Continuation and conclusion of a previous story, Secret Revelations - When Captain Kate Janeway and the USS Voyager-B are dispatched on a mission that brings some of her mother's past back to the future, what will happen to all involved? How far will the Captain go to protect and defend her own family, in particular her mother, Admiral Kathryn Janeway?
Location USS Voyager-B in Orbit above Earth
It was hard to believe that Kate Janeway had been serving as the Captain of the still relatively new USS Voyager-B for almost four years, and that her daughter had just recently celebrated her third birthday. It was crazy how fast time had gone by. Voyager had just returned to Earth's orbit to await their instructions for their next mission. While some of the crew had been given leave to return to Earth to visit with family and friends, Kate had not yet left the ship as she and the senior crew were awaiting a conference meeting with the upper leadership at Starfleet Command.
A week ago, Kate had received notification from Admiral Jameson about Voyager's upcoming mission, and to be honest, she was somewhat hesitant about it. It would send the ship teetering on the edge of the Alpha Quadrant close to the Badlands, where so many years ago her own mother's Voyager was lost for seven years. Additionally, there had been reports of a resurgence of the Borg now prevalent in that vicinity, which was one of the reasons Voyager was likely being dispatched for verification of the authenticity of that rumor. Kate would be lying if she didn't admit to being slightly apprehensive over this mission. In one of their previous senior staff meetings, Commander Sage Walker, her First Officer, pointed out that a number of the crew, who had children currently onboard the ship, feared their children going on this mission and wanted to discuss the possibility of leaving them behind with relatives.
Shortly after that meeting, Kate returned to her ready room where Commander Walker soon joined her to discuss the situation. The thought had even crossed Kate's mind because she didn't want her own child anywhere near Borg territory, but could she live with the possibility of not seeing her daughter for an extended period of time? She and Commander Walker discussed the various options, and while she argued that point he argued with her over whether could she deal with the realization that her daughter was assimilated by the Borg or captured by some other wayward alien species. The children were prime targets because they were so young and impressionable. Kate concurred with Walker that they would hold a meeting with the crew prior to their departure and let them make that decision on their own, but even she was still teetering on what to do herself because asking her parents to ultimately raise her three year old, handful of a daughter would be more a burden than she wanted to place on anyone.
Walker, who always was a reason in the darkness, added his two cents to the mix. "Kate," he stated dropping her rank, which was a rarity that he ever did. "Look, I know Kiernan is your daughter, and I know you would never put her in harm's way. Yet, I also know how much you love and care for her. She is your prize possession. However, as your First Officer, whose job it is to be the Captain's second hand and second conscious at times, I have to remind you, that as a Captain, you have to adhere to Starfleet regulations. I'm saying this as your friend and not your First Officer. Kate, you have a tough choice to make – choosing between Starfleet and your daughter, as does every other crew member on this ship. No matter what you decide personally, they will follow your lead. I say all that to say, taking Kiernan with you could pose no risk at all. She's a highly gifted and intelligent child. If we don't encounter the Borg, then there was no harm whatsoever in taking her or any of the other children along, just as we have on these prior missions. But should we encounter the Borg, where will your mind and focus be? Will it be on the battle of fighting the Borg or is it going to be focused on your daughter?
"I know that sounds harsh, but it's a decision that you could potentially have to face, not just with the Borg but with anyone. Look, I know you love Kiernan, and if you choose to leave her behind with your parents or someone else, no one will think any less of you for making that call nor do I think she will think any differently of you either. I know she's still very young, Kate, but I've never seen a child with such an intellect as she has. Talk the situation over with her, and she what she thinks. No matter what you decide, you'll have my support and I'll do everything I can to help. Just like any other Starfleet mission, it is uncertain as we have no idea what may or may not lie ahead. But with the rumor mill of the possible presence of the Borg on the horizon, I just wanted to talk to you about this. I know it's in the back of your mind, but don't allow Starfleet to cloud your judgment when it comes to making a decision concerning your own child's safety and welfare," he added before leaving her office to return to his duties, which only left her mind spinning a mile a minute.
Back at Starfleet Headquarters, Kathryn had been notified and been looped in on what the newest mission proposal was for Voyager, and she had discussed with not only Chakotay, Phoebe and Gretchen her thoughts, but she even discussed with Will and Deanna Troi-Riker. All were hesitant on how to approach the subject with Kate, but Kathryn knew she would have to bring it up for the sake of her granddaughter. But additionally, Kathryn told Deanna that she felt that Kate needed a confidant onboard this mission. Someone she could rely exclusively in. Someone that she could trust and someone that would know when something was bothering Kate. Deanna knew immediately that Kathryn wanted her on that ship to be Kate's conscious, and Deanna, in some strange way, felt that it was necessary as she had previously been thinking the same thing herself.
Shortly after the senior staff meeting concluded with Starfleet Command, Kate instructed Commander Walker to schedule a meeting with the Voyager crewmembers who had children along with herself for the following morning. As soon as their discussion ended, Kate excused herself and told her crew that she needed to beam down to Earth, as she had some important business to conduct but they could reach her at a moment's notice should they need her.
Upon arriving on Earth, she headed straight for Starfleet Academy and to her father's office, which was her ultimate first choice because she needed to see him first to steady herself for her upcoming discussion. After knocking on the door, she poked her head inside and found him at his desk where he was intently studying some notes.
"If you study that too intently, you're going to get a headache," she deadpanned.
His head shot up, clearly not having heard her previous knock, and he broke out into a wide smile before he stepped across the room and enveloped her in a hug. "Oh, sweetheart, it is so good to see you. I've missed you so much," Chakotay replied.
"I've missed you, too, Edoda."
He smiled and motioned for her to take a seat but she shook her head preferring to stand. "What brings you by?" he questioned.
She smiled in return. "Well, naturally, I wanted to see you, but I wanted to see if you could help me break Mom out of Starfleet Command as there's something I need to talk to the two of you about."
He raised his eyebrow and responded, "You mean to tell me that you came to see me before you saw your mother?" At her nodding affirmative in response, he joked, "Oh, she's going to be so jealous now. But of course, let's go for a walk and I'll have her meet us. This is usually around the time of day she takes a break and meets me for coffee anyways."
Kate shook her head. "You two are so cute. Still acting lovey-dovey and all."
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and replied, "Somethings are just too good to let go of. Any time I can spend with your mother is still some of the best time of my life."
Kate wrapped her arm around his waist and they continued to stroll along the pathway towards Chakotay and Kathryn's rendezvous point. As they were walking, Chakotay couldn't help but chuckle and tapped Kate's shoulder as Kathryn, who had been previously strolling in their direction had come to an abrupt stop.
"Shit!" Kate said and unwound herself from Chakotay. "She probably thinks I'm some other woman."
Chakotay stopped and looked down at Kate with an expression of somewhat disbelief on his face.
"I know, I know, you would never cheat on Mom, but I mean it did probably look a little suspicious. But I mean, what if," and she was cut off.
"Little Kathryn, stop babbling."
They both glanced back up and saw that Kathryn had picked up her pace.
"Kate?" they heard her say from afar.
Kate closed the gap and practically picked her mother off the ground in a bear hug. Once she eventually set her back down on the ground, she looked down into her mother's piercing eyes. "Hi, Mom."
Kathryn placed both of her hands on Kate's cheekbones and leaned up to kiss her daughter's forehead. "Oh, how I've missed you, my angel."
"I've missed you so, so much, Mom, and I'm sorry if you thought I was some other…"
Kathryn was shaking her head. "Never. I was a little confused at first as to who Chakotay would have his arms wrapped around, but then I recognized it was you and my heart beamed. Plus, I know he would never cheat on me or else he'd be a dead man walking," she added with a slight bit of humor in her voice.
Kate smiled and kept an arm wrapped around her Mom. "I need to talk to the two of you about something, and that's why I'm here. Can we go somewhere and chat for a few minutes?"
"Of course," Kathryn nodded while looking at Chakotay to see if he had any inkling of what this was about. He shrugged his shoulders and went ahead to the café and grabbed them some drinks before returning to find them seated at a table in the park overlooking the Bay.
"I've sure missed this view over the past three years," Kate stated while staring at the ships moving about in the Bay.
Kathryn reached across the table and patted her daughter's hand. "Honey, what's the matter? What's on your mind?"
Kate glanced back across the table at both of her parents and took a deep breath before she plunged ahead to asking for one of the biggest favors that she had ever had to ask anyone in her entire life.
"As I'm sure the both of you know Voyager is about to be deployed on a mission to the outer skirts of the Alpha Quadrant, no less towards the Badlands, to investigate the possible resurgence of the Borg. A number of our crewmembers have expressed grave concern over taking their children on this mission. I've scheduled a meeting with them tomorrow morning to discuss their ideas, express their concerns and ultimately give them the opportunity to leave their children behind with loved ones if they so desire. Obviously, I cannot deny them that opportunity due to the risk of the nature of our mission. That being said, when Commander Walker first came to me with these voiced concerns, he questioned me over my own intentions regarding my own child.
"At first, I was somewhat taken aback by his forwardness as I felt he was questioning my authority to command a starship while also caring for my child. But, as I retreated to my quarters that evening and watched as Kiernan lay sleeping in her bed, I began to understand his concerns. I began to see that he wasn't necessarily asking because he was questioning my command, he was asking for my child's sake, who didn't have a say in the matter because she didn't know what was about to come down the pike. He questioned whether I was willing to take on such a great risk, just as the other parents had inquired with him. I've been pondering the thought for over a week. With the plausibility of the Borg coming back, I don't want Kiernan or any of the other children, let alone my own crew, anywhere near them. The children are the most vulnerable as they really aren't capable of fending for themselves and should we come under attack, our primary focus, as those in command of the ship, has to be upon saving Voyager.
"Tomorrow, I have to meet with the crewmembers who are the parents of all the other children onboard. I don't know what decision they will make, but I have all ideas they will follow suit with whatever decision I make, which is why I'm here. As a Captain, I have to look out for my crew and I have to be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to go down with my ship. Fortunately, we've not been placed in any dire situations quite yet, but I fully anticipate that coming to fruition during this mission. That being said, I cannot fully decipher whether I would be capable of devoting one hundred percent of my focus on being the Captain of Voyager when I know that I also have a child onboard who has no one else to care for her while her mother sits in the big chair. And subsequently, I don't want my crew to think that by my not leaving my child behind, that they shouldn't either.
"I say all of that to say, as much as I despise asking for favors, I need to do so. For my own sake, I need to see if you both would be willing to take Kiernan into your home and lives and care for her. I fully well intend to return for her once this mission has been completed, but should something transpire, I want to know that she is safe and I know that she would be safe with the two of you – her grandparents. I know you haven't physically seen or touched her in almost three years, but she's not a stranger since you have near daily communications with each other. She is a handful, and I honestly hate even having to ask for a favor such as this. I'm not doing it so that it gives my crewmembers peace of mind in making their own decisions, I am doing it as Kate the Mother, who honestly fears for her own child's safety while on this mission. So, with that being said, and quite honestly I don't know how else to say it but, would you be willing to take care of my child for an indefinite period of time?"
Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged brief glances. Even though they spoke no words, they didn't have to as they both knew the other would respond the same exact way. Kathryn reached across the table and took Kate's hand in her own and held it for a few seconds before she summoned her response.
"Sweetheart, I know for a fact that I can speak for your father on this one, but you don't ever need to hesitate to ask us for anything at all, and particularly when it comes to Kiernan. I can understand your hesitation as when I found out I was pregnant with you, very similar thoughts crossed through my mind. But sadly, in some ways you're right, when we become a captain of a starship, sometimes our lives have to go on hold, which isn't fair to those around us or even ourselves, believe me, I know. We at times have to push our own desires and wishes, and even our families to the backburner, to uphold the values that we pledged to do. Is it fair? Is it right? I don't know as that is often debatable.
"You love what you do, but you also love and worship your daughter. You've done a remarkable job for the past three years balancing your personal and professional lives, and likely incorporating Kiernan into as much as possible upon Voyager. But that being said, I completely understand your hesitation. Chakotay and I would be honored to look after her and take care of her. You just let us know her schedule and what special things she needs and we'll take care of her. I'm actually humbled that you would even ask us to keep her."
Kate furrowed her eyebrows. "Why wouldn't I ask you? You're her grandmother and my mother. If this has anything to do with our past and the choice you made all those years ago, forget it. Kiernan loves and worships you more than anything. I think it'll be good for her to adapt to life on Earth. She does have a routine, but it'll be different here. She just needs to continue her schooling, but she does not require anything special nor do you need to give her any special treatments and spoil her. Just treat her as your own."
Chakotay smiled. "Have you talked to her about this?"
Kate laughed. "Commander Walker suggested I talk to her about this before I made my decision, but no, I haven't talked to her. I think she suspects something has been on my mind as she and I have been talking a lot about the two of you lately. And while I think she might be a bit apprehensive initially, she'll warm quickly. I just hope the other children will adjust, as well. But maybe somehow keeping them together will help, if they are in the same school and such. But won't this interfere with your lives?"
Kathryn shook her head no. "It'll be an adjustment, but the way our schedules are with my work and Chakotay's teachings, it'll actually be a perfect fit. And goodness knows that Cassie will enjoy having a playmate, too. But Kate, in turn, I want to ask you a favor."
Kate took a sip from her drink and raised her eyebrow in response to her mother's statement. "Okay?" she questioned with somewhat hesitation.
Kathryn glanced at Chakotay, as she somewhat wondered how Kate would respond to her demand before she responded.
"I want you to take Counselor Troi-Riker with you on this mission."
Kate looked rather shocked. "Deanna? Might I ask why?"
The look that came across Kathryn's face was full of sincerity. "You know why, Kathryn. You're going to need her. You lost Michael, but you had Kiernan to fill the void. This time, you're not going to have Kiernan, and I don't know what you may or may not face while on this mission. Plus, I know you're wired like me, and at some point, everything that has happened is going to hit you at full force, and I want her there with you to support you and to guide you."
Kate sat stoically and didn't initially respond, as she let it all sink in. She knew in the past three years, she had remained strong for the sake of her daughter. But there had been moments when she had teetered on the edge of collapse – from losing Michael to reflecting back on other things in her past that still haunted her. Taking Deanna along may not be a bad thing, as she honestly could likely use a good ear to confide in at the moment, but she didn't like the way her mother suddenly brought this out and upon her.
"Are you ordering me to take her?" Kate responded with a slight trace of tension hidden within her voice,
Picking upon the brief tonal inflection change, Chakotay raised his eyebrow fearing that a war was about to break out between the Admiral and the Captain, so he decided to intervene.
"She's not ordering you, but I'm sure she could if you forced her to pull rank," he paused to let his statement hang out there for a moment before changing his tone to concern. "Kate, we are concerned about you. You've been through an enormous amount in your life, and the past five years have been tumultuous to say the least with your own near brushes with death, the loss of your husband and so many other incidents. This mission is going to allow you too much alone time, too much quiet time. Back during our span in the Delta Quadrant, your mother went through a very similar period where she had had so much piled up on her that she finally snapped and was about to do something very irrational until the crew and I intervened. She had all but isolated herself from the crew and wouldn't allow anyone to reason with her. The one day during the midst of her solitude, our ship was somewhat attacked by an alien race, who merely wanted protection from another alien race. She was prepared to stay behind in the Delta Quadrant, alone in a shuttle, to save Voyager and protect the alien race. She wasn't thinking clearly because she had allowed the past of being trapped in the Delta Quadrant and numerous other issues catch up with her and cloud her judgment.
"I'm not saying that you would react that same way as you are wired both differently than your mother and I. But I know you won't confide in anyone on that ship, not even Galina Amaez. So, for our sakes and for Kiernan's, take Deanna. I know you trust her, and you'll have time to talk and open up to her about whatever is plaguing your mind. Additionally, she will be a useful assessment particularly with her abilities should you encounter the Borg."
Kate listened to the words of her father, and Kathryn could tell that she had somewhat become less defensive. She leaned back and turned her head to face the breeze and stared off into the sparkling waters of the San Francisco Bay. She was deep in thought. She knew what her parents were saying was accurate and very likely true, but in some ways, she still hated being confronted by her past in that way. Yet deep down, she knew she couldn't likely handle it on her own, as she thought she could.
Glancing back towards them, she finally replied. "Is Deanna in on this? I mean I know the Titan is also in orbit, but asking her to leave not only her current position onboard the Titan but ultimately leave her husband, that's a big request."
Kathryn cleared her throat before responding. "Yes, Deanna is aware of this. She, Will, Chakotay and I all have had a discussion about this. They are as equally worried about you as Chakotay and I are. Will knows the sacrifice and the risk, but he has agreed and honestly thinks it's for the best. He even said not only would it be a benefit for you, but it could also prove an asset for the crew because who knows what you may or may not encounter. None of us want you and your crew going on this mission, but Starfleet chose the best that there was and the ship that is most capable. Ultimately, we know what's at stake, and it's not an ultimatum by any means. I don't mean to say that we won't take care of Kiernan if you don't take Deanna, not at all. It's merely a strong suggestion that you take her with you."
Kate nodded her head and stared off again into the distance for a few moments leaving both her parents wondering what was going through her mind. "Let me give it some thought. I'm not opposed to it explicitly, but let me think about it, and you'll have my decision first thing in the morning. I've got to get back to Voyager and talk with Kiernan about all of this, and then conduct a meeting with the other crewmembers in the morning, as well. Once I finish that, I'll let Will and Deanna know my decision, as well as Starfleet because I am sure there will have to be some sort of transfer notification completed. Additionally, at some point tomorrow, Kiernan and I will beam back down and meet up with the two of you, as well."
Chakotay patted her hand. "I'm looking forward to seeing her again. Do you think she's going to put up any sort of resistance to leaving you?"
Kate shrugged her shoulders. "That I'm not sure. You both know she's highly intelligent and knows more than most children her age or even several years older. She's never lived anywhere but Voyager, aside from the few months as a newborn when we were here. So, I think it'll be an adjustment, but since she knows the two of you via subspace communications, I think she will adapt well. I'll try to give you a heads up, but I think what will likely happen is that she may likely become very clingy, and Mom, I'm not sure how well you'll handle that."
Chakotay chuckled and Kathryn furrowed her eyebrows. "Why would you say that?" she questioned.
"Well, you don't necessarily seem like the clingy, touchy-feely type person. I could be highly wrong about that. I mean Kiernan is very hard-headed and strong-willed, so she's not that way with me unless she's very tired or anxious. Often we'll cuddle or something before she goes to bed or something simple. She's a very loving child, so naturally, I'm going to assume that she's going to latch on to you, so I just want you to be prepared for that."
Kathryn titled her head sideways and smirked. "Well, I can be a cuddler, too," she added and laughed, which elicited a roll of the eyes in response from Kate. "Actually, you're probably right, I used to not always be the clingy type, as I didn't handle that very well. Phoebe was more natured in the loving way, but as I've gotten older, I've become more loving and adaptive, right Chakotay?"
Kate threw up both hands and made a coughing sound. "I don't want to know about that."
Chakotay chuckled and smiled, "She is very loveable with Cassie. I think you've seen snippets of that side of her with Cassie, plus you've seen it with yourself. When she's relaxed and with you outside of work, she lets her true colors come out. She'll be fine with Kiernan, I'm sure of it."
Kate couldn't help but smile as he always had a way to reassure her, even though she knew Kathryn and Kiernan would be completely fine. "Well, I think losing the red hair might have helped a lot," Kate commented replying to her mother's adjustment back to her normal brownish red hair with specks of grey becoming more prevalent, as opposed to the flaming red locks that she had transformed into several years ago. "Not that I didn't like the hair, but this is your natural and it is much more becoming and maternal on you."
Chakotay laughed, to which Kathryn shot him a death glare. "What?" he laughing said. "She's telling the truth, Kathryn. While the red hair did bring out an entirely different personality, one that I quite enjoyed, I do prefer the natural look, if I had to choose."
"What about him?" Kathryn excitedly replied while pointing to Chakotay. "His hair color has changed, but you don't say anything about that?"
Kate laughed. "Well, Mom, I don't recall Edoda every having anything other than black or salt and pepper. He didn't go through a mid-life crisis and spice up his life by adding red to his hair. Now did he? He actually looks dashing and more scholarly like the professor he is with his more natural silvery hair."
He smiled. "Thank you, sweetheart. And you're right, I didn't feel the need to add any color to my hair, but I think I did spice up my life," he added while wrapping his arm around Kathryn's shoulders and pulling him closer to him before kissing her cheek. "You could add some burgundy highlights if you wanted," he joked.
Kathryn rolled her eyes and stood from the table. "It never fails you two always gang up on me, but that's okay, I'll be sure to train my little Kiernan to always side with me," she added with a wink.
Kate stood and went around to hug both of her parents. "Thank you both for being willing to undertake this monumental task. I've got to get back to the ship, but I'll be in touch tomorrow morning."
They walked with her back to the transport station where she vanished before their eyes. Kathryn turned to look at Chakotay, who was smirking down at her. "Do we know what we just got ourselves in to?" she asked.
He laughed. "Well, if Kiernan is as stubborn and hard-headed as her grandmother, we're all in trouble. But, Kathryn, in a way, Kate is also offering us a second chance on a silver platter."
"What do you mean?" she asked while taking hold of his hand as they talked back towards Starfleet Headquarters.
"You always said you regretted giving her up for adoption, and she knew how I always wished I had been able to see her grow up, too. What if she's entrusting us with keeping Kiernan almost as a gift? Almost as if she knows what we both longed for and she's giving us that time to spend and watch Kiernan mature. No, it won't be for her entire childhood and youth, but it's an opportunity that we've both wanted. I personally think Kate has been debating this long before Commander Walker even mentioned it to her."
Kathryn stopped walking and studied him carefully. Tears slowly crept in to her eyes but she blinked them back so they didn't fall down her face. "You may be right, Chakotay. Even if that wasn't her immediate intention; it is almost like a second chance. No, it's not her, but it's the next closest thing."
He gave her a quick hug knowing she had to get back to some meetings. After kissing her on the cheek, he looked deep in her eyes. "Just don't spoil her, Kathryn. I'm not sure Kate would ever forgive us for that."
"Me!?" she exclaimed. "I doubt I'll be the one spoiling her."
He laughed and watched as she disappeared back into the building to her office before he carefully strode back to his office at the Academy to re-examine his schedule as their lives were drastically about to change.