Hi guys, just a one shot i've had sitting around in my folders for over two years now. I'm nervous about posting it. It's nothing big or revolutionary, nothing special really except that it's personal, like really personal. Hope you ejoy!

I needed to look at you again, to remember what I had forgotten.

Time passes and things fly me by without really noticing how life altering they could be, if only I'd give them the time of day.

I just needed to know, to see if you had changed at all. So my mouse is hovering over your profile picture, over your name and I feel so tempted to click but I hold back. If I do this now, I would waste the entire time I spent getting over you.

It's a tough call to make and I'm not sure which way is wrong or right. I assume it's all kind of grey now. We were black and white when we met but our past seems nothing but grey. However as grey as I feel the present still is, I find myself in need of some black and white perspective. We were always the thing that neither knew which way would be wrong or which would be right. So maybe I should just click. Satisfy this need, this desire that's been eating at me for the last hours. Ever since you posted something so trivial, so daily, and so simple on your wall.

Your name just popped up in my view like I hadn't seen it in ages. It was a rush of adrenalin, the clammy hands, the nervousness, the chest that felt too small for my expanded lungs, my heart beating so crazy I was sure I was going to faint in the most ungraceful way one could tumble to the floor, madly overthrown by love. You we're my first love, the truth after so many lies, the breath of air that I finally could breath, the pacemaker that reminded my heart to beat again, the life I long ago dreamed of suddenly looked like a real future. I suddenly felt fifteen years old again, really seeing you for the first time and knowing there was no stopping it. I had to love you, even if it would be my downfall.

I guess there is some level of truth to what I've been taught. When you believe something is going to happen, you know it and you act like it, you feel it in your bones and accept it before it's even happened, then most likely it is to happen.

And so it was. You were my downfall.

And I've been healing this past year finally, scars slowly fading, thoughts and letters, gifts and photos went from being reminders of an immense pain to memories of a time, however short it was, I was in love for the very first time. I keep that stuff in a box no wand I write you these letters I'll never send, telling you all about my life and I feel a bit lighter each time I slide that pink lid back on the black box.

I know you will be the story I'll tell my children after their first heartbreak, it'll be our stuff and letters that I'll show them while I tell them all about high school. You'll be the name on my lips when I tell my girlfriend who was my first love. But I know it won't be your name I'll whisper when I kiss my wife goodnight. It won't be your face I dream about at night. You won't be the first thing that slips into my mind when morning comes.

And where that used to hurt, it now feels like an everyday fact. Something I know is going to be so, something I accept something that will fulfill itself and oddly enough, I am perfectly fine with that.

I smile and direct my mouse towards the log out sign, I've got better things to do than reminisce about the past.

You see, I can only take the advice I gave you a long time ago.

Let go and start my future.

PM me if you've got any prompts or something. I'm itching to write something since i'm suffering from writer's block on my other stories. Maybe prompts/oneshots can help.

Reviews are love.