Hello! My name is Rocky, and I'm writing these rules here... Dunno how that happened, but yeah. These will be enforced by Prowl, A.K.A. "The Fuzz/ The Man".
Rule 1:
Lilian isn't aloud to stay with Bee for more than twenty minutes.
( They can be together if a responsible adult is there,)
(If there is none, then there not aloud to be together.)
(They get ideas, and it always ends in someone hurt.)
Rule 2:
DO NOT say that you are "dead", "dying" , having a "heart attack", or "sick" around the Hatchet.
(I know from personal experience)
(Ratchet was there and I announced that I was "dying" in front of everyone because I was so overworked.)
(Well, I ended up in the med-bay with a concussion after that episode)
(Yeah, don't do it.)
Rule 3:
The Following are banned from Base:
Horror Movies (Bee, even though he's amazingly brave, is a scaredy cat when it comes to things like that.)
Calvin and Hobbes (I'm going to cry)
Garfield (I'm sobbing, WHY IS PROWL SO CRUEL!)
Myth Busters (Bee and Lilian get ideas, I'm tellin' ya...)
Myth Hunters (Once again, It's Bee and Lilian. Those two are bad when you leave them alone...)
Rule 4:
DO ask Jazz to give you advice on how to hide your illegal stuff from the Prowler.
(Mech has it down to an art he's so good)
(And by "Illegal" I mean all of the Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield comics that I may or may not have hidden everywhere)
(I will never give away my hiding spots.)
(Not even to Bee.)
Rule 5:
Lilian and I aren't allowed to have caffeine.
(It get's Lili SUPER hyper and it makes me sick)
(Last time, we BOTH ended up in the med-bay.)
(Me, conscience, but shaking so bad I couldn't hold anything in my hands)
(Lili was sedated)
Rule 6:
If you hear these things, run.
"I don't know, wasn't the explosion supposed to be bigger?" (Lilian to Bumblebee. I Promise you, the expression on Optimus' face was priceless.)
"What?" (Bumblebee or Barricade. If you hear this come from their mouth, or if they pause and look at you funny if you asked them if they did something, then, please, dear God, run for your life, because something is about to explode or burst into flames)
"Am I missing an Eyebrow?" (Jack to me. The poor baby went along with one of a Lilian and Bee joint plan.)
"No!" (Me, actually. Someone threatened to take away my phone.)
"I'll distract them with A Fan Dance!" (Lilian) "I'll provide the Vocals!" (Me) (Optimus stopped us before we did that. We were fighting cons.)
Rule 7:
The following are not allowed to be said:
"Fight Me!" (Me. I screamed it at Megatron when I was cornered in a con attack trying to, somehow, protect all of the small children that were there. It's a terribly bad idea to say that to Megatron, he almost killed me.)
"Suck my A**!" (Bee, actually. We were fighting cons and this Vehicon was giving him a hard time. He pulled back and screamed it at the con and ohmigod, it was beautiful. He got a good whack from Ratchet's wrench for that.)
"I reject your version of reality and substitute it with my own!" (Lili. It was the day Optimus said Mythbusters was banned from Base. She had an attitude the next day because of it.)
Rule 8:
All officers are supposed to be in full uniform when a diplomat comes.
(I'm not an officer, but Prowler told me that since I'm in charge of writing the rules, I have to have one serious rule.)
(Sorry Lennox)
Aw man...
Rule 9:
Please, For the love of God, STOP quoting Calvin and Hobbes!
"Reality continues to ruin my life." (Me. I got stuck in the brig because I did something stupid in a con attack. In my defence, at least we won.)
"It's no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me!" (Miko said this one day in front of all of the Bots, and Boss Bot and Ratchet forced her to go through Mental Therapy.)
"I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius"(Lili) "What's misunderstood about you?"(Raph) "Nobody thinks I'm a genius." (This was an unintentional quote, mostly on Raph's part, but it was still hilarious. Bee was cracking up and Optimus and Ultra Magnus kept on giving Lili this look of utter disappointment/horror.)
(There's more to this, but I think y'all'll get the Idea.)
Rule 10:
Yes, I just said y'all. I don't care who you are, If you ask me if I just said "Y'all", I will fight you.
(And Jazz will join me.)
(It's annoying and rude to ask that.)
(Don't insult the way someone talks.)
Rule 11:
Please, PLEASE, watch the kids here!
(This one is for ALL of the base parents)
(I once saw a three year old walking around the autobot's hanger, and they didn't even know he was there.)
(The poor baby was crying softly and Optimus almost stepped on him.)
(Had I not been there, the kid would've been crushed. And so, I screamed for OP to watch where he's stepping.)
(The base parent's were totally scared and actually didn't know where their kid was because he was being watched in the daycare. Somehow he wandered out, and no one heard him. It turns out, The poor baby's mute.)
(Well, now the little guy has a Cybertronian guardian to make sure he doesn't run away. Bumblebee adores the kid, and always coodles and cuddles him too.)
(So, yeah, watch yo' kids.)
Rule 12:
No more Hide 'n' Seek.
(The bots just about flipped shit when they couldn't find Raph and Micheal(The mute three year old).)
(They found the boys in Raph's room, asleep)
(I was just about to win when someone screamed "Rocky's Missing!")
(Ratchet had to force me out of that hiding spot)
(I was in the vents.)
Rule 13:
With that said, no more hiding in random places.
(I like hiding everywhere, and Mikey will join me 'cause he loves me.)
(And the bot's, for some reason, will lose shit because they have no clue where Mikey and I are.)
(We were in my room, asleep, because Mikey needed to take a nap.)
(What's confusing to me is how did Bee and Jazz not know? I texted them as soon as I took Mikey out of the room...)
(Eh. *shrugs*)
Rule 14:
No more action movies.
(Bee and Lili get ideas)
Rule 15:
Jazz is NOT ALLOWED to supervise any dangerous activity.
(This includes fireworks.)
(Jazz is stupid enough to go along with any type of stupid idea.)
Rule 16:
DON'T give Lilian any caffeine after 9:00.
(She will go insane.)
(Ratchet had to sedate her.)
Rule 17:
DO play Bohemian Rhapsody over the Comms and PA system.
(It's fun to see Bee and Raf randomly dancing in the hallways and a few soldiers dancing.)
(...)
(You have no proof it was me...)
Rule 18:
Don't ask the bots any deep, human physiological questions.
(They glitch.)
(And hatchet gets annoyed.)
Rule 19:
Please DO ask Bumblebee to sing you a song.
(He is literally the best.)
(He's probably better than me.)
Rule 20:(we made it guys! High fives all around!)
Please don't scream " RELEASE THE BABEH!" every time one of the smaller base kids start going on a rampage.
(It makes them mad, and I'll have to calm them down.)
(Only ends with tears of frustrations for me and me alone.)