DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural. I wish I did. Or at least had a joint-custody agreement and got to spend time with it every other weekend with supervised visitation. Oh well…
SPN Crack:
Pairing: Dean; Castiel; Sam [Could be seen as Dean/Castiel, could be seen as just friends]
Rating: PG-13
Setting: Season 5
Dean slammed the bathroom door in the Angel's face, "Well, screw you, Feather-brains!"
Of course, when he turned around, the trenchcoat-wearing warrior of Heaven was standing right in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at him with such an intense gaze.
"Dean…" he began, trying to placate the fuming hunter.
But Dean would have none of it and he pushed Castiel out of the way, "No. I'm serious, Castiel. Enough of this." He paused for a second, as if realizing something important, and then snapped harshly, "And what have I told you about personal space! Get the Hell outta here…"
The Angel blinked out of the room and Dean was left holding the sides of the sink, his chest heaving with the adrenaline from the argument.
"God."
He splashed some water from the faucet on his face and sighed as he re-entered the motel room, where Sam was sitting on the bed on the farthest side of the room. His green eyes were wide with surprise and his head tilted curiously before a sneaky smile crept across his face.
"Fighting with your boyfriend?"
Dean shot his not-so-little baby brother a look that read 'I will bite your face off' and he rolled his eyes, "Really, Sam?"
Sam's laugh stopped and he looked up at his brother with what Dean referred to as Sam's puppy-face, his eyes glossy with crocodile tears, before he mockingly whimpered, "Does this mean you two don't love each other anymore?"
Dean's patience was wearing thin, any moment now he would have to kill Sam for being such an ass, "I am not in the mood for this."
The gargantuan hunter laughed, "Well you weren't the one who just watched what equated to a old married couple's bickering… I mean, I was waiting for Cas-"
Dean cut him off, "Castiel."
Sam nodded, "I was waiting for Castiel to say something like 'One of these days, Dean…'" He gasped, his voice rising in pitch like a child, "Oh no! Are you two getting a divorce?"
The elder brother shook his head and threw a pillow at him, heading for the door. "Your Ralph Kramden impression really sucks, bitch," he said as he shut the door behind him.
The younger Winchester could not even retaliate with 'jerk' before the door slammed shut.
Once out in the motel parking lot, standing behind his baby, Dean looked up to the cloudy heavens. He cupped his hands around his mouth to magnify his shouts, "Hey Chuckles! Feather-brains! You fluffy-winged douchebag, get down here!"
No answers.
His shoulders slumped and he stopped the insane shouting before just whispering, "Castiel, I'm sorry. Okay? Look, I'm calm now…"
The Angel appeared behind Dean. "You don't always need to get the last word in every argument, Dean." He took a few steps closer to his charge.
Dean smirked, shrugging like a misbehaving child, "What can I say? I'm stubborn."
Castiel's lip twitched and Dean knew that was the closest the Angel would get to a smile. "I believe the term you use is 'pain in the ass'."
The hunter had to stifle a laugh as his eyes snapped open in surprise. "Heh, yeah," his hand scratched the back of his neck nervously, "I guess I am."
There was a drawn out silence between them as they stood behind the Impala.
Dean sighed and reiterated his earlier sentiments, "I am sorry, though, Cas. I – I'm just a major dick sometimes."
Castiel put a hand on Dean's arm, his head tilting in understanding.
The taller man tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowed pensively.
"Hey, Cas? What were we fighting about?"