. I owe you one pearl-girl."
"I've got you covered fang-girl," Lilith whispered back, a knowing gleam in her eye.
"What was that?" Xander questioned.
"Nothing," they simultaneously said.
"…alright then. Lilith, are the horses ready?" Xander huffed, stepping to the girl. He was, surprisingly, only a bit taller than her. Not so high and mighty without a horse.
"Yes, milord. Everything is ready and the horses seem excited for the trip. They are all very fond of Lady Nyan. Probably from all her time in the stables…" Lilith hushed.
"NYAN! I thought you had class! What kind of noble spends time in stables?" Leo growled.
"LEO! I thought you were a dude! What kind of dude wears a skirt made of metal armor all the time?!" Nyan shouted back.
"…HOW I DRESS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
"Our Nyan does love animals. Such a kindhearted, sweet, young soul…" Camilla swooned. "Why, she even nursed an injured baby bird back to health one time…!"
Lilith flinched.
"Who had its wings torn to shreds and bites all over its soft little body…!"
Lilith cringed.
"And the stink of fox saturated into its feathers, as it cried out in weak, tiered shrieks, blood pooling around it—"
"Let's stop talking about the baby bird that nearly died," Lilith stated.
"If you insist…and you do insist…"
Suddenly, Elise popped up between Nyan and Lilith. "HEY LILITH! I bet you're sad 'cause you won't have Nyan all to yourself anymore. You've always been especially fond of our sister, haven't you, Lilith?"
"I, er—"
"Haven't you?"
"Er—"
"HAVEN'T YOU YOU LITTLE SENPAI-STEALING BAKA?! YOU WILL NEVER TAKE MY SENPAI! BAKA! BAKAAAA!" Elise snarled, suctioning to Nyan's side and giving Lilith a toothy frown.
The maid backed up, her hands in the air. Nyan stared blankly with pursed lips.
"As GRIPPING as this all is," Xander growled, shaking his generous sister off his shoulder, "we should be on our way. We mustn't keep father waiting."
"Is 'mustn't' a word?"
"Shut up, Nyan."
"Alright, bro, jeez! Anyway, let's head off! ~OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE PERPETUALLY-WINTER WOODS, TO THE MAIN CAPITAL WE GOOO~!" Nyan sang, throwing Elise off and skipping towards the front of the fortress. A bit awkwardly. But very happily.
Gunter stomped in, his sword smelling of blood. He overshadowed Flora and Jakob, who stood behind him with meek smiles and a barely noticeable sheen of nervous sweat. "FLORA!" he barked. "You and Felicia's corpse will remain here to watch over the fortress. Jakob and I will ACCOMPANY Lady Nyan! We may be gone for some time. TAKE GOOD CARE OF THIS PLACE."
"Yes sir," Flora bowed.
"NO HOSHIDIANS."
"Y-yes sir."
"And clean up Felicia, will you?!"
"Yes…sir…"
"Ooo, wait, Jakob's coming?" Nyan chirped, leaning back into the conversation.
"Yes, he's your butler, of course he is," Gunter growled.
Nyan smiled, a gleam in her eyes. Thank dusk dragon! The only Nohrian I can share thoughts about Hoshidians with! All the others just want to attack me.
Jakob bore a similar expression. Thank dusk dragon…! The only Nohrian noble that sees me as more than a laboring machine! …also the only one that will eat raw meat without a second thought. …there's something off about that girl…
"Awesome! NOW, ONWARDS! We ride in five minutes!" Nyan declared as the group headed towards the door.
"I get shotgun!" Leo claimed.
"I'm riding next to Nyan!" Elise demanded.
"No fair, that's my claim," Camilla groaned.
"You'll choke her with your existence! SENPAI IS MINE!" Elise snarled.
"Will ALL OF YOU please SHUT UP?!" Xander shouted.
"As soon as you get a couple inches, 'big' brother!" Leo laughed.
"You laugh now Leo, but you'll be twenty five and half a foot too short too, and who will be laughing then?! ...nobody, that's who! Because of these damed genetics!"
As they bickered, Jakob and Lilith slipped to Nyan's side.
"I'm backing you up, fang-girl," Lilith whispered. "Elise scared me once, I won't allow it again."
"Never fear, my lady, for if Camilla attempts to suffocate you, I will not hesitate to split you two apart," Jakob added.
"Thank you so much you guys oh my gosh I can't live without either of you," Nyan gasped, glancing between them with wide, slightly scared eyes. "I don't even know how I'm related to those clingy, tall, blonde-and-one-purple-haired, busty, muscular suckers."
And then a thought crossed her mind.
Jakob and Lilith spotted it before Nyan herself could speak it. They kept near her with building worry as she eventually stopped walking and let the other Nohr royals walked by. Gunter shot the trio a confused look but kept going.
Oh no, she's noticed that oddity as well, they thought simultaneously.
Eventually, Nyan spoke the largest logic question of the day.
"…how am I, a cream-brunette-ish, red-eyed, just about figureless, lean, kinda short girl related to any blonde, tall, busty, muscular, or purple-haired people?"
"…well—…uh—" Jakob stuttered.
"Nyan, just because you don't look…remotely like them at all…and don't act like them…and don't fight like them…and hate darkness…doesn't mean…well, er…" Lilith mumbled.
Nyan stared blankly. She frowned. Then she frowned deeply, pursed her lip, and lowered her eyes. "Something ain't right here."
"Perhaps you had a different mother…? That is what I always figured, anyways," Jakob mentioned.
"I guess…but still…" she hummed. Her smile returned as soon as it had left. "You know what? I'm gonna let it fly for now! I'm leaving this castle, and nothing outside maybe the start of a war can ruin it! Let's go, men and women!"
"There's just one man and one woman with you, Nyan."
"LET'S GO!"
N
"And then my entire life was torn apart at the seams."
I don't think it was so drastic, Nyan.
"Eh. It was close. Destiny started tearing it apart at the seams. Like a couple fat cuts of cake to a particularly tight-fitting dress. But ya know what? Cake is good for you! Gives you calories for your body!"
Not many girls would say that.
"I have a high metabolism because of my super awesome high-powered special side."
Don't you mean your—
"SSSHHH…don't say what it is…the mute doesn't know about it…!"
Wh—they're not mute! Nothing has come along that can confirm or deny that! …ugh…anyways…stay with us for a while longer, brave stranger, and we can finish this tale of odd families and clashes…
"…I'm hungry. Hey Neko, want some raw meat?"
…uh…I shall pass.
"Aw, c'mon! Raw meat is good for you! The salmonella really builds up your immune system."