Love. It gives people that can't even control themselves control over someone else's emotions, life, physical and emotional well being. If I ever meet the crazy person who decided love was beautiful they are going to wish they were never born.
The reason I was hospitalized for a month. The reason I was sent to a psychiatric hospital for a year. The reason I cry myself to sleep every night. The reason I can't feel anything. Not with out him here. The reason he can't come. The reason my mother questions if she raised me wrong. The reason I'm visiting my father before I end it all. The reason is ….. love.
Music. My life. My passion. My future. My talent. My wish. My first connection to love. Before him.
Now it is. My ruining. My death. My destroyer. Because of love… and him.
Him. Loving. Caring. Beautiful. Smart. Funny. Angry. Violent. Mean, Scared by his past. Liar. Dangerous. My savior.
Forks, Washington. The worse place to go if your depressed. Why? The sun rarely comes out and then its cloud covered, there are countless ways to commit suicide, and easy ways to get "accidentally" lost. This is where my dad lives. He is the Sheriff.
Charlie is a silent father and is awkward when trying to show feeling. But I still know he loves me because I'm the same as him. I'm planning on killing my self somewhere where he can find me because I know he would never give up searching for me. He would do anything to make sure I'm alive and breathing that's his way of showing he cares.
I remember when I was sent to the mental hospital he visited me every day for a month. When he had to go back to work he would call me everyday no matter how short and awkward the conversation. I know I am being selfish by taking the easy way out and leaving him but I don't have the strength to live another year. So I have come to say goodbye to him my life will be over in at the most four months.
This is the last book of my life.