Watching From Afar
Why is it that the moment we realize what we want it's suddenly out of reach? Why is it that when the answer to all your problems is standing right in front of you, you are too blind to see it? Why is it that we never know what we've got till it's gone?
I wonder all this and more as I watch you, my friend, my aibou, my love…, as you talk with your friends, a smile gracing your rosy lips. I yearn to reach out and touch you, to separate the barrier that's been holding us apart for so long, but I can't… you're so happy, so wonderfully, perfectly at peace and I can't find it in myself to take that away…
I watch as he reaches down and tilts your chin upward, his cold eyes boring into your pure amethyst ones. There is no soft sweetness as he examines your beauty, no passion, no love…, but you don't see it aibou. You just smile and press your mouth to his, sending a jolt through my heart. I wonder if you would kiss him if you knew what it did to me. If you would tell him you love him if you knew that every time you did I die a little inside. But I can't dwell on this thought. I had my chance, but I let you slip through my fingers.
I'll never forgive myself for letting you go aibou. I lived along time and never before has anything been such a torment to me as you. To love someone and not have that love returned. And the worst part is, I didn't know. I never knew until that day you came home, that beautiful bright smile on your face, exclaiming that Kiaba had just asked you out. That day I felt a knife pierce my heart. And that pain has yet to go away. Even now as I watch you wrap your arms around his waist I wonder why you chose him. Kiaba of all people! He doesn't love you, he never did. You can't see the way his eyes constantly dart over to Joey, hunger and desire emanating in his cold pupils. He's using you! Using you! But you don't see aibou. You're too blinded by your unrequited love to see.
And you can never know. I could never tell you because it would make you unhappy and I hate to see you unhappy, almost as much as I hate seeing you in someone else's arms.
I long to hold you, to kiss you, to tell you just how much I love you. But I can't. I could never bring myself to confuse you when you're already so happy. Maybe someday I can look at you the way you gaze at him.
Maybe one day the time will come when you crave my touch as much as I crave yours. Maybe one day I will be the one to bring you happiness, to return your love. But for now aibou all I can do is watch you… from afar…
AN: Well that didn't come out as well as I imagined it. Oh well. I still hoped you liked it! Please R&R!