The Smoothest of Criminals

by KibaElunal

Master thief Thane Rye-hour has begun making a name for himself in the city of Piltover. His abilities have earned him dozens of clientele seeking to use his abilities to wreak havoc on those who have wronged them. However, after meeting three odd women, his life is forever changed and he finds himself being tugged back and forth across the line of the law. What side will he pick?

1. Chapter 1

The Smoothest of Criminals Ch. 1

Note to the Readers: Hey guys, I decided that I'd start up a new series as a side project now that I've hit the half-way point at Ch. 16 in A Boy and His Fox. This story takes place in the same universe months after Jinx has returned to Piltover. You do not need to read A Boy and His Fox to understand the plot of this story, but this is just an "FYI" sort of thing. It's my first time attempting to write a mystery/suspense story so please, please, please tell me how I'm doing. I really appreciate the feedback readers. I hope you enjoy –Kiba Elunal

Vi leaned back in her desk chair. It was hot in Piltover, Janna's forecast said it was going to be one of the hottest days in years. Her pink locks stuck to her forehead with sweat and hearing the door close she turned to her side to see Miss Cupcake herself waltzing in. "Good day Deputy Vi." She said in a formal accent, one that would bring to mind Great Britain in other worlds. Vi groaned in boredom as she tossed another pencil sticking it in the ceiling above them.

"I'm…so…bored…and hot!" Vi whined.

"It's a good thing when we have nothing to do Vi, it means we haven't had any trouble afoot." Caitlyn, Vi decided, was not helping. At all.

"We haven't had a case in five months cupcake…five! Where the hell are the low-lifes going? I want to find someone to punch in the face!" Caitlyn chuckled softly at her short-tempered partner and sat beside her at the desk. "I tell you what Vi. This morning I received a case handed down through burglary."

Vi opened up one eye. "Burglary? That sounds boring." Caitlyn smirked.

"Wait until you hear the description. A man dressed in leather fingerless gloves, a dark gray hood, black top and black denim slacks. Suspect has icy blue eyes and is able to invade a place without the breaking any windows, damaging any furniture, or harming any civilians. Despite this he has managed to not only escape time and time again, he's even been able to fight off a patrol. And get this…their pistols were clipped in their holsters when the backup arrived. Unconscious with minor injuries sustained only." Vi's gaze turned towards her as a smile crept on her face. She reached up grabbing her gauntlets and slipped them on her hands.

"You…cupcake…have just now piqued my interest. I'll take the case. You keep watch over the jail house." Caitlyn smiled handing her the manila folder containing the information, police sketches included as well as recent strings of burglaries.

"So what's this guy going by? Has he released a name? Or did the press label him?" Caitlyn nodded to her. "

They say he's going by 'Wolf's bane Thane' as he always seems to leave behind a flower of wolf's bane as his calling card." Vi laughed.

"I swear these criminal types get cheesier sounding nicknames with every day that passes." Vi smiled to Caitlyn as she opened the door. "Thanks again cupcake!" She called back as she stepped out into the fiery hot sun.

Caitlyn smiled as she watched her go, kicking her feet up on the desk as she leaned back. "I wonder if I should have told her that he's known for flirting his way out of trouble. No, I'm sure Vi will be fine, she's not the sort to be fooled by that."

The shrill whine of the building's alarm began to pulse in my head. It was one of those days it seemed. The hot weather wasn't helping anybody either. I covered my head with my mask, as I quickly snagged the briefcase that was filled with precious gems, freshly removed from the iron safe that they had resided in. I had to admit to myself, the woman sure knew how to be vindictive. What better way to screw over her cheating husband than to divorce him for everything he had then hire me to steal the rest. I could hear a pounding on the door that signaled that the beat cops must have heard the alarm, and knowing I didn't have much time I reached into my cloak, retrieving the purple flower and tossing it to the ground. Immediately I tore open the window, running full speed up the fire escape just as I heard the sound of wood splintering. It was safe to assume they'd just gotten into the room, which means they would be coming up the fire escape any moment now. I stood on the roof looking in every direction I could to find the best route out of this place just as the two rookies managed to come up the steps, guns drawn. As they took aim I immediately leapt into action, my eyes scanning the both of their stances.

Height, weight, center of gravity, arm span, leg span; all of these were incredibly important to know and judge. In my line of work, that meant you had to do it as fast as you could unless you wanted to be riddled with lead. I put my hands up and they began to advance slowly, forming a semicircle around me their guns trained; amateurs. I swear the Piltover police department greatly needed to update their strategies. One reached behind him pulling out the handcuffs and opening one end he stepped closer. There! He stepped within my range. I quickly dashed towards him, my leg slipping between his so that my left ankle hooked around his right one. My hand went upward in a claw like shape, causing the bottom of my palm to strike the barrel of the gun causing it to raise upwards as a loud crack filled the air. With his arm raised I saw my opening and with my other hand I formed it into a fist before striking in a right hook shot straight to his armpit.

An anatomy lesson: the largest location of nerves in your arm as you probably guessed, is in your underarms. Hit someone there hard enough and they'll lose their ability to move their arm for quite some time. The man looked terrified as his left arm fell useless to his side. This gave me time to react with a quick sweep of my foot. Using my leg as a fulcrum I immediately raised it upwards causing him to fall downwards onto his back. Another anatomy lesson: Landing on solid concrete upon your back…hurts like hell. I brought my leg down in an axe kick to his solar plexus that left him gasping for air.

That moment was when I heard the click of a hammer being pulled behind me. Uh oh, looks like the partner was ready for his turn. I spun quickly, my left hand twisting to catch his wrist. At the same time my right hand lashed out with another palm strike. Due to the man's terrible grip, the gun rotated easily in his hands, as I kicked out with my left heel, using his surprise to catch him off guard. I straightened my leg sending him stumbling backwards, my new gun trained between his eyes. I could see him visibly shaking, let this be a lesson to how it feels to have a lethal weapon shoved into your back. Pressing the release on the side of the handle the clip dropped into my waiting hand, which I tossed off the roof and over my shoulder before dismantling his pistol quickly, dropping the components on the roof.

I saw him reach towards his back pocket and I rolled my eyes. It seemed it was one of those days. With a quick flick of his wrist the night stick extended, electricity crackling at the end. Remind me to thank the idiot scientist who gave these buffoons a stun stick. I quickly dodged his first two lashes, managing to narrowly avoid them before he managed to connect with a desperate lunge. I gritted my teeth as the electricity pulsed through my body.

A little fact: the reason police officers have to experience getting tazed is because roughly 1.5% of Runeterra's population is unable to be incapacitated by the amount of electricity used in the stun baton. However, it still hurts like a fucking bitch. As much as I hated using such cheap shots I quickly gave him a straight punch to the groin causing him to double over dropping the stun baton. Kicking it aside to avoid him falling on it, I cocked back my fist striking out with a hay maker that would have him seeing stars as well as giving him a terrible headache when woke up. The immediate threat disposed I quickly leapt from the rooftop to one nearby, running quickly through this urban jungle I called my home.

I should probably introduce myself: my name is Thane. Surname: Rye-hour. I'm a thief by trade; hired by angry lovers, quarreling families, and on occasion competitive fraternities. One things for sure, you'll never go broke as a thief, and unlike other criminals, I have standards. I mean, what sort of a man would break into a man's house and take everything he had if he was a rather decent fellow who gave to the poor and paid his taxes on time like a good citizen? No that isn't my style, I'd much rather steal from those scumbags in the world. You know the type. The kind that curses at you in traffic or who don't care too greatly if they sneeze on the back of your head without begging your pardon. You know, assholes. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of light blue hair and turning to follow it I saw a young woman sitting on a brick wall with a strange jester like grin on her face. She waved to me politely and turning forward I noticed I was clearly running out of roof. Seeing a warehouse on the opposite side about a story down, I dove from the roof, crashing through the window onto the second floor of the abandoned building. I rolled to my feet and looking back I saw that I hadn't been followed. I gave a sigh of relief, making sure that the fragile items I had retrieved for my client hadn't shattered in transit, not that she would care. She only hired me to spite, and I quote, "that no good, two-timing, rat bastard son of a bitchy whore"; loving wife she was. The building began to shake and I frowned. Piltover wasn't well known for its earthquakes, which could only mean one thing…trouble. The metal and concrete wall in the bottom of the warehouse shattered inward and standing there wearing two massive robotic gloves was a woman in pink. Oddly enough, she looked a little similar to the blue haired woman. Extreme hair colors must just run in the family. Unfortunately her entrance managed to damage the infrastructure of the warehouse's elevated stories and leaping from the rail onto one of the building's many storage shelves it began to slowly tumble under my weight, like a slow-motion domino chain. I quickly turned, placing the arches of my boots against the corner of the rectangular thing, sliding down it quickly. The pink hair girl smirked as I landed a few feet in front of her.

"Finally, I get to have a little action around her. Well 'Wolf's Bane Thane', I hope you're ready for a world of hurt, because right now Vi stands for 'Ready to kick your ass!' Urrrrgh!" She rushed forward jets in her gauntlets driving her forward. I had to dodge that punch, one hit could mean lights out for me and so I quickly turned, forming my hands as if I were holding a ball of energy between them. Reaching forward with my left hand I managed to snag her wrist, tugging her forward as my heel lunged towards her, using an upward motion I struck her arm hard with the back of my fist. What should have made that arm numb instead just managed to piss her off as I ducked; just barely in time to avoid a lethal southpaw cross. So the woman was a boxer it would seem. Cute. She swung again this time stepping forward allowing me to land a low kick to her shin, causing her to stumble forward causing her fist to graze my cheek. I quickly leapt back, gently rubbing the side of my face where she had made contact, she had managed to scrape me up pretty good with that rough metal arm of hers. After managing to regain her balance she turned back, using her momentum to land a fierce right hook to uppercut on my chest. I felt myself get lifted off the ground before her other fist slammed into my back driving me downward into cement.

That…hurt. I looked up at her my eyes gazing deeply into her as she grabbed me by the collar, pulling back her right fist to knock me out cold. "Any last words criminal scum?"

"Actually yes, you are surprisingly beautiful. Did you know that? It's not often that you meet an attractive woman who's also good at fighting. Like a rose where even the thorns add to its beauty." Her cheeks turned as pink as her hair before an angry smirk came to her lips.

"Flattery will get you nowhere." She growled as she went to throw the final punch. Just then a large crack could be heard and looking up a large piece of the concrete roof was falling down on top of the both of us.

"Look out!" I cried, and before she could react I tackled her causing us both to narrowly avoid being crushed to death under the weight of that sledge. As we fell her head hit against one of the metal racks, knocking her out cold. I gave a sigh as the building continued to rumble, and running towards the door I stopped and looked back. I couldn't leave her like this. I ran back and lifted her in my arms running as fast as I could. No sooner had I left the warehouse did the thing collapse on itself. Looking up I saw the blue haired woman again sitting on the roof of another building smiling down at me with a large shark shaped rocket launcher slung over her should. She giggled softly. "Oh boy, you're going to pay for that mistake."

"What? What was a mistake?" The woman leapt down from the roof, sliding down a rain pipe and landing in the alley way.

"You rescued her, which means she has something to prove now. She's never going to stop chasing you until she proves to herself that her needing to be rescued was just a fluke. To put it simply: you done goofed." I blinked my icy eyes staring into her red ones harshly.

"What would you have had me do? Let her die in there?" The woman gave a playful giggle, the tone of her voice oddly eerie as she came closer to me a jester like grin on her face.

"Well that was certainly one option, after all we are criminals…you and I." I watched as she paced around me, her eyes scanning me up and down. "Don't get me wrong new guy, I've played hero myself before. But if there is one thing I know it's this: you don't ever escape this life. Not you, not me, nobody."

"Well…let's agree to disagree then. And I'm not a new guy. If anything you're the new one, misses…?"

"Miss. You can call me Jinx. And actually I've been here for a very, very long time. I've just been out of town since you came in months ago. Let's get one thing straight newbie." She came up to me, her nose just an inch from mine. I didn't flinch, the worst thing you could do with another criminal is show fear. They're worse than dogs.

"This town…it's my playground. I don't mind if you play on it, but let's get something straight here. I am in charge of this playground. I am the one who owns this playground. And if anyone, and I mean anyone, is going to give the police a run for the money, it's going to be me not you." She smirked stepping back and crossing her arms over her chest.

I looked around feigning consideration over her words and having a pretend inaudible argument with myself before looking back to her. "Hey just thought it over, and no. No I don't really care at all. Sorry. Hate to break it to you sweet cheeks, but you're just going to have to deal with the fact that there's a new criminal mastermind in town. That one is me. To use your playground analogy. It may be your playground, but I'm going to play on it anyway. And one last thing: I was that kid who pushed other kids off the playground when they made me angry. Just a heads up." I turned around and began walking out of the alley when suddenly a rocket flew past me hitting the building across the street and punching a hole in the wall.

"You've got to be kidding me…" I sighed before turning back around to find that the girl was gone. "I swear this town gains more wack jobs every day." I muttered to myself as I set the pink haired woman…'Vi' she had called herself… down on the ground. I quickly removed my hood and mask after checking to make sure no one could see me. I tucked them into the pouch on the side of my belt before I carried the woman to the sheriff's station.

I knocked softly on the door before it was pulled open by the sheriff herself. My eyes went up from her feet to the very high miniskirt she wore, her ivory legs seemingly to go all the way up as my eyes slowly came to meet hers. She cleared her throat causing me to blush, seeing as how she had caught me staring. "Hey…I umm…was walking down the street and I heard a large crash in the warehouse. When I went to see what happened the door was open, and I found her lying unconscious. This is your deputy isn't it?" Caitlyn looked down to see Vi unconscious in my arms and quickly she opened the door pulling us both in. We cleared a spot on her desk and Caitlyn went to soak a cold rag in ice water. She gently placed it on Vi's forehead and in a few moments her purple eyes fluttered open and she sat up quickly gasping before Caitlyn and I pushed her back down.

"Easy Vi, you're safe now. This man here rescued you." Vi turned towards me looking into my eyes. I swallowed, hoping she wouldn't recognize me without my mask. As it turns out, she didn't.

"I guess this means I owe you a debt of gratitude…" she muttered before laying her head back down on the desk with a groan. I could tell she wasn't the kind to enjoy being under someone's thumb. "Don't let your mind run away too far homeboy." She said looking at me. "I'll decide how I'll repay you, and when I do you'll take it and you'll like it, capice?"

I covered my mouth to stifle a chuckle at her tough girl act. I had to admit it was really cute just how much she was struggling with showing me simple gratitude. I cleared my throat smiling softly. "Hey, don't worry about it. I'm sure that anyone would have pulled you out of that building." Vi just glared at me before shaking her head.

"No…not anybody. That thief bastard booked it when he got off a cheap shot. There used to be honor among thieves, and now look what crime has become." She groaned as she felt the icy water dripping down the side of her head.

Caitlyn sat next to Vi. "Vi, love. I want you to tell me what happened. Maybe we'll be able to pick up the trail of this criminal and put him behind bars where he belongs." Vi sighed softly and looked up to Caitlyn.

"Alright cupcake. Basically I was out patrolling a city block. I had looked at the places hit and I began to notice a pattern. The thief only stole from people who had recently been divorced, separated, or in some kind of feud. So I looked at the records and I found that the only person who fit that description within the criminal's operating area was Mr. Bleaksilver's estate. Sure enough when I got there the alarm was going off. I saw two black and whites run after him and when they got on the roof…I don't know how to explain it Cait. He was amazing, he managed to take out both of them without getting shot. He managed to get electrocuted but he was able to just stand back up and keep swinging. He left the two unconscious on the roof and started jumping through sky lines. I managed to see him dive into the second floor of the warehouse and so I…ummm…I kind of made my own entrance."

Caitlyn let out an exasperated sigh. "Vi! I've told you that that's incredibly dangerous. It's no damned wonder the building came down on top of your head, you messed up its infrastructure."

Vi smiled sheepishly, embarrassed to be scolded by her boss in front of a civilian. "Yeah well…the guy managed to slide down to the first floor on one of the big metal shelves and we got into a game of fisticuffs." She winced as the pain in her shin arced and immediately I rolled up her pants leg. Taking the ice from her head and placing it on her leg I softly massaged her calf separating her nerve clusters to that the pain would be more spread out, instead of intensified at one location. A large area with very little pain was better than a small area with a huge amount of pain.

"Yeah. But how did you…never mind it's not important. So this guy cupcake, we start going at it. And he's good, I mean he's really good. He managed to dodge most of my punches like I was some highschool thug rather than an expert fighter. But I finally managed to land a solid one on his chest and I brought him to his knees."

"Well…if you beat him…how did he escape?" Caitlyn asked.

Vi frowned as her cheeks got red. "Well…he may have…distracted me. I let down my guard for an instant then he rushed me. I hit the rack and the next thing I know, I'm right here talking to you two."

Caitlyn rested her forehead in her palm. "You got distracted by his flirting didn't you?"

"No!" Vi quickly answered before pausing. "Maybe…but I promise Cait, I'll get this son of a bitch next time. I know you've been busy with the League lately but I can still track him down."

"Oh no. Oh no you don't Vi. It's too dangerous. Not without backup you can't."

"But Cait-"

"No excuses Vi. Today had it not been for this man you could have lost your life instead of just your consciousness. Had the building not been collapsing around you there's no telling what that criminal may have done to you. You should count yourself lucky Vi. But until further notice, you're suspended until you can find yourself a partner with whom you're willing to work." Vi rolled her eyes before jerking her thumb at me.

"Fine. I pick this guy."

Wait…what?

"Vi I don't think that's…"

"You said so yourself Cait, no excuses. This guy pulled me out of the heat today and that proves he's at least able to watch my back. The fact he ran into a crumbling building and pulled me out just proves that he's got what it takes."

"But Vi, we don't even know what he does for a living!"

"Does it matter Cupcake? I mean look at me, I was a thief for the longest time until you made me your deputy, that's gotta be evidence that just about anyone can be a cop. Hey kid what's your name?"

"Th- I mean…Raine. My name is Raine." Vi smiled and offered me one of her mechanical hands to shake. I took it and shook it gently before she sighed softly laying back down.

"Well then Raine…welcome to the Piltover Sherriff's department. I hope you're able to handle yourself in a fight, 'cause you'll need it to defend yourself against these low-lifes." This was a bad idea. A really bad idea. I couldn't be a cop, hell every second I spent standing here with them was another second that I could get caught, and then I'd be sent to prison. But…I couldn't turn them down either. That'd seem pretty suspicious that I ran in, was able to recognize who Vi was, carry her half way across town to bring her back to the Sheriff's office, then just turn around and leave as soon as I could.

"I…ummm…know a thing or two I suppose." I said scratching my head nervously. Caitlyn smiled as she opened one of the desk drawers with a sigh before handing me a badge and a gun. I slowly picked up the gun like I was holding something rotten. I noticed the puzzled expressions of the two before I cleared my throat and tucked it back into its holster. "Sorry…I'm not big on guns." Vi looked at Caitlyn before leaning back.

"See? A scrapper just like me. He's the perfect partner. Welcome to the force Raine." I thought about it for a moment. Considering what Jinx had said, this was an opportunity. I could easily use this as a cover to sweep up competition by day, then by night I'd be out doing my work as normal. I gently took the badge and clipped it to my belt loop.

"Ah, what the heck? I'll join you guys. It'll be nice to help clean up the scum of this town. Just…don't expect me to shoot a lot of people okay?" I gently bit my lip as Vi smirked at me.

"Easy buddy, you'll be fine. For now, why don't you keep massaging that leg of mine and then tomorrow we'll put you through the academy." Caitlyn shook her head and went into her office to go fill out the paperwork. I continued massaging Vi's leg more as she removed her gauntlets using her hands as a pillow. "Oh yeah, that feels awesome. I'm gonna really enjoy having you as a partner Raine. You'd better not trip me up alright?" She gave a friendly wink to indicate she was joking and giving a soft sigh she closed her eyes, resting on her desk.

Jinx smirked as she watched through her binoculars at the man inside of the police station. What an idiot! She couldn't believe he had just been drafted like that. The time would come when his secret was exposed, and when that time came he'd need someone to bail him out. Jinx sighed as she rested her chin in her hands, thinking back to the adventure she had shared with prettyboy and fox girl. She had told them she'd heard about this guy and that she'd possibly try her hand at a romance. Though to be honest, this thief was waaay too soft. I mean, he ran back in to save Vi of all people.

"Things sure are getting interesting aren't they Fishbone?" She used her hand to make her rocket launcher talk like a puppet. "I don't know, I kind of feel bad for that guy. I mean he seemed rather nice to help take care of Vi like that."

"Ugh…Fishbone, you're such a kill joy!" Jinx sighed. Perhaps if she wasn't so aggressive with everyone she met she wouldn't have to have a rocket launcher puppet as her only friend. She would continue to keep an eye on this new blood in town. Then maybe she'd be able to open up a bit more.

That night I returned home with an exasperated sigh. Three hours…that insane woman had me massaging her calf for three hours. Not even calves, just the one. When I came in I quickly put on my costume, tugging my mask over my eyes snuggly. I opened the shutters, the full moon shining down on my balcony as I climbed up on the rail. I leapt from it to the roof across from the alley, and I was off into the night, my black cloak fluttering behind me. It wasn't until later that I managed to arrive at my client's house. Opening the windows I went inside, dropping the loot in the secret compartment she'd asked me to. I heard something clatter on the ground floor, and figuring that if she were up she'd have my payment I quietly slipped down the stairs. There hovering over her body was a hunched figure, using its bare hands to rip out chunks of her flesh and eating it raw. I felt sick to my stomach when I finally watched him rip out her heart and take a large bite from it. It stopped eating for a moment, sniffing the air. It turned towards me and seeing me it quickly ran vanishing without a trace. I walked over to inspect the scene, finding tracks that were like large feet. I frowned and examining it closer I found that there was an awful stench in the air, like the rotting of a body. It couldn't have been Mrs. Bleaksilver, she hadn't been dead far near long enough to produce a stench this strong.

Whatever this creature was, it had just robbed me of a hefty pay day. And for that I would make sure that I'd track it down. And when I did I'd make sure I killed it, and anything else like it that was alive in this city. Careful not to disturb the crime scene I removed the goods, the client wouldn't be needing them anymore. I could hawk them at a nearby pawn shop, but not for nearly as much as she would have paid me otherwise. After going throughout the city, exchanging the goods with various hands, I finally managed to get back into my home. Pulling off the hood, I removed my mask and hid it in a shoe box under my bed. Just as my head was about to hit the pillow, my phone began to ring on my nightstand. I groaned and taking a deep breath I rolled over lifting the handle from its cradle.

"Hello?" There wasn't any response.

"Umm…Rayne. I know it's rather early…and we promised we'd bring you through the academy first but I fear this can't wait. A woman was murdered…her heart was ripped out and there are strange tracks leaving the house."

"Vi?"

"Nothing slips past you does it Gumshoe?" I let out a sigh.

"Alright…what time do I need to be there?"

"It's on 1403 Squarepeg. And I need you here five minutes ago." I sighed and rolling back out of my bed I began to dress in something more formal. I could already tell this double life was going to be a real pain in the ass. Let's hope that this is worth the effort.

To be continued…