Vaughn vs. Van

A/N: Just a sugar-high chapter I thought up, since crack is illegal :) Enjoy it… if you can. This is just about THE weirdest story I have ever thought up, so bear with me here people. Also, there will be Vabrina, so… well… don't like, don't read. :)

Disclaimer: Excuse me? Did you just say I look like a bunch of old men? :(

Real Disclaimer because I don't want to get sued and live in the streets: I don't own Harvest Moon, but since nobody likes Vabrina then I guess it's my adopted child since I love it :D

Vaughn sighed as he entered his hell known by the name of Forget-Me-Not Valley, walking from Mineral Town. What if he… lost against that man? The harsh winds slapped at his bare ankles as he tried to put one foot in front of the other. Vaughn's silver hair whipped at his face, so he tilted his head down to avoid the bitterness of the air around him. It was a freezing winter night, with the evergreen trees around him coated in snow and Mukumuku lurking around the Goddess Pond.

"Good luck!" Celia called out form her house, grinning and waving. Vaughn slightly smiled at the girl's support and continued on his way. Celia, Vesta, and Marlin silently followed behind him towards Ruby's Inn.

"Do you think I'll win?" he asked softly, suddenly turning around to face the three farmers. Celia and Vesta nodded vigorously, while Marlin shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets on the cool night. Vaughn continued towards the inn, his violet eyes briefly flickering upwards to eye a red-haired girl with bright, blue eyes. That must be Nami, the traveling tomboy.

"Good luck, Vaughn," she called out to the emo, waving him down. Vaughn fake-smiled and nervously tilted his Stetson to cover his face.

This is just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever done, he thought to himself. I'm not taking a bet from Denny and Lanna EVER again.

He held the door open for Celia, Vesta, and Marlin. The three nervously thanked him and scurried inside the toasty, comforting inn. The inn was not as comfortable for Vaughn, however.

"Good luck to Vaughn and Van!" Ruby announced over all of the commotion. The whole place was packed with people from Sunny Islands, Mineral Town, Waffle Island, and Forget-Me-Not Valley. Every single person Vaughn had ever met or didn't meet stared at him. He could feel butterflies in his stomach as the whole entire room fell silent. Even Manna and Anna shut up at the sight of him.

Vaughn's footsteps echoed in the silent room, and over one-hundred pairs of eyes fell upon him as he ripped his ten shirts and jackets off, one by one. Many girls squealed (mainly Chelsea and Sabrina), but all of the little girls were giggling and blushing to each other leaving Taylor, Paolo, Charlie, and Hugh jealous, as were all of the other boys in the room.

I'll kill Denny after this. I WILL KILL HIM, Vaughn kept repeating in his mind. Suddenly, a rather fat figure with long, greasy, black hair pulled back into a ponytail stepped out of the shadows with his arms folded across his blubber- I mean chest.

"So… You are the famous Vaughn…" he breathed, glancing at the silver-haired teen from head to toe to see what he was going up against.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna whoop your ass," Vaughn murmured, putting his bare fists up in a fighting position. Van's face shriveled up as he glared at Vaughn with his extremely tiny eyes that were so small they even gave Toby a competition. A Mexican showdown theme-song rang throughout the building, and Lanna pushed a tumbleweed for effect.

"I'm ready to rumble!" Van shouted, ripping his shirt off to reveal several layers of fat. His man-boobs- I mean, muscular chest- jiggled as he stepped into the arena, the ring daring to break under his weight. The parents shielded their children's eyes as Van tried to flex his muscles that weren't there.

"I'd love to see you beat me, horse-laugh old man," Vaughn antagonized, jumping back and forth from foot to foot. Denny (I WILL KILL HIM) dinged the bell at the front desk rather loudly, and Van suddenly charged forward without warning. Vaughn gasped and jumped upwards into a split, landing on his two feet. Sabrina was insanely blushing.

"Was that the best you could do, Santa Claus?" Vaughn teased, crossing his eyes and sticking his tongue out. Van's eye twitched (or did it? It's kind of hard to tell sometimes…) as he turned to face the amethyst-eyed teen. Meanwhile, the audience cheered and talked amongst themselves.

"E-E-Eliza? D-Do you r-really l-l-like that guy V-Vaughn up there?" Charlie asked, close to tears. Eliza grimaced and shook her head.

"Ew! Totally gross, Charlie! Who could ever like that fatty old man with a mustache? Blech!"

"I meant Vaughn with the silver hair."

"OH! THAT Vaughn! Yeah, he is gonna be my prince someday…" Eliza trailed off, twirling away in circles. Charlie sighed, shook his head, and silently sobbed into his lap. Chen put an encouraging hand on Charlie's shoulder but to no avail. Taylor, Paolo, and Hugh walked over to Charlie to cry with him over their… "women."

"C-C-Chloe is a-amazing…" Taylor and Paolo whined in unison. They looked at each other in bewilderment and glared, but grinned unconvincingly when Chloe walked by.

"Hi Taylor! Hi Paolo! How are you guys?" she asked, giggling as she picked up Paolo's hat and ruffled his chestnut-brown hair underneath. Taylor glared at Paolo but didn't say anything to him.

"Taylor, why do you look so sad?" Chloe asked, tilting her head to the side. Taylor shrugged and rocked on his heels as Paolo still had a stupid, smug grin plastered onto his face. Chloe frowned, and then suddenly brightened again.

"You look like you need a hug!" Chloe glomped Taylor randomly, sending the kid frantically waving his arms but to no avail and falling on the wooden floor. His bones shook and he now had quite a few bruises, but he didn't care. Mira and Ruth chuckled and commented on how cute they looked together, but Craig and Ramsey just glared at each other's kids and shook their heads sadly. Paolo decided he would be a grown-up and glare with them at Taylor. Taylor grinned at Paolo, who didn't seem to be as overjoyed with the situation.

"~Taylor and Chloe sittin' in a tree!~" Paolo began to sing, giggling, trying to bully the two into not liking each other. The two quickly let go of each other and blushed. Hugh, Kate, Eliza, Charlie, Rock, Kai, and Luke stood around the young couple and continued the chant like the little kids they were. Denny would have normally wanted to see that happen and chant with them, but he was too busy enjoying the fight. Vaughn was totally getting CREAMED out there!

"Lanna-banana, are we the despicable geniuses or WHAT!" Denny laughed, throwing his popcorn in the air crazily with Lanna. She giggled and blushed as he sat down on a couch in the corner and patted his lap for her to sit. She pursed her lips and shook her head.

"Aw, darn it! You're no fun, Lanna!" Denny pouted, crossing his arms, "but you are very cute."

Lanna shyly smiled and stroked his palm softly with her hand.

"I-I think you're cute too, Denny!" she admitted, throwing her arms around his neck and rewarding him with a peck on the cheek. Denny's face turned beet-red and he touched the kissed spot on his tan cheek with two fingers in amazement.

"Denny and Lanna sittin' in a tree-"

"Yep! I love Lanna and I'm pretty damn right proud of it, too!" Denny laughed, running his fingers through her annoyingly-perfect ( XD ) blonde hair. The children knew that they would never find any fun in teasing what was already obvious love, so they went to watching Van and Vaughn fight again only to realize that the first round was done.

Meanwhile, in the arena, Vaughn was getting a mid-break back massage from Sabrina. She had several urges to randomly hug him, but she resisted and continued his massage being the shy, do-as-you're-told kind of girl she was.

"Wow… That feels really good… ah…" Vaughn sighed, his head freely swaying back and forth. Sabrina blushed but continued.

"I wonder if it feels good to get hugged by a boy…" Sabrina wondered aloud, trying as hard as she could not to let all of her feelings out right there.

"It feels GREAT to be hugged by a boy!" Chelsea yelled over all of the commotion. She ran up to Vaughn and attempted to crush his lungs (also known as a Chug, a.k.a. Chelsea-hug), but Vaughn pushed her back.

"I ain't fightin' a girl so back off…" he grumbled, tilting his hat over his face to make a shadow. Chelsea flung her brunette hair over her shoulder with attitude, and Sabrina watched after her in jealousy.

"You like her, don't you…?" she whispered, stroking his face again with her cool-to-the-touch, albino-white fingers. It was a rather stupid, obvious question she had asked. All of the cool guys in town liked Chels-

"WHAT! NO!" Vaughn yelled, unnerved. His random outburst caused everyone to go totally silent, but the chatter came back five seconds later.

"I don't like Chelsea…" he whispered, much quieter.

"Good."

"How is that good?"

"Y-You d-d-deserve better than her. She's mean." To me, she added in her mind.

Indeed that was true. Poor Sabrina had been bullied in the past few years by Chelsea but never showed it. She didn't want Vaughn to worry for her.

I'm not sure if I'm better than her, and I'm certainly not as funny and pretty and popular, but I know that I love you more than she ever will and I would and could treat you much better, Sabrina thought to herself with tears starting to form in her dark eyes. Vaughn tilted his head up to look at her, and a bitter tear of Sabrina's fell across his face.

"Why are you crying, Sabrina?" Vaughn asked quietly, clutching her hand for support and softly squeezing it twice. She shook her head in agony, but the time bell had been rung by obnoxious little Jack, and Van came charging towards Vaughn with no warning whatsoever.

Don't you just LOVE cliff-hangers? :) If you guys tell me that you like it, then I'll continue! Or, should I just leave it as a one-shot and torture you guys with no ending…? :D

Thank you for beta-ing this, harvestmoonlovee! :)