Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
This is basically a daughter fic to Career Goers of Tomorrow, which I also recommend reading. The one thing I highlighted in Career Goers of Tomorrow is that Naru and Keitaro are meant to be together, despite some relationship issues. This conclusion is not out of opinion, but really out of research, logic, and observation; not all of you will agree with me on this. But think about it; Naru has the strength to dish out the superhuman pain and Keitaro has the durability needed take it. They practically make a foil pair, which means that they're so much the opposite of one another that they complement each other well and make for a great duo. If they stop running around for a minute, they might come to realize that they can use their inborn unnatural abilities for the better of the world and work as an excellent team. This was the theme brought up in Career Goers of Tomorrow, and it will be further explored in this fic. But enough of my ramblings; let's get to the fun part… the actual story.
GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina
Chapter 1: I'm on a DIET.
The time is 7:28 AM
Eastern Standard Time; the date is May 19, 2001; before what is
supposed to be the infamous September 11th cataclysm,
another disaster of massive proportions is about to befall our
unsuspecting New Yorkers.
A lone man sits on the edge of the World Trade Center's North Tower. Because the sun shone on him, you could only see his silhouette. A female figure approached him; her features could be distinguished. She looked like a gentle teenager, with short blue hair and blue eyes to match. She seemed to be wearing a short blue kimono with Daisies imprinted on it. She had a katana strapped to her back. She stopped and stood behind the sitting male silhouette, and cleared her throat. "Excuse me, sir."
The male figure stood up and turned to her. With the sun behind him, you couldn't decipher his features, only the shine of his glasses. "Status report."
"Of course, sir." The young girl replied. "I'm pleased to inform you that the 'Lillith's Egg' prototype is at ninety-eight percent completion. We just need to re-check the power supply and inspect the wirings, as well as all of the main CPUs, the overall exterior structure, the sound wave manipulator, and the spherical collector unit. It should take at least thirty minutes."
"Excellent. Now get back to work." You could barely see the figure smile.
"Thank you, sir. Before I go, I would like to ask you why you're draining extra power from Yankee Stadium." The girl asked.
"Easy: I just don't like the Yankees; they won too many championships and I think their fans are assholes."
"A preconceived notion, sir." The girl replied. "Also, it's quite unlike a former German innovator to be so concerned about an American pastime."
"Just a minor quirk, but really, there's nothing wrong with me. Now get back to work."
"Yes, sir." With that, the girl retreated back inside the building.
The male figure held an item in his right hand. He looked at it and chuckled evilly; the item seemed to be a copy of Danielle Steel's Lone Eagle.
(O)
The next day, at 11:30 AM, this time at the Hinata House. You could hear voices coming out of the manager's room room.
"No. Not like that, like this." Said a male voice.
"Ahh, yes. Right there." Said a female voice.
"All right, now over here. You'll love this part."
"Oh, yes! Do it again!"
"All right. And do you have to use your tongue for this?"
"It just makes work easier for me."
"Okay."
You see Keitaro and Kanako leaning over a mess of books; one of them was open.
"Okay. Now over here, you simplify this." Keitaro was pointing towards the open book. "Now that was easy, wasn't it?"
"No." Kanako replied.
The landlord just sweatdropped. "Alright, now let's move on to the next problem. You'll find this one to be just like the last one."
"God, I hate math!"
"Easy, Kanako." Keitaro replied casually. "You know I was just like you when I studied for the exams. I despised Math from the bottom of my heart. Now look at me. By the way, what's with the music?"
You could now hear "Battlecry" by Nujabes featuring SHINGO2 (the Opening Theme for Samurai Champloo) blaring from the landlord's boombox.
"Music helps me study." Kanako responded. "Just following statistics."
Naru enters the room with two trays. "Hi guys, I brought some tea… Oh! Can I borrow this? Thank you very much!" Before she gave Keitaro a chance to respond, she took the Samurai Champloo OST out of the boombox and ran out of the room, leaving the trays on the floor.
An awkward pause fills the room. Keitaro just said, "I didn't know she liked Samurai Champloo."
"Don't mind her." Kanako said. "She's in La-La Land. Now, you were helping he with some ass-difficult Math problem."
"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that." Keitaro went back to helping his little sister study.
(O)
Kitsune couldn't help but watch what was on TV; her face was practically glued to it. Motoko saw her lounging about and approached her. "Why don't you just do something? Urashima's helping his sister study, Shinobu's doing laundry, Naru's listening to hip-hop (ugh!), Su and Sarah are doing God-knows-what, and I'm practicing."
"Well, I'm watching the news." Kitsune responded. "Normally, I wouldn't because it's so goddamn depressing, but this… this caught my attention."
Motoko went to see what Kitsune was talking about. "What is it?"
"Apparently, it was eight in the morning yesterday at New York when the entire population of that city just mysteriously collapsed. The cause is unknown; that's why they said they MYSTERIOUSLY collapsed."
"Sounds a bit farfetched." Motoko replied.
"That's what I thought until this came up. Look at all those people on the ground, and I have a hangover."
(O)
The British Library was truly something to behold. Books were anywhere and everywhere; some bookshelves covered the walls, which seemingly were hundreds of feet high. The place was bustling with people, some carrying files and others pushing full carts of books. All the books were priceless bundles of information and achievements of literature from yesteryear. Gathering these artifacts of knowledge was what the British Library Division of Special Operations, or DIET, specialized in. No matter what the cost, if it was a part of history, they were there to collect it.
The young and preppy, blonde and blue-eyed, Wendy Earheart was walking across headquarters, a perfect blend of futuristic and Victorian age technology all around her. She was carrying a bundle of files and, with two stumbles and a face fault, was heading towards The Joker's office.
(O)
The Joker hears a knock on his office door. "Come in." Said the blonde, green-eyed second-in-command of DIET.
The door opens and Wendy enters the office. "Mr. Joker. I have all the information concerning the incident in New York City, and I think you might find this interesting." She approaches Joker's desk, only to stumble. She almost falls, but holds her ground and walks towards his desk. She puts a bundle of files on the desk.
Joker looks at the papers in front of him. "Thank you, Wendy."
"You're welcome." She responded excitedly. "As for the incident. One of our satellites took several photos of what may be a large floating base hovering over Manhattan. Common sense would assume this base has connections with the incident. Mapping the inside of the base further proves it. It consists of four smaller structures surrounding a larger center structure, which has a strange black orb on top. The smaller structures have a built in speaker system which emits sound waves. These waves put the target population into a state of pleasure, similar to acid or a Mamoru Oshii film. Once in this state, they have their thoughts, or rather their souls, taken out of them and collected by the black orb on top of the larger structure. The satellite recorded the sound waves from the base's speaker system and converted to text format for safety measures; we wouldn't want to repeat that incident with the Suicide Symphony."
Joker looks over the files. "This text file seems to be an excerpt from Danielle Steel's Lone Eagle."
"It must have been recited via a PA system. Whoever was responsible for this is a crafty bastard for selecting the world's most popular best-selling author. As for the base, it seems to be going on the straight path. Should it not change its course, its destination would be Hinata, a small city near Tokyo, Japan."
"All the more convenient for us." Joker replied. "Hinata is where Agent Paper took a position as substitute teacher. One of her students gave her a kikou book as a gift and asked her to come over to Hinata House, where she claimed she had a few more."
"That student's name is Shinobu Maehara, right?" Wendy asked.
"Precisely. I asked her to go over there to double-check and see if she has any more kikou books and retrieve them if there is any. We don't want to endanger an innocent girl in this potential uprising of I-jin activity, though I have no idea how she managed to get one book, let alone several."
"The Hinata House is also the home of two world-famous residents. Along with information on the New York cataclysm, I also provided the most recent medical reports of Keitaro Urashima and Naru Narusegawa. I thought you would be interested."
"Ok. How recent are we talking about here?" Joker asked.
"Yesterday. They were just released on a news site on the web. It seems Urashima-san had a broken arm; he recovered in three hours, the fastest recovery ever recorded in human history, but that's only the beginning of the young man's abilities."
"Go on." Joker said, looking over the papers in front of him.
"According to the report, Keitaro Urashima has a special kind of skin made of an ultra-durable flesh like material that could be several times stronger than the titanium alloy used to build aircrafts. He can even withstand a shot from a 7.62 mm. NATO round from a Parker-Hale M-85 sniper rifle from about seven hundred meters away."
"Please continue." Joker said, looking over the papers in front of him.
"Of course, Mr. Joker." Wendy replied. "As for Naru Narusegawa (Her name is quite a mouthful.), she has an extra part of her brain, which we have called hyperberserkus, connected to her amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for aggressive behavior. When she becomes angry, the hyperberserkus amplifies electrical signals from her brain and sends them through the cerebellum and to her muscles, increasing their output by at least one hundred and fifty fold. Unfortunately, leftover signals are sent back to the brain, clouding her judgment. One might think she had too many shots of Jaegermeister."
"When her alleged berserker mode clashes with Urashima-san's extreme durability," Joker added. "They change the face of Japanese comedy forever. The antics of these two individuals, as well as several other residents at the former inn turned all-girls dormitory, result in the underground cultural phenomenon known as Love Hina. Not only was it big in Japan, but it also became a hit in the United States, spawning numerous cheaply written anti-Naru fan fictions." Joker puts down the papers and looks at Wendy. "Perhaps it would be killing two birds with one stone if Agent Paper would both go to Hinata House and investigate, and ask Urashima-san and Narusegawa-san to consider a position as agents of the British Library Section A Special Operations Taskforce." He stands up. "Of course, we'll need Mr. Gentleman's permission."
Wendy nods. "Yes, sir. We could use some assistance, especially after what happened with Miss Deep."
(O)
The next day, back at the Hinata House, Keitaro walks quietly across the lobby, looking around like he was Sam Fischer. "I think I might have actually given Naru the slip."
"Is that what you think?" A voice came from behind him.
"Damn, this is getting old!" He knew the voice was Naru's, and he knew he was in some major (bleep). Once again, he had seen more cherries and melons than he were allowed to. Hell, he was never allowed to see any.
But before Naru's fist connected to his left cheek, the front door opened. Both of them looked to see who it was, with Naru's fist being micro-millimeters from Keitaro's face.
A tall figure showed up; she had black hair, thick glasses, and a big coat and was carrying a travois with a briefcase on it. These features were quite distinguishing. She looked at the twosome with a little surprise on her face. "Umm… did I interrupt something?"
"No, not at all." Keitaro replied. He takes a look at the fist that was supposed to pound his face. "Actually, you could've never come at a better time."
"Hello, there. I'm Shinobu's substitute teacher, Yomiko Readman."
"Hi, I'm the manager of the Hinata House, Keitaro Urashima." Keitaro faces her and bows. He motions his left hand to Naru, who is now just facing the same direction. "And this is Naru Narusegawa."
"Of course you are." Yomiko replied. "I know all about you; Naru 'Nuclear Holocaust' Narusegawa and Keitaro 'Human Ballistic Missile' Urashima."
"Those are some grisly nicknames." Keitaro replied.
"The local populous made them up." Yomiko explained. "Anyway, Shinobu was really anxious for me to come over here and see some of her books. She said she found some really interesting ones that she wanted to give me."
A minute later, the three were sitting around the small coffee table in the lobby. Yomiko went through her briefcase and pulled out an ancient book of some kind. She showed it to Naru and Keitaro. "Your child gave me this as a gift. Isn't it nice?" She let out a smile that went across her face.
The landlord went up to Naru. "OUR child?" He whispered to her ear.
"She thinks we're her guardians." She whispered back. She turned to Yomiko, who was still holding the ancient tome up with a big smile. "Readman-san. I don't think…"
"She really had the time of her life." Yomiko interrupted. "And she's doing so well in class." She produces a piece of paper and puts it on the little table. "This is an English test we had on Friday."
The two look over at the paper. "Wow. A 98!" Keitaro exclaimed.
"And she ranked the highest in class, too." Yomiko added. "Could you ask her to come down here and tell her I'm here?"
"Sure thing. Hold on a minute." Keitaro responded. He walked up the stairs.
He goes up to the second floor and makes his way to Shinobu's room. He opens her door and sees her talking on a cell phone. The young girl says goodbye and hangs up. The landlord was confused for a moment, and then he approached her. "I didn't know you had a cell phone, Shinobu." There's a brief pause, but it was broken when Keitaro's face made an expression of pure shock. "WHAT THE HELL!"
CRASH! Naru and Yomiko heard a loud noise and went upstairs to investigate.
When they got to Shinobu's room, they were unable to speak. Eventually, the rest of the Hinata crew went to see what was going on. What they saw was a wee-bit out of character.
Shinobu was holding Keitaro hostage; she had an unusually long fingernail at the landlord's neck. "Alright. Nobody do anything stupid. My fingernails are poisonous. Make a move and I'll inject the venom straight into his throat!"
"What the hell is wrong with you, Shinobu!" Naru asked, dumbfounded at what she saw before her.
"I don't think that's Shinobu at all." Yomiko said.
"If that isn't Shinobu, then who is it?" Motoko asked.
"A super powered clone." She answered without missing a beat.
"She's a WHAT!" replied Naru.
"How many people do you know can extend their fingernails like that? Just let me handle this." With that statement, Yomiko walked towards the renegade clone of a gentle High School student. She puts her hands on her hips and said loudly, "HA! I dare you!"
"WHAT!" Was what came out of everyone's mouths.
"Go ahead! I dare you!" She repeated.
"WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS!" Keitaro cried out, flabbergasted over what Yomiko said.
The clone takes this to mind and presses her nine-inch nail against Keitaro's neck, attempting to penetrate his skin and reach a blood vessel, only to have it broken off. The broken nail falls on the floor, poisonous liquid oozing out of it.
Yomiko still stands there, smiling. "Nice try, but you'd be better off trying to inject that poison into a Boeing 747." She turns to the residents, who were shocked and confused over what just happened. "Your friend's skin is composed of a flesh-like titanium. It can even withstand gunfire."
The renegade clone looks at the remaining nail that was still on her finger. Her eyes were now white circles, expressing pure unadulterated astonishment. She suddenly burst into rage. "I BROKE A NAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!"
"Narusegawa-san!" Yomiko shouted. "Use your atomic punch, now, while she's stunned!"
"What!" Naru replied.
"Don't ask why! Just do it! She's not Shinobu!"
Naru hesitated for a moment, and then she ran up to the clone, readying her fist. Then…
POW! The attack sent the clone through the roof and into the exosphere, where she was never to be seen again.
Everyone looked at the hole on the roof and stood still, thinking about all that happened in that short moment.
Keitaro stood up and slowly regained his composure. He turned to Yomiko. "What the hell is going on here!"
"As I see it, a clone of Shinobu Maehara was planning to assassinate me. You might have caught on to her, so she wanted to take you out as well. In my line of work, such clones are known as I-jin." She walks over to a few ancient books hidden behind Shinobu's futon. "These are kikou books. I was asked to retrieve these and bring them back to the British Library."
"The British Library?" Naru repeated.
"Okay." Keitaro said. "If that was a clone, where's the real Shinobu?"
"Probably with the I-jin." Yomiko answered. "I'm supposed to ask you if you would like to join the British Library Section A Special Operations Taskforce as its field agents. It's and unorthodox move on the British Library's part."
"A library needs field agents?" Naru asked.
"You and Urashima-san have some truly astonishing powers. My boss, Mr. Joker believed that you have some truly amazing potential. If you joined the British Library, you could put those abilities to good use with some proper training. If you don't want to, we'll leave you carry on with your normal…"
"Of course we're going!" Keitaro interrupted.
"We are?" Naru asked.
"SHINOBU'S BEEN KIDNAPPED FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! WE NEED TO SAVE HER, NOW!"
"Poor Keitaro." Su said. "I think he's lost it."
"I don't think he ever had it." Sarah added.
Joker overheard this through Domino's earpiece and smiled in satisfaction.
(O)
"So these I-jin are the ones responsible for what happened two days ago?" Motoko asked.
Everyone was sitting in the dining room table. Sarah was poking Su.
"That's what we came up with, and the fact that we may have encountered with one today might further prove that statement. I-jin are usually clones of important historical figures, such as Jean Henri Fabre, Otto Lilienthal, and Kenshin Himura. Though the case with Shinobu is completely left field. I have nothing to say about it."
Keitaro and Naru are now in brown vests, black pants (or skirt for Naru), white shirts, and black ties. They're putting on earphones.
"Alright." Naru said. "They're on."
Suddenly, Joker's voice came from their earphones. "Congratulations. You two are now agents of DIET, the British Library Division of Special Operations."
"You know, I always wanted a career in international espionage. I get to hide in places, beat up people, and actually get a date. I can live the life of 007."
"Your codename is The Human Shield." The Joker replied.
An awkward pause filled the room. Then everyone burst into laughter.
Joker wasn't exactly pleased with the reaction. "I don't know what so funny. I thought that name was quite appropriate for a man with your abilities."
"I'm not the one laughing, though." Keitaro responded.
"Anyway," Joker continued. "Narusegawa-san's codename is Miss Fist."
When they heard Joker's statement, they instantly stopped laughing, leaving only dead silence.
"God, that's lame." Kanako replied.
"Worse than 'The Human Shield'?" Keitaro said.
"You got me, there."
"Your training shall begin shortly." Joker said. "Good day, agents."
"Um… yeah." Was the manager's response. He then turned to Naru and whispered to her ear. "Hey, Naru. We're on a DIET."
"You're so corny, Keitaro." They both chuckled, whether Naru wanted to or not.
They apparently didn't turn off their earpieces because Joker overheard this, with crossed arms and a look of irritation on his face.
End Chapter 1
Now review and tell me what you think.
Next Episode of Love-Or-Die Hina
Chapter 2: Hmmm…
Sounds Like Shinobi
Author's Notes:
Daisies symbolize innocence, youth, and gentleness, pretty much Shinobu's personality in a nutshell.
I admit that the name and design for the "Lillith's Egg", the center structure of the new I-jin base, were strict End of Evangelion references. In the movie, a massive entity taking form of the character Rei Ayanami holds a large black sphere, or black moon, if you may. As all the people on Earth began to die, their bodies became liquid and their souls were drawn into this black moon, known as "Lillith's Egg".
You have to admit, the Opening Theme for Samurai Champloo is pretty kick-ass.
GYRAX