If Carlos is not home by episode 70 I will track down Fink and Cranor and throttle them both.
Disclaimer: Although WTNV is weird enough to be a product of my warped mind, it is not actually mine. If it was, Carlos would be home, and I know exactly this could happen (so really it's a pity it's not mine because apparently Fink and Cranor have no idea) So there's that.
This is a story about you.
Once, you crossed over from the familiar to the unfamiliar in the name of science and reason.
It was the most scientifically interesting community you'd ever come across. You did not understand what you found, and you didn't know if you liked it.
The most mundane things to you were alien there, and all those inexplicable things you didn't recognise were understood, accepted. You were accepted, and that was something you didn't recognise.
You were accepted, and that was enough to make you think that maybe you could learn to accept this new world.
Slowly, you began to re-learn the rules about life. You retaught yourself about time and space, about what the stars are, about the laws of physics so often flouted there. You learnt other things, too, impossible things that suddenly seemed possible.
And you learnt how to love, and be loved in return.
For a while, you were happy in your impossible life with the man on the radio. For a while, you forgot that your purpose had been to study this community, not to become a part of it. You still carried out tests -how could you not? Science was in your blood!- but no longer submitted your findings. What would be the point? Science no longer worked.
Then you crossed over from the familiar to the unfamiliar in the name of science and reason.
It was the most scientifically interesting community you'd ever come across.
You were far from the people who loved you, who missed you, and you promised you'd find a way back.
You didn't mean to, but you broke that promise every day. You'd set out to find the door that would take you home, and you'd discover some new anomaly, and before you knew it the sun had set.
Tomorrow. Always tomorrow.
You began to wonder if you even wanted to leave.
And now, the weather.
[The Scientist - Coldplay]