The flower fell, along with its crystal container; slipping from her fingers even as she struggled to hold on to it.
The sound of the vial shattering seemed to fill the room, which had been so silent until now. She stared at the wreck for a few seconds; watching the spilled water begin to spread on the dark wooden floor, finding nooks and crannies to fill. The flower itself was surprisingly damaged, no one would have expected it to be so fragile had they seen its state some minutes ago; when it had stood proudly in full bloom on that small bedside table.
She looked at the scattered pieces of the plant on the floor, running over the names she had learned so long ago, on her third year at school. Stamen, pistil, tepals, whorled compound leaves and the qvonlamexa.
She took out a stick that was possibly made from wood, but it was so polished it was hard to tell what material made that sleek surface. With an expert flick of the wrist, she pointed said stick at the remains of what had been a beautiful if modest decoration and whispered "Reparo".
The clear crystal vial immediately came together again, glistening in the candlelight as if it had been made yesterday; its appearance juxtaposed with the spilled water and the shredded flower. She picked up the vial from the foot of her bed, gripping it carefully as to not drop it again. Pointing at the rim, she concentrated on the word aquamenti. Immediately the small bottle was overflowing with water, a lot of it dripping onto the already wet floor. She pursed her lips, knowing the kind of scolding Farnese would have for her for failing such a simple task.
Remembering her Charms teacher drove a wave of nostalgia through her, even though it had been less that a day since she graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcarft and Wizardry. She had a hard time registering the fact that she would probably not see the tall stone castle again, she would not be practising her hexes on Peeves on the courtyard, nor hear the praise of Proffessor Slughorn on her carefully crafted potions and the advice of Sam Westron, the older and gnarly herbology teacher.
She wondered if alumni would be allowed to visit the castle after graduation, to say hello to the teachers and take another look at the castle. She doubted it, since she had never seen an adult in Hogwarts who was not staff or a member of the Ministry of Magic.
As she replaced it on the table, she reminded herself that even if she DID return to Hogwarts one day, the school would probably be changed. Professor Dumbledore had announced during their last feast that Westron was retiring and being replaced by a woman named Miss Sprout, whom all you must refer to as Professor Sprout from here on, thank you. Lily wondered whether her headmaster had hired her just so her name would be a pun in relation to her subject. Albus Dumbledore was a brilliant man, but sometimes Lily honestly wondered how much the old wizard was willing to take the obfuscating fake senility joke. Did the man really enjoy reading Muggle children's books so much? She could hardly believe her eyes when she gave him a Hans Christian Andersen and Dumbledore practically jumped with excitement. Wait, she was remembering this wrong, an old respectable and noble wizard like Dumbledore wouldn't jump. But the dancing in his eyes as she handed him the book had definitely caught her attention.
Leaning back on the bed, she realized that the idea of Dumbledore leaving Hogwarts seemed decidedly less likely than the whole castle turning purple. She knew that he had been at Hogwarts longer than any of the staff there and was likely to be there when most of the teachers she knew left. The man just seemed so...constant. And in dark times like these, she wanted all the constancy she could get.
Lily sat up and picked up the pieces of the flower, knowing that no magic that she knew would ever repair it. She had learned a lot about magic since that day Petunia stood angrily jealous while reading her green-inked letter, and one of the things that etched into her mind the most was the fact that magic would not bring back life. It wasn't as if she could not even try, Lily Evans was repulsed by the concept. Magic that tampered with life, magic that made things twisted different from what they ought to be, that was Dark Magic. She shivered thinking of all the chilling tales that Rosina Cockroachrotter, their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, had told them. Dark Magic was what wizards and witches did when their intents were full of malice and greed, when they wanted to cheat the natural order of things for self profit.
Her shiver became more pronounced when she thought of how her favourite teacher had met her end shortly before the school year had been over. The memory of those screams...that otherwordly voice...the dark purple tendrils coming out of the cursed box...
The entire DADA NEWT class had watched this scene unfold, everyone terrified and unable to do anything to help. It wasn't until several days later that Lily realized that herself, James and Severus had been present at the time. It eased her guilt somewhat to know that the three most prodigious students at Hogwarts had done their best to save the maimed witch; it meant that the situation had been hopeless from the start and nothing Lily could have done individually would have helped. The thought didn't completely erase her guilt or her teacher's last moments off her mind, but it helped Lily sleep better at night.
That incident more than anything so far in her life had strengthened Lily's resolve not to have anything to do with Dark Magic ever. And that resolve had been what drove a definitive wedge between her and Severus.
As she lay the torn pieces of flower next to her pillow, she worked over in her mind what she would tell him. This was her last night in Hogsmeade before she went to her parent's house. James had already gone off to his folks' the day they graduated. Students who didn't have a wizarding home to go to were allowed to stay in the inn until they found lodgings. For many Muggle-borns like her this would be their first full transition into the magical world. Unlike other Muggle-borns, however, Lily was perfectly welcome as a witch back to her parent's house, despite her sister's protests. And she even had her post-graduate career as an Auror ahead of her, with full recommendations of all her teachers and Dumbledore. So why was she staying at Hogsmeade?
I'm going to convince him not to. She absentmindedly crushed one of the petals in her hand, which immediately released a sweet scent that permeated her hand and the pillow.
I'll convince him that he's making a mistake. The entire time she had known Severus, she had been aware of how he saw the Dark Arts. Most of the time she had tolerated this. But now they were both officially adults and she felt this talk had been postponed too many times.