warning, the contents of this story maybe too grapic and scary for children under the age of ...well i dont know! but this fic is scary, read at your own risk!
It was a seemingly quiet and normal day at the house of Shigure Sohma...entill you took a closer look. "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT" Shigure danced around his room, swinging the tie that held his Kimono together as he got dressed this morning. Kyou rolled over in bed "THAT GOD -BEEPING- DOG...hey wait..i cant -Beeping-swear...what the -beep- is this???????" Kyou sat up in his bed twiching, he couldn't even call yuki a...well ya you know what rat if he couldn't swear god -beep- it.
Meanwhile, Akito found himself rudely interrupted by the sounds of Baha Men. For only a moment ago he was shaking his groove-thing to "Like A Virgin" (clad in Cardcaptor Sakura boxers, wouldn't you know it) and now he was thrown off-rhythm and was forced to use his non-exsistant Super Saiyan powers to destroy the Sohma house, until realizing that the Sohma house was still very much intact and that he couldn't blast through a paper bag if he tried. "Motherf-beeper-." When randomly Ritsu popped out of compleately nowhere "I'M SO SORRY, IT'S ALL MY FAULT YOU DON'T HAVE POWERS TO DESTORY SOHMA HOUSE, IT'S ALL MY FAULT FOR EVERYTHING I THINK I SHOULD JUST GO JUMP OF A CLIFF AND DIE!" Akito twiched, and he twiched and he twiched some more for was he not thrown off rhythm by Shigures baha men song, now Ritsu was applogiseing "shut up!" he took a vase from his endless bag of vases and threw it at ritsu "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!" he laughed manicly knowing that was the worst thing he could say to the young blue monkey!
Meanwhile Yuki woke up as always...as a ZOMBIE! But was soon to be awakened by ENDLESS BEEPING! "GOD -BEEPING- DAY! I CANT -BEEPING- SWEAR, NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALL YUKI A -BEEP- RAT? I HATE MY -BEEPING- LIFE" Yuki rubbed his eyes. "what the -beep- is your problem this morning kyou?" Kyou turned to Yuki "AH HA! You cant swear either can ya rat boy?" Yuki shook his head and walked towards the kitchen for breakfest he opened the fridge and a fangirl popped out "YUKI, your so sexy and dreamy and I want you to do me, I love you so much" Yuki reached past the fangirl, to the milk and closed the fridge in her face.
Yuki then opened an overhead cupboard and out fell a bunny -- a rather hyperactive bunny -- who quickly scurried off into the other room and began bouncing off the walls. "Akito, what have I told you about leaving Momiji and the sugar bowl unsupervised?" Yuki groaned. A few seconds later, a scream erupted from the other room and in ran Kyou with Momiji wrapped around his head, blocking his eyesight. Yuki was about to laugh wildly but was actually pretty concerned for Momiji's wellbeing when Kyou tripped on the empty sugar bowl and went flying towards a bunch of sharp knives. (Dun dun dun!) When suddenly Momiji transformed back into a real boy and the puff of smoke magicly discingrated all of the knifes but now kyou had a new problem he had a naked 15 year old little boy wrapped around him. "Put some -beeping- cloths on!" Kyou pryed Momiji off of him "Why?" Momiji asked still hyper and bounceing up and down. "Cause being naked in the kitchen is indecent!" kyou twiched, but we all know kyou is in the closet and was getting turned on by Momiji's nakedness....well no not really, he'd rather screw Yuki but that's supposed to be a secret so forget I said anything. Akito waltzed into the kitchen swaying his hipps to himself humming 'I'm too sexy' still clad in nothing but his CCS boxers. Kyou turned beat red since Akito looks like Yuki except for hair and eye color this was forceing Kyou to image Yuki in his boxers and that was turning him on. "Oy! Pretty Akitty...put some cloths on would ya!" Akito twiched at being called 'pretty akitty'.
"What's for breakfast, huh? Huh? Huh?" Momiji bounced up and down next to Yuki, which was a bit disturbing because he was still naked. Yuki covered his eyes and slowly inched away from Momiji. "Huh? Huh? Huh? Oh boy, I hope it's sugar." Momiji continued. Yuki reached for a kitchen towel to throw at Momiji (and at least hope that he'd find it fashionable and cover himself with it) but instead pulled the oven door open. A fangirl popped out covered in burnt grease. "Yuki! My love! You know I love you! Yuki!!"
"I'm too sexy..." "You -beeping- rat." "Sugar sugar sugar!" "Yuki! I love you!" "I'm so sexy..." "-Beep- it." "Sugar sugar sugar!"
It all seemed too much for Yuki. "Everything's getting so crazy! How could it possibly get any worse?!"
Suddenly, Hana randomly crashed through the ceiling, landing face-down on the floor. Yuki rolled his eyes. "Me and my big mouth." he groaned. Hana immediately stood up and glared at the oven. "The dark one!" Hana gasped, pointing at the greasy fangirl, who was still rambling about how much she loves Yuki. Akito ran outside "COME TO ME MY BIRD MINIONS!" millions of bird flew towards Akito and covered his head and arms. Hana walked slowly towards the greesey fangirl her eyes glowing in that freaky way that makes me think that the person who wrote this had watched far too many horror films before doing the animation. "you must die...I sha'll –beep- you with electric shocks" and Hana's random beep had nothing to do with the fact that today they couldn't swear...she beeped all of the time. Akito let his birds loose into the house at this moment when Hana was using her power causeing all of the birds to turn to chicken and fry! So now Shigures kitchen was full of fried Chicken!
Just then, Akito ran in.Gasping in horror as her pointed to the fried chicken (lets just call them dinner ) and gasped."OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED FREDERICK! YOU Beep!...And lucy! and darla! and moonie! and flower!.and gorge....".-The hours later."..and..uh..The one!.You killed all my preciouse little birdies they were so cute!.I'LL GET YOU BACK GIRLIE! YOU AND YOUR LITTLE ENTENA TO!!.".Akito ran around the kitchen giggleing like a little schoolgirl. "NOW! My undead Chickens! FLY!!!!" Akito cackled and the wicked withces music played ominously in the background. He stopped crackling when he noticed the birds wernt going anywhere "-BEEP- IT!" He broke down into sobs.
Suddenly in the background came a song, a very strange song 'YEAH YEAH! DUDE LOOKS LIKEA LADY, YEAH YEAH, DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY' Yuki paled, he knew what this music ment for at that very moment a silver haired idiot praced into the room. Aya has decinded "HELLO EVERYONE!" he looked around the kitchen "oh my look at this, you already cooked me dinner" he picked up one of Fredricks legs and started eatting. ".OH GOD!! GLADICE!!!.".Akito cried, snatching the chicken leg away from Aya."..You were always my favorite!.".Aya grabbed the leg back, popping thew whole thing into his mouth.".Now now, don't cry over spilled mil - ".He suddenly fell to the floor, rolling around.".AHHH!!!! GLAAAARRGGK!.."..".I Think he's chokeing! WHEE!! GO HELP HIM!!.".Momiji cried, alittle to happily."..I think not!."..Yuki replied in the same tone, though sarcastic.They all feated on Akito's little rosted friends and watched Aya worm around on the floor."..IF ONLY MY DRESSES COULD SAVE ME , MY CREATIONS!!!."..Suddenly, a bunch of dresses came in through the window. Yuki blinked "now I've seen everything..." or so he thought till Haru came in dressed full in a cow suit with a milk carton "FREE MILK FOR EVERYONE!" he sprayed it all over the kitchen, wilting Aya's dresses to the floor. At long last since Aya is the snake the chokeing fit passes since his kind useally eats rats alive, ....i always thought it was strange they were brothers. He sits up and looks at his witered dresses "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW I HAVE TO CLEAN THEM!" he bends down and picks one up in his arms "alas poor youric...I knew him well..." Just then, Hiro bursted in.Wearing nothing but white undies and a red cape."..I AM INSULT MAN!! AND I AM HERE TO SAY YOU ALL LOOK UGLY AND NEED PLASTIC SUGERY!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!.."..Just then, he started danceing around to the ' space jam ' theme."..WOOP EHHH! WOOP EEEH!! YOUR HAIR IS GREASY!!.".The last thing he sang as he passed the fangirl in the oven, doing the moonwalk backwords. Shigure came into the kitchen and gasped seeing Hiro do the moonwalk "LIKE OMG! HIRO IS GOING TO BE ACCUSED OF BEING A CHILD MOLESTER WHEN HE GROWS UP!" Kyou looks at Shigure "...please don't beeping tell me you just said "like omg" like a school girl..." Shigure chucked like ....well...that crazy guy in that assylum over there "why like yea, I did!!!" Aya and Gure spot each other and sojo bubbles fly though the air as they jump up and fly all cruching tiger, hiden dragon style towards each other and hug "GURE", "Aya", "MY LOVE!" they both exclaimed at the same time. "I DON'T APPROVE OF THIS UNION!" Akito scream like a little 3 year old and then started to whine "shiggys mine! Mine, mine, mine, mine" he kicks his legs throwing a hissy fit. Yuki sweatdrops "I think Hatori forgot to change Akito's diper today..." Hatori popped in, a look of shock on his face."..I DID.?!.BUT I THOUGH I DID IT THIS MORNING!?.".Momoiji came up from behind Hatori, poking him in the stomache and causeing him to laugh like the pilsberry dough boy.Everyone stared at hi and crickets were heard chirping.Momiji and Hiro walzed actoss the floor, and everyone's eyes followed them.'Squish Squish Squish.'."..I AM INSULT MAN! AND I SAY!!..Momiji..YOUR A HORRIBLE DANCER!."..".Ecpecially in the nude! -!.".Momiji chimed, running off into another room.A bang could be heard and then Ritsu came out scremaing."..OH MY GOD!! IVE STOLEN MOMIJI'S CLOTHES AND NOW HE'S RUNNING AROUND LIKE A MANIUAC DOIING GOD KNOWS WHAT TO PEOPLE!!.."..He sniffed the air, waveing it infrotn of him."..Eww..Ha'ri..did you forget to change Akiot's daiper..?."..Hatori picked Akito up, slung him over his should and ran itno the other room.Moments later a dirty, adult daiper was thrown in the kitchen."..OH THE HORROR!!.GURE! HOLD ME!.".Aya cried, clutching onto Shigure.
Next chapter
Cabbage, tutu's and boars
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0.0 ok..i know, i infriged on alot of peoples characters...i'm sorry 0.0 please dont flame me...flames make me wanna cry 0.0 and you dont want me to cry do ya? big eyes