A Thousand Deaths
Sherlock is burn, John is broken and the 'woman' approaches.
He feels like he's been dead for a long time, even if his funeral has just been performed. He's not offended that no one came (besides John and Mss. Hudson). He died in disgrace like Moriarty intended. People trust too much in all the nonsense's television and media.
Not John. Never John.
He told him a lie to save him the pain, he wanted John angry and scorn by his own words, so hurt to make him forget him faster. He doesn't have a life now, but John deserves to find someone else and move on.
The stupid fool didn't believe it, he's crying, drowning in sorrow. Like a thousand deaths for both of them. So close of each other and yet never together again.
"So…you win…"
"He promised to burn me…" he says not bothering to look at the woman besides him.
He gives John a final gaze as if a loving caress between lovers before he leaves the site of his grave.
"You should feel grateful, no man has ever defeated Moriarty in his own game, and no man has survived him either. He's dead and you are not. That makes it a victory over death himself."
"He won anyway"
"You look sad…" she said.
"I am…"
"¿Did you cry?"
"I did…"
Was a strange moment, he thinks. John was down there hearing all the lies and he didn't believe him. He thought John would and he did not. Then he was crying like a baby, so very afraid, so very broken inside. As if something was released from the deeps of his chest. Something very well hidden for years .
"I didn't like it" he says to the woman finally looking at her eyes. She was distastefully dressed in a bright red coat. Like some black widow with no shame et all.
"¿Never felt it before?"
"And I never will"
"So…you love John"
"Of course I do, I cried for him, not about me, I don't care about me"
"I'll take care of you; I been dead longer than you, and I must repay my debt"
"I have nowhere to go"
"You can come with me, we can make a living, have money, have fun"
"I'm not in love with you"
"I know, and you know I am"
"I don't have anything to offer you, not my love, not my desire, nothing"
"¿Why did you call me then?"
"To have dinner I guess…"
+1+
They sat in a dinner on the airport. They both are in plain sight and sometimes that's the best disguise one can have. The waiter tells him 'You look a lot like that bloke, the one that jumped off the rooftop in San Barts, nasty way to go'
He smiles and says. "People keep telling me I look like him"
"I had a friend that looked like Jude Law, he got laid pretty often"
The woman snorts in amusement. Then the waiter is off and they are quietly looking at each other. He thinks dates and dinners are so over rated.
"¿Why did you came to me?. ¿Why not your brother?." She asks, and he can see she's just curious.
"My brother doesn't trust in his own people. I don't either. I suspect Moriarty has ears everywhere I could go for help"
"That's right, people will do anything for money, how do you know I'm on your side?, how do you know he didn't pay me too?"
"I don't know, I just chose to trust you"
She smiles. "Well, that's nice"
"Is it?"
"Yes it is, trust may be the first step"
"Oh yes, so said the conventional standards in relationships', that and communication"
"Will you cry your heart out for me, for John?"
"I must say Its temping, but not thank you. After we get there, I will take my own pat. I must take my revenge, I must try to free John"
"Why did you call me?" she asked again.
"I was hungry"
"Well, you are terrible company"
He smiled. Yes he was.
"I died today, it must be that"
"Most likely"
"I consider you one of my friends"
"I feel privileged"
"And currently the only one I have left"
"So you are opening your heart after all"
"So it seems…"
"Its so sad you decided to be like this now, and not when you were with John"
"We all make mistakes, even me"
Even me. He said to himself. John. I'm sorry.