Ok, so yeah. You're probably all thinking 'Why is she writing this when she should be UPDATING HER OTHER ONES!' and yeah...I'm sorry. I've got so many ideas, yet none of them seem to relate to my other stories. I have been working on them though.

FEVER: I know what I want to do to move it along, I'm just working on how to get their first.

Freshmen Pet: The plot is (very) slowly unfurling in my mind.

Lost in Memory: I'm just too lazy to type it up. Gomen.

Axel is Annoying: Spur of the moment thing and I'm working on how I can make it into a collection.

Is that it? Yeah. I think so. Ano...so, about this story.

This will just be a collection of humorous one-shots about the Shinigami adapting to the real world. So yeah. Here.

Disclaimer- I do not own Bleach or any of the products mentioned from here on out.

NUMBER 1:

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!

At a moment like this, Ichigo couldn't help but twitch. It was one thing to take care of grown men and women and shelter them, but for his intelligence of things in the real world to be insulted...it just pissed him off. He had explained many things, but still, little details seemed to slip. So here he was, standing next to the toaster with a butter knife in hand, having to listen to Hitsugaya bitch at him, the 'slipped' detail being butter.

"What?"

"I said, you can't make buttered toast," Hitsugaya repeated.

"Why?" Ichigo answered in utter disbelief.

"Becaust that," he said, motioning to the tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, "is not butter."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"Yes. It is."

"No. It's not."

"Why isn't it?"

"It says so right on the container!" Hitsugaya jumped up and snatched it from the counter and pointed to the label. "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Are you blind, baka?" A second twitch.

"Technically, you're right. It's not butter."

"Arigetou." He closed his eyes and grinned in accomplishment.

"It's margarine." His eyes opened in a stare.

"Mardrin?"

"No. Mar-ga-rine. It's the same thing as butter just less fat."

"So it's still not butter?"

"No."

"Then it's not buttered toast."

"...It's the same as butter."

"But it's margarine, remember?"

"It's basically a butter substitute."

"Oh, like you're a substitute Shinigami."

"Exactly."

"I get it now. Margarine is butter, just not as good." A third twitch.

"...I should sit on you." Hitsugaya's face contorted in anger and flushed.

"DON'T CALL ME SMALL!"

Yeah, it was stupid. I came up with it while fixing toast this morning and watching Renji and Ichigo fight over coffee. It was enlightening. Well (yawn) gotta go. Later. Ja. R&R please.

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-Yoshimi Kurosaki

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