How Naruto Will End (NS-style)
Naruto and Sasuke rose their arms up to their heads to wipe their sweat off of their foreheads. They have been battling for a godly long time. About 5 hours to be exact. Everyone in Konoha was watching the epic battle in the background. And Madara? He was already dead. And so was Kabuto. For not absolute reason had this already happened.
Alright. You got me. Kabuto and Madara were already dead because Sasuke is supposed to be the final villain. Just because. He's so evil that there's no redemption for him. Ever.
Sasuke and Naruto charged at one another with Rasengan and Chidori. Naruto managed to hit Sasuke in the pelvis with his powerful chakra ball. Sasuke's chidori suddenly disappeared. Sasuke cried out in pain. He fell to the ground and held his stomach. Naruto looked down at the Uchiha with a pleasing grin. "How do you like that Sasuke! Now you're going to die and I'll become Hokage! Just as Kishimoto planned!" Said Naruto.
Sasuke collapsed and died. A few seconds later the whole village population came up to Naruto to congratulate him. Sakura went up to Naruto and gave him a biiiiig hug. "Oh Naruto, I knew you could do it! You killed that evil Sasuke who is so evil 'cause he's evil!" Sakura praised.
"I know. I can be Hokage now. Without killing that evil bastard, I wouldn't have fulfilled my life dream…having hot sex with you!"
"Oh Naruto, I love you!"
Naruto and Sakura crashed their lips into each other and held it for what seemed like weeks. The villagers 'awed' at the true NS lub. Soon, the two fell over and started to have sex on Sasuke's bloody corpse! It was the most sexy(blinding) thing anyone could possibly bear to see. The villagers continued to cheer for the beautiful(disgusting) NS.
"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT." The silence was broken by Kakashi.
"Yes Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked while Naruto nipped at her ear.
"What was the point of this whole damn story? I mean, what happened to the whole other half of Naruto where you wanted Sasuke back and Sakura was in love with Sasuke?" Kakashi questioned.
"That? Oh, you! All of this only happened because of Shonen law! The main guy and the main girl are supposed to end up together when the other love interests that get in the way die a long, painful death for the sake of the pairing to happen!" Naruto explained.
"So, Hinata…?" Kakashi asked.
"She's dead! I killed her!" Sakura said.
"Yeah, she's laying over there behind a building. Sakura did the deed while I killed Sasuke. So everything works out now!" Naruto rambled on.
"Yeah, that fat cow was in the way of my true love for Nardo. How could she! She's such a stalker!" The jealous(lolyeahright) Sakura said.
"This doesn't even sound like Naruto anymore. What the hell happened to the storyline? And why are Naruto and Sakura acting so out of character?" Kakashi asked confusingly.
"Kakashi, you've been reading too much of them books! They're messing up the ways you view true love!" Naruto told him.
"He's onto us!" Yamato screeched like a little school girl who saw a spider.
All of a sudden, Sai walked behind Kakashi and grabbed him. He also covered his mouth and began to drag him away. Somewhere unknown. Most likely the place that is sugarcoated as 'Heaven and Earth'. Hell.
The next day, Naruto became Hokage and at the same time married his precious Sakura-chan. They sat in the Hokage office every day from then on and had hot smex. No one could get in the way of their true love! Anyone who objects NS is sentenced to death. We know who you are.
Sakura walked up behind Naruto to massage his shoulders. "It's such a good thing we killed that evil Sasuke and fat cow Hinata. I mean, it's such a positive thing to kill someone for a couple to go canon. That's how true love really works. Plus, we also have to act out of character as well for us to work out." Sakura explained.
"I agree Sakura. Now let's have hot sex on Sasuke's grave, then we can do it again on Hinata's grave, to rub it in their faces."
"Okay!"
The two walked off into the sunset holding hands. The two also began to fly. What an outstanding(outrageous) sight it was! This was in fact a happy ending. But it was only a happy ending for Naruto and Sakura. Who were out of character and if they were in character they wouldn't be happy. But oh well! NS makes everyone happy! THE END. 8D
NaruSaku: In order for it to work out, all of the characters that involve the pairing have to be so out of character that it's royally confusing and makes you want to smack your head into a brick wall. Hinata has to be out of character as well. And so does Sai and the villagers. The whole meaning and theme of the story also have to change for it to happen. So basically the characters and plot must change and be twisted dramatically to fit the pairing going canon. But that's why it's supposed to be called Heaven and Earth, which in reality sounds like hell if you read the paragraphs above.
/facepalm