Ness was walking to the kitchen one morning, December 16th to be exact, going to get his daily breakfast of cereal, eggs, bacon, and of course pancakes. He wasn't surprised that he was the first one up this time, yesterday was a complete doozy. Cloud was set to battle that day as an official Smash character and both Corrin and Bayonetta were confirmed into Smash. It was another Smash celebration party and everybody stayed up late dancing and drinking. Ness was probably the only one who slept on time as he was the only one who remembered their early smash battles the following day.
Ness saw the piles of bodies laying on the floor of the living room, from Fox to Shulk and to even Bowser, they were either scattered haphazardly or clumped together in a pile. Ness couldn't help but feel bad seeing Falco and Peach laying there as they were part of the first morning battle.
He walked into the kitchen and oddly enough smelled cooking. That's weird... He figured he was the only one up. He looked around to see a woman surrounded in salt, a man cooking, and oddly enough somebody hugging Lucas tightly.
"Hey Lucas," Ness said.
"Yeah," Lucas replied.
"Why are there piles of salt in the kitchen?" Ness asked.
"Because all of it won't fit into the basement," Lucas answered.
Ness didn't want to say anything because he knew if he did then he would be forced to get involved with it some way or another.
"Is this your boyfriend, son?" Cloud, who held onto Lucas, asked.
"Cloud that isn't your son," Corrin said, flipping eggs.
"Shut up! You're just jealous that he's beautiful!" Cloud said.
Great... more weirdos. Ness thought. At least Corrin seems somewhat sane... That left only the ballot winner swimming in salt to wonder about.
"You're Bayonetta right?" Ness asked.
The woman had stopped moving in salt. "Yes I am," she said.
"... Why are you swimming in salt?" Ness asked.
She gave a smirk.
"Because all this salt is too delicious to not dive into."
And everybody forgot Corrin was there.
...
AN: Congrats to both Corrin and Bayonetta for making it in (as well as Cloud)! Everybody is salty and I can't help but laugh at how whiny and demanding people are. I was satisfied with Ness but was in tears when Lucas was revealed so I need nothing else. You plan on selling your Wii U? Fine. I'm still here with a bottle of pseudo wine laughing.
EDIT: Hopefully that's better. Thank you to the reviewer who pointed out that I needed more commas, didn't realize that since I just wrote this on a whim.