AN: First of all, I just want to say that the events of this fic will be the same as of original novel but the characters genders have switched, as well as their personalities (well a little bit, too fit in with their genders ya know?)

Anyways, I hope you all like it! I haven't written anything for almost two years and I've been itching to write an oregairu fanfic ever since I've finished reading the first volume of the novel a few weeks ago. So I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes, plot holes and the likes.

Much thanks to Frog-kun and the nanodesu peeps for the translation btw! (I hope its okay that I copied most of the stuff? I did try my best to write it on my own though)

Finally, I do not own Oregairu and its wonderful characters.

PROLOGUE

Looking back on High School life

Youth is a lie, it's idiotic, stupid, and it's downright evil.

The youth of today are so overwhelmingly positive, that even though bad things happen, even if they make life-changing mistakes, they'll find some positive excuse just to prove themselves of their youth.

Like for an example, if such people fail an important exam because they went partying, they will just say that school isn't just about learning, it's about fun and all that crap. If their wallets got stolen by some thief, they would just claim that life's hard and such things happen.

To them, lies, secrets, crimes and even failure are nothing but the spice of one's youth. And what's funny is, while they that their own failures are part of their "oh so wonderful" youth, they don't give a crap about the failures of others.

If failure could be seen as proof of one's youth, then wouldn't it be strange to think that one's failure to socialize is proof of it? I'm pretty sure they wouldn't even think about it.

And that is why they are evil. That is why youth is a sham. It's stupid, full of lies and fraud that should be kicked out of the face of the earth!

Ironically speaking, those who don't acknowledge their youth are the real heroes.

In conclusion, everyone should just freaking die!

CHAPTER 1

In any case, Hikigaya Hachiko is corrupt

My Japanese teacher, Shizuka Hiro, sighed deeply after reading my essay aloud. As I listened, I realized that I probably should have used better words and phrases but hey, I'm just a 2nd year high school girl! Also, I don't think it's terrible enough for him to sigh that deeply. Give me a break Hiro-sensei!

Come to think of it, did he call me here to the teacher's lounge to sigh at my work? That couldn't be it right? The thought made me want to cry.

"Hikigaya-kun, wasn't the title of the essay 'Looking back on High School Life', not 'Looking back on Evil Youths?" he asked in a disappointed tone. He waved my paper as if treating it like some weird shounen manga that no one would want to read.

"Um...w-well, I did reflect on my high school life, that's how life down here is you know! Y-You wouldn't understand!"

I always stutter when I talk, but talking to Hiro-sensei made me more nervous so I raised my voice near the end. Talking is so troublesome.

"Usually, you answer these kinds of essays by writing down your experiences, don't you?"

"E-eh, well, you should have said so in the instructions. It's your fault for giving out such a misleading title, sensei."

"Please don't use my choice of titles as an excuse, Hikigaya-kun. It's completely obvious what the title was trying to convey."

Sensei looked like some kindergarten teacher rather than a high school one. He was young, cheery and he's always concerned about his students, but right now, he was downright annoying.

Also the title really is misleading!

Sensei rubbed his chin, as if deep in thought.

"Unless...you didn't have any experiences to write down about."

My forehead felt very wet suddenly.

"Do you have any friends, Hikigaya-kun?"

"W-well, the thing is-"

"Aha! I knew it, so that's the problem huh. It was obvious from your dull demeanor, but I don't like to judge a book by its cover."

"P-People with dull demeanors have feelings too you know!"

Hiro-sensei stood up and proceeded to take a good look at me, bottom to top.

I stiffened, wh-what is he doing!? Is he suddenly realizing that my dull demeanor isn't so dull? Dammit Hiro-sensei, make up your mind!

Then he clasped his fist on his hand with a sudden bright face, almost making me jump.

"I see! I got it. Come with me."

Hah? What's going on? Is he-

My eyes widened and I hugged my breasts firmly. I-I may not have been invited by a boy (let alone a young man such as sensei) before but I'm not so gullible as to follow him out! T-This is outrageous! I feel violated already! Someone call 911!

In return to my horrified look, sensei gave me a completely deadpan face.

"Please erase whatever your naive mind is thinking and follow me to the special building."

I blinked a few times before he became impatient and flicked me in the forehead.

"Hurry up!"

"I-it's not like I was thinking of anything naive!" I bellowed, while I rubbed my throbbing forehead.

Sensei muttered something in the lines of, "As if I would do something to a dull girl like you..."

H-how rude! I'm still a young lady! I may look dull but at least I could satisfy a man! M-Maybe...

Sensei led me to the special building. He walked leisurely, which was annoying 'cause I wanted this to be over with as soon as possible. I've already wasted a whole ten minutes there at the teacher's lounge. I would've been halfway to my house by now.

After a death march through crowded hallways filled with the youth that I hated so much, we finally reached our destination. The classroom in front of us didn't really look anything special. It didn't even have a nameplate. Even so, Sensei slid the door open with a clang.

"We're comin' in." he announced in a sing-song tone.

I observed the classroom curiously. There were tables and chairs stacked up in the edges of the room. Other than that, there really wasn't anything special.

Well, except for the unavoidable presence of a boy sitting near the window.

By the shining daylight, he was reading a book.

Said boy was propped in a rather lazy manner. While his left hand was rested on the table while holding his book, his right was behind the head of his chair. He was sucking on a lollipop too. He looked so carefree that even though the world was ending, he'd probably still be reading while sucking a lollipop. Well, that was my first impression anyway.

I found myself staring at his profile, his face, his sharp features, his skin which seemed to shine under the daylight...

He was captivating.

Noticing that he had visitors, the boy closed his book and put it aside. He gave Hiro-sensei a deep frown.

"Have you heard of knocking, Hiro-sensei?"

"Even if I do, you never answer them." Hiro-sensei replied with a shrug.

"It's 'cause you enter before I could even answer."

"It's because you're slow."

The boy sighed in annoyance to sensei's words and lazily threw the lollipop stick out the window. He took notice of me and gave me a quick once-over with cold eyes.

"So who's this shrimp?"

I know this guy...Yukinoshita Yukine was it?

Of course, I only knew him by face and name. I don't like talking to people after all. I-it's not like I know him 'cause he's hot or anything!

Yukinoshita belongs to Grade 11, Class J, a special class known for being flashy and having higher standards than normal classes.

Particularly, Yukinoshita Yukine is the only one who stands out quite brilliantly among his classmates because he is the most perfect and handsome guy in school, hence everyone, even me, knows who he is.

So even if he doesn't know who I am, I don't feel hurt. (Not that I would feel hurt if anyone didn't know who I was...) Though, 'shrimp' may have been a bit hurtful. Dull girls have feelings too you know? Sniffle.

"Miss Hikigaya here is looking forward to joining the club."

Seeing that Yukinoshita's raised his eyebrows at me, I ought to introduce myself, but before I did, I felt my cheeks burn and my heart beat faster. Damned female hormones!

"Ah, I-I'm Hikigaya Hachiko - Grade 11, Class F...w-w-wait a minute, w-what do you mean by looking forward to joining this club?"

Sensei completely ignored me and began talking as if he already knew what I would say.

"You can tell by her looks and way of speaking that she is in desperate need of help. That is to say, she is a poor lonely, little girl."

Hey! I'm right here you know!

"I'm requesting that you help Miss Hikigaya-kun out with her poor social skills and cynical way of thinking." Hiro-sensei said with a generous smile but his tone was more mocking than generous.

Yukinoshita replied with a snort. "If that's the case, you ought to show some discipline to her."

"I would, but that's against my dignity as a man! Ahaha!"

What the heck sensei, I'm calling 911!

"I didn't mean physical discipline." Yukinoshita replied with a sigh. "If she is so scared talk to another human being, then you could have just thrown her to a place where socializing is required, such as a mixer or a club."

"Hey, she's still underage! What would people think if they find out that I brought this poor young lady to a club? "

And even if I went there, I would've ran away as soon as a guy sat down beside me…

"Those were just examples." Yukinoshita implied with a slight shrug.

"I know what you mean, but I'm already doing that. I'm throwing her here to the service club, to interact with you."

"You could have thrown her into a more sociable club like a sports club or something."

Sensei grinned slightly as if Yukinoshita's reply wasn't so smart. "See, Hikigaya-kun is a delicate girl, it wouldn't be a good idea to throw her to a pile immediately right? It's better if she's thrown here, where she can start with you and then with your future clients one by one. That way, even though it's a slow process, Hikigaya-kun can gradually learn how to socialize. Haha! Isn't that a good idea? I'm such a great teacher."

Yukinoshita and I glowered at Hiro-sensei as he rubbed the bottom of his nose arrogantly. What an annoying teacher.

Also, can you guys not use the word 'throw'? I'm not a piece of trash, dammit!

"Well, I have to admit that's a good idea, and I can't exactly refuse…" Yukinoshita sighed in exasperation before continuing. "Fine, I'll accept your request."

Sensei beamed. "Alrighty then! I'll leave her to you."

And with that, Sensei gave me a pat in the shoulder and left to room. I could hear him whistling as he left.

And so I was left alone in a room with the most handsome guy in school.

W-wait a minute?! Is this for real? A quiet girl and a handsome boy, stuck together in an isolated room, not to mention that we're only the club members. It's like my life has turned into some cliché shoujo manga!

I could feel a thick black air of tension circulating the room, but my only concerns for now is this Adonis clone who was already reading his book again.

I suddenly remembered a very dark chapter of my past.

It was a beautiful day. A handsome boy and a girl were left alone in their classroom stuck in cleaning duty.

"Hey, you're pretty cute. Want to hang out sometime?" he asked suddenly. I turned around in astonishment. I-is this what I think it is? I felt my cheeks burn, my heart accelerate and my stomach churned in excitement.

"I would love to!"

Turns out a girl just came in, mistaking our classroom as hers. She was a beauty and the guy took advantage. They both gave me weird looks before exiting the classroom.

Thinking about that day made me want to jump off a cliff.

Guys like him are obviously only interested in big breasted sluts and cutesy bitches. They are my enemies!

So instead of greeting him like someone normally would, I decided to intimidate Yukinoshita by scowling at him, making sure my eyes were full of hatred and my scowl was as deep as the ocean. In response, Yukinoshita glanced at me with razor-sharp eyes and sighed coldly. Then with a voice like that of a badass hero from an action movie, he spoke to me.

"Stop standing there like an idiot and sit down."

"O-o-okay." I squeaked and clumsily pulled up an empty chair across him and sat down.

What is with those eyes? Do they have invisible daggers in them? I seriously felt like I've been cut a hundred million times. This guy could have killed at least ten people by now.

After that, he didn't show me an ounce of concern and began to flip through his book again.

I gazed at him hesitantly.

Yukinoshita Yukine is really worthy of being called a noble or a genius. But despite that, he doesn't belong to any social circles like most people similar to him. He may look like a male model of a famous magazine, but his cold eyes and sharp tongue scares away even the friendliest of people. He's untouchable. All you could ever do is watch his graceful features at a distance.

This is really something. Of all the people to be alone with, it had to be him. I'm sure if my friends found out about this, they'd be super jealous. Haha! Well, if I had any friends to begin with...

Dangit, if only he wasn't so cold, this could have been my chance to have a shoujo manga life! How annoying.

"You have a problem, Hikigaya?"

It was probably because I was staring at him for too long, but Yukinoshita shifted his gaze at me in displeasure.

I felt my cheeks burning again.

"Ah, w-well, it's just that I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing here..."

Yukinoshita clicked his tongue and shut his book. "I guess sensei didn't even give you a heads-up. As expected of him. Well, let's play a game then."

"A game?"

"Yeah, guess what this club this is."

Suddenly my inner girly hormones began to tingle. A game? Some sort of erotic image came to my mind, but looking at Yukinoshita, that image turned into that of a scene in Saw.

Then I began to ponder. Guessing from the complete lack of equipment, I guess it's some club that doesn't need many expenses, something like a book club or something. Also, Yukinoshita was reading a book, so that's definitely it.

"A literary club?"

Yukinoshita gave out a look of amusement. "Ho, what made you think that?"

"E-eh..well, you were reading a book, and there aren't many club members, also the room is lacking equipment so..."

"Yeah, well you got it wrong. Guess again."

Ugh. Why can't he just tell me what it is already? Is he really having fun playing this boring game? Or did he just offer to play this to make fun of me? Dangit this isn't fun at all! Though Yukinoshita seems to be eagerly waiting for my next guess. But I really don't know what the heck this club is...

"An occult club!" I guessed randomly with a big smile.

Yukinoshita scoffed. "Don't be an idiot, I don't believe in those occult crap."

I was too scared to retaliate even though I really wanted to yell at him and say, 'Gawdarnit! Just tell me what club this is so I can make a smart excuse to quit, you pathetic piece of hot stuff!', so I only puffed my cheeks in annoyance.

He seemed to understand the gesture though.

"Fine, I'll give you a hint. What I'm doing right now is part of this club's activities."

I cocked my head quizzically. Does he mean playing riddles and bullying a poor little girl like me? What kind of club does that? Uh...

"A mystery club...or a torture club…or something?"

"Are you an idiot?"

Gah! I'm going to shove you out of the window!

I sighed in exasperation. "I give up, I have no idea."

Yukinoshita clicked his tongue again. "You're pretty artless aren't you? Okay, what we do here is to help others with whatever problems they have. Simply put, we do something like volunteer work. Things like, providing development assistance to developing countries, organizing fun-runs for the homeless, helping a poor girl fix her social skill problems...things like that."

Yukinoshita had stood up and crossed his arms as he explained and faced me with an aura of nobleness, like a prince looking down on a poor beggar on the street.

He then grinned ever so slightly. "Welcome to the Service club."

I shrank on my seat. Despite his welcoming words, his tone didn't feel very welcoming at all. And that grin gave me goose bumps. It feels like I've been thrown into a cage and Yukinoshita is some evil witch, waiting for me to fatten up so he can gobble me down in one go. Gretel, save me!

But despite how intimidating he is, I must break free from the oven! I don't want to waste my time here in this club stuck with this intimidating guy! I'd rather be alone! I'm already used to it. Honestly, I could've been home by now in the comforts of my soft, wonderful bed.

"Y-you know, I didn't get to have a say about this, so-" I began, but Yukinoshita shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. Hiro-sensei gave you to me, so you're mine now. I'll solve all your problems, be it your weak way of talking or that boring appearance of yours."

W-W-W-W-WHAT? My cheeks flared. What is this guy? His choice of words is terrible! I'm going to kick him in the balls one day!

"What are you talking about?! I don't need help...I-I ranked third in in the Japanese proficiency exam, you know?! A-Also I may not wear any make-up or fancy trinkets but my face is pretty cute! At least I'm showing my true beauty! See? Apart from not having friends or a boyfriend, I'm pretty cool." I retorted with a 'harumph!', although it sounded more like a little girl on the verge of tears because her classmates teased her with another boy.

Yukinoshita let out a scornful laugh. "Amazing. I'm surprised you said all that so confidently, although you did say some pitiful stuff there in the end."

"S-Shut up! I don't want to hear that from a weirdo like you!"

Yukinoshita only laughed again. Wearing a sadistic smile on his face, he added. "I see that your sour attitude is the cause of you not having any friends. As for your appearance, well, looks can't be judged by oneself subjectively can they? In other words, since were the only ones in this room, my opinion is the only correct option."

I shrank on my seat. "T-that was very confusing but somehow it kind of made sense..."

"Now then," he continued as he sat back down on his chair. "That should be enough conversation practice for you. If you can converse to a guy like me, you should be able to talk to just about anybody." He said in a rather accomplished tone. Then he smiled pleasantly. "Such a convo with a handsome guy, now you'll have a pleasant memory to think about whenever you're alone. Don't you feel refreshed?"

How was that refreshing?! Despite how handsome he looked with that smile, my face only twitched in annoyance.

"I-its not like I can't hold a conversation with anyone. I just don't like to hold pointless conversations, that's all. Hmph!"

"Doesn't matter. I have to fulfill sensei's request. It'd be nice if I could just solve this problem though. Like for example, having you stop going to school."

"That isn't a solution. That's just like covering up a stench..."

"So you know that you're being a nuisance, huh?

"Is that why I get foul glares and people avoid me?" I attempted to say in a mocking tone, but to no avail.

He had fished a lollipop from his pocket as I said that. Then he unwrapped it, put it in his mouth and gave me an icy cold glare as if saying 'Go die in hell you dull bitch!'

I recoiled and averted my gaze to different directions. If I stared back at that terrifying glare, I felt like I would melt on the spot. I felt like crying, someone save me!

Silence emerged again - enough to make my ears hurt. After that conversation, I think they began to bleed and the silence is only making it more painful.

Luckily enough, it was soon shattered by the clang of the sliding door, opened by Hiro-sensei whom I'm actually quite happy to see right now.

"I'm comin' in!"

"Whut did I shay about knocking?" Yukinoshita said in annoyance, lollipop still in his mouth.

Hiro-sensei only grinned. "Sorry, sorry. I came by to see how you've been doing. Well, Hikigaya-kun? Did you have a good talk with Yukinoshita-kun here?"

I showed him a weary expression as if saying 'Save me from this hellhole!', which made him frown.

He faced Yukinoshita and asked him in a disappointed tone. "Was there a problem?"

Yukinoshita closed his eyes, took the lollipop out of his mouth and shrugged. "It's just that this girl doesn't even realize her own problems."

This feeling...I feel like I want to melt into a puddle and die a peaceful death.

"Um..It's not that."

Yukinoshita and Hiro-sensei cocked their heads towards me.

"You guys have been saying things about helping me out and stuff like that, but I've never really asked for it..."

Hiro-sensei tilted his head in slight confusion. "Hm? What are you saying? If you don't change, it'll be hard for you to continue living in a society that requires conversational skills to survive. You're difficulty in speaking, you're cynical way of thinking, don't you want to change that? Don't you want to have friends?"

"I-It's not like I want to have friends, I don't care if my social skills are terrible. I don't need to socialize anyway. I mean, why make friends if I don't even like the way how others think? So can you guys not tell me what to do or who to be?"

I folded my arms and knotted my eyebrows crossly, hopefully giving them an aura of exasperation. But Yukinoshita only laughed scornfully.

"You're just running away."

"Changing oneself would be 'running away', wouldn't it? Why can't you just accept who I am?!"

Yukinoshita and I stared daggers at each other across the table as if having an intense mental battle, but Hiro-sensei quickly chopped the space between us with his hand.

"Calm down you two. In shounen manga, when the beliefs of two parties conflict, it is usually solved by a contest to know who's right!"

Both of us stared at him with confused expressions.

"In other words, let's hold a contest to see which one of you is correct in your beliefs! I will guide troubled students to this club then the both of you will try and help them in whatever way you see fit. And in the journey both of you will prove you're moral righteousness the best way you can! So, can you help those people?! Ready, Fight!"

Sensei said this, complete with hand gestures and body movement. His eyes sparkled and his grin was broad. Ultimately, he looked like a little boy acting like his favorite super hero.

"That's stupid. And stop acting like a kid, sensei. It's gross and embarrassing." Yukinoshita grimaced and hurled those ice-cold sharp words to sensei without blinking an eye.

Sensei winced and straightened, but his ecstatic smile was still plastered on his face. "I-in any case, the only way to prove your thoughts is through your actions! You're going to have to have a contest whether you like it or not."

"That's pretty tyrannical..." I mumbled.

Seeing that both Yukinoshita and I are still unwilling to join his childish game, Hiro-sensei cleared his throat.

"The winner can order the loser around, how 'bout that?"

Yukinoshita's eyes seemed to sparkle after hearing what Sensei said because then he mused. "Anything...?"

"I respectfully refuse!" I immediately exclaimed, whilst firmly hugging my breasts. "I feel like my chastity is at stake here."

Then Yukinoshita looked like he was stopping himself from having a laughing fit. It was as if he heard a joke coming out from a really funny comedy show but he was watching it on his phone in a classroom so he couldn't show his laughter.

I almost jumped off my chair and strangled him.

Hiro-sensei seemed like he wanted to laugh his ass off as well, but he was better at hiding it than that idiot, Yukinoshita. "Don't worry, Hikigaya-kun. Yukinoshita-kun is a well and reserved gentleman, you're safe with him."

I glared at Yukinoshita who smiled bitterly. "He's right, don't worry, you're not my type at all."

One day, I'll be the prettiest girl in the world and when you're begging down on your knees for me I'll kick you in the shin repeatedly! Just you wait Yukinoshita Yukine!

"Grrr..."

Apparently Hiro-sensei took that as a yes because then, he beamed and clapped his hands once. "Great! Then that's settled. I'll judge who the winner will be, of course. Don't think about it too much and just act accordingly in an appropriate manner and do your best, you two!" Having uttered those words with a bright smile, Hiro-sensei left the room, leaving me and Yukinoshita alone once again.

While feeling like I've been beat up in a wrestling match, I sat there in silence as Yukinoshita went back to his book. After what seems to be a decade, a sound like that of a broken radio resounded, following it was a synthesized chime, indicating that it was the end of the school day. Yukinoshita suddenly closed his book and carefully put it in his bag. He stood up and gave me a fleeting glance and another menacing grin before exiting wordlessly.

And there I was, left all-alone. In my history of worst days ever, this day was the probably the worst of the worst. I was called to the teacher's lounge, forced to join a club and got verbally abused by the only club member who's good looks and popularity are wasted by his callous nature. Isn't talking to a hot guy supposed to be the happiest thing that could happen to a girl's life? My heart only sank in despair.

I'd rather talk to the posters filled with hot anime guys in my room than with that cold-blooded bastard. At least they don't talk back and they just smile at you every day.

And on top of that, I am forced to compete in a stupid match with him. With Yukinoshita, it's pretty obvious that I'll lose. I felt like sobbing. If he won, he'd probably command me with a terrifying grin on his perfectly handsome face and say something like, 'Go wear a fitting maid-outfit and dance around in public for me.'

I sighed. Youth really is terrible.

After losing a tournament, they shed tears to make themselves look pitiful. After failing a college entrance exam, they say that failure is part of life. After confessing to the person they like and getting rejected, they move-on, stating things like they were thinking about that person's happiness.

And there's that. Anticipating a shoujo manga high school life with that cross-grained bastard is definitely never going to happen. Hiro-sensei was wrong. My essay was perfect.

As I expected, youth is a lie, it's idiotic, stupid, and it's downright evil.

Yeah, I made Yukinoshita a bit of a badboy type 'cause it'd be more fun that way. Also the lollipop makes him hotter ok. X'D

Reviews, comments and constructive criticism are very much appreciated!

(PS. Is the title too weird? Idk, it feels weird to me but I can't think of anything else so yeah. Lol.)