AN: I love fluff. Especially crazy, pregnant lady fluff. I have headache, I am bored, enjoy.
So You Knocked Her Up: Steven Hyde's guide to dealing with your psycho, preggo, wife.
1) You will wonder why she'd been so moody and make a joke.
2) A really bad tasteless joke.
3) You will then say, "It's like you're pregnant or something—wouldn't that just suck?"
4) She will hit you, and then kick you out of the house.
5) You will visit the Foreman's. Red will call you a dumbass and Kitty will give you a look. Then Red will say, "She's pregnant for Christ's sake. What, are you dumber than Eric now?"
6) You will buy her flowers and apologize.
7) She will cry—a lot—throughout the entire pregnancy.
8) You will learn to like comforting her.
9) She will call herself fat.
10) She will complain about the extra 30 pounds she has gained and how they make her look like a lumberjack
11) She will call you a lazy, afro-ed, burn-out, stoner, with no life, no work-ethic, no parenting skills, and not enough God-damned ice cream.
12) It will be the second octoburn in known existence.
13) Despite all of this you will tell her she is like a stick with a bubble.
14) That you will go to the store and see if they have more ice cream.
15) That you have a life—with her, and your friends, and the record store.
16) That Kelso has managed just fine with Betsy.
17) You also tell her that you will see if the store has any "work-ethic" in stock.
18) She will throw her shoe at you and you will only laugh.
19) You will secretly love that about five of her extra pounds went straight to her boobs.
20) When she finds this out you will sleep in the couch for five minutes before she decides it makes her horny.
21) For some reason, Jackie is like a sex-god when she's pregnant. You will learn to appreciate this.
22) You must avoid all comparisons to racehorses when she pees.
23) She will let you choose the baby's middle name (You have both already decided on the first names David for a boy and Jessica for a girl).
24) When Jessica Page Hyde is finally born you will have both gone through minor and major mental breakdowns.
25) You will fight in the delivery room about something stupid, but all will be forgiven the moment you see her holding that tiny pink bundle.
26) Through it all you will realize that she must really love you to go through this.
27) You will never admit to it, but the first time you hold your daughter you will be scared shitless.
28) Red will congratulate you.
29) The world will be thrown off of its rotation.
30) You will try your hardest to be a great father.
AN: Reviews are much appreciated be warned there may be more of these.