AN:This will be a slow burn Kuvira/Suyin fic. I'm working under the assumption that Kuvira was never truly part of the Beifong family, and that she was in her late 20s during the events of Book 4. This takes place ten years later. In this fic, Suyin is polyamorous, and there will be no cheating on Bataar Sr.

This hasn't been beta'd, so there will probably be mistakes.

She supposed it should not have surprised her that she only had two guards on the train to Zaofu. Over the years of her incarceration, she had garnered trust through cooperation and atonement. Through rebuilding Republic City and public apologies. She had done everything she could to make up for the atrocities she had committed, and her reward was the opportunity to go home after only ten years in prison. She would be under house arrest with Suyin Beifong responsible for her.

Suyin, who had forgiven her for her betrayal. Suyin who Kuvira had forgiven for her betrayal.

Kuvira sat quietly, staring out the window as the domed city drew nearer (she did not know when they had been replaced, but she felt the sting of guilt deep in her gut). Her guards gave her plenty of space. They had been with her for a while, for years. They always ventured with her when she had gone out in Republic City on her community service outings. They knew she was unlikely to want conversation.

It had been over ten years since she had been home, and she found that the anticipation was almost unbearable. As the scenery sped by, Kuvira reflected on how strange it was that she felt so young again. She was just a few years shy of forty, and yes coming back to Zaofu made her feel like a child. A lonely orphan who was taken in by the Beifongs, but who was never really accepted as part of the family. She had been a student and a friend, a protégé to Suyin, but she had never been a daughter or a sister. The closest she had come to being a member of the Beifong family were the months she had spent engaged to Bataar Jr. That had ended horribly and alienated her permanently from the closest thing she had to family.

Or perhaps not so permanently.

It had been five years into her sentence (life in prison) when Korra had approached her about the possibility of parole. Kuvira had spent those five years working hard to rebuild Republic City, and had proved herself trustworthy to the citizens. Still, Kuvira had been skeptical. How could these people allow her to walk free? Turned out that she would not exactly be free. She would no longer be confined to her cell, to her prison, but she would be banished from The United Republic, and she would be confined to Zaofu.

Suyin had volunteered to take her.

That alone was enough to send Kuvira into an emotional tailspin. Their relationship was still so fragile, still so damage. They had tried to mend it, and in ten years, they had barely managed civility (at least on Suyin's end. Kuvira was always humble and apologetic). She had never expected Suyin to invite her back to Zaofu. Not after everything she had done. Not after all that had passed between them.

"Kuvira?"

She looked up to see one of her guards standing by her seat.

"Yes, Meili?"

"The conductor has informed us that we will be stopping soon. He would like the rest of the passengers to disembark before we exit."

"Of course. Thank you." Kuvira liked Meili. She would be sad to say goodbye to both her guards, but they had to return to Republic City. She assumed she would be provided new ones in Zaofu. She hoped that they would be female. She had been away from men for a long time, and she found she did not want to allow them into her personal space again. Women tended to understand her motives better than men. Her desperate need to protect the Earth Kingdom. Though it was a kingdom no longer. The individual states had been operating independently for years now. The Earth Republic, or whatever they called it now. Part of her was still so bitter, so regretful that she had not been able to bring about the change she so desired. So hurt that her accomplishments were forgotten. She had saved the Earth Kingdom from destruction and civil war. No matter what else, she thought she deserved recognition for that. She knew that she had taken it too far. That was something she had spent the last ten years coming to terms with. But she knew that it had not all been bad. She had done good things, too.

It didn't really matter, though. It was all the past. Korra told her that she needed to move forward.

Kuvira thought that was possibly easier for the Avatar to say, what with her loving and successful wife and their hoard of adopted children. Children that they loved so much more than Suyin had ever loved Kuvira.

The unwanted emotions bubbled inside her, and she clenched her fist. The metal of her seat crumpled slightly, and Meili took a tentative step towards her.

"I'm fine." Kuvira took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She was ashamed at her loss of control. That was unacceptable. With a flick of her wrist, she returned the seat to its original shape. She glanced back at Meili. "I'm fine." Meili nodded and returned to her position.

Kuvira worked on calming herself the rest of the trip, and by the time the train came to a stop, she had completely regained her control. When the train had been cleared, the conductor came to their compartment to escort Kuvira to the platform. She hefted her small back over her shoulder (she only owned the clothes on her back and a few parting gifts from the Avatar and Asami and a surprising one from Lin Beifong), and followed the conductor. The platform was cleared of people except two guards clearly waiting for her. She was somewhat disappointed that Suyin had not come to collect her personally, but she supposed she should have expected it. Suyin was a very busy woman, and they were not exactly close anymore.

She recognized both of them, and was not unaware of the animosity in their eyes.

"Welcome home, Great Uniter." Delun smirked as he greeted her. She was prepared to have the title thrown at her like an insult. It was not the first time it had happened, and she knew it would not be the last. She comforted herself by remembering that his unimaginative insults could not hurt her if she did not let them. Delun's smirk faltered when she did not rise to his challenge. His companion, Nianzu, elbowed him in the side. "We're to escort you to your quarters." He glanced at her guards. "There's no need to follow."

Meili drew herself up and looked down her nose at him. "Our orders from Chief Beifong were to escort Kuvira directly to Suyin Beifong. We will stay with Kuvira until then."

Delun's nose wrinkled but he nodded. "Fine. Follow us."

Kuvira felt a deep desire to thank Meili for standing up to Delun, but she stayed quiet. Meili knew how Kuvira felt. There was no need to show emotional vulnerability in front of men who would only use it against her.

Zaofu had changed in the last ten years. Had grown and prospered. The streets were not quiet what she had left, but they were not so different that she did not know where she was. It was clear that precautions had been made for her return. The streets were mostly cleared, and few people were out to gawk at her. Meili and Niu stuck close to her, flanking her so that Delun and Nianzu could not get too close. The four of them escorted her all the way to the Beifong compound where more guards joined them. Delun led them through the familiar hallways, and Kuvira had to concentrate on her breathing to keep her anxiety at bay.

It was futile, however, when they turned the last corner to reveal Suyin herself waiting outside one of the suites. It was not the first time she had seen Suyin in the last ten years. There had been visits and letters. Most of them tense. The last one had been a month earlier as they arranged Kuvira's transfer.

Suyin nodded to the guards. "You may go now. Kuvira isn't going to do anything." Delun and the others bowed before dispersing. Meili and Niu stayed close to Kuvira.

"These two are mine," Kuvira said, wincing at the fact that those were her greeting words.

"I remember." Suyin had met them several times before. "The two of you are welcome to stay the night. There is another train back to Republic City this evening, but I know my sister would not mind if you waited until the morning."

"Thank you. Niu and I would like to stay with Kuvira just a while longer, but we will return tonight." Meili had a family to return to, Kuvira knew.

"Of course." Suyin then turned her attention to the woman who had caused all this. "Kuvira."

"Suyin." She no longer felt comfortable with Suyin's more familiar nickname. There was too much between them.

"This will be your room." She opened the door and allowed them inside. It was a small suite, but it had its own sitting and washroom. It would allow her privacy.

"Thank you." She hesitated before turning to Meili and Niu. "I would like to ask if I could have a moment alone with Suyin." The two guards nodded and stepped out, leaving Kuvira alone with the only person she had ever truly loved. The person who had hurt her the worst and whom she had tried to destroy. "I would like to thank you for this. For allowing me back in Zaofu. I know that I….that you had plenty of reason not to. I want you to know that I will do whatever I can to earn my keep."

Suyin regarded her carefully, her expression closed and guarded. "I debated with myself about it for a long time. I'm still not certain it was the right decision, but I was given a second chance when I did not deserve one. It would be hypocritical of me to refuse you the same chance." Kuvira did not let the brittle coldness in Suyin's voice bother her. It was an improvement over the unbridled hostility of a few years earlier.

"Still. It was very generous of you." Kuvira set her pack down on the bed and faced Suyin. "I wanted to ask if I was expected at dinner, or if I should stay away from the family."

Suyin frowned, thinking. "You know Jr. is living in Republic City now, as is Opal." Kuvira knew. She had heard about both their marriages. Bataar Jr.'s had not even stung. She had never really loved him that deeply, and she had let go of him long ago. He had served some time, not as much as she had, but he had still been punished. She supposed he deserved another chance as much as she did. He had a child now, with another on the way. Something she had never wanted. "And the twins are in Omashu. It's just Huan and Bataar Sr. here still. If you wanted to come to dinner, you will not be chased off."

"I assume it will be at the usual time?"

"Yes. I'll have a place set for you."

"Thank you."

Suyin hesitated, looking awkward for just a moment, as if she wanted to say something more. Instead she sighed and shook her head. "I'll leave you settle in. There are some stipulations to you being here, but we can go over those later. For now, I would ask that you stay in this wing."

"I will."

Suyin nodded, then left abruptly, leaving Kuvira with an aching longing in her chest. Of all the relationships she had ruined, none burned her like the one with Suyin. She had gained a friendship with Korra, had even become cordial with Lin Beifong, but Suyin was the one who really mattered. Suyin had always been the most important to her. The person whose approval and affection she had wanted above all others.

The few hours until dinner passed quickly as Kuvira put away her meager belongings and spent the afternoon with Meili and Niu. When they had to depart for the train station, Kuvira was left alone. But that was nothing new. She spent most of her time alone. In fact, she as starting to feel drained from all the interaction she had been forced into. Not drained enough to skip dinner, however. Knowing what the Beifongs wore, Kuvira grimaced at her own simple wardrobe. The best she had was a simple tunic and a loose pair of pants. Hardly up to Suyin's standards, but they would have to do.

Making sure that her hair was perfectly braided back (she noticed a few more strands of gray than had been there the year before), she made her way to the dining room.

When she entered, Bataar, Huan, and Suyin were already there. The former two froze momentarily as they saw her, but quickly recovered. They had known she would be coming, and Bataar even gave her a nod. She remembered how she had locked him in a cage, and his kindness constricted her throat.

"Where should I sit?"

"Here." Suyin pointed to the seat next to her, and Kuvira gingerly lowered herself into it.

The hall stayed quiet for a few minutes, painfully awkward silence pressing down on them, until Huan took the initiative to start describing his latest sculpture to his father. As the attention turned to him, Kuvira breathed a sigh of relief and focused on her meal. The food was much richer than what she was accustomed to, and she ate slowly and carefully, savoring the flavors. However, she was not unaware of Suyin watching her. The matriarch's eyes followed her every movement as her husband and son conversed.

"Mother?" They both glanced up, realizing that it was not the first time Huan had called for Suyin.

"Sorry, sweetheart. What is it?"

"I asked if you remembered that Yunru's parents are coming next week."

"Oh, yes. Everything is nearly ready." Suyin's face lit up as she looked at her son. "I'm very excited to finally meet them." Kuvira looked at her questioningly, and Suyin gave a wave of her hand. "Yunru is Huan's fiancé."

"Oh. Congratulations." Kuvira had always suspected that Huan was more interested in men than he ever was in women.

"Thanks." His reply was cool, but not hostile. He furrowed his brows and the way he watched her reminded her acutely of Suyin. "Do you want to meet him?"

Blinking in surprise, Kuvira looked to Suyin for guidance. The older woman shrugged her shoulders, leaving Kuvira to make the decision herself. "If you would like me to, I would be honored." Huan seemed pleased and nodded.

"He's away right now, but he'll be back next week when his parents come."

She wanted to ask if her presence would cause problems, but no one else had brought it up so she decided to leave it. Huan knew her reputation. If he had no concerns, then she would not worry on it either.

"Kuvira, are your rooms satisfactory?" This time it was Bataar who addressed her. His face was soft and kind, and she again wanted to wilt under her own shame. She could never be sorry for uniting the Earth Kingdom, for keeping it from imploding, but she would always regret the way she had handled the Beifongs, the way she had treated them and Zaofu. She would always regret the way things had ended.

"They are, thank you. They are more than enough." She politely bowed her head to him. Humility had been something hard learned for her. "I am accustomed to much less."

"We are not in the habit of allowing guests to go without," Bataar said with a small smile. They all knew she was not a guest, but she appreciated his attempts at normalcy. "Please let us know if there is anything you need."

"I will." She tried not to shift uncomfortably as the attention was back on her. She had nothing to talk about, nothing to contribute. She was waiting for the ball to drop, for the verbal attacks to start. For them to ask her what the hell she thought she was doing there. But none of that came. They just returned to their meals, letting the quiet settle as they ate.

As she knew was customary, the cook brought out an experimental dessert, which Kuvira was unsure she could stomach. However, she knew that she had to try in order to be polite. As she played with her food, Bataar decided to make conversation.

"So, Kuvira, Suyin tells us that you've been working with charities in Republic City."

"Yes. I've been working with the Avatar on different ways to pay my reparations. Rebuilding, setting up shelters. Working with the spirit wilds. It has been a learning experience for me. To see so many people who have so little. To realize how much I took from them even as I was trying to give the Earth Kingdom more. It has been humbling."

Bataar nodded seriously. "We realized after everything that happened, that you were partially right." He glanced at Suyin who was glowering but silent. "We have kept too much to ourselves here in Zaofu. That's why we've been working the past ten years on sharing our technology and wealth with the other states."

Surprised, Kuvira looked back to Suyin, who reluctantly nodded. "That…pleases me. That's all I ever wanted, was for our people to be taken care of." She sighed. "I know I went about it the wrong way. I let the power get to me and change me." She did not need to apologize. That had been done years ago. She and Suyin were past that. But Bataar and Huan deserved to hear her reasoning behind her actions. "I lost myself, but I was trying to do something good."

"We realized that," Bataar said. "It's the past now, and all we can do is learn from our mistakes." Kuvira was about to answer when Suyin suddenly pushed back her chair and stormed from the room. Startled, Kuvira watched her leave, looking to Bataar for explanation. He sighed and shook his head. "Don't worry about it too much. She's….She doesn't like admitting that we have any culpability. She knows we do, but it's…hard."

"I understand." Her appetite was gone, though, and she suddenly felt incredibly tired. "I think I will retire to my room for the night. It's been a long day. Thank you for your hospitality and your graciousness. I know you did not have to accept me here at the table." She made sure to include Huan, too, nodding to him. "I will always be grateful for that. For you allowing me back into your home. I will do my best to deserve this consideration."

"We'll make things right," Bataar promised. Kuvira gave a curt nod, not trusting herself to speak, and left for her rooms.

She slept poorly. It was probably due to being in a new place and the rich food she had consumed. Whatever the reason, she tossed and turned and was plagued by the nightmares that had been her companions for the last decade.

Waking up in a cold sweat with her stomach rolling, Kuvira leaned over the side of the bed to take deep, calming breaths like Korra had taught her. Knowing that she would not be able to sleep again that night, Kuvira slipped on her shoes and decided to take a walk around her wing. She knew she could not go outside or stray too far, but anything was more freedom than she was used to. Though it was a small wing, Kuvira made several walking laps around it. Once her legs felt stretched and her heart had settled, she took the time to admire the artwork that was on the walls. It seemed that Suyin had begun collecting paintings, and Kuvira stepped closer to the one nearest her. It was abstract, full of greens and yellows. It reminded her of flowers and fields and calm.

"Huan painted that."

Kuvira jumped, whirling around to see Suyin standing in the hallway behind her. Her cheeks burned at being snuck up on. That should not have happened. Prison had dulled her senses.

"It's lovely."

Suyin did not answer immediately. Instead, she came up to stand next to Kuvira, her eyes on the painting. "He's very talented. As you know." Neither of them spoke for a while. Kuvira had not been so close to Suyin in ten years, and she found that her body was drawn to the older woman. She wanted to move closer, to touch her. So few people had touched her during her incarceration, and hardly ever in a way that was not hostile. She remembered acutely the hugs that she had received from Suyin all those years ago. The pats on the shoulder for a job well done. The occasional peck on the cheek in greeting or parting. She missed the physical intimacy of being part of Suyin's life. Missed it so much more than she missed Bataar Jr.

Finally, Suyin spoke again. "Could you not sleep?"

"It's been a long time since I slept in a bed so comfortable. And a long time since I've had such rich food." Kuvira tilted her head. "It will just take me a while to settle." The awkwardness grew between them, and Kuvira shifted nervously.

"I felt your restlessness," Suyin told her, softly. "I was working late. My office is close….well, you know where it is. I felt you. I wasn't sure if you would want me to come down here." The way she used to. When Kuvira was a teenager, angry about her parents leaving her. When she had spent weeks on end sleeping less than four hours a night. When she had needed silent support. Suyin had been there. Not a parent. Not a mother. But a friend. A mentor.

"I had not expected it." She felt so young. The yearning inside her was so unexpected. "It's been a long time, and I am no longer an angry teenager trying to figure out why no one wanted me."

The pain that flitted across Suyin's face hit Kuvira deep in her chest. The pain laced in Suyin's next words stunned her. "I always wanted you." Kuvira turned to look at her, chest tight as she took in the agony in Suyin's eyes. "I always wanted you to be part of my family. I didn't know how to do it, how to bring you in. It never worked how I thought it would, and I could never quite figure out how to change things, and I know that's on me. I should have done more, done better. But, spirits, Kuvira, I always wanted you."

"Su." Kuvira's throat closed over the words she wanted to say. There were so many things she could blame on Suyin. So many of her own issues and failings. But those things did not seem to matter anymore. They were in the past, things that could not be changed. They were not things to be ignored, and Kuvira knew they would have to be addressed at some point, but at that moment, as she stepped forward, into Suyin's space, all she could think was that everything in her life had always come down to this woman. Everything she had done had in some way come back to Suyin Beifong. And so she accepted the arms that opened for her, letting Suyin wrap her in a tight embrace. For a moment everything was stiff and wrong, but then they both relaxed. Kuvira pressed her face into Suyin's shoulder, letting her body accept the contact.

Suyin's breath tickled her ear. "I missed you," the older woman whispered. Kuvira remembered their first meeting after everything had settled, after she had been imprisoned. She remembered Suyin's callous accusations, her cutting remarks, her blazing anger and betrayal. She remembered her own insistence that Suyin was to blame for her actions. Her righteous anger at how she had been treated. The betrayal she still felt at Suyin's assassination attempt. She remembered all of that, but those three words soothed the pain in her heart.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry for everything."

"I know. I am, too." Suyin placed a hand on top of Kuvira's head, caressing her hair. Kuvira had never been prone to physical affection, but she needed this. She needed to know that Suyin…that their relationship could recover.

She was the first to pull away, however, not wanting to push Suyin for more than either of them could handle. Clearing her throat, she looked back to the painting. "I'm happy for Huan. Getting married. Will that be all of them married off?"

Suyin shook her head. "No. Wei isn't interested in marriage. He prefers keeping to himself and playing the uncle to Wing's kid." She clasped her hands behind her back. "I'm sorry for walking out at dinner. I thought…I thought I was ready to have you here. I thought I would be able to pretend everything was fine. I should have known better." One hand lifted as though she wanted to reach out to Kuvira, but she let it drop just as suddenly. "I don't know how to do this."

Kuvira wished that she could lift the intense pressure that was crushing her chest. Why did everything with Suyin have to hurt so much? "How to do what?"

"I don't know how to have you here. You're not my daughter." Kuvira flinched violently at the blunt proclamation of what she had always known and felt. "You never were. You always rejected my attempts to bring you into the family. I asked you to live with us, but you wanted to stay in the barracks. Even as a child, you never wanted me to be your mother."

"I didn't want new parents," Kuvira told her. This conversation was about twenty years overdue. "I wanted my own to come back for me. I wanted them to love me. I was too angry to…to let you be my parent."

"I know. So I never pushed. Perhaps I should have, I don't know. I never had a good example to follow. My own mother was…I love her, but she was never what Lin and I needed." Suyin turned to lean against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest. At fifty-eight, she still had an athletic, strong body, though her face was more lined and her hair a lighter gray than it had been the last time Kuvira had been in Zaofu. "I tried to be better for my children, but I know I have my own special brand of failings. So I didn't do for you what I should have. It's an excuse, but I did try. I thought I was doing what was best. You reminded me of myself, but also of Lin. And I knew how much Lin resented our mother. I didn't want to cause that in you." Swallowing hard, Suyin bent her chin down to her chest. "I treated you as a student. My favorite student, my protégé. I thought that would be enough. I know now that it wasn't. I know you don't feel like it, and I know that my actions ten years ago contradict this, but…you are family. I don't know in what capacity, but you are. At least to me." She looked back up at Kuvira, her eyes brimming with tears. "I should have given you the same chances I gave Jr. I should never have turned my back on you. I'm sorry."

Through her haze of emotion, Kuvira tried to grasp the words she so desperately wanted to say. "I was so angry with you. For doing nothing. But I've had ten years to realize my own responsibility. No one made me react the way I did. No one made me hurt people. At some point, I have to take responsibility for my own actions." She stared intently at Huan's painting, unable to look at Suyin just yet. "When Lin told me that you would be willing to take me back…I didn't know what to expect. I don't know how to be part of a family. You are right. You were never my mother. Your children were never my siblings. I think…I was going to…" Kuvira cut herself off. She was not quite ready to discuss her relationship with Jr. just yet. Not with his mother. "Zaofu has always been my home. I'm grateful you have given me the opportunity to come back."

"You've been making atonements." Suyin quickly wiped away her tears. "I'm trying to do the same."

Kuvira nodded.

"I realize that I haven't…we haven't gone over the ground rules for you being here." Suyin seemed to shake herself, her demeanor growing slightly cooler. "You will be confined to our compound unless accompanied by myself, Bataar, or one of my guards. While you are in the compound, however, you may roam freely. You will be helping me develop strategies for bringing the wealth of Zaofu to the other states as part of your community service. I would ask that you try not to mingle in the population too much until people grow accustomed to having you here."

"Of course."

"The Avatar has agreed to come once a month to continue with your spiritual healing, and she may bring you back to Republic City periodically to continue the work you've been doing with her. Other than that, you may do what you wish."

"Am I allowed to practice my bending?"

Suyin frowned. "I don't see why not. So long as you're supervised." She tilted her head apologetically. "To make people feel better. I trust you not to do anything. Not when you've complied with all your sentences so far. We'll work out a schedule."

"Thank you."

"Will you be able to sleep tonight?"

"Not likely." Kuvira had entertained the idea of lying to Suyin, but she knew it would have been pointless. Suyin knew her.

"Do you…."Suying let out a frustrated sigh, and her next words came out almost comically aggressive and mumbled. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

"No," Kuvira said, her mouth twitching in an almost smile. "I will be fine. I just need to settle in."

"All right. Well. Bataar will be worried about me. I should go." Suyin laid a hand on Kuvira's shoulder. "If you need…Sleep well." She squeezed Kuvira's shoulder and left.

As she watched Suyin walk away, Kuvira thought maybe she could figure this out. Maybe she could have a second chance.