Title: Therapeutics of Dream Analysis
Author: AllVowels
Rating: PG
Summary: Based on a prompt from Crittab. Jeff has a dream in which all of the study group members switch personalities (except him).
AN: Warning, this may be a little OOC. Just a little. ;)
Jeff stared down at his phone as he made his way slowly down the hall. He was on his way to the study room. The group needed to cram for the upcoming Spanish test. He needed to study all he could in order to pass the next test. Or sit behind Annie and peek at her paper. Yeah, he was going with Plan Annie.
"Jeff!" A voice squeaked out from down the hall causing Jeff to pause.
"Huh?" He grunted, while swiveling his head to look at Troy.
"What's up?"
"Um," Troy trailed off uncertainly. He looked down before blurting out, "I was just wondering if you'd like to go to a movie later?"
"Sure, what do you and Abed plan on seeing, the new Batman movie?"
Troy's eyes widened slightly while fluttering without ever closing and gave Jeff a doe like expression, "Why would Abed go with us?"
Jeff finally gave his full attention to Troy. Something was off about him. He was dressed in slacks, a button down shirt and a cardigan slung around his shoulders. He looked down right preppy. Used to the oddness that came with being friends with the study group, Jeff decided to ignore it.
"Do you have something in your eye?"
"No, why?"
"Because your eye keeps twitching weirdly. Like when Annie wants something."
"Oh." A blush stained Troy's cheeks and he frowned slightly, "Maybe it's an eyelash. Anyways why do you think I'd be with Abed?"
"Maybe because you are glued to each other's hip?"
Troy gave an uncomfortable laugh, "Me and Abed? Nope. We are just you know… study group partners. Not partners partners but… Well you know what I mean."
"Okay…" He said uncertainly glancing over his shoulder to look for Abed and his video camera.
"So you and I are going to a movie? Together? Alone?"
"Sure. If that's what you want."
Troy beamed up at Jeff before pulling on the straps of his ridiculously large back pack, "Great! Oh no! We are late to study group! This is going to throw my whole schedule off. I'll just have to rearrange the bathroom breaks to make up for it."
Troy bustled down the hall determinedly before glancing back at Jeff, "Are you coming? It is bad form to be late."
Troy and Jeff entered the room to see Abed, Shirley, Britta and Pierce already there. Troy quickly sat down and begun pulling notebooks and binders out of his back pack. He turned to the group and smiled.
"Today we are going to go over the checklists from chapters 5 through 7 to prepare for the test tomorrow."
The rest of the group groaned, but dutifully got out their books at Troy's urging.
"Aren't we going to wait for Annie?"
"Jeff-rey, don't be silly. Only God knows what sinful things that girl is doing." Britta lilted.
"Yea she's probably lezzing out… Cause she's a lesbo. As in she likes the lady parts."
"Shirley!" Britta gasped.
Jeff leaned forward, "Annie is not gay."
"Of course you'd vouch for one of your own," Shirley countered.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"The hair, the clothes, the man-scaping. It all adds up to one thing. Jeff is gayer than 2 Mormon missionaries."
Abed snickered, "Missionary."
Shirley let out a loud cackle, "I almost missed that one."
"What the hell Shirley?" Jeff asked incredulously, before noticing the rest of the group seemed immune to Shirley's odd behavior.
Jeff didn't not have time to analyze this further before Annie came strutting in wearing skinny jeans, knee high boots and a leather jacket.
"Sorry I'm late guys."
Britta admonished Annie, "If you are going to be late you should let someone know. It is disrespectful."
Annie glared back, "Excuse me but I was making a difference in the world. As a psych major I understand the importance of growing up in a stable environment. I was working with people at the Asante Africa Foundation. Did you know that when a family runs out of food in Africa they will sell their daughter for a cow? I don't know who should be more insulted, the girl or the cow! Anyways, that girl is then pulled out of school and becomes a sex slave. We are hoping to provide food and education while liberating the cows and inspiring…"
Annie's diatribe was cut off by the group groaning.
Abed chimed in, "Annie, you are the worst."
Annie glared, "By the worst, if you mean the most awesome."
Pierce tilted his head, "No we mean you are the butt monkey."
Shirley guffawed and Abed's eyes widened, "Are those real? I thought they only existed in my dreams…"
Pierce continued on, "No, the butt monkey is a classic television trope. It is when a character is always the 'butt of the joke,' if you will. Ethel was usually Lucy's butt monkey in the show I Love Lucy."
Abed giggled, "He said it again."
"You know Abed, the most likely reason you are obsessed with the anus region is because you have latent homosexual feelings. As a psych major, I can help you come to terms with your sexuality and embrace it."
Abed looked at Annie confused, "What?"
"Annie! Stop trying to drag Abed down into hell with you. His soul is already questionable enough as it is." Britta cried, "Abed don't listen to her. There is a nice priest at the church who could purge it out of you."
"With what? An exorcism?" Annie called out.
"I do not question what the good men in my church have to do to save souls. I could have them purge your soul too." Britta offered.
"Right, cause that's what I need. A good purging."
"What… Annie, are you calling me gay?" Abed asked confused.
"Why would Annie ever say that?" Pierce said in a flat monotone.
Annie leaned forward and placed her hand on Pierce's. "Remember what we said about inflection and sarcasm?"
"Nooooo. Why would Annie ever say that?" Annie smiled and nodded at him.
Abed sputtered, "I am not gay! I do manly things! Like grow beards and light things on fire. At the same time! Sometimes I even light my beard on fire."
"Annie, if anyone is gay here, it is Jeff. Why don't you get him to accept it?" Shirley asked.
"Because Jeff is way too messed up for me. I'm a psych major not a miracle worker."
"Leave Jeff alone Annie." Troy said taking a formidable stance. The two sized each other up from across the table.
"I can say anything I want, this is a free country… Supposedly."
"Jeff is our friend. He is the reason this group all came together remember?" Troy bit his lip while glancing over Jeff.
"Because he was trying to bang the lesbo. I mean Annie."
All eyes turned to Jeff for his response. He had been listening to his friends for the last few minutes trying to make sense of how they were acting. Annie was Britta, Britta was Shirley, Shirley was Pierce, Pierce was Abed, Abed was Troy and Troy was Annie.
Jeff started to laugh a little hysterically, "Good one guys. Now where is the camera Abed?"
"Why would Abed have a camera?"
"Probably stole it from Pierce. But what can you expect from a dirty Mexican."
"Abed is Arab and Polish. Not Mexican. If you are going to insult him at least get his ethnicity right!" Annie cried.
"Yeah!" Abed called in agreement.
"Same thing. Weird food that makes you sick and crazy Gods."
"Pierce, are you filming us again today?" Troy asked ignoring Shirley's racist comments.
"No, I hadn't envisioned any interesting developments for another two days."
Troy turned towards Jeff and looked at him sweetly, "Jeff, why would you think we are being filmed?"
"Because!" He cried, "It is obvious, isn't it? You've all switched personalities."
Troy looked at him in concern, "Jeff, are you feeling okay?"
"I think he is going through a mental break. Did he have any stressors this week? Run out of his favorite hair gel maybe? The latest bimbo turn him down? Dent in his Lexus?"
Troy gave a small indigent gasp, "Annie, that isn't even funny!"
"I'm not trying to be funny. I read about it in my psychology book."
"And that makes you an expert?"
"Who is the psych major in the room? Oh yes it is Annie for the win." Annie said while raising her arms up in victory. Jeff watched the entire exchange in growing horror.
"What the hell is going on? Am I dreaming?"
"I wouldn't say you are dreaming Jeff. In the Dick Van Dyke Show dream sequences were portrayed by making everything slightly blurred and harp music. We seem to be in Technicolor and I have heard no harps."
Jeff shifted in his chair, "Is this supposed to be teaching me a lesson of some kind? Because if it is, I am not getting it. Would someone mind explaining this to me?"
Troy reached a hand out and placed in on Jeff's. "Maybe you should go home and rest a bit."
"Sweet study group is done for the day." Annie said while waltzing out of the room, the others followed behind, except for Troy.
Troy watched as Jeff's eyes followed Annie's exit, his own growing sad in the process.
"You still have feelings for her don't you?"
Jeff jerked back startled, "What, why would you say that?"
"It is obvious when you look at her. The chemistry between you two is undeniable. I never had a chance did I?" Troy looked at him with hopeful eyes, pleading Jeff to tell him he was wrong.
"Look Troy, you are awesome," Jeff began awkwardly.
"I am?" Troy took this as the green light to move forward and bring their lips together.
Jeff jerked awake, "What the hell was that?"
"You were dreaming." Troy whispered as he peeked over the side of the study room couch. Jeff looked uneasily at him, the image of the two of them about to kiss still fresh in his mind.
"You've been watching me sleep? That's a little creepy Troy."
"It was Abed's idea."
"Usually dreams lead to an epiphany in real life. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Spike has an erotic dream and confesses his love for her. When I saw you here sleeping, I wanted to document the epiphany as it happened."
Jeff sat up and ran a hand through his hair, "Sorry to tell you Abed, but that wasn't a life changing dream, it was just weird."
"Like vegetarian zombies dressed as dinosaur weird? Because I have those dreams ALL the time. I wonder what they mean." Troy pondered out loud.
"No it was just a dream about the study group. But it was back when we were taking Spanish."
Abed stood still and continued to film Jeff, waiting for the moment when his earth shattering realization hit him, but Jeff just sat there awkwardly.
"I'm sorry, but there are no epiphanies today! Why don't you go film the dean? I heard he is cleaning out his costume closet, it would be great for a montage."
Abed tilted his head and studied Jeff for a second more, "Cool. Cool cool cool."
As the duo walked away Jeff heard Troy ask, "Do you think I can try on his Tina Turner costume, I really think I have the legs for it."
Jeff slumped back on to the couch. Could Abed be right? Was the dream supposed to be telling him something?
"Nah, that's ridiculous. Dreams don't always mean something," He said out loud. "But then again, Abed is rarely wrong. What could it mean?" Jeff sat and pondered over what his dream was trying to tell him. Was it that he would care for his friends no matter what? No, that didn't seem right. Shirley was very off putting as Pierce. Pierce's blatant racist/sexist/other-ist comments were acceptable because he was old. Shirley was just distasteful. Pierce's Abed like comments weren't understandable because they were so out-dated. Abed with Troy's personality, well he could deal with that and Troy as Annie…
"Bleh. Well I'm definitely not gay. That's for sure."
Britta as Shirley was… just not hot. And last but not least was Annie's appearance as Britta. Something about that did not sit well with him. He did not like it. At all. He preferred Annie with her bright eyes and easy smile. She was always there for the group no matter what, and she was the perfect blend of innocence and sexiness. With just a touch of crazy added in to keep things interesting. He didn't want her to change at all. Is that it? That he lov… cared about Annie just the way she was?
"Jeff! Jeff… JEFF!" There was a hand waving in front of his face.
"Huh?" His eyes focused and found Annie's blue eyes focused on him, a slight smile on her face.
"Welcome back to Earth. You were really out of it."
A large smile bloomed across his face as he took her in, "Hey."
"Well someone's in a good mood."
"I'm just really glad to see you."
Annie's cheeked reddened, "Really?"
Jeff nodded solemnly, "Really."
The two held each other's eyes for several moments, the tension between them growing.
"That's really sweet, I'm glad to see you too." Annie nodded her head awkwardly.
"Listen Annie, I have something to tell you." Annie looked at him intently and waited. "I just wanted to say…"
"ANNIE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET JEFF!" Troy screeched as he sprinted past the study room door, dressed as Tina Turner.
Annie's eyes widened as she remembered her task, "Oh right! Jeff the dean had a small break down while trying to make room in his closest. We need you to calm him down."
At that moment Dean Pelton chased down the hallway after Troy, wearing a combination of his bee, train conductor and catwoman outfit.
"Come back! TROY THAT IS MINE! I didn't say you could have it!"
"You need to learn to share! Sharing is caring!" Troy called back. They soon saw Abed following behind with his camera to his face.
He sighed as he got off the couch, "I guess I'll go take care of this."
Annie beamed, "Thank you Jeff! Wait! You wanted to tell me something?"
"It can wait for a better time."
"Oh," Her eyes looked slightly disappointed, "Alright."
Jeff nodded and headed out of the room. He still had time to tell Annie he cared for her, right?
AN: This was more difficult to write than I originally thought. I kept getting the characters confused. Hope you guys enjoyed it though.