There I was. Standing outside of her apartment, contemplating whether or not I should knock on her door. It had been three months, one week, five days, four hours, sixteen minutes and twenty-seven seconds since she'd walked off my front porch in the pouring rain and yes, I had been keeping count. I had made a promise to her father that I would stay away from her, to keep her safe. I knew that it would hurt me, because I had loved her even before most boys were interested into girls. I would fantasize about what it would be like to be with her. How it would feel to hold her hand, to smell the aroma of her perfume, to kiss her soft, red, cherry-flavored lip gloss, and then I finally got my chance.
Elated would be an understatement to what I was feeling when she would go on a date with me. I was stuttering and fumbling with my words. I stared at the ceiling, at my shoes, ANYTHING to keep from looking into her dark, ivy-green eyes, because I knew I would lose all speaking ability once I did. But when she said yes and invited me to dinner with her at her apartment, it took all the self-control I had in my body to not start jumping and pumping my fists into the air.
Our date kind of got off to a rocky start. I learned that her father just so happened to be NYPD's police chief. That alone was intimidating enough, but I also found out that he wasn't Spider-Man's biggest fan. He saw him (aka me) as some vigilante who swung around the city beating up low-life thugs and petty thieves. Uh…I was trying to HELP you sir! I webbed up this guy who was trying to steal a car and the police tried to arrest me! That's just not right man! Anyway, every time her father said something derogatory about Spider-Man, I kindly told him that he was just trying to make New York City a safer place. This went on for a few minutes before Gwen intervened and suggested that we walk outside.
We walked out to a star-filled sky and the view we had from atop her apartment building was absolutely breathtaking. However, it couldn't hold a candle to the girl that was standing right beside me. My God, she looked absolutely gorgeous. I didn't think it was possible for her to get anymore beautiful, but she somehow managed to do just that. They way the moonlight shined on her creamy, white skin and how the light breeze blew her long, blonde hair made her look like a goddess. As I stood on that rooftop, I decided I would reveal to her my dirty little secret. That the man who her father was trying to take down and arrest was standing right in front of her. I couldn't find the words to say that wouldn't totally ruin the moment and I ended up just stuttering like the awkward fuck that I am. She started to turn and walk away, when without thinking, I shot a web at her waist, spun her around and pressed our lips together.
First off, that was the most AMAZING feeling I had ever experienced in my entire life. For years, I had dreamed of just holding her close to me and kissing her. Pressing her body against mine, my lips against hers, and now, here I was. She tasted like cherries and her lips felt like velvet pressed against mine. Even though it was my first real kiss, I could say without a doubt, it was the best one I'd ever had.
After she had figured out what had happened, she tried to say something before I told her to just shut up and kept kissing her. During this heated make-out session, her mother walked out and caught us. That was certainly a mood killer. As we all began to walk back inside, I heard the sound of sirens blaring through the city. Knowing that there was some sort of danger near, I quickly suited up and jumped off the roof. I left Gwen on the rooftop, headed towards whatever or whoever was causing trouble.
The weeks and months that followed were some of the happiest and most depressing moments of my life. After our awkward first date, Gwen and I continued to see each other and soon we were officially a couple. We spent nearly every free moment we had with each other and everything was going great, until that terrible October day. I had recently been trying to take down some kind of giant lizard freak when it attacked my school. I ended up following it into the sewers where I discovered that this lizard freak was actually Dr. Curt Connors. He had been a friend of my dad's and had worked with him about 10 years ago, before my parents ran away. Dr. Connors had developed a formula using lizard DNA to help him grow his arm that had been missing for a long time. It worked, but in the process, he ended up turning himself into a giant lizard mutant. He was going to attack Oscorp, where Gwen was developing a cure for everyone he had infected with this formula. While I was trying to prevent him from spreading his formula across the city, Gwen's father (who had learned my identity not long before) followed us up to the roof, where he ended up sacrificing himself while I dispensed the cure. Before he died, he made me make a promise to him. A promise I didn't want to make, let alone keep, for me to leave Gwen alone. He and I both knew that New York needed Spider-Man and we knew that he would make enemies. If my enemies were to find out my identity, it would put everyone I love into danger. I didn't want to make the promise, but I made it to him regardless. It was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life.
Gwen's family had Captain Stacy's funeral a few days later. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to hold her and comfort her, but I couldn't. It broke my heart to have to leave Gwen to deal with her father's death alone. I was surprised when she showed up at my front door, asking me where the hell I had been. She told me that everyone showed up to her dad's funeral except the one person she wanted to show up: me.
She began to tear up as she poured all of her emotions onto me and I lost all control and began to tear up myself. Before she walked away, she asked me very bluntly, "He made you promise him, didn't he?" I didn't answer and just looked away, but I didn't have to answer. She already knew the truth, and nothing I could say would heal the hurt I had caused so I just said nothing. I watched her walk off my porch and I headed inside before I broke down on my front porch.
Now, here I was. All these months later, I was standing at her front door. I had stood there for what had seemed like hours. I contemplated whether I should knock. A part of me wanted to knock on the door and just fall on my knees and beg for her forgiveness, while another part wanted to just walk away. Let her just move on with her life, because I would just reopen old wounds. All these thoughts became overshadowed by the sound of me knocking on her door.