Hey guys! How you doing?
This fic is actually based off the original song. However, this is not a songfic (apart from the last line)I was listening to the song this morning and inspiration struck! My mom's also just been involved in a car accident so that probably had something to do with it as well.
Warning: Contains a tiny mention of self harm.
Anyway, enjoy!
"There's something I want to say." Merlin felt his heart crack was the words tumbled from Arthur's mouth
"You're not going to say goodbye." The warlock counted, trying hard not to let tears slip down his cheek
"No, Merlin...Everything you've done. I know now. For me, for Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build..."
"You'd of done it without me."
"Maybe. I want to say...something I've never said to you before..." Arthur started, turning his head to face Merlin. "Thank you." and with that he was gone.
"Arthur...No! Arthur!" Merlin cried, scrambling to find a pulse. "Arthur! Arthur. Come on." But the king was already gone.
Merlin tore himself from the dream, breathing heavy and heart rate running a muck. The warlock sat up and tried to fight the tears back, unsuccessfully of course, and before he knew it, his thin body was wracked with massive sobs.
Why oh why hadn't he of gotten there soon enough? He could've walked a little bit faster or been more efficient while taking Morgana's army out. But he hadn't and now here he was, ten years later, living in a magic made cottage besides the lake of Avalon, desperately waiting for Arthur to arise from it.
When Arthur had first died, Merlin couldn't face going back to Camelot. It was then he made his cottage and moved in, his mind set on never leaving his position until his king had risen again.
The resolve was broken a little when he was found a month later by Leon and Percival, the only remaining nights of the original round table. They had tried to convince the damaged warlock to come back to Camelot with them. However, after a lot of though, Merlin had refused to go with them, saying that his new place was next to the lake.
On that exact same day for the next two years, the nights would come and see him, until he received a letter one day saying that they had both died in a battle defending the queen.
Gaius was the next to die, leaving the world peacefully while sleeping a week after Leon and Percival had died. Merlin just marked him down on a list he had made when Arthur had died.
A little under a month later, Merlin received a letter from Ealdor, announcing that his mother had succumbed to a high fever. The warlock had just numbly marked her down on the list.
The last one to go was Gwen, passing away three years after her husband, poisoned by visiting nobles. The day Gwen had entered the spirit world, Merlin had stood with his feet in the lake of Avalon, staring unseeing at the list of dead people he had made. The next day, the battle for Camelot began, as Gwen had ended up dying childless.
No one ended up winning the battle, as the intense fighting ended up completely destroying the castle and killing all of the people who lived there.
Now left all alone in the world, the most powerful warlock to ever walk the earth could be found sitting in his cottage, staring at the wall. Waiting for his king to return.
With each passing day, Merlin would get from his bed and either go and sit by the lake, or in a chair inside the house, waiting for any sort of sign that Arthur was coming back. And in the first ten years, he never did.
Eventually, the built up mental pain became to much and Merlin resulted to self harm, leaving slash marks all the way up and down his arms, legs, and stomach
But wasn't until the day of the dream that Merlin gave up hope. It was on that day he decided the dragons words were false and his kind was never coming back. It was on that day that Merlin just laid back down on his bed and closed his eyes again. His immorality the only thing keeping him alive.
Say something, I'm giving up on you