That Arrogant Toe-rag!

Summary: It's Lily's 7th and last year at Hogwarts. She can't believe she's Head Girl, but what she can't believe more is the Head Boy. Will he actually be human this year? Or is it just another hoax to play around with her emotions?

Authors Note: This is my first story, so go ahead please I'm begging you, flame all you want, as long as it has a POINT! I love constructive criticism, it's the best kind of criticism there is in my book. I love it even more that the "Oh my goodness I absolutely LOVE this story! Keep it up!" reviews. I like those too, don't get me wrong, but they don't help much. Lets go constructive criticism all the way! Lol.

Disclaimer: I am not richer than the queen of England, I don't even live in Europe, so get a clueee, I'm not JKR.

Chapter One: The New Head Girl . . . and Boy

Lily Evans was lying on her back underneath the covers of her bed. Her auburn hair was knotted and messy, and her pretty green eyes were staring up at the ceiling. She had, just a moment ago, received her Hogwarts letter. Although she would never admit it Lily had been almost positive that this year she would be asked to be Hogwarts' Head Girl. She had the grades, the reputation, and most of all, the spirit necessary for the job.

The spirit in question was no doubt a feisty one, and almost (as said by her friends, at least in a joking manner) as pig-headed as the one person she disliked the most. She was stubborn to a fault, and never went back on her word. This spirit also gave her the drive to be the best she was at everything she did. It infuriated her to no end when someone was better then her at something, especially when they had little to no drive.

There was only one person that she had ever met who possessed these traits so…. so to the dot that Lily was positive he must have been the Devil's Spawn out to get her.

Now still lying in her bed at 10:30 (something Lily never did unless deathly ill) in the morning, the Devil's Spawn, that arrogant toe-rag, was the thing that was occupying her thoughts. The reason for this was not her Hogwarts letter, but the letter accompanying it. The letters from that arrogant toe-rag, that evil despicable devil's spawn.

It had read:

My Dearest Lovely Lily-kins!

I must say I was rather completely and totally in awe, amazement and ever so much pleasure when I received my Hogwarts letter! Now I know deary that you must be thinking "why on earth is that arrogant bullying toe-rag so excited about a stupid piece of parchment that he's received every single year since he was 11?! Let alone but tell ME the illustrious extravagantly especially lovely and all auspicious Lily Evans!?!"

Lily snorted he had gotten the first part right at least.

Well Lily it wasn't the part from McGonagall telling us about our list of books, or the warning that if I got anymore detentions this year I would be sent back home faster than I could say "Quiditch!", OR the part about me being Gryffindor's Team Captain this year (of course I already knew, but it was wonderful to verify the fact anyways), it was that dear old Professor Dumbley has made me, James Harold Potter, son of Harold James Potter and Marie Sarah Potter, Gryffindor's Team Quiditch Captian, Hogwarts' Newest Head Boy! Yup that's right Evans! Head Boy! To your Head Girl I assume! Isn't that just marvelous!

The letter rambled on about his summer, numerous pranks with his best friend Sirius Black (who Lily had heard had recently moved in with Potter, god bless Potter's poor poor parents) and a trip to Paris where Black apparently pick up numerous "Hot French Chicks" but Potter declined because of his undying love for her (not because they didn't ask), after which he proceeded to write a full page of "Will you go out with me Evans?!?!", and then another with "Mrs. Lily Potter" written in almost every way possible, including various different languages, a few of which she couldn't even recognize.

James Potter.

Head Boy.

If it wasn't 10:30 (now 45) she would have screamed so loud the Earth probably would have positively shattered. Not that Lily would have minded of course, her life was over and her dream for the past 6 years was in ruins. She hadn't even opened her letter to see if she was Head Girl or not, because if she was it would mean patrolling the corridors at unholy hours of the night (Potter expecting her to do Merlin knows what) and planning balls and Hogsmeade trips with James Potter. If she wasn't that meant that James Potter and some other girl not nearly as deserving (or at least not as much as she) had beaten her, fair and square, and that doing her best was still not enough.

Fiddlesticks.

Sighing and slowly working up the Gryffindor courage she knew she possessed she quickly tore open the letter like a band-aid, or a hot wax strip, flipped the letter over, and watched as a large shiny piece of gold metal and 3 pieces of folded parchment fell out.

"Merlin!" Lily exclaimed as she fingered the shiny badge now resting on her comforter. Her owl, Eramidies, squawked in delight over in his cage, evidently knowing that this was the most important moment in her schooling career.

Even knowing who she would be working with, she still couldn't help the swell of pride she felt in her chest.

"Lily!" She heard a familiar voice exclaim from across the hall. "Aren't you up yet!? We were going to go shopping for dresses this afternoon, remember!?"

"One moment Petunia," Lily yelled back through her door.

Petunia's wedding. Lily sighed; she couldn't believe that her sister was already getting married. "At such a young age!" her mother had said when she had first found out the news. Lily knew that what her mother was really thinking was "To such a horrible man!" but Rosemary Evans would never be rude to her eldest daughter like that. Petunia then exclaimed that she was in love, and that no amount of time would ever change that.

Vernon Dursley might have been the only man that Lily would consider marrying AFTER Potter. His rude piggish table manners could make Sirius Black hide in terror and his manners otherwise where just as atrocious. His opinions were hard headed and extremely... opinionated and completely archaic, and being that way Lily highly doubted her attending a school full of Witches and Wizards would be acceptable in his rage of beliefs.

Petunia agreed on this subject, therefore they would not be telling him about Lily's "Special Gifts" until after the wedding. Now that, Lily thought, was what a strong marital relationship was built on.

Never the less, they were going to be married, and in two months time Petunia Evans would cease to exist as Lily knew her and become the new Petunia Dursley. Just the thought of it made Lily shudder with disgust.

As she put on her robe to go downstairs and grab a bite before going shopping Lily's door opened abruptly making her jump, and a fully dressed and made up Petunia was standing in front of her wearing a disgruntled look on her face.

Unless you were told so you would have never guessed that Lily, and Petunia were sisters, they often joked about it even, saying that Lily must have been dropped off by the stork, or switched at the hospital, because she looked absolutely nothing like the rest of her family.

Lily had her bright straight as a pin red (not orange!!) hair, soft features, bright green eyes and petit, yet a bit curvy figure, measured in at about 5'2 (and a half if you should mention it) while Petunia clocked in at 5'7, and was able to see clear over her sisters head. She had curly blonde hair, and sharp blue eyes, to go with her pointy almost horse-like features. Petunia was also bony and very slim, while Lily, who wasn't at all chubby, had more of an hourglass figure.

Petunia, dropping her irate expression began to look at her sister with the utmost care, and almost awe.

"You're still in your pajamas?" Petunia questioned quietly. "Lily if you're not feeling well we can post pone the trip until your better."

Lily almost laughed at the irony. Of course she wasn't well, she was far from it, but that didn't mean she was going to ruin her sisters important day.

"No I'm fine, I just received an….. interesting letter from Potter is all." Lily did her best to make the comment seem of hand, but the hatred in her voice was evident.

"Potter? Why on earth would he be writing you? Didn't you send him that howler last summer telling him if he didn't stop writing you every day you'd tell your Headmaster about the you know what?" Petunia said the last lines quietly as if afraid Professor Dumbledore would swoop down and ask exactly what.

Lily did laugh this time, it was hysterical how much her sister knew about her life, more sometimes then she did herself.

She walked over to her bed and grabbed Potter's letter then walked back handing it to her sister. Lily watched the expressions on Pet's face change from anger, to shock, then to amusement as she read the last two pages.

"I must say that Potter does love you as much as you hate him!" Petunia laughed.

"He doesn't love me, he's infatuated with the one thing he can't have! And he NEVER will!" Lily hissed.

"Sure," Petunia replied skeptically. "So congrads on getting Head Girl at least, and I guess you're going to accept it right? I hope so at least, you've worked so hard for it, and if I know you you'll find the silver lining to this whole 'Potter thing'."

Petunia defiantly did know her too well, because just moments ago she was thinking of what the bright side could be to being Heads with Potter.

Being Heads with Potter…. Nope defiantly no silver lining here, it was grey. Grey, grey, grey, grey, grey.

Fiddlesticks!

Final AN: Soo there's the first chapter. I'm sorry if Lily seems very… rude right now, but she's really not, she's just determined, and a bit ticked. Her personality will take more form later on, I promise. It's just hard to give her a complete description without boring the heck out of you. You'll also meet some of Lily's school friends later, aswell as a few of Petunia's in the next Chapter, and hey, who's up for some hideous Bridesmaid's Dresses? ; )