I'll Be Home For Christmas
Cassandra Nighte
Summary: Magic is at its best on Christmas Eve. Hope reigns, happiness glows brightest, and wishes are granted. The wishes of children, of men and women, even the wishes of Vampires and Slayers. Post Chosen, plus post Destiny in AtS. B/S. Other pairings are explained throughout.
AN: this is it. The fic I've been planning out since July. I've re- written it fifty times and I'm still not happy with it, but I suppose it will have to do. It's meant to be sweet with a touch of sadness. But I assure you the end is quite happy.
Um, I changed a few things so I could do this right: Eve isn't actively evil yet, so Spike will believe he can safely leave WF&H. I kinda switched how Spike gets corporeal and everything. That's all explained. I've come up with good reasons. Um, Kennedy? Yeah. She's gone. I don't really like Kennedy and am a die hard Willow/Xander fan. And for everything to work the way I want it to, I had to make a new Cleveland. The one in Ohio? HUGE! Then I look at Sunnydale. Little town. I like little towns. MUCH easier to write. And I've got this thing about writing about real places. I'm not good at it unless I've been there. So there's a new Cleveland in Iowa. If there really is a little Cleveland in Iowa, go you guys!
Enough of me talking. My mother says I learned how to talk at an early age and haven't shut up yet. Sorry. . .and Merry Christmas to all!
:. :. :. (this is meant to be holly, if you can't figure out what's up with the dots. . . I couldn't figure out anything Christmasy to do.)
:. Angel
I looked up as someone entered my office. It was Harmony. Her mascara had run down her face, she had been crying. Okay, she still was crying. I stood up, wondering what had happened now. I mentally prepared myself for a tough battle. That usually seemed to be the case.
"What's wrong?" I asked. The blond vampire gave out a loud sniff.
"He's. . .he's g-gone." She choked out. "That stupid. . .stupid. . .*guy* left again!" I tried not to grin at her lack of ability to come up with a good evil name. Then it hit me. He. I had a pretty good idea of which he.
"Spike." I guessed. Harmony nodded tearfully, letting out another sniff. I sighed. When he became corporeal, I wondered how long he would stay. I guess he had good reason to leave now; when I asked him to stay, the only thing he got was the predestined swig of Mountain Dew. Not to mention the whole thing where we hate each other's guts. That probably was a factor. I didn't let it show how much the matter bothered me.
"well, maybe now we can get some peace." I said, sitting back down. Harmony stomped her foot in frustration.
"I'm the only one angry about this, aren't I?!" she cried, and stormed out. I sighed again. No, she wasn't. I knew where my Grandchilde had gone. Back to her. To his beloved Buffy. He loved her. I loved her. Just something else between us. The worst part was, when it came down to a direct, one-or-the-other choice, she chose him over me.
Gunn came in, interrupting my brooding. Which only made me more cross. But once again, I hid my feelings.
"Uh, I guess you don't know Spike's gone?" he guessed. I shook my head.
"No, I knew that." I replied calmly. He gave me an odd look.
"I thought you'd be angrier." He commented. I raised an eyebrow.
"Why's that?" I asked. Like we all didn't know. Gunn put an expression of mock-thoughtfulness on his face.
"Well, let's see. He could cause a world of trouble, there's still the Champion thing to resolve, he's most likely going back to Buffy, you hate his guts, you told him to stay, and he took the viper." He listed off. I shrugged.
"Hey, it's not my problem if he wants-" I suddenly stopped as the last part sunk in. My viper?! "He took the viper?!" I cried. Gunn stared at me in disbelief.
"That's all you're worried about?!" He exclaimed. "The car?" I stood up, slamming my hands on my desk.
"He took my viper! That's my favorite car! I cannot believe he would take my viper?!" I shouted angrily. "He did it on purpose you know. He knows how much I like the viper. I should have known." Gunn just stared. He had no idea that viper was the car I'd wanted since it came out. And that was the one car Spike just had to take. Wesley came into the room, a puzzled look on his face.
"What's going on?" he asked worriedly. I wheeled around to face him. Gunn gave Wesley a you-asked-for-it grin. "Okay, really. What's going on?" Wesley asked more seriously. I held out my hands desperately.
"HE TOOK MY VIPER!"
:. Spike
I drove into the small town of Cleveland. And I knew it was right this time. It felt hellmouthy. There are more Clevelands than the one in Ohio. This one happened to be in Iowa of all places. Iowa. It reminded me of something, and I remembered with a snort that Captain Cardboard grew up in Iowa. But the little town of Cleveland, Iowa reminded me of a frozen Sunnydale. A happy little town with lots of happy little people and their white picket fences, and the constant problems the local Hellmouth brought on.
I didn't think it would be easy to find her. I mean, you can't just go up to any demon and ask if he knows where the closest Slayer was anymore. There were thousands, possibly millions of Slayers all over the world now. Who knew which one you would get! But I soon learned there were other ways of finding her.
I stopped a moment and closed my eyes. There. I could feel her. And I knew it wasn't just any Slayer, I knew it was my Slayer. My Buffy. She felt different. She was Chosen by the original Slayer rules and regulations the monks set up, the others were Gifted by Willow and her amazing power. There's a difference. Ancient magic has a different taste than what was recently done. Besides, there was a little hint of Red in the magic. A little bit of the witch that cast the spell.
I followed the trail down to the older district, with the pretty old houses. I pulled down a quiet street and to a house painted in blue, 1405 Morningside Drive. It was a little smaller than the previous Summers' home, but it was nice. I knew it had to be right. It was the all- American house Buffy had always wanted.
I pulled over alongside the curb and turned off the car. I got out and stood in the falling snow. I looked at the house and took a sniff of the air. Though the cold air burned as I inhaled it, I was warm inside. I could smell all of them. Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles, even the boy, Andrew. The only thing that puzzled me was that I didn't smell Anya. The ex- demon had been good company. I wondered what had happened to her.
I thought a moment more, then moved forward. I could see into the livingroom window. If my heart could have beat, it would have stopped then. I walked right up to the window. Buffy was placing a gift under a Christmas tree shining with lights and ornaments. I could hear happy Christmas music playing inside. Dawn walked into the room with a plate of cookies. Buffy looked up and grinned. Her mouth formed words and I almost heard her happy exclamation. "Cookies!" like she had commented on the presents on her birthday in a time that seemed ages. Dawn laughed as well and they each took a cookie. I watched them talk and laugh together. It was brilliant, everything I had missed, everything I had waited for, hoped to find. It was here. I was home.
I stood there watching, their happiness making the corners of my own mouth turn up. But then I saddened as I suddenly realized I couldn't do it. I couldn't ruin their happiness. Buffy was finally happy, probably being able to enjoy the luxury of the normal life. If I turned up again, I would awaken old memories and painful thoughts. Not to mention a whole world of confusion. She would probably hate me for coming back. I wouldn't be a hero anymore. I survived. Telling my story wouldn't help. First impression was all Buffy ever needed. And she wouldn't like the mine. That I had somehow cheated the heroic ending handed to me.
If nothing else, she would only be angry I didn't come at first, instead of staying at Wolfram & Hart for so long. Not that I had a choice, but the reasons never mattered to her. No, only the plain, obvious facts. I'd been back for a few months, and I hadn't come back to her. And that was the best scenario I could come up with. No, I couldn't be with her again. It could never work for either of our favors.
I turned away from the window, all hope shattered. I trudged through the snow and got back into my car. The pretty red viper. Even the reminder of the fun of stealing Angel's most prized vehicle didn't cheer me. I was getting ready to drive away form everything I lived for. And there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't destroy their lives again. I sat in the car a moment, pulling myself together again, and started it up. I drove off, defeated.
:. Buffy
I put the last of the presents under the tree, excited about the fun tomorrow would bring. Dawn came into the room and I instantly smelled the warm chocolaty goodness of the cookies she had just finished. She set the plate down. I looked at her and grinned.
"Cookies!" I exclaimed, happily indicating the steaming plate. Dawn giggled. We each took a cookie, and bit into the warm, chocolaty heaven.
"mmm. I don't care what anyone says. There is *nothing* better than chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven." I commented.
"See? If you don't let me near the peanut butter, I can cook!" Dawn replied proudly. I giggled.
All of a sudden I froze. I felt it again. The familiar tingle at the back of my neck, the automatic increase in my heart's pace. I got tinglys every time a vampire showed up, but these were different. I only felt like this when one vampire was around. A handsome, blue-eyed, bleached blonde vampire. A dusted vampire. Even though Spike was dust, I still thought I felt him, just because I missed him so much.
I took a breath and told myself he was gone. He wasn't coming back. He was dust. Slowly the feeling faded, and I was able to laugh as Dawn turned up the radio and began singing along to Madonna's "Santa Baby", dance included. We stayed up a while longer, eating cookies and talking. Then I stood up.
"I'm going for a walk." I said. Dawn gave me a concerned look. She knew something was wrong. She usually could tell.
"It's kinda late." She pointed out. I grinned, shrugging.
"well, I always did prefer night. And all the snow is so pretty. . ." I remarked. She nodded, obviously believing I just wanted to walk through the snow. Neither of us had seen it more than once, and Dawn hadn't ever really seen it, just what the monks made her believe. It fascinated us both.
"Don't stay out too late! We've got a party tomorrow." She reminded me. I hugged my sister, then grabbed a coat and went outside. I stopped on the porch, looking out over the white street. The snow still fell softly. I noticed a set of tire tracks next to the curb. They pulled in, then back out again. My heart fluttered and I wondered if maybe, just maybe, he really was back. I shook the feeling off. It was impossible. He didn't make it out of the school back in Sunnydale. I knew that. And besides, if he was back, he would've come to see me first thing.
I walked down the front walk and began walking through the streets. This town reminded me a lot of Sunnydale. The only difference was, I didn't have to defend the world by myself. It wasn't me, Giles, Willow and Xander in the school library struggling to defeat whatever came along. There were tons of Slayers now. There were plenty right here. Giles, Willow and I were working to train them all. We set up a new Magic Box, where Willow taught magic and sold it, Giles taught the girls about the Slayer duties and how they became Slayers. Not to mention the way it used to be. He felt it shouldn't be forgotten, the Slayer rules that haunted my teenage years.
As for me, I had the best job in the world, teaching Slayers how to go out and fight evil. It was fun, and somewhat comforting to be around other girls with the exact same power I had.
Xander got back into the construction business, which he loved. We offered him a part in our business, but he declined, going back to what he knew. He came around frequently, just like the old days. Except now he and Willow were going out, finally. Kennedy had gone her own way, going back to her home to find Slayers. Willow and Xander became closer, now they both had dealt with losses. They had a new understanding now that Willow had lost Tara and Xander had lost Anya. It brought them together, knowing that their union wouldn't hurt their loved ones.
I paused, feeling a vamp in a nearby graveyard. I sighed. Even on Christmas Eve! Did they ever give it a rest? I walked into the graveyard and easily found the vampire. He looked at me.
"Who're you?" he asked. I smiled.
"Your executioner." I replied, pulling out a stake. The vampire let out a growl and rushed me. I jumped up and gave him a sharp kick to the face. He stumbled back.
"Jeez, lady." He muttered. "Who do you think you are? Supergirl?" I shrugged.
"Nope. Just your ordinary, everyday Slayer." I pinned him to a tree. "Merry Christmas, Fangs."
"thanks." He said, smiling. I shoved the stake into his heart and he turned to dust. I dusted myself off and continued my stroll. I remembered how I used to do this every night, then walk into one graveyard in particular. I always kind of hoped Spike would be there. He usually would show up, leaning casually against a tree or headstone.
I sighed. I missed the vampire. I missed the way he seemed so comfortable, no matter the circumstances. I missed his voice, confident and arrogant. I missed the way he would tease me endlessly, then turn around and defend me from anyone who stood up against me. I missed his platinum blonde hair I so often teased him about, his bright blue eyes, sparkling with mischief, his strong, lean body, his smell of smoke, whiskey, hair gel, and the night air, the taste of his kiss. I missed seeing him in that old duster, popping up in just the right moment. I missed him loving me. I missed loving him.
I remembered those last few moments down under the school. In the Hellmouth. Spike had been determined, ready to give his life for the world, for goodness, and for me. Yet, he didn't accept it when I finally told him the truth, that I loved him. I thought back further to when we had talked about the night we had spent together. The night I had been rejected and he still came to me. He came to bring up my spirits. It had meant something special to him, and to me too. After that, I didn't understand why he wouldn't believe I loved him. Except he saw me kiss Angel.
Angel. I hadn't talked to him for a few months. After Sunnydale, we had kept in touch a little. But the last time I called, he had seemed in a rush to get off the phone. I guess the whole cookie thing was getting to him. But I finally realized I was done baking. And I knew who I wanted to enjoy cookie-me. And that person was gone forever. And Angel knew it too. I wasn't sure how, but somehow he knew. I guess that knowledge hurt him.
I stopped in a park. I pushed all the snow off a bench and sat down, looking at the frozen pond in the middle of the park. I could see the lights from houses in the distance, all decorated for Christmas. Everyone was happy, safe and warm inside their houses tonight. Loved ones were together again. I was surrounded by my own friends and my family, but I still felt a little lonely. I still was in love with Spike. Sometimes I ever wondered if I would get over it. I didn't really want to. I couldn't just let him go like that.
After we got safely out of Sunnydale, I felt guilty for leaving him in the basement. He had died alone. Once he told me that's how it had always been. He was always alone, like I was. Like I used to be. Like I was again. And I had left him to die alone as well. He told me to go and I went. But somehow, I knew he was content with his decision. Something in his eyes as I searched for some way to bring him with me. He had seemed happy, grinning as his skin began to burn. He looked like he finally belonged, standing there glowing in the sunlight. He was finally going to do his part.
And everyone accepted him after it was all over. He had finally earned the acceptance, the friendship he had longed for while he was with us. How long was it he stuck it out with all of us? Five years? And we never gave him any respect or anything. But now. . .now everyone remembered him fondly. How ironic, he's like so many artists, only famed after death.
Yeah. I was happy here. But I didn't know about anyone else. I gazed out over the frozen pond. The snow was still falling lightly, shimmering in the light from the street lamps and houses. It really was pretty, I realized.
"Excuse me, darling, but you'll catch your death of cold out here." A soft voice said. I jumped, and quickly looked beside me to the source of a voice. An old woman in a green coat with a darker green scarf around her neck. Her silver hair fell in wispy curls framing a face not lined, but full of life and wisdom. I smiled.
"I think I'll be all right." I replied. She returned the smile.
"beautiful night, isn't it?" she asked, looking out over the pond.
:. Spike
I decided to stop in at a demon bar and maybe think things over. Maybe if I got good and drunk, a brilliant idea to see Buffy without causing World War III would magically pop up. I hesitated at the door, wondering how far my "bad" reputation had spread. I decided to find out and strode into the bar. I glanced around, challenging anyone to throw me back out, but no one did, thankfully.
I brushed the snow off my long black duster, then sat down at the bar.
"What can I getcha, kid?" the bartender asked. I looked up in surprise.
"Willy the Snitch?!" I cried. He looked a tad panicked.
"Spike. . .you're not a friend around here." He hissed. "Or anywhere." I shrugged.
"Old news. But no one seems to be bothering me, do they?" he shook his head. "Let's keep it that way, all right?" Willy nodded. I let my voice regain it's volume.
"You made it out of good ole' SunnyD, I see." I commented. "Running along to the next Hellmouth then?" He shrugged.
"It's a living." He grinned and lowered his voice. "Just don't destroy this one, all right?" I smirked at him.
"As long as it doesn't threaten to destroy the earth, we have no qualms against each other." I replied.
"So. What's it gonna be? I got some real nice blood. . .just in." Willy offered. I made a face.
"Nah, whiskey." I decided. He nodded and poured the requested drink.
"Don't cause a scene. I'm starting up anew here." He said proudly, walking off to his other customers. I shook my head. Same old Willy. I shouldn't have been amazed. It really was a pretty small world.
I looked down into the drink in my hands, letting my mind fly off again. It flew with all it's might back to Buffy-related thoughts. A part of me wondered if she really would be upset with my returning. I remembered her confession down in the basement. She had finally said the three words I had been hoping to hear for a long time. And what a time! There had been no way to return them without causing her to die by my side. As I looked into her eyes, surprised by the confession, I had seen that she would have. She was ready to stay with me until the very end. I couldn't have let her do that. I was going to die saving the world for her. So she could live happily ever after. It wouldn't work if she died too.
So I denied her love, breaking the spell that held her there. I could see the regret as she studied me one last time, as I studied her one last time. But I knew how much it would mean to her if I completed what I set out to do. I was going to be the hero. I remembered how pleased I was that I was going to be the one, the one Buffy chose to save the world by her side. Me over Angel. Ever since I was Turned, I've been living in Angel's shadow. And finally, finally someone looked to me instead of my Grandsire. I couldn't help but laugh in the end, as my skin burnt to dust. It was me, not Angel. He wasn't the Champion.
Unfortunately, that was still to be resolved. Which one of us really was the One? For two seconds I thought I was, when I held the pretty golden cup which I thought contained my destiny, the one I had fought Angel for, and won. The Great All Powerful Cup of Mountain Dew. I never liked Mountain Dew. And obviously, it wasn't my destiny to drink the mystical soda. So the question still held, which one of us was the true Champion? As far as I was concerned, it was me. Buffy had chosen me, I saved the world, I got a second chance, it was me. And as far as Angel was concerned, it was him. Because everything is about him in his little mind.
"Excuse me, young man." I looked up.
End Chapter One
All right. I know it's not the best of stopping points, but I'm really hurting for chapter ideas and time to write them. Erm, it doesn't help that I kinda came up with the ending before anything else, so I just kinda want to get to that. But believe me, I'm working my butt off here. Except for the time I keep cutting to a) do homework, b) talk to my best friend about c) the new guy who may very well be my boyfriend pretty soon.
Anyway, there will be a chapter a day up until Christmas Eve. That's when the fireworks go off with the yummy Spuffy finale.
Cassandra Nighte
Summary: Magic is at its best on Christmas Eve. Hope reigns, happiness glows brightest, and wishes are granted. The wishes of children, of men and women, even the wishes of Vampires and Slayers. Post Chosen, plus post Destiny in AtS. B/S. Other pairings are explained throughout.
AN: this is it. The fic I've been planning out since July. I've re- written it fifty times and I'm still not happy with it, but I suppose it will have to do. It's meant to be sweet with a touch of sadness. But I assure you the end is quite happy.
Um, I changed a few things so I could do this right: Eve isn't actively evil yet, so Spike will believe he can safely leave WF&H. I kinda switched how Spike gets corporeal and everything. That's all explained. I've come up with good reasons. Um, Kennedy? Yeah. She's gone. I don't really like Kennedy and am a die hard Willow/Xander fan. And for everything to work the way I want it to, I had to make a new Cleveland. The one in Ohio? HUGE! Then I look at Sunnydale. Little town. I like little towns. MUCH easier to write. And I've got this thing about writing about real places. I'm not good at it unless I've been there. So there's a new Cleveland in Iowa. If there really is a little Cleveland in Iowa, go you guys!
Enough of me talking. My mother says I learned how to talk at an early age and haven't shut up yet. Sorry. . .and Merry Christmas to all!
:. :. :. (this is meant to be holly, if you can't figure out what's up with the dots. . . I couldn't figure out anything Christmasy to do.)
:. Angel
I looked up as someone entered my office. It was Harmony. Her mascara had run down her face, she had been crying. Okay, she still was crying. I stood up, wondering what had happened now. I mentally prepared myself for a tough battle. That usually seemed to be the case.
"What's wrong?" I asked. The blond vampire gave out a loud sniff.
"He's. . .he's g-gone." She choked out. "That stupid. . .stupid. . .*guy* left again!" I tried not to grin at her lack of ability to come up with a good evil name. Then it hit me. He. I had a pretty good idea of which he.
"Spike." I guessed. Harmony nodded tearfully, letting out another sniff. I sighed. When he became corporeal, I wondered how long he would stay. I guess he had good reason to leave now; when I asked him to stay, the only thing he got was the predestined swig of Mountain Dew. Not to mention the whole thing where we hate each other's guts. That probably was a factor. I didn't let it show how much the matter bothered me.
"well, maybe now we can get some peace." I said, sitting back down. Harmony stomped her foot in frustration.
"I'm the only one angry about this, aren't I?!" she cried, and stormed out. I sighed again. No, she wasn't. I knew where my Grandchilde had gone. Back to her. To his beloved Buffy. He loved her. I loved her. Just something else between us. The worst part was, when it came down to a direct, one-or-the-other choice, she chose him over me.
Gunn came in, interrupting my brooding. Which only made me more cross. But once again, I hid my feelings.
"Uh, I guess you don't know Spike's gone?" he guessed. I shook my head.
"No, I knew that." I replied calmly. He gave me an odd look.
"I thought you'd be angrier." He commented. I raised an eyebrow.
"Why's that?" I asked. Like we all didn't know. Gunn put an expression of mock-thoughtfulness on his face.
"Well, let's see. He could cause a world of trouble, there's still the Champion thing to resolve, he's most likely going back to Buffy, you hate his guts, you told him to stay, and he took the viper." He listed off. I shrugged.
"Hey, it's not my problem if he wants-" I suddenly stopped as the last part sunk in. My viper?! "He took the viper?!" I cried. Gunn stared at me in disbelief.
"That's all you're worried about?!" He exclaimed. "The car?" I stood up, slamming my hands on my desk.
"He took my viper! That's my favorite car! I cannot believe he would take my viper?!" I shouted angrily. "He did it on purpose you know. He knows how much I like the viper. I should have known." Gunn just stared. He had no idea that viper was the car I'd wanted since it came out. And that was the one car Spike just had to take. Wesley came into the room, a puzzled look on his face.
"What's going on?" he asked worriedly. I wheeled around to face him. Gunn gave Wesley a you-asked-for-it grin. "Okay, really. What's going on?" Wesley asked more seriously. I held out my hands desperately.
"HE TOOK MY VIPER!"
:. Spike
I drove into the small town of Cleveland. And I knew it was right this time. It felt hellmouthy. There are more Clevelands than the one in Ohio. This one happened to be in Iowa of all places. Iowa. It reminded me of something, and I remembered with a snort that Captain Cardboard grew up in Iowa. But the little town of Cleveland, Iowa reminded me of a frozen Sunnydale. A happy little town with lots of happy little people and their white picket fences, and the constant problems the local Hellmouth brought on.
I didn't think it would be easy to find her. I mean, you can't just go up to any demon and ask if he knows where the closest Slayer was anymore. There were thousands, possibly millions of Slayers all over the world now. Who knew which one you would get! But I soon learned there were other ways of finding her.
I stopped a moment and closed my eyes. There. I could feel her. And I knew it wasn't just any Slayer, I knew it was my Slayer. My Buffy. She felt different. She was Chosen by the original Slayer rules and regulations the monks set up, the others were Gifted by Willow and her amazing power. There's a difference. Ancient magic has a different taste than what was recently done. Besides, there was a little hint of Red in the magic. A little bit of the witch that cast the spell.
I followed the trail down to the older district, with the pretty old houses. I pulled down a quiet street and to a house painted in blue, 1405 Morningside Drive. It was a little smaller than the previous Summers' home, but it was nice. I knew it had to be right. It was the all- American house Buffy had always wanted.
I pulled over alongside the curb and turned off the car. I got out and stood in the falling snow. I looked at the house and took a sniff of the air. Though the cold air burned as I inhaled it, I was warm inside. I could smell all of them. Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles, even the boy, Andrew. The only thing that puzzled me was that I didn't smell Anya. The ex- demon had been good company. I wondered what had happened to her.
I thought a moment more, then moved forward. I could see into the livingroom window. If my heart could have beat, it would have stopped then. I walked right up to the window. Buffy was placing a gift under a Christmas tree shining with lights and ornaments. I could hear happy Christmas music playing inside. Dawn walked into the room with a plate of cookies. Buffy looked up and grinned. Her mouth formed words and I almost heard her happy exclamation. "Cookies!" like she had commented on the presents on her birthday in a time that seemed ages. Dawn laughed as well and they each took a cookie. I watched them talk and laugh together. It was brilliant, everything I had missed, everything I had waited for, hoped to find. It was here. I was home.
I stood there watching, their happiness making the corners of my own mouth turn up. But then I saddened as I suddenly realized I couldn't do it. I couldn't ruin their happiness. Buffy was finally happy, probably being able to enjoy the luxury of the normal life. If I turned up again, I would awaken old memories and painful thoughts. Not to mention a whole world of confusion. She would probably hate me for coming back. I wouldn't be a hero anymore. I survived. Telling my story wouldn't help. First impression was all Buffy ever needed. And she wouldn't like the mine. That I had somehow cheated the heroic ending handed to me.
If nothing else, she would only be angry I didn't come at first, instead of staying at Wolfram & Hart for so long. Not that I had a choice, but the reasons never mattered to her. No, only the plain, obvious facts. I'd been back for a few months, and I hadn't come back to her. And that was the best scenario I could come up with. No, I couldn't be with her again. It could never work for either of our favors.
I turned away from the window, all hope shattered. I trudged through the snow and got back into my car. The pretty red viper. Even the reminder of the fun of stealing Angel's most prized vehicle didn't cheer me. I was getting ready to drive away form everything I lived for. And there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't destroy their lives again. I sat in the car a moment, pulling myself together again, and started it up. I drove off, defeated.
:. Buffy
I put the last of the presents under the tree, excited about the fun tomorrow would bring. Dawn came into the room and I instantly smelled the warm chocolaty goodness of the cookies she had just finished. She set the plate down. I looked at her and grinned.
"Cookies!" I exclaimed, happily indicating the steaming plate. Dawn giggled. We each took a cookie, and bit into the warm, chocolaty heaven.
"mmm. I don't care what anyone says. There is *nothing* better than chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven." I commented.
"See? If you don't let me near the peanut butter, I can cook!" Dawn replied proudly. I giggled.
All of a sudden I froze. I felt it again. The familiar tingle at the back of my neck, the automatic increase in my heart's pace. I got tinglys every time a vampire showed up, but these were different. I only felt like this when one vampire was around. A handsome, blue-eyed, bleached blonde vampire. A dusted vampire. Even though Spike was dust, I still thought I felt him, just because I missed him so much.
I took a breath and told myself he was gone. He wasn't coming back. He was dust. Slowly the feeling faded, and I was able to laugh as Dawn turned up the radio and began singing along to Madonna's "Santa Baby", dance included. We stayed up a while longer, eating cookies and talking. Then I stood up.
"I'm going for a walk." I said. Dawn gave me a concerned look. She knew something was wrong. She usually could tell.
"It's kinda late." She pointed out. I grinned, shrugging.
"well, I always did prefer night. And all the snow is so pretty. . ." I remarked. She nodded, obviously believing I just wanted to walk through the snow. Neither of us had seen it more than once, and Dawn hadn't ever really seen it, just what the monks made her believe. It fascinated us both.
"Don't stay out too late! We've got a party tomorrow." She reminded me. I hugged my sister, then grabbed a coat and went outside. I stopped on the porch, looking out over the white street. The snow still fell softly. I noticed a set of tire tracks next to the curb. They pulled in, then back out again. My heart fluttered and I wondered if maybe, just maybe, he really was back. I shook the feeling off. It was impossible. He didn't make it out of the school back in Sunnydale. I knew that. And besides, if he was back, he would've come to see me first thing.
I walked down the front walk and began walking through the streets. This town reminded me a lot of Sunnydale. The only difference was, I didn't have to defend the world by myself. It wasn't me, Giles, Willow and Xander in the school library struggling to defeat whatever came along. There were tons of Slayers now. There were plenty right here. Giles, Willow and I were working to train them all. We set up a new Magic Box, where Willow taught magic and sold it, Giles taught the girls about the Slayer duties and how they became Slayers. Not to mention the way it used to be. He felt it shouldn't be forgotten, the Slayer rules that haunted my teenage years.
As for me, I had the best job in the world, teaching Slayers how to go out and fight evil. It was fun, and somewhat comforting to be around other girls with the exact same power I had.
Xander got back into the construction business, which he loved. We offered him a part in our business, but he declined, going back to what he knew. He came around frequently, just like the old days. Except now he and Willow were going out, finally. Kennedy had gone her own way, going back to her home to find Slayers. Willow and Xander became closer, now they both had dealt with losses. They had a new understanding now that Willow had lost Tara and Xander had lost Anya. It brought them together, knowing that their union wouldn't hurt their loved ones.
I paused, feeling a vamp in a nearby graveyard. I sighed. Even on Christmas Eve! Did they ever give it a rest? I walked into the graveyard and easily found the vampire. He looked at me.
"Who're you?" he asked. I smiled.
"Your executioner." I replied, pulling out a stake. The vampire let out a growl and rushed me. I jumped up and gave him a sharp kick to the face. He stumbled back.
"Jeez, lady." He muttered. "Who do you think you are? Supergirl?" I shrugged.
"Nope. Just your ordinary, everyday Slayer." I pinned him to a tree. "Merry Christmas, Fangs."
"thanks." He said, smiling. I shoved the stake into his heart and he turned to dust. I dusted myself off and continued my stroll. I remembered how I used to do this every night, then walk into one graveyard in particular. I always kind of hoped Spike would be there. He usually would show up, leaning casually against a tree or headstone.
I sighed. I missed the vampire. I missed the way he seemed so comfortable, no matter the circumstances. I missed his voice, confident and arrogant. I missed the way he would tease me endlessly, then turn around and defend me from anyone who stood up against me. I missed his platinum blonde hair I so often teased him about, his bright blue eyes, sparkling with mischief, his strong, lean body, his smell of smoke, whiskey, hair gel, and the night air, the taste of his kiss. I missed seeing him in that old duster, popping up in just the right moment. I missed him loving me. I missed loving him.
I remembered those last few moments down under the school. In the Hellmouth. Spike had been determined, ready to give his life for the world, for goodness, and for me. Yet, he didn't accept it when I finally told him the truth, that I loved him. I thought back further to when we had talked about the night we had spent together. The night I had been rejected and he still came to me. He came to bring up my spirits. It had meant something special to him, and to me too. After that, I didn't understand why he wouldn't believe I loved him. Except he saw me kiss Angel.
Angel. I hadn't talked to him for a few months. After Sunnydale, we had kept in touch a little. But the last time I called, he had seemed in a rush to get off the phone. I guess the whole cookie thing was getting to him. But I finally realized I was done baking. And I knew who I wanted to enjoy cookie-me. And that person was gone forever. And Angel knew it too. I wasn't sure how, but somehow he knew. I guess that knowledge hurt him.
I stopped in a park. I pushed all the snow off a bench and sat down, looking at the frozen pond in the middle of the park. I could see the lights from houses in the distance, all decorated for Christmas. Everyone was happy, safe and warm inside their houses tonight. Loved ones were together again. I was surrounded by my own friends and my family, but I still felt a little lonely. I still was in love with Spike. Sometimes I ever wondered if I would get over it. I didn't really want to. I couldn't just let him go like that.
After we got safely out of Sunnydale, I felt guilty for leaving him in the basement. He had died alone. Once he told me that's how it had always been. He was always alone, like I was. Like I used to be. Like I was again. And I had left him to die alone as well. He told me to go and I went. But somehow, I knew he was content with his decision. Something in his eyes as I searched for some way to bring him with me. He had seemed happy, grinning as his skin began to burn. He looked like he finally belonged, standing there glowing in the sunlight. He was finally going to do his part.
And everyone accepted him after it was all over. He had finally earned the acceptance, the friendship he had longed for while he was with us. How long was it he stuck it out with all of us? Five years? And we never gave him any respect or anything. But now. . .now everyone remembered him fondly. How ironic, he's like so many artists, only famed after death.
Yeah. I was happy here. But I didn't know about anyone else. I gazed out over the frozen pond. The snow was still falling lightly, shimmering in the light from the street lamps and houses. It really was pretty, I realized.
"Excuse me, darling, but you'll catch your death of cold out here." A soft voice said. I jumped, and quickly looked beside me to the source of a voice. An old woman in a green coat with a darker green scarf around her neck. Her silver hair fell in wispy curls framing a face not lined, but full of life and wisdom. I smiled.
"I think I'll be all right." I replied. She returned the smile.
"beautiful night, isn't it?" she asked, looking out over the pond.
:. Spike
I decided to stop in at a demon bar and maybe think things over. Maybe if I got good and drunk, a brilliant idea to see Buffy without causing World War III would magically pop up. I hesitated at the door, wondering how far my "bad" reputation had spread. I decided to find out and strode into the bar. I glanced around, challenging anyone to throw me back out, but no one did, thankfully.
I brushed the snow off my long black duster, then sat down at the bar.
"What can I getcha, kid?" the bartender asked. I looked up in surprise.
"Willy the Snitch?!" I cried. He looked a tad panicked.
"Spike. . .you're not a friend around here." He hissed. "Or anywhere." I shrugged.
"Old news. But no one seems to be bothering me, do they?" he shook his head. "Let's keep it that way, all right?" Willy nodded. I let my voice regain it's volume.
"You made it out of good ole' SunnyD, I see." I commented. "Running along to the next Hellmouth then?" He shrugged.
"It's a living." He grinned and lowered his voice. "Just don't destroy this one, all right?" I smirked at him.
"As long as it doesn't threaten to destroy the earth, we have no qualms against each other." I replied.
"So. What's it gonna be? I got some real nice blood. . .just in." Willy offered. I made a face.
"Nah, whiskey." I decided. He nodded and poured the requested drink.
"Don't cause a scene. I'm starting up anew here." He said proudly, walking off to his other customers. I shook my head. Same old Willy. I shouldn't have been amazed. It really was a pretty small world.
I looked down into the drink in my hands, letting my mind fly off again. It flew with all it's might back to Buffy-related thoughts. A part of me wondered if she really would be upset with my returning. I remembered her confession down in the basement. She had finally said the three words I had been hoping to hear for a long time. And what a time! There had been no way to return them without causing her to die by my side. As I looked into her eyes, surprised by the confession, I had seen that she would have. She was ready to stay with me until the very end. I couldn't have let her do that. I was going to die saving the world for her. So she could live happily ever after. It wouldn't work if she died too.
So I denied her love, breaking the spell that held her there. I could see the regret as she studied me one last time, as I studied her one last time. But I knew how much it would mean to her if I completed what I set out to do. I was going to be the hero. I remembered how pleased I was that I was going to be the one, the one Buffy chose to save the world by her side. Me over Angel. Ever since I was Turned, I've been living in Angel's shadow. And finally, finally someone looked to me instead of my Grandsire. I couldn't help but laugh in the end, as my skin burnt to dust. It was me, not Angel. He wasn't the Champion.
Unfortunately, that was still to be resolved. Which one of us really was the One? For two seconds I thought I was, when I held the pretty golden cup which I thought contained my destiny, the one I had fought Angel for, and won. The Great All Powerful Cup of Mountain Dew. I never liked Mountain Dew. And obviously, it wasn't my destiny to drink the mystical soda. So the question still held, which one of us was the true Champion? As far as I was concerned, it was me. Buffy had chosen me, I saved the world, I got a second chance, it was me. And as far as Angel was concerned, it was him. Because everything is about him in his little mind.
"Excuse me, young man." I looked up.
End Chapter One
All right. I know it's not the best of stopping points, but I'm really hurting for chapter ideas and time to write them. Erm, it doesn't help that I kinda came up with the ending before anything else, so I just kinda want to get to that. But believe me, I'm working my butt off here. Except for the time I keep cutting to a) do homework, b) talk to my best friend about c) the new guy who may very well be my boyfriend pretty soon.
Anyway, there will be a chapter a day up until Christmas Eve. That's when the fireworks go off with the yummy Spuffy finale.