A Change Of Act

Kirsty* (Krevlorneswath@hotmail.com)

Summary: A late answer to the list Gloveslap #24 at 'You Got The Stones?' It's an extremely delayed response, but I wanted to write it anyways. And it's been hanging around in Word for well...ever.

Feedback: Hit me.

Disclaimer: Give me one of those giant Q-Tips and a Gladiator-style stadium and I'll fight Joss for all of 'em. Well...most of 'em. In the meantime, they're not mine. Oh the shock and disappointment...

Archive: Any and everywhere. Let me know. Eventually at: http://bloodsbooze.topcities.com

Notes: It's amazingly difficult to make this character depressed, but I tried anyway. I personally believe this is the worst thing you could do to him...*sob* Sadists.

Y'know, I have to admit it - I never saw it coming. Never foresaw my impending horrible (and really quite icky) doom. Never realised that my entire existence was cheerfully swinging in the balance, whilst I played Agony Demon to Mr Tall Dark and Brooding.

OK, so that may be a little over-melodramatic description, seeing as I'm not exactly dead 'n all, but still...

But it sure as Hell was a kick in the pants from a guy who's supposed to be prescient, I'm telling you that, honey.

If I were in a slightly better mood right now, I'd swear this whole situation was really quite laughable. Big on the dramatic irony, the Powers - at least that's what I've found. Something tells me Angel's had a similar experience. Of course, all I'd have to have done was to let our endearingly bumbling hero open his mouth and then all his woes would become clear (and unmercifully out of *tune*), but now... Well let's say that right now I'd happily go up against an extremely testy Polgara demon if it meant I got to hear that beautiful shambles of a voice again.

No, they didn't take our precious Angelcakes away, nor did they ruin my only *true* home (again) - and hey - my head's still attached to my body.. (Guess I should be doing the Dance of Gratitude and Humility for that little blessing, right, Mother?)...oh no. I just got something a lot worse than that unwelcomly shoved upon my innocent self.

Deaf.

No, *not* the Great Leveller - I can't hear anything, but I'm *not* illiterate you know.

Deafness.

Silence.

No music, no melodic tones of Aretha, Patti, Gloria, to make my life worth living...No Frovlox demons pouring their little hearts out to 'All By Myself' as they leaked out liquid Hydrogen all over the dance floor.

And no singing rapidly equals no job for our favourite Pylean exchange demon.

Just. Nothing.

And without my gift, I'm really not sure if I can take it anymore.

****

Rapid opening and closing of mouths, movement from every direction, but it's not real. I sit, watching the world hurry past me without so much as a whisper. It's like someone turned the sound off the TV, and no matter what I do, I'm never gettin' it back. Dolby Surround can kiss it's sweet ass goodbye...

Angel taps me on the shoulder from behind, moving into my line of sight. I can lip read to a reasonable degree (slightly harder when some of your regular clientele don't use the lips on their *face* for speech... but I'm kinda wandering off the subject now), but as soon as he turns away? The record plays, but the speaker's ain't workin'. Well aren't I Mr Metaphor today?

He thinks he'll be able to fix this, give me back my gift, my life.

I think... not.

One big bang and your life turns to ashes. Unless of course you're a vampire, and then one little well aimed twig can perform the job equally as well. But I'm digressing here, aren't I? It's a habit I picked up since I was knee high to a grasshopper, and equally as colourful...

I think Angel's started to mumble, seein' as his lips are barely moving. A creature-of-the-night ventriloquist is really not a good look for him right now. I tell him to can the sentiment, and damnit - I can't hear my own voice! I don't know if I'm too loud, too quiet...I can't even tell if I'm in tune. This is just Hell.

Oh yeah, sweetheart, laugh all you want at the demon who's lost without music, but just remember that life ain't always sugar and entrails.

For me, it's about seizing the moment. Enjoying every sight, every sound, every flavour before it gets whisked away into another freaky portal. And now I've lost such a huge part of me - it's made me...incomplete. Hell - Even returning to Pylea's better than this little situation, and that's saying something. Having no music at all would be better than it being there, but never being able to *hear* it - now that's just plain torture.

Maybe that's just life?

Maybe I've been livin' too much of La Vida Loca to notice how annoyingly depressing things can be. Maybe I should've taken things a little more seriously. Maybe...

Enough of the maybe's.

I think it's about time I finally changed my act.

Fin