Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Summary: Considering someone as your best friend means you'll have to share emotions and secrets with each other. For me, not all of it can be told, especially if your best friend is the one involved.

Frustrated

Have you been doubtful before? Have you felt cheated? Have you felt betrayed? Have you become unsure of things? Have you act like a crazy person? Have you became paranoid? Have you been so frustrated?

With just one thing, I came to the point where I can only sit and watch everything silently.

I haven't have any clarifications at all. I just observed the changes that happened. The way he looks at my best friend, the way he acts when she's there, those intense gaze he's giving her, those teasing words he utter whenever she's there. He denies it, but I can see everything. I'm not blind and stupid like everyone else.

'What can I do?' I always ask my self that. I can't afford to lose him, because he is so dear to me. I can't lose my best friend either, because she's important too and she's such a kind girl.

I still remember the time where in he hasn't seen her. He was accusing her of being a bisexual and that maybe we have a relationship because of our closeness. He doesn't want me clinging on her. He doesn't want me talking to anybody but him. I opposed him and continued my friendship with my best friend.

Every time that I had a fight with him, she is there to hear me out. Whenever my mood is down because of him, she comforts me. If ever something good happens to us, she is there to smile for me. The same thing happens: she's willing to tell everything that happens to her; The time when her ex-boyfriend stalk him, and when that ex-boyfriend cheated on him when they were still an item. We tell our secrets to each other.

When he came here to visit me, I asked him to accompany me to one of my best friend's house who's father died because of cancer. She is coming there too, since we are all best friends.

We first dropped by to a mall and buy ourselves some food. After that, we came to the bus stop, where she and I will meet.

When I saw her, I gave her a peck in the cheek and dragged her to the stop. He followed suit and we all waited until the bus arrived. I sat in the left side with him, while she sat on the opposite site.

I was sitting close to him and I can feel his gaze on her.

"I didn't know that her nose is so small. Can I tease her?" He whispered.

"Don't! She's sensitive." I told him. Frankly, she's not sensitive. I just don't want him to tease her because I feel jealous. Why is he feeling close to her anyway? Both of them just heard each other from me.

Our day passed like that and he came back to his work after that. He asked me if he can add him on Facebook and I agreed. Nothing's wrong with that... right?

Another week passed and he visited me again. I learned how to read someone's future in love with the opposite sex by knocking the syllables of that person's name on top of the cards. I first had my future read by one of my best friend, which is Hotaru. I knocked on the card with his syllables and guess what? It says there that he loves me and another girl who is my friend. I felt my heart ache. Even if it's just a card, I have this incredible sixth sense when it comes to his feelings towards someone.

I decided to read his, and he knocks my name first. It is said that we're just friends and I love somebody else. Cut that crap. I don't love anyone except him!

On the second try, he knocks his ex-girlfriend's name. It is said there that he loves somebody else and they are just friends.

On the third try, I convinced him to know his future in love with someone who I know that he had an affair with and he did. It is said that he loves somebody else, again.

The last one, he knocked an unknown name. I still continued reading his future, and it is said there that he loves somebody else, and they have a mutual friend.

I asked him who it was.

"It's Anna."

With just one word, I felt my heart ache once again. I know that she likes somebody else, but seeing him like this, acting weird, it hurts. I calmed my self down and became cold.

When he used his facebook the night I was using it too, I never once seen him comment on my wall or post any status. But why did he comment on her? I was puzzled once again, and never did I let my mind assume something unbearable.

The next day he uses his facebook again, I saw him post on my wall saying "... MIDGET...!"

I smiled at this and replied.

I ticked on the home page and there I was, my eyes widened and my heart aching even more. It says:

Natsume Hyuuga to Anna Umenomiya

... MIDGET...!

3 minutes ago . Like . Comment . See Wall-to-Wall

.

.

.

While...

.

.

.

Natsume Hyuuga to Mikan Sakura

... MIDGET...!

5 minutes ago . Like . Comment . See Wall-to-Wall

.

.

.

Why did he post the same thing in her wall? And he posted it first in her?

Should I believe what my brain is saying? Or should I have faith on him?

Should I come to the conclusion of him liking her?

Everything came so fast that my mind went wild.

What if he leaves me for her?

What if they become a couple?

What will I do?

I contemplated for awhile, letting my self cope with everything. It must be hard, but when that time comes, maybe I should just let them be. Look at them while they're happy, see how they tease each other and held each others hand.

I am not being exaggerated. I'm just being realistic. I don't want to get to the point where in everything in front of me vanished and I am not yet ready to handle it. Mind you, change is the only thing permanent in this world.

Sigh...

I never felt this confused before, knowing that my boyfriend prioritized on teasing and giving his attention to my best friend more than me.

-End-