**NOTE: This version is set right after Riley starts anger management and yoga, yet never meets Zane.
The Lifeguard
The word around campus was that The Lifeguard was coming back to the recreation pool in order to coach the school's swim team. Upon hearing the news, Riley felt nothing but anxiety and regret, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to this day. His emotions were in turmoil, attempting to drag his heart and mind into the madness. The very few memories of The Lifeguard made Riley's skin crawl, but that's all he had to remember him by.
Pressed between the restroom wall of The Dot and The Lifeguard, Sam, Riley was in tears. Sam's bruised right cheek burned with pulsing blood underneath the black-and-blue skin, a sick reminder of how much the idea of being…different…disturbed Riley. But he couldn't look away.
Keeping his thick arm pinned into the younger boy's neck, Sam hollered, "If you want a beat-down, you got it!"
Riley, failing to keep the sob out of his voice, choked, "Go ahead! Kick my ass! I deserve it…" He sniveled, staring into baby-blue eyes polluted by confusion.
Sam looked him up and down, refusing to believe what he was hearing, before he slowly lowered his arm and backed away, leaning against the sink behind him. He gave a soft chuckle of disbelief. "Why?"
Those baby-blues cleared up, revealing unadulterated curiosity and concern; after all that Riley had did to him. It was all Riley could do not to break their gaze.
Eyes fluttering shut, Riley sobbed. "I'm not normal…"
Another illegible chuckle could be heard, as if Sam was about to tell him off about how being gay didn't mean you weren't normal. Instead, he told Riley what little comfort he could give him.
"Right…okay." Sam swallowed before continuing, "Look, I-I know how hard it is for you. I'm a swimmer. The locker-rooms, the showers…I get it.
"But I don't want everybody to know." Riley, a bit less teary-eyed, looked away, ashamed of himself for everything. For being gay, for being a coward, for being a complete ass to everybody who'd showed a bit of compassion.
Suddenly, a smirk cracked into Sam's features, practically broadcasting the bruise. How could he bring himself to punch such a perfectly shaped face? "That you have a choice about. You don't have to come out until you're ready."
The blood beneath Riley's skin rolled and boiled at the thought, but he tamed his unstable emotions for the moment. With a tight throat, Riley whispered, "If I ever am."
"In the mean-time, all of this self-hating violent crap…how's that workin' for you?"
Sam waited for no response, heading out the bathroom door and straight out of Riley's life. But he was the only person that managed to put things into perspective for him.
This wouldn't be such a big deal if man was able to accept each others' differences, but then again that would solve most of their problems. So you either stay true to yourself, and respect and love yourself for who you are, or you paint yourself in the image of your peers. Unfortunately Riley was highly in favor of the latter, it was so much…easier. But it wasn't natural.
Sam coming back would give him the opportunity to come up with a better apology, to get this bitter taste out of his mouth. However, would he listen to him? Why would he? Who's to say he should even give Riley the time of day?
When he found out Sam was out, Riley denied all types of interaction. He refused the playful skee ball competition, wouldn't dunk him into the tank at the after-school fair, and even shot down his plans on going over first-aid spine/board placement for the final exam, a sincere joke. Why? Because it meant eventually admitting to something he wasn't quite ready to face.
"So it's better to be a gay-basher than gay?" Fiona locked eyes with Riley, intent on hearing his response, brows arched in mock bewilderment.
Fiona had him figured out from day one. She's a fierce and intelligent girl, so no surprise there. Bad move on Riley's part to use her as a cover-up.
Wrapped up in impenetrable cloak of self-hatred and fear, Riley set his jaw and shot daggers at Fiona. "You know what, maybe it is!"
…I said that? Reflecting back on that day, Riley could now admit that he had acted like a child, a scared one at that.
"You get those confused thoughts out of your head yet?"
"You can't cure being gay, Riley."
"We can stay together until you can figure these things out, Riley."
If they could be okay with him being gay, then why not he? He was the only one holding himself back, and for who? Preps, jocks, "friends", and parents? All he could have to do was say the word, and this pandemonium could be avoided and the acceptance phase could be initiated. Ha, if only it were that black and white.
**Alright, that's all there is. This was a one shot, but you're more than welcome to let me know if you'd like me to post another chapter or two. If not, just rate and review, it's all I'm really looking for. Thanks for reading luffs! 3 **