Last Words
Jo pushes a shaky hand to her abdomen. She feels the blood seep through the once white ace bandage and she can't bear to look. She feels the red-hot liquid cover her fingers. Her neck pulses with a deep searing pain. She tries to over hear what the others are saying a few feet away but the throbbing pain keeps ringing louder and louder and pulls her into a semi-unconscious state.
This is really it, she thinks. The end. She's young, but the life she's chosen to live has led her to this moment and there is no going back. Her chest staggers as she struggles to breathe. Her head swims and she thinks about how she's following in her father's footsteps.
She made a promise to herself, years ago, to steer clear of the Winchesters. But here she was bleeding and torn, and hanging on his every word. Every bit of reassurance he's given her is as much of a lie as when John Winchester swore to protect her daddy.
She's doing the same thing, isn't she? Relying on a Winchester to get her out of trouble. Needing someone else to save her life. Well if these were her last minutes on earth, then she'd ju j st have to do things differently.
It doesn't matter that the man standing off to her right is the only man she'll ever love.
She tried to walk that path and she'd only been pushed off track. She doesn't regret it either, not if it means he'll live.
She looks at him, really looks at him. She sees the deep sorrow that has sunk in his eyes. The deep lines of worry and fear that brim his forehead. For the first time she really sees him, and knows he cares too.
She convinces them to let her die, even her mother. She convinces them that this is the best and only strategy they have. It's no skin off her back because she knows she's not going anywhere.
She's ready. She's ready to die, and really all she can think of is how much she needs the pain to stop. She coughs again, struggling for more air. Her insides threaten to spill out and she can feel that the only thing keeping them inside is the pressure of her own hand.
Her eyes flutter open and closed as she struggles to watch them prepare the bombs. If she was going out, at least she was going out in style and even taking a few evil sons of bitches with her.
Sam says goodbye, and she struggles not to cry. Her heart breaks a little, when reality sets in. She thinks about Duluth, and how it means nothing now. She loves him like a brother.
She can see her mother's look of desperation as Sam walks away. The rubber on his boots makes a sharp squeal and it rings in her head like a bell on church Sunday.
Dean kneels next to her. She realizes, despite how close she is to death that her heart is still beating for him. They danced around their feelings for each other for years and this is finally it. This is the moment that marks the end of her world and the last time she'll ever see his face.
She takes in all his features. The soft stubble on his chin from neglect, the worried lines coursing over his forehead, the deep sunken eyes from lack of sleep, and the abundance of sun kissed freckles littering his face. His eyes are soft and doe eyed, and she fights the urge to cry.
"I'll see you on the other side," he says softly after placing the detonator in her hand. He turns pulling back, as if to leave but places a kiss on her head gripping her shoulders. She can feel his desperation.
Jo's eyes close and a few tears spill over. She's never needed someone so much. For the past three years she was a a ble to fight the feelings she had for him. Right now, it was a different story. She'd give anything for things to be different.
She feels her heartbeat quicken when his eyes meet hers. He moves closer and she can feel the heat of his breath on her face. His lips touch hers and she feels the world tilt. She doesn't know whether it's due to his soft lips, or the blood spilling from her torso. She doesn't care. Their tongues meet and she can feel every ounce of the lust and heat that she's always felt for him pour into the kiss. He meets her, taking what she never knew he wanted. When the kiss deepens and her neck throbs, she ignores it.
Dean finally pulls away, his face scrunched in agony.
Jo closes her eyes and struggles again to breathe. "I.. never could say." She pauses.
Dean opens his mouth to speak, still holding her head, "I know."
"Dean, I love you." Tears stream down her face as she chokes out the words.
"Me too, I love you." She can see his face harden, the way it does when he tries to fight something.
She nods and then manages a smile when he steals the last kiss from her lips. She can't stop the tears when he finally gets up and walks away.
She argues with her mother when she sits beside her, urges her not to stay. She can't stand the thought of her mother dying too. She gives up and is happy she doesn't have to do this alone.
The Winchesters are gone, and she'll never see them again. Jo feels her hands and arms become heavy. The pain is striking up and beyond and she doesn't want to hold on anymore.
The last thing she hears is her mother's voice and then she's floating.