Free as an angel
Written by Gerardsredskittle666
I do not own Harry Potter, its characters or anything JK invented or presented by WB movies. I will never intend and have never intended to make profit from my writing of this fanfiction.
AN: I wrote this in my moment of pain . I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. Heavy themes of suicide, if it triggers you I advise not reading it. I do not endorse suicide or depression. If you feel this way you should get help. And now onto the fanfiction…
START
Harry approached the tower with more courage than he needed facing The Dark Lord time and time again. Standing at its height, he felt little fear as he looked down at the grounds of his home. He imagined his mangled corpse with an evil smile. What if he failed? What if thee was a spell preventing him being crushed should he 'accidently fall'? Like a cushioning charm or a levitation charm?
Harry looked at his battered muggle watch…it was still too early for life. Everyone was sleeping and all was quiet. It was very relaxing actually. Should he write a note? For his teachers who had faithfully watched over him, his friends who had stood by him or maybe the Headmaster? He knew they would never understand the pain of living. Snape would understand. He had seen all the signs of one who was suffering, who needed an escape.
So he just sat serenely wondering what he should do. Take his life and risk everyone finding out about his feelings or bury it away to grow like an infected wound? It would be all too easy too kill himself. So many ways – overdose seemed abit messy but effective, drowning caused euphoria before you died and if you had the will for it was effective, cutting a vital artery seemed messy but it was quite beautiful. But no he had chosen jumping – it was effective and he didn't care about the mess. His death was not a statement to be figured out. It was simply the last act of a desperate man.
So as the sun rose higher in its sky giving Hogwarts a golden glow, Harry smiled and seemed to take it as a sign. Step by step to the edge he felt lighter and freer. He entered the gold light like an entrance to the heavens beyond. The boy felt nothing- not even the cold air rushing past him. As the body hit the ground with a thud and limbs twisted horribly from impact – Harry was free.
No terrified screams of the first years discovering him, not shrieks of pain of his head of house and not even the head masters silent tears. His friends could do nothing for him, they would try anyway. The only surprise was professor Snape who had seemed more upset than everyone else.
He was quiet and seemed unable to express the emotions he felt. Quickly getting depressed and withdrawn from everyone. One night, he spoke to Lily; unaware Harry must be listening too.
"Hey Lily, I'm sorry about your son. I was supposed to watch him. I would have seen this coming, if I had not hated him so for his father. Was this my fault? The other teachers would not have noticed and they were watching and caring for him! " he gave a great sigh.
Harry was unsurprised about how Snape felt but the extreme of the emotions did shock him. Would he have let Snape save him? Would he have got passed the old grudge? Would he have wanted to be saved enough to get passed the old grudge?
Harry smiled for the first time in ages, someone did care.
AN: Thanks for reading and usual read and review. Thanks for all your support.