The Price of Love
'You say you want to be free of me, but I know that's not true.' A Ben/Annie fic.
I hope you enjoy this little ficlet, I'm not too sure about it, but the idea wouldn't leave me alone. Anyway, this is my guess at what may have happened between Ben and Annie the night before the Purge. Please read and review!
And if judgement
day started tonight
At least I'd know I was right
And I'd be
laughing at the end of the world
But take my hand tonight I think
we'll be alright
- 'A Place to Hide' by The White Lies.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
The sharp sound disrupted Annie from her reverie, staring through the blinds out across the village as the rain lashed down, she wondered who on earth had dared to venture out of their home on such an evening. Opening the front door she discovered Ben, drenched from head to foot even though his house couldn't be anymore than a hundred meters from her own, and she let him in without saying a word.
'Let me fetch you a towel!' She said as the awkward silence grew, neither one knowing what to say to the other.
When she returned he had taken up her vigil by the window, his intense eyes focused on some distant point in the valley, and she could tell that his mind was elsewhere.
'Thank you,' he said absent-mindedly, taking the towel and ruffling his hair with it.
'You are crazy to be out in this weather!' She really didn't know what else to say. Only a week earlier they had been more than just friends, but all that had changed when she had discovered his secret: he had been meeting with the Hostiles, not only that, but he claimed that he was one of them.
'Annie, I want to speak to you… I want to explain…' His voice was pleading, but she didn't know what to think or what to feel, she didn't want him anywhere near her.
'I don't think you can have anything more to say,' she retorted angrily, 'You betrayed me, Benjamin, you betrayed everyone here.'
'Then why haven't you told anyone?'
Because she could barely believe it herself. Because every time she thought about it she wanted to cry. Because the last two years had been a lie. Because telling it to someone else would make it real and she didn't think she could handle that.
'I don't know…' she replied, trying to avoid looking into his eyes. It was his eyes that had made her first fall in love with him, when she looked into them she thought she had seen such openness that was reserved only for her, but now she knew that that wasn't true. She didn't know him at all.
'Because you still love me, I know you do Annie,' he said carefully.
'I'm hardly going to stop loving you after only a week apart,' she said bitterly.
He ignored her comment, as if she hadn't spoken at all, and pulled her down next to him on the couch.
'I need to tell you something.' Finally he managed to catch her in his gaze, and she found she couldn't look away. 'Years ago, do you remember when I was taken by the Hostiles?' She nodded dumbly. 'They heeled me when no one else could, showed me the secrets of this Island - more than even Horace could ever dream of knowing – and told me that I was one of them. I felt reborn. I returned here because I knew that if I waited patiently then my day would come. And tomorrow… is that day.'
Fear started to gnaw at the pit of Annie's stomach; she tried to push the feeling away, but it wouldn't disappear, and grew with every word that he spoke.
'I had hoped that you would be by my side,' he sighed, 'but I had not counted on you reacting the way you did last week.'
'How could I react any other way?' she spluttered, 'For years we have been fighting against those – those people! Our enemies! And then you tell me that you're really working for them, what else did you expect?'
'I expected you to remember that I always know what I'm doing! I'm always on the side that wins! I expected that you would support me… obviously I was wrong.'
'That's because it feels like I don't even know you anymore, I thought we shared everything, that we had a future together.'
Ben took her hand in his and she resisted the urge to yank it away from him, but she felt herself giving in to his touch.
'We do have a future together. We still do.'
'With the Hostiles?' She almost couldn't believe what she was hearing; he didn't really think that she would betray everyone in the Dharma Initiative, did he?
'Yes,' he said simply. 'I can keep you safe, Annie, we can start a new life together. I'm offering you this, and all you have to do is take it.'
'At what price though, Benjamin?'
'Nothing I'm not willing to sacrifice.'
She looked into his face and it almost seemed as though she had never seen it properly until that moment, as if before it had been covered with a mask, and now the horror underneath was revealed. It was the same Ben, she knew that, the same Ben who she had made love to, had laughed until she cried with, but there was another side to him that she hadn't known. She recoiled, and tried to pull her hand away but he held it firm.
'No,' she said slowly, trying to gather her strength, 'no, I don't want anything to do with you anymore; I want you to get out of my house.'
'Annie, please don't do this,' he replied, and there was genuine regret in his voice. 'Tomorrow, something is going to happen, and if you don't agree to me tonight-'
'What do you mean 'something's going to happen'?' She exclaimed, and the fear that had been building suddenly seemed as though it exploded inside of her, dread filling every cell in her body.
'There will be an end to this war, Annie, and I will see to it that it happens.' He paused, as if he was trying to find the right words, 'And you will be by my side.'
'No I won't!' She yelled, and finally she managed to break free of his grasp and leap off the couch. 'I will have nothing to do with this you bastard! I am not some possession, some doll that will do whatever you want it to, no matter how depraved!'
'You need to calm down,' he said, only incensing her further.
She backed slowly towards the bookcase behind her, speaking as she went, 'No I will not calm down, Ben. You have shown your true self to me tonight. You have given me no choice, I, this place, will be free of you. And whatever it is that you have planned for tomorrow – I won't let it happen.' She fumbled behind her, trying to get a grasp of the walkie that was on the shelf, she would tell Horace everything.
'You say you want to be free of me, but I know that's not true.'
'I-' before she had time to reply, Ben stood, pulled a gun from the inside of his jacket and shot her squarely in the chest in one swift motion. She collapsed to the floor, falling in an awkward position.
'I'm sorry, Annie,' Ben whispered. He knelt beside her as she took her last gasping breaths, 'I love you.'
Her eyes began to glaze over, she tried to focus on him, tried to find the words to say. She made to grab his hand, 'Ben-' she choked, but it was too late, it would be the last word to ever escape her lips.
He stood quickly, unable to bear being close to her any longer, glanced about the room and at the couch where they had sat together only moments before. The rain continued to pound against the roof, he hoped that it would stop raining by the morning. Taking one last glance at her, he made for the door, and headed into the storm outside.