Weird little idea that sprung almost fully formed from my addled brain. You know when you're tired and kinda cranky, and sharing a room with somone who really doesn't want to go to sleep...?

In my mind, both brothers have consumed a not inconsiderable amount of alcohol prior to this conversation.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"Hey, Dean?"

"What?"

"Pirates or ninjas, and why?"

"Huh. Ninjas, obviously. Stealth, speed, invisibility – clear winners. The pirates would be too clumsy, and probably drunk. On rum."

"But pirates have cannons. Ninjas would have bows and arrows, at best. Also, pirates have teamwork. They're always in crews. Ninjas are solo assassins. To be honest, I think you're underestimating pirates."

"Okay, let's lay down the basic deathmatch ground rules. Equal numbers of ninjas and pirates and neither side gets weapons."

"But ninjas have martial arts skills. Thats what makes them ninjas. Its not fair."

"Thats why ninjas would win."

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Hey, Dean."

"What now?"

"Roman centurions versus cowboys, no weapons."

"Do they get armour?"

"Yes."

"Cowboys. The armour would be really heavy in a fight. Plus, centurions are all officers, right? They'd all try to give orders, while the cowboys just got on with it."

"I dunno, man ...Cowboys wouldn't be trained fighters, and the centurions would be fitter."

"Good point, but I'll stand by cowboys. Centurions would be all like 'Who are these freaks?' but in Latin. Cowboys would be like 'Roman soldiers, I've heard of them' so they wouldn't be as scared. The psychological edge of facing a known quantity."

"Where did you learn all those long words?"

"Bite me, bitch."

"Jerk."

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Hey, Dean. You or me?"

"In a deathmatch?"

"Yeh."

"Both of us. Why the hell would we be on opposite sides?"

"But if we were, which one of us would win?"

"That's a sick question."

"So give me a sick answer."

"...No-one would win. One of us might kill the other, but no-one would win."

"Wow. That's Hallmark for Hunters."

"What's wrong with you? Did you evolve beyond the need for sleep while I wasn't looking?"

"I'm just...not tired."

"Well, I am. Cram a sock in it, little brother."

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Hey, Dean?"

"For Christ's sake, Sam, what? What?!"

"Uh..Robots or aliens?"

"Aliens, and havn't you got anything else to do? Like, I don't know, sleep?!"

"Why aliens?"

"Why can't you shut up?"

"..."

"Because they're alive. Better problem solving skills. Also if the dudes have space travel they're smart enough to build alien robots that can kick the earth robots collective asses. That, Sammy, is why I would pick goddamn aliens over goddamn robots!"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes, okay, fine. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, but -"

"I'll live. Please, in the name of all things X-rated, go to sleep. Or at least let me sleep. I'm wasted and really, really pissed off."

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Astronauts or cavemen?"

"You're fucking kidding me."

"Last one, I swear."

"Cavemen. When was the last time you saw a fighting astronaut? Now go to sleep or shut up, or else I'll have to make you unconcious in a more painful way."

"'Night, Dean. Sleep well."

"You too, Sammy. Freak."