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Burst

by KAOA of Z-4R

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The cool wind, the warmth I have been longing, the sensation I yearn for, the long awaited freedom: all in the same moment. Are all these real? Are all these for good?

I feel like I am flying. How can I? Then, I felt his breath, his warm breath that always makes my knees weak. I felt his strong arms wrapped around me, his strong arms that makes me feel that I am safe no matter what. I heard a familiar hum- the hum of his wings, this hum that I await every night. I really love this man. I really love Daniel Grigori. I really love my angel.

I turned to him, careful not to fall, my arms around his neck. Even in the darkness, I can see his angelic face smiling at me. I was about to say something but before I can do so, I felt his lips on mine.

I kissed him so badly; I do not want to let go. I love him carrying me not even thinking that people might see us flying in the evening sky. If only time would stop. If only this moment would last forever. If only this love is right.

The wind is still ringing in my ears. I was shivering. I bet he felt it because he tightened his embrace. I did not protest because it felt so warm. He backed away and I realized my feet were already on the ground. We landed somewhere far from the city. This place is simply stunning. It looks like an open field but I can see flowers in their full bloom under the bright moonlight. To my left, the city lights made the view more breathtaking.

"Daniel, where have you taken me?" I asked him while touching the tip of his wings. "This place... is my Paradise. I promised myself that I would take you here if I had the chance," he answered. "It's beautiful. Thank you." I replied.

I turned around and my eyes fell upon a glass greenhouse. It was beautiful. I ran into it and felt the glass door knob. It was not locked. I turned it. When I had entered, I was too astonished to speak. Every corner of this greenhouse was full of my favourite flower- Violet.

The room was filled with its scent. I touched them with the tip of my fingers. "Daniel, these are pretty. Where did you find all these?" I asked him but because of the moonlight, I can see that he has a doleful look in his face.

"Luce," I love how he speaks my name. However, something was in his voice that I never wanted to hear coming from him: pain. Why is he in pain? What is going on?

"What is it, Daniel?" I asked him in an assuring way. He was not looking at me. Instead, he was staring at the ground. I reached for his face. He was shaking. Tears are falling down his face. "Daniel. Look at me. Tell me what is wrong and we'll figure it out."

I know that if there is something wrong, there really is no way to figure things out, but I— we have to try.

"Luce, I'm really sorry," he apologized. He grabbed my waist and hugged me tight. I can barely breathe. He was crying so badly.

Why is he sorry? Is he about to do something?

I thought of so many possible things that he might do. Then one thought struck me: he is leaving me… again. However, this time, he is not going to be away for a month or two. He is going to be away forever.

A tear fell down, then another one, and another one, until I found myself on the ground with Daniel still hugging me. I do not know what to say. I cannot find my voice. My chest hurts. I was dumbfounded.

Why is he leaving me? Is it necessary? After all these years that we have loved each other so much, why does he have to?

"Daniel. Do you really have to do this? I know you don't. Stay here with me. Please, Daniel! Please!"

He let go of me and rose. I must do something. I can't let go of him this easily! I caught his shirt.

"Daniel! Please! I'm begging you! Daniel…"

I managed to stand up and held his hands. His hands were cold and sweaty. He turned to me. I can see his tear-stained face. He looked at me with those purple eyes of his. Those have always been my weakness, but now it seems like it is my strength to hold on to him. I always want to see those eyes. I also want those eyes to see no one else but me, only me.

"I can't, Luce. I have to go."

With those words, everything began to fall apart— our memories together, the good times we've had, the love we shared. Now, only one feeling filled my heart— the feeling of being alone. I only felt it for a short while, but this time it is going to be forever, forever without him… forever without my Daniel… forever without my angel.

"No," I want to say it over and over again. "N-no. Please! No! NO! I don't care if someone would hear me! I don't care if I look like a fool chasing after someone who wants to be away from me! I don't care! I want you, Daniel. I want you!"

Tears are now flowing like a river down my face. More tears are falling down, more and more. He did not even look at me. He was staring blankly ahead. He waited until I stopped my desperate cries.

"Luce, I'm really, really sorry. You know how much it hurts for me, too, but Luce," he held my face, "this is the only way. This is the best way. I don't want either of us to get more hurt. If I leave, if we go on our separate ways, we'll be fine for sure."

Even if he did not show it, there was doubt in his voice. "We can't really be together. I thought of this for a very long time. Now, I understand it."

I really cannot understand him right now. One moment he will do whatever it takes for the two of us to be together, but now he says we can't be together.

I could have loved any other man, but a mortal like me fell in love with an immortal like him. I know it is not the right thing to do but I love him and I would do anything for this love to go on. However, he is the one who let go. He let go first. He doesn't want this anymore.

My mind wants to explode. I put my head on my hands. I want to think. I want to think about my decision. Can I do it? He says it is for our own good. I can bear with the pain on my own. I don't want him to suffer anymore. Is this right? I really am feeling hopeless right now.

He didn't wait for me to say what I want to say. He unfurled his wings, got out of the greenhouse, and flew across the star-studded sky.

"Daniel," I sobbed once more.

"Can anybody hear me? Bring Daniel Grigori back to me!" I was screaming so hard, my vocal chords are about to be ripped out. "He didn't even say good bye. He didn't even hear me out."

I'm all alone now. My world now dark, my life now shattered. I want to die. I can't take it anymore.

"Daniel. Daniel. Daniel," I kept calling his name because I'm all out of words to say. I was still hoping that he would return.

I felt pain on my back but I didn't care. The pain in my heart is much worse.

When, I opened my eyes, I can't see a thing. The light is blinding. I felt something heavy on my back. I turned to look at my reflection and was stunned at the sight of my wings.

My heart was beating faster than ever before. Memories surged through my mind. Things were in their rightful places like puzzle pieces. I was with Daniel a very long time ago. I was with him not only in this lifetime. I was with him in heaven—our home, our birthplace. I was like him. I am now, once again, like him. I will be forever like him. I am an angel like Daniel. Both of us are not ordinary. We are different from the others. We are one of the fallen.

My wings wanted to fly. We were thinking the same thing: fly to Daniel. I didn't wait any longer. I unfolded them and soared through the now cloudy sky. At this rate, I can still catch up with Daniel. Excitement rushed through my body. My clothes are now wet. I ignored it. I can't think of anything at this moment. Only one name filled my mind: Daniel.

I saw something moved to my right. It is a silhouette of a man with wings. The clouds moved and revealed Daniel. He stopped right in front of me.

"Luce. Y-you… you changed already?" he asked.

I didn't waste time. I flew to him and kissed his lips. Now I know we really can't be together. We can't let history repeat itself and continue to break our hearts. This, I think, would be the last kiss I am going to give him. I now agree with Daniel— this is the best way.

I backed away and said "Daniel, thank you… for everything. Thank you for letting me feel the love I have never felt before. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for fighting for our love even though it hurts you. Thank so much."

I can't believe that I said those words. I have never thought of letting him go like this. I stopped myself from crying. I want him—the both of us—to be happy.

He nodded. "Thank you too, Luce. I love you… for the last time." He kissed me once more.

This time our wings covered the both of us. Bright light scattered through the now clear evening sky.

This light scattered hope: a hope for the broken hearts, a hope for the lonely hearts. The love we shared will never be forgotten. Our memory would remain in each hearts— how two angels fell in love and brought light in the darkness of life.