Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers.
The Year was 2010.
The place was a city in California.
This sentence has no relevance to the plot but I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.
Angel Grove was a small city in California; half the size of New York. But thanks to some governmental loop hole, in the 90's it was officially declared its own nation. Once that happened, all the citizens of Angel Grove had to decide on a leader. In came an interesting man named Zordon.
Zordon was a man who had just defeated cancer during its last few stages, by removing his brain and attaching some wires into it that would project his image into a tube and translate his thoughts into words. The people of Angel Grove loved Zordon for his intelligence, his faith in democracy, and his love of a good war. The fact that the image in the tube looked and sounded like Richard Nixon might have also helped in his political gain.
But after 6 months in office, Zordon got some opposition. In came Rita Repulsa, a former Democratic Vice President hopeful who lost her shot during Clinton's re-election. She argued that it was undemocratic to just choose a leader and demanded an election. Zordon agreed and they would use one year to campaign and have the election in November of the following year.
During that year, Rita was winning support by a landslide and Zordon was trying the usual schtick- "she's a socialist", "she's of terrorist decent", "she's a 'insert word' sympathizer", and he even brought up her old days of witchcraft. However, Rita won the people's hearts by promises of universal health care, plenty of jobs, free education, and her optimistic slant of "Yes We Can". Then, during the election, she met her husband- Lord Zedd.
Lord Zedd was a former prince who was born with no skin and was kept alive with a metallic exoskeleton and respirator mask. He was cut off from his family's wealth and dethroned after he had joined a group of guerilla fighters trying to overthrow his father. And this was just because he had nothing better to do on a Saturday night.
Despite the obvious warnings about him just wanting to marry Rita for her money, and the fact that he was a sociopath, she married Lord Zedd in a lavish wedding and he was elected as her Vice President. Six months later, Lord Zedd poisoned his wife and fed her to a bunch of hungry wild pigs. He then took over what is now dubbed "South Angel Grove" and amassed a large army of soldiers consisting of metallic soldiers called "Quantrons" and clay soldiers called "Putties". Lord Zedd began a hostel take over of what is now called "North Angel Grove" by having his soldiers perform acts of terroism with car bombs, moltov cocktails into public buildings, and even a few suicide bombings. Despite all this being done by his army, Zedd blamed all the attacks on Zordon's incompetence and even called the President of North Angel Grove a coward for not fighting back. Zedd let his overcompetance take over his mind when he announced that soon all of Angel Grove would belong to.
This is the story of the war that occurred because of those words.
Inside the high-tech Presidential office known as the "Command Center" Zordon was going over his plans with his Vice-President.
"Alpha, that cock sucker Lord Zedd is begging for war," Zordon informed his Vice President, the robot Alpha 5.
"So?" the little robot with the voice of Spike Spiegel replied, proving his lack of faith in his President.
"So, we're going to give the son of a bitch a war!" gloated Zordon.
"Yippie," Alpha muttered while picking up an issue of "Guns and Ammo", not paying attention to his boss' war hunger.
"Don't you take that tone of voice with me, you UFO-headed bastard. That commie butt-licker's already ammassed an army half the size of China and he's trying to destroy the country I've worked so hard to protect."
"My ass," Alpha whispered while turning the page of his magazine.
"The time to act is now Alpha. I want you to find me a big ass group of teenagers with attitude!" Zordon ordered.
"Are you fucking nuts?" Alpha slammed his magazine onto one of panels.
"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Zordon.
"Teenagers? Are you fucking serious? Teenagers! With attitude!" Alpha yelled in disbelief.
"Yes, teenagers. They're the least likely to know how to file a lawsuit if anything happens," was Zordon's logic.
"Yeah, but do you really want the rest of the world to know how you sent a large amount of kids to their deaths? Or the " Alpha argued.
"Fine, fine. Add some guys in their 20's to balance it out. But no women!" Zordon demanded.
"You sexist pig!" Zordon's wife Dimitria- who despite being from New York and raised Catholic always dressed like a muslim woman- barged into the Command Center.
"Damn it, woman! This is my army, I decide who can and can't be in it," Zordon told his wife.
"Your wife does have a point. Many of the voters will be pissed about you not allowing women into the army. Not to mention all the feminists," Alpha reminded his boss.
"Thank you, Alpha," Dimitria patted the little robot's back.
"Fine, fine! Women can be allowed. But no Jews!" the President of Angel Grove compromised.
. This is Angel Grove. Have you ever seen one person celebrate Hannukah here? Fucking dumbass," Alpha lampshaded before going to the controls to announce the recruitment.
The War has begun.