This was a story I made up in high school. I've improved bits and peices, but otherwise the story has stayed the same. I hope you like my first posting and will review and critique. I've always loved writing, but in school no one ever really tells you the truth about how horrible you've done, so I hope to get some honesty and tips. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Disclaimer: The bible is the one true word of God. The story I've created is not real and is not a part of the bible. The names and places that I've mentioned are from the bible but the events never occured.

The Lost Commandments

Wearily trudging through the desert sand, Gabriela nearly collapsed from exhaustion as she once more entered the Israeli town of Zeredah. A child, seeing the return of the traveler, called out and soon many of the townspeople were at Gabriela's side with water and support as she took more unsteady steps into her hometown. Clutching a stone tablet at her side, Gabriela was steered to her home and to the awaiting village council.

Her home was a cool relief as Gabriela entered in with the villagers who half-carried her into her living room. One by one though, the villagers left as they placed Gabriela and the stone tablet safely inside her living-room with the village council.

"So, once again you've helped us come closer to the end of our quest," happily stated Simon, the youngest member of the council of three that sat in the living-room.

"I do what I can," wearily replied Gabriela.

Benjamin gave a pitying look towards Gabriela. "We know how tired you must be, but we must update you. You've been gone longer than you might think."

"Yes," agreed Simon, "Zuar and Dan have returned as well!"

Gabriela looked up with genuine interest. "Well, what has happened?" she questioned with hope.

"It is good and bad news. The bad being that Dan returned with nothing to show for his journey, while Zuar returned successful," said Benjamin, enjoying the eagerness in Gabriela's face.

"Our hard work is being shown in each villager that returns home," finished Gershon, the last and oldest member of the council.

"Except in Dan you mean," sighed Gabriela. "I pity him. He must feel much shame for not returning successfully."

Simon gave a sly smile. "He might, if he hadn't brought home crucial information about the last location."

"You snake!" smiled Gabriela. "Well, where is it?! I can't believe you wouldn't say anything before now!"

"I truly am sorry. But it was so tempting," joked Benjamin through his and the other council member's laughter.

Just as Gabriela was going to push the issue, Gershon intervened. "The place will be revealed in due time, but for now, I believe rest is the best activity for you right now."

The other council members agreed, and not having the strength to argue, Gabriela allowed herself to be led to her bedroom and be put to bed like a child. The council members quietly dispersed from Gabriela's home, and for the first time in moths, she slept peacefully.

Noon and night passed with morning breaking as Gabriela awoke sore but very refreshed. She lingered in bed for a few more minutes before she gathered the energy to fully wake and get up. Once dressed, she began the walk down her clay stairs. Like the stairs, her home and the village's homes were made of a clay-like brick. All the buildings were built of this because of the durability and usefulness the material provided. It proved to keep the buildings cool in the day and warm in the nights. But, Gabriela thought nothing of this as she smelled the wonderful aroma of oatmeal with honey and pheasant. These birds were a rare find in the desert so they had to be imported from other cities, which made them quite a rare treat and delicacy.

"Good morning Ms. Gabriela! I trust your appetite is with you," cajoled Mary, a villager hired by the counsel to take care of Gabriela for the morning.

Gabriela took a seat and patiently waited for her to finish with news from since her departure, to the present, and more importantly for breakfast to be done. After finishing off the last piece of pheasant Gabriela decided to rest for the remainder of the day. At least, that was what she wanted to do; she knew though that the council would soon need her presence, along with the presences of the other journeyers. She sighed and left Mary to clean while she headed to the roof to think. It had always been her favorite spot to gather her thoughts ever since she was a child and she found herself making the trip more and more often as long as her people's quest remained unfinished.

Lying in the last of the morning's coolness, Gabriela arranged her thoughts and began to remember when the quest began and how the strength of the devil nearly led to the downfall of the Israelites.

Gabriel knew that Satan was evil and tried to tempt one and all to do his work and to stop God's chosen people from following the commandments for God. This was something that every Israelite was brought up knowing. But no one had ever seen the devil or any of his servants take a form to deceive anyone since Adam and Eve's time. So, when Sauron, a demon of high stature came in human form to Gabriela's town, no one suspected a thing.

Now, Satan didn't send his a demon of Sauron's importance to just go and tempt people, he had lesser demons for that. No, he had a plan. The Israelites in charge of the articles of God, (Moses' staff, the first manna, and the tablets which held the Ten Commandments), were visiting their brethren of Zeredah. Satan knew that the Ten Commandments were the laws that God had put over His chosen ones to protect them and keep them away from pagan sins. So, Satan began to wonder what would happen if the commandments were to disappear. He began to imagine the Israelites wandering the desert like lost children and acting like the heathen they were told to stay away from. He saw visions of God despairing over the loss of His children's obedience and His anger growing to a point of exploding. Satan delighted in these images and knew he must take action. The devil soon sent Sauron to gather and then scatter the commandments in the most demon-infested parts of the region and then sat back to watch the chaos. But to his amazement and disappointment the Israelites did not respond in fear, but in anger. They felt God's strength as they began to make pray and make plans to regain the commandments which had kept them so close to their heavenly Father. Stunned at the Israelite's reaction, Satan was determined to keep all the commandments well away from the hands who sought them.

Finally, Gabriela's role came into play. No had expected for her to be the first to begin the rescue of the commandments. She didn't even mean to have rescued the second commandment (thou shall have no other gods before me [Exodus 19:3). During Sauron's invasion she had been on a journey to see family in Tirza when on her return trip she saw something unusual. The caravan had been resting when she saw a glimmer in the nearby hills. Being the curious girl she was she told the caravan leader she was going for a walk and eagerly departed in pursuit for what she hoped to be treasure.

Gabriela returned an hour later with a stone slab and a body full of blood and bruises. She arrived just as the caravan was packing up and wondered wearily if this "treasure" was worth all of her trouble. But though it had caused her great pains to obtain the stone slab, she felt something special radiating from it. The writing on it looked important even though she couldn't read it. The caravan returned to Zeredah within another day and by then Gabriela was ready to go and stay home forever. But she found no rest once the information of her discovery reached the council of her village. She was forced to not only give up her treasure that she had toiled to get, but also was asked to give specific details about the tablet's location. By nightfall she was more than ready to return to Tirza just to avoid the council, but Gabriela settled for a long night's sleep.

By morning, Gabriela became the village hero. She became the first journeyer to begin the retrieval of the Ten Commandments. And though bringing back one commandment would have been enough, Gabriela insisted on doing more. Before her popularity, she had been merely a widowed woman of 27 living alone. Without a husband or sons, Gabriela was unable to make much money, though some people hired her for small jobs because they knew she needed it so badly. Her parents had left her with only sisters who were all happily married and unable to do more than offer the occasional meal or money; so when she requested to go on more of the retrievals, the council was showing their pity by letting her go. They knew she finally had a purpose in life, and none of them dared take it away.

So she went, she found, and she retrieved. One by one the commandments were brought back by a choice few Israelites. The council found that only a handful of Israelites was actually able to feel the presence that the tablets gave off and that handful became the journeyers who traveled Israel in search of the remaining commandments. Though the rest of the people were not able to see the tablets or fight the demons that inhabited the regions where the stones were kept, they helped the journeyers who collected the commandments by always welcoming them into their city and providing them with food and rest.

Gabriela fondly remembered the last village that she had departed form. They were all full of happiness as Gabriela left with the sixth commandment (you shall not murder [Exodus 20:13), and offered such hospitality to her that she regretted leaving such welcoming village. One memory lead to another and Gabriela was startled to feel someone gently shake her. Slightly alarmed she looked up prepared to defend herself. Instead she looked up to a kind face of a messenger.

"Sorry to wake you miss, but the council requests you presence," stammered the youth.

"Of course," acknowledged Gabriela as she allowed herself to be lead into the streets of her village.

The messenger led her briskly through the dusty streets and they soon arrived in the town square where a fountain flowed. There, Gabriela saw the familiar faces of the council and the other journeyers laying about or talking by the fountain. But upon seeing Gabriela, Gershon abruptly called the council to order. Not feeling like standing for what she feared would be another tedious meeting, Gabriela took a seat on the fountain wall next to her fellow journeyer Dan.

"As you all know, the last location has been located," began Benjamin.

"So why hasn't a journeyer brought it back my now?" demanded Cush, one of the more impatient journeyers.

Dan did not hide in shame. "Because the location is of the last commandments and will be heavily guarded. I felt I not only needed the strength of the Lord, but of my fellow journeyers as well," he replied.

Cush snorted. "The Lord's strength is all anyone needs.'

Dan looked straight at Cush. "That may be, but I had a feeling. I felt the Lord was telling me I was not meant to retrieve the last commandment. And if you don't believe me that's your problem."

Cush stopped his verbal assault.

A silence followed until Gabriela asked what was still on everyone's minds. "So, where is it?"

"Oh of course!" stammered Benjamin. "The Dead Sea is the last location."

"Where is it around the sea?"

"Not around, in," corrected Dan.

Another silence followed in which everyone but the council members stared at Dan.

"I know it sounds crazy, but the fishers of Engedi can't take their boats a cubit off of the shore before they sink.

So it was true. They were really going to have to find a way into the sea to retrieve the commandment. All looked lost and without hope, except one person.

"So, when do we leave?"

Eyes bored into Gabriela. She remained calm and cool and looked more like she was asking when it was time to eat rather than when they were going to leave for what seemed like an impossible mission.

Hope returned and the council members stated that it would be the dawn of the next day. The journeyers each dispersed their own ways to pack for the following day and prepared their hearts and minds for what they hoped to be their last trip.

The new day dawned and the journeyers were sent off with encouragements and farewells from the entire village. Day after day passed until they finally made it to the fishing town of Engedi, and by that time they were tired, hungry, and ready to have the quest over with. However, they all knew the hardest was yet to come and gratefully accepted the food and lodging the towns-people provided.

The next day the journeyers were ready to take action, but confused on which course to take. The boats would sink and they would surely die if they tried to swim, so what was to be done? They struggled with this until Gabriela made the decision to start praying. Soon others began to follow her example and prayed aloud to the one they knew had the answer. Before long a crowd gathered and some of the younger journeyers began to feel foolish and stopped praying, but the more faithful members continued praying and a voice boomed as soon as the journeyers who had stopped praying had left the circle.

"TAKE A STAFF AND STRIKE THE WATER TO RETRIEVE THAT WHICH WAS STOLEN FROM YOU!" boomed a heavenly voice.

Frightened, but glad they had received their answer; the journeyers borrowed a staff from one of the elders that had gathered in the crowd. Gabriela did the honors and struck the water with all her might. With that, the waters opened and a rough path was laid out. With a frightening excitement Gabriela lead a smaller group of journeyers down the path. The members that had quit praying stayed behind knowing that their faith had wavered and felt they did not deserve to go on. The faithful continued but hours passed and the walls of water loomed threateningly over the journeyers and others began to have fears. Those with the shadow of fear in their hearts began to lag until Dan noticed them and called for a halt.

"Are you weary?" questioned Gabriela.

"No, I don't know about the others, but this path seems to lead to our doom and I fear following it," admitted Reu.

"Do you others feel the same?" They nodded with agreement and shame knowing that their faith too had wavered in the time of the final trial.

"You must return then, this road is not of the faint of heart," explained Gabriela.

They felt terrible, but knew whatever was lying ahead was not for them. The group that had started out with such confidence was now shrunken to the last five members. They went on until they finally approached what they had sought for so long. The first commandment lay before them on a pillar and was almost within their reach. Two of the members rushed forward heeding no danger and thought of the glory it would bring when they carried the last commandment home. The last three approached with caution, knowing no prize came without a price. Suddenly, the very earth beneath them tossed and crumbled as spears leapt from the ground and surrounded their treasure. Before they could recover an angelic voice called out.

"Go no further ye men of God. My master, the commander of the demons, bids that none shall recover this stone." And with that Sauron himself stepped from the rubble and faced the weary and frightened journeyers.

"Forgive us, but our Lord and master of the heavens requires that we retrieve that which belongs to us. Now step aside foul demon, or face the wrath of my God, who commands the innumerable angels above," Gabriela commanded as she stepped forward.

Sauron trembled at the mention of the name but held his ground. He then unsheathed his sword and took a battle stance. The journeyers had swords as well, for they had fought other lesser demons to gain control of the other commandments, but now they cowered and pled for their lives. All but Gabriela. She too unsheathed her sword and it flamed with the light of the last light of day striking it.

"Stand back!" Gabriela commanded after giving a look of pity to the men she had known to have been so strong and faithful. With a cry Gabriela leapt toward Sauron, prepared to give her all for her Lord. With God's strength flowing through her, Gabriela was able to match blow for blow against Sauron. Their swords clashed and clanged while the others looked on with awe until a victor finally emerged. A joyous cry went out as Gabriela stood over Sauron with her sword pointed to his heart.

"Leave now," seethed Gabriela.

"Never!" screamed Sauron. And with that, he made on last lunge and to the dismay of all, his sword hit its mark. But as Sauron made his blow Gabriela made hers, so at last the fight was ended and both lay gasping for the last breaths of life. However to the amazement of both sides, a wondrous light shone and a blinding darkness fell, and before the journeyers and the demon, Satan and God themselves arrived.

"So, your pathetic humans actually did it. But you know that they could never have made it without your interference," sneered the devil.

"Yes, but that is what I make myself known for. To help guide and carry them through their troubles," replied God.

"This war is far from over."

"It was over before it started."

Screaming in rage, the devil consumed Sauron in a flame and laughed at the horror stricken faces of the journeyers. He then departed, leaving a slowly dying Gabriela at the feet of the one she served. God gave a look of sadness to Gabriela and with love and care picked her up.

"Return with the commandment and never forget what happened here," commanded their Lord and savior.

They agreed in silence, but Dan could not keep silent. "Please Lord, what will you do with Gabriela?"

God smiled gently. "She has shown much faith and courage that I have not seen in many years. For her reward, I will take her with me."

With that, the Lord ascended into heaven with Gabriela sleeping in his arms and the journeyers returned home with the first and most important commandment.

You shall have no other gods before me. This simply means: trust God.