My first one shot. It's kind of sad. Actually, it's depressing. Ahh, sorry. I love this song, and yeah, just read it. Hopefully you'll like it.
Disclaimer : I do not own Hannah Montana or this song.
-------
Leaving my heart, my flaws all hanging out
All i see inside is so ordinary..
I try to hide it, but I can't. The fact that I'm so insecure about myself that it makes me sick. Lately, it's been worse. I'm in highschool now and people tend to notice my tomboy style more. They pick it out a lot, too. Sure, Amber and Ashley harrassed me all through middle school but now.. it's just different. Even my best friend Miley doesn't seem to like it. Take that one time for instance; When she begged and begged for me to let her give me a make over. And she did. She wanted me to dress more girly. Can't people see thats just not me? Even if I do get more guys that way.
I have flaws, everybody does. But when your best friend is Miley Stewart / Hannah Motana, it gets to you more. She's perfect, and I'm just the pathetic sidekick. And then you have Oliver, he's not much of a 'macho man' or 'jock' as he'd like to be, but even he's happy with himself. I remember one time, when Amber and Ashley claimed me and Miley as 'losers', Oliver tried to act like he didn't know us. That hurt. And now, sitting here at the beach, watching Miley bask in all her glory, flirting with Jake Ryan. Yeah, thats right, Jake Ryan. Cute, famous Jake Ryan. Who am I spending time with? Curly fries and a large Diet Coke.
I can't find nothing special hiding in me
And I can't look at myself
You tell me it's there to see
But, all I see is so Ugly...
"Today was awesome!" Miley belted out as we walked into her house. I sighed and sat on the couch, shrugging and giving her a small 'yeah' as my response. Heck, Miley was so caught up in herself she didn't even notice I was feeling miserable. I always noticed when she was upset, why couldn't she do the same for me? She sat down next to me and I got a huge wiff of Victoria's Secret 'love spell' hit straight at me, it was a little much if you ask me.
She turned at me, smiling gleefully with her perfect pearly white teeth. She started rambling on about how Jake was being so sweet, and blah blah blah. Does she really think I want to hear about how the cutest boy in like, the world, was crushing on her. Because I didn't.
I've really tried to listen to all you've said
If I could only sleep a long while
Maybe tomorrow I'd feel a speck worthwhile
"You Okay?" Miley asked after her ramblings. Gee, so she does notice. Oliver now had joined us. It's been about three hours. Yeah, it took her that long to notice. Oliver looked at me knowingly. I confide in Oliver, I really do. And he's the only person in the world, besides myself, who knows about my self esteem issues. He sat down next to me and smiled. And just that made me feel better, seeing that I do have someone who understands. Its a good feeling.
But still, he tells me to not think of myslef like that. That I am worthwhile. That I am perfect, like Miley. I've tried, but I can't, I just can't listen to what Oliver is saying. I feel like he's just telling me what I want to hear, so I won't feel so bad about myself. Well, it's too late for that, isn't it?
I wish I could feel as good as you do
So I'll follow your lead
Hoping to see something good in me
"Lilly, I can't believe you feel that way." Miley said sympathetic, rubbing my back for comfort. Yeah, I told her. It all spilled out. I couldn't help it! She was bombarding me with questions; Whats wrong? Is it a boy? Oh no, what did Amber and Ashley do now!?. So, you see? I had to tell her.
"Come on. Let's go out, all of us." Miley smiled, looking up at Oliver who nodded in agreement. I forced a smile, and nodded as well. How does Miley feel so good all the time? So confident? But mostly, how is she such a good liar? Theres obviously nothing special about me and yes Miley, believe it, because I do feel that way. We headed for the door, Miley was skipping. Perky, much? Maybe, just maybe, if I followe her lead I'll be like that too, I'll feel good about myself and not want to punch the mirror everytime I look in it. Miley and Oliver think it's just a phase, but it's not, it's my life.
And I can't look at myself
You tell me it's there to see but all I see is so ugly..
My insides are turning inside out
Leaving my heart, my flaws all hanging out
----------
Idon't know why I wrote this. I guess because I've been feeling down lately. And this songs perfectly describe its. You know, how I'm feeling and all. I thought I'd write a story about it. Just to make me feel like I'm not the only person in the world who feels this way. Okay, I'm being all depressing, sorry about that. I decided to Lilly because honestly, it must be hard being friends with a girl like Miley. IMO, I think Lilly is prettier, but thats not how the show makes it to be. So, Lilly, if you actually feel this way, I feel for you girl! Haha. Review :)