What am I supposed to do,
When the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say,
When I'm all choked up because you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces,
I'm falling to pieces.
.
.
.
Hello from the other side,
I must have called a thousand times,
To tell you I'm sorry,
For everything that I've done,
But when I call, you never,
Seem to be home.
.
.
.
That girl is opaque, thought Gray, watching Lucy.
Lucy Heartfilia, the treasure of their school. An invaluable student, excellent in both academics and sports. Everyone either admired her or hated her desperately, out of envy. He was neither. He simply observed.
Like milk. Or like glass, that's clouded over.
Like a one-way mirror.
He should hate her, he reflected. For everything that's happened. For the tears and the lies and the suffering – everything. The leaving. The saying of goodbye.
But all he could muster against her was weary indifference. That girl was a wisp of air. Nothing she did or said left any mark on him anymore.
He watched her smile with her friends, eating under the willow in the school courtyard. Watched her lift a hand to brush her hair back behind her ear, watch her squint slightly at the bright sunlight.
What now?
Where does he go from here? What happens next? Was it over? Was there never going to be anything else? No more talking, no more discussing favorite shows, no more spending time together, no more anything?
I wish I could see into your mind.
Then, I'd know if you felt the same way as I did.
That boy is transparent, thought Lucy, watching Gray.
Gray Fullbuster, the resident cool boy of their school. A veritable heartthrob, who charmed practically every girl he met. Every guy envied him and wanted to be him. Every girl simply wanted him. She didn't. Not anymore.
Like bubbles. Vanishing into the sunlight.
Like a lens you can peer into.
She turned away when he looked a bit in her direction.
She keenly felt the absence of… of whatever they'd had before. The being together. The walking together, speaking to each other, holding hands. The knowledge that she was his, and he was hers.
She felt that he hated her – he must. Everything she did, everything she said, everything – all of it was uncalled for. And cruel. And harsh.
But was there any good way to say goodbye?
What now?
Was that it? All because of a few words, everything had evaporated into thin air. Was it always going to be nothing? Were they always going to end up hurting each other, always accidentally, but never learning?
I wish I couldn't read you so well.
Then, I wouldn't have to know how much you hated me.
Lucy was a ripple on the water.
Though it may brush by you, the more you try to get hold of it, the more it pulls away.
.
.
.
Gray was a tsunami.
Everything, every feeling, every emotion crashed down on you, leaving you feeling like you're drowning and getting swept away.
.
.
.
Lucy's hands kept him warm.
Small, candle-like fingers, gripping tightly onto his, so securely that he'd believed they would never let go.
.
.
.
Gray's smile still haunted her.
Small, even teeth, a lopsided tilt of his lips, beaming so brightly that she'd almost believed she'd never let him go.
.
.
.
He prayed, everyday, that he was dreaming.
.
.
.
She knew it was goodbye.
.
.
.
He missed her.
.
.
.
She'd moved on.
.
.
.
He loves her.
.
.
.
She loved him.
.
.
.
On the ledge, while you're so,
Goddamn polite and composed,
I know you see me,
You're making it look so easy,
What comes and goes, I'd go without,
I know you're fine but what about me?
Author's Note: deep. I almost never use song lyrics
History:
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published, December 13, 2015
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Working out some personal stuff and some feelings. Feel free not to take this seriously.
Also I'm seriously getting into Niobe's Tears guys but the chapters are long as fuck
also hot damn I keep singing Adele's Hello everywhere like in the bathroom, in McDonalds, at my camp, in a car, in fact I even shouted "Hello from the other side!" while I went down a zipline damn that song is good
Disclaimer: fairy tail doesn't deserve the honor of being mine.