Las Ouran~

Written By: Heeeyyyyy! Underlined ish me! (Hana Ninjacats Harribel) And who else writes in italics? Yup MEEE~ Amaterasu Ai^^ Yup, we're BOTH writing a fic together!

Characters: Featuri- Okay, we've got Tamaki, Haruhi, and the twins from Ouran~! ^-^ *steals keyboard from her hands* DON'T INTERUPT ME WHEN I'M TYPING. And from Bleach, we have Ulquiorra Cifer, Tia Harrib- MY BIG SISTA! :D …-_-" … -el…and Szayel Aporro Granz, or as I like to call him SAG! XD I call him Pinky… ^^

Disclaimer: We don't own Bleach (Tite Kubo does) and we don't own Ouran High School Host Club either…( the genius whose name I forgot wrote it. ^^ )

Summary: Aizen has ordered Tia, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, and Szayel to go into the Living World and go to school. Stealing his credit card, Tia, with the help of Tamaki, enrolls them into Ouran High School. Of COURSE, the boys get dragged into the Host Club. This will NOT end pretty…

Now my half of the summary: The Host club is enjoying a normal day of cleaning up after the last customer leaves, when new students literately fall from the sky and crash through the ceiling. Well, Tamaki thinks that they're pretty special. Falling from the sky and stuff…so he helps them out and gets them enrolled. Since his dad's like, the headmaster and junk…

~T~

"Goodbye, Meiru-chan! See you on Monday!" Haruhi yells. It's so cute how proper she is, staying by the door whenever we close, and saying goodbye to every single customer.

"Hey Tono, are you spying on Haruhi again?" The twins say. Dang…caught…they point at each other. "You know what happened last time you spied on her. Man, that got reeaaaallll ugly…"

I get up from my hiding spot behind the couch and straighten my jacket. "Just shut up…" I say, walking away.

They don't know what it's like to truly be in love with someone you can't date. People would think I was gay…

~U~

"GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT?" screamed Grimmjow as he fell through the sky. We all looked over at him, not really expecting something significant. "I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!" We all rolled our eyes and air-swam away from the airplane headed our way. Trashy cat who just choked on some random insect that flew into his mouth…

(For those of you who don't watch Bleach, I'll fit in a description of the four) Let me introduce myself to you trashy readers. I am Ulquiorra Cifer. My appearance, according to Grimmjow, is 'freakishly white'. I am pale, green eyed and black haired.

Grimmjow is light blue haired and blue eyed. He isn't pale and he has an annoying habit of wearing his jacket open, showing off his scar. Szayel Aporro is pink haired, orange eyed, and wears glasses, and Tia is blonde, light green eyed, and probably will give half the male population a nosebleed if she were to put on a bathing suit.

If you want to know what we look like (or more detail) do what everyone in your modern world would do. Look us up on Google Images.

For now, we are falling towards some huge and strange looking building…

~K~

I was just doing my cleaning duties after club ended, my brother on the other side of the room. Then the ceiling crashes in and there's dust everywhere. I fell back from some random force.

"Kaoru! Kaoru! Where'd you go? KAORU!" My twin yells, running through the dust to find me. I feel an arm wrap around my waist and a hand holding up my head.

"Are you okay, Kaoru? That was a pretty big crash…I wonder what caused the ceiling to give like that…" My older Twin is talking a little too fast for me to understand.

"What'd you say?" I ask, trying to sit up. I think I sprain my wrist…the dust clears a little and he sees me struggling.

"Kaoru! You're hurt!" He leaves my head and back to support themselves and gets on his knees to check out my wrist.

"It's just a sprain, Hikaru. I'm fine. The real question is if you're okay." I reply. We're pretty close right now. And I don't mean emotionally, I mean he's so close that I can smell his strawberry shampoo.

"Um…guys…stop with the yaoi…we have visitors…" Haruhi says, appearing behind us and pointing to a random new pile of blonde, blue…pale, and pink…

"What the…?" We say simultaneously. It's a twin thing…

"Where the hell are we NOW, smartass?" Asked the blue haired guy as he smacked the pink haired lady-man.

Well, Tamaki just HAS to be the center of ALL attention, and so he approaches the new scary-looking people. He's such an idiot…

"Where do you come from, commoners? You don't look like you're from here…" He says. Yup, Tamaki has such a big mouth. Next thing we know the blonde girl and the pink-haired guy-lady is holding the blue-haired person back…

~H~

"Excuse our friend, but he has anger issues. Let me introduce myself. I am Szayel Aporro Granz," said Szayel as he sent a mini cero to the back of Grimmjow's head, knocking him out. "Oh dear…it seems our friend is feeling unwell. Will you give us a place to stay for a while?"

The group looked like they were about to say no. Now, I've had to deal with a bunch of idiots all day so I will NOT take no for an answer.

"Listen," I started, "Just give us a place to stay if you don't want to die."

"Well," the blonde says, scratching the back of his head, "How can we say no to that…?" I seemed to have scared him a bit, and maybe scarred him emotionally…Oh well, we are Arrancar, we don't care, we kill stuff (well, most of us do)

"Thank you," I say half heartedly. We just stood there awkwardly for a while.

Taking a look around, I see…two people who look alike and also looking quite gay on the ground…and a girl standing over them, trying to break them up…smart… I just wonder why she's in a boy uniform…

The blonde person was just standing there, looking a bit pale. So I tried to lighten the mood.

"Um…so…oh boy, why don't you give us a tour of this lovely place…?" I suggested awkwardly. Szayel and Ulquiorra glanced over to the closed door.

"I agree, Halibel, Grimmjow is getting quite heavy, do you gentlemen happen to have a cart I could push him in…?"

~H~

"Looks like Tono is drooling over the new girl" I whisper to Kaoru, who's cradling his wrist in the brace I found him. Yeah, we have a closet full of random stuff that nobody else knows of. Pretty cool, huh?

"He sure got over Haruhi quickly…" He whispers, glancing at the emo-looking guy, who seems to be staring at us. Maybe it's because I insisted I carry Kaoru…nah, I bet he's staring at Tamaki, who's a few feet away from us. He starts to approach us. Maybe not then…

"Trash, just show us where we will stay for the night." What? Who's he calling trash? After a moment of silence, he seemed to frown a bit more… "Are you deaf? I am talking to you, trash, where will we sleep tonight?"

We point to each other…kind of, I have to nod my head down at Kaoru. "You better be calling him trash." We both say.

"No, not you, but you do seem trashy, I was talking to the other trashy one." He says. We point to ourselves.

"Me?" We ask simultaneously.

~G~

I woke up to see Szayel sprawled out half on top of me.

"Dude, I'm not gay," I mutter as I shove him off of the bed. He let out a quiet OOF before climbing back into bed. I looked around to see two beds in the room. Halibel had one all to herself, Ulquiorra was on the couch, and I had to share with Pinky-Mc-Gay-Face.

"Shut up and scoot over," he mumbled as he just flopped back down under the blankets.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small figure crouched down by the couch. Ulquiorra was asleep, so he wouldn't do anything, so I guess it's all up to me. Sure, Szayel's awake, but he's already going back to sleep…and currently drooling on his pillow…gross…

"INTRUDER~!" I yelled as I jumped out of bed and pounced. I heard a squeal as a taller figure stood up and jumped. The lights were turned on by Halibel.

The next few things happened in slow motion to me. Halibel yelling "WHAT THE HELL?" Szayel snoring, Ulquiorra sitting up, half asleep, looking like a zombie, and that blonde guy launching himself from that brown girl's side and knocking me out with a frying pan.

~H~

"TAMAKIIIIII! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO BRING THE FRYING PAN!" I yell.

"But Haruhiiiiii!" He whines. "We needed SOME type of protection! Didn't you see that guy, he was trying to pounce on you like a cat! Daddy can't let that happen!"

He leans closer. "He could be a potential rapist!" He whispers in my ear. I grab the frying pan from him and slam it into his chest.

"Riiiiiggghhht…that's sooooo possible…" I reply, watching him fall down on the ground dramatically. Such a drama queen…

"What were you doing, onna?" asked the pale guy.

"We heard from the twins that you guys were evil : 3" Tamaki tells him. I slap my forehead and shake my head in my hands.

Pale Guy and his opposite (since she's a she and blonde and tan) glanced at each other. "What makes you think that?" asked Tia (the blonde lady)

"Well, the twins are devious and for some reason, they always know things. What type of guy are you, pale-y one?" Tamaki asks. He has such a big mouth…

"…pale-y…?" He ignored that. "Um…it seems that my 'comrades' describe me as emo…"

"So you're the emo/mysterious type. Girls like that. What types are the other two?" Tamaki asks him. He really doesn't know when to shut his trap…I swear I'm about to take the frying pan from him again and whack him into next week.

"…Really? The girls at where we come from hate me…" said Pale-y. Tia glanced at him.

"Um…Szayel is the scientist and Grimmjow…he's…what you might call the badass one…or just bad…but I think his ass is probably bad too…" said Tia.

Tamaki's just staring at them. "Ugh, come on Tamaki, time to go." I say, grabbing him by the collar and dragging him to the door. He's heavier than I thought…

"Bai bai : 3" Tamaki says, waving to them. Well they're not evil…

"…Good night…" replied Tia. Pale One just stayed silent and lay back down.

~S~ The next morning…

"I had a wonderful sleep last night! That bed is downright comfy!" I declared at the breakfast table. Everyone looked so exhausted… "Why are you all so down in the dumps? Ulquiorra, even YOU seem down today!"

"You're not the one who slept on the floor," muttered Grimmjow.

"You also didn't almost get attacked by a frying pan in the middle of the night…twice…" said Ulquiorra in his monotone.

"…I slept just fine…" said Tia.

"Good morning my new guests~!" Tamaki says, busting through the double doors, "I have some good news for all of you~! Accept for Tia, sorry, but you're a girl."

"Wonderful, more good news!" I flashed everyone a smile. Tia looked like she would murder the man if he said the wrong thing. "So, what is this good news, Tamaki-san?"

"You three men are joining the Host Club to pay back for your stay. And Tia, I've enrolled you in classes, and hope to see you in the Host Club by noon. You have the same classes as Haruhi! And boys, your training starts in a half hour, I've got you enrolled in classes too, but I had my dad get us the day off so I can teach you to be proper gentlemen." He says. He talks a lot…

~T~

"I'm so proud of them." I say to my customers as they peek over the back of the couch at our new hosts.

"They look so…foreign…" A blonde girl says.

"Yes, we don't know where they came from, but they still have the makings of proper men." I say.

"So you have a nerdy one, a badass one, and an emo/mysterious type now?" a brunette asks me.

"Yes, for the time being. We don't know how long they'll have to stay." I reply.

"I hope we don't stay long," scowled Badass One as he passed by. Another random girl tapped on his shoulder.

"Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping you could stay longer… We would certainly try and make your stay more pleasant," she said with a smile.

Grimmjow grinned deviously as he turned around. "Have you ever done it in a closet?" he glanced at the coatroom. The girl slaps him and stomps away after yelling "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

"…He'll need some more work…" I tell my terrified girls. "Don't worry, it's just some inside joke of his." I grin nervously.

Well, he just probably wants to make my life miserable, so he said, "Not really, I meant what I said…"

He's gonna need a lot more work than I thought he would.

~U~

"So, do you have any hobbies, Ulquiorra-kun?" asked the girl in front of me.

"…No…" I was going to point out that she should at LEAST call me Ulquiorra-SAN, but I dismissed it.

"…So…what do you like to do…?" she asked as she took a sip of tea.

"…I usually take walks during the day to pass the time…" I tried the tea and it tasted horrible compared to the ones I usually drink. Even though I don't see how it's made because we have no water in Hueco Mundo… Swallowing the tea, I stood up and decided to excuse myself so I could go use the toilet.

I didn't really need to go, I just wanted to get away from the girl.

~K~

"But…Hikaru…" I say turning my head to the side and then back again. "I thought we promised not to do this anymore…"

We are currently sprawled out on the ground, Hikaru sitting above me, cradling me in his arms. Our faces are only about half an inch away. Typical twin moment. Then that stupid Szayel-man-lady comes by and pushes Hikaru's face into mine, so we're actually KISSING lip-to-lip for the first time.

But of course, we have to keep kissing and "enjoy it" when the fangirls are fainting and cheering like crazy and man-lady is yelling "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CALLING ME GAY!"

But when he saw that we were actually enjoying it, he just groaned and stormed over to Tamaki.(AN: notice how I didn't put quotations around "enjoying it" this time ^^ yup. I am implying that they are enjoying it and therefore, kind of making them "gay incest")

We were fully out making out when Tamaki came over to break us up. Then he saw how much popularity we were getting, shrugged, and walked away.

And so I had to sit on Hikaru's lap for the rest of the time.

END CHAPTER

Okay, we're going to add a chapter 2 later, kay? We're just ending now because A is feeling really tired and blah, blah, blah. Me, I'm nocturnal pretty much ^-^.

*yawn* Let me say this now, but I write what all the Bleach characters say and do while Hana-chan is writing what the Ouran characters say and do. Dang, I'm tired, so good night, minna-chan. Say good night, Hana.

GOOD NIGHT!

…wait…was that a little loud? ^^" oops…

…So..what do you think? Please review…

~Amaterasu Ai

Srry for any conffuzling, if there was any. And yes, I am the one who made the twins make out XD if ur wondering, I'm the one that watches Ouran, and A watches Bleach. So ya…I might as well sign off, cuz I forgot what else I wanted to say. Oh well…oh, and Axel-kun, if you read this, don't try to explode on ur commet on the incest, kay? And I'm still ur innocent little sister, I've just always wanted to make the twins do that for some reason. It seemed like it just needed to happen. And if you still disagree, remember that there are A LOT of fangirls that'll back me up.

~Hana