Arizona:
She always did this to me. Calliope. She always got me to break every single last unwritten rule that I stored away in my head.
And maybe I was a better person for it.
I knew she was watching me from across the room at Derek's cocktail party. I was talking to Paula, a cute young scrub nurse, trying hard not to notice that she was noticing me. I had no intentions with Paula other than conversation. The first rule I broke for Calliope: getting involved with a co-worker. I was never going to cross that line ever again.
I figured I'd at least be cordial to Calliope, if we happened to cross paths at the party. The night we broke up, I assured her that we'd still be friends. I don't know how realistic we were being. We didn't break up because we weren't madly in love with each other anymore. I still longed for her, and there was no doubt in my mind she felt the same for me. I put on a good show, appearing to be my usual upbeat self. Calliope was always one to wear her heart on her sleeve, one of the many things I always loved about her. But at the same time, it was killing me.
I saw her storm out of the front door after she talked to Mark. I wanted to run out after her and console her. To take her in my arms and kiss her. To get one last taste of her. But, that would've done more harm than good. It would've given Calliope false hope.
Thank God for Teddy. Her telling me about Mark's proposition for a threesome with Reed kept me amused. She became a really good friend to me over the last few months. I wasn't mad about what Mark did. It didn't even faze Teddy one bit. So why should it have bothered me? Mark was just doing what he always does.
Then there was Karev, who proved me wrong once again. He was going to become a fine peds surgeon one day. He handled the case with the girl who diagnosed as a schizophrenic like a seasoned vet. He finally knew how to advocate for the patient the right way. I was so proud of him.
Once the day was done, I was looking forward to having a few drinks at Joe's with Teddy. But as I stepped on the elevator, I saw her. Calliope. We spoke and intended to leave it at that. No conversation. Just a quiet ride down a few floors. If it were only that simple.
That look in her eyes when I stepped on the elevator just destroyed me. I took slow, deep breaths while trying hard to maintain my composure. Once she said my name, I couldn't hold back any longer. I drew her close and began kissing her repeatedly. She began kissing me back with equal amounts of passion. I pulled back, just to get a glimpse of how breathtakingly stunning she was. I was about to steal another kiss, but I couldn't. I mean, I wanted to. Believe me, I wanted to more than anything. Calliope leaned in so our lips could meet. But, the elevator stopped. I quickly made my exit, even though I was supposed to meet Teddy in the lobby.
I walked over to the nearest on-call room and cried my eyes out.
Once I regained my composure, I found Teddy downstairs still waiting. I told her that I had post ops. She looked as if she didn't believe me, but didn't say anything. As we downed drink after drink, I kept playing that kiss over and over in my head. Teddy was practically carrying on the entire conversation by herself. Her hand on my shoulder brought me back down to Earth. She then told me about the patient she and Owen worked on. He saw the love of his life for the first time in 50 years. She came in for a fractured arm, which meant that she was Calliope's patient. Teddy didn't say much more than that. She figured I'd get the point. She knew how much Calliope still meant to me. I didn't tell Teddy about the kiss on the elevator. If I did, I knew exactly what she would say. She'd tell me not to let 50 years go by without the love of my life by my side.
I didn't want to. I wanted to move forward with Calliope. I just didn't know how.
Callie:
Okay. Did that just happen?
Did Arizona and I just make out like a pair of horny teenagers on the elevator?
She just left me there, all out of breath in a state of shock. I wanted to follow her down the hallway. I remembered there was an on-call room around the corner from where she got off at. I wanted to pull her in there and finish what we started.
And then what? The one thing that broke us up in the first place was still an issue. That's why she pulled away. I knew it was hard for her to do that. But, it was for the best.
When I called out her name, I didn't even know what I was going to say after that. All I knew was that in 50 years, I didn't want to find myself without her in my life. I didn't want to go through awkward first dates and having my father being his over protective self again. I thought I was done with all that. For real this time.
That's what sucked about our situation more than anything. Even if I found someone else who was willing to give me what I needed, my heart would still belong to Arizona Robbins. Always and forever.
I skipped going to Joe's. I had a feeling she would be there, probably having a drink with Teddy. I went straight home instead. Mark was waiting for me on the couch. He had a box of Krispy Kremes on the coffee table and my favorite movie already in the DVD player. Best. Friend. Ever. I was about to ask him about Lexie, but he shook his head 'no' before I even said a word. I took off my leather jacket and flopped down beside him on the couch.
About 45 minutes into the movie, Cristina finally came home from Meredith's. She sat down beside me on the couch and immediately grabbed a donut. I was working on my third. Mark ate two and fell asleep. I nudged him the ribs whenever he started snoring. He finally got the hint and stayed awake.
There was one scene that reminded me of what I had with Arizona. The fact that she wasn't there watching it with me got me all worked up. I wanted to cry. I tried putting on my brave face. But, Mark knew me well enough to see right through the facade. He glanced over at Yang. She went into my room and got my box of tissues from off the night stand. After she placed them on my lap, I rested my head on Mark's shoulder. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. Cristina pat me gently on my arm. My love life may have looked bleak at the moment. But, I was grateful that two of my closest friends were there with me.