A/N: set in the middle of Detour. Definitely not canon lol. I don't own the rights to any of these characters, nor am I profiting from the story. Blah, blah, blah. Purely for entertainment purposes on my end. Hope you enjoy the smut haha

Mulder was sitting on his bed, enthralled by the TV show he was watching when I came into his room. The sleeves of his button-up were rolled to his elbows in an enticing manner that made my knees feel like jelly. I slipped in the door— tray in hand— and offered him a slow smile.

"Who cut the cheese?" He cracked a lame joke at me as I watched his brain work hard at deciphering why I came in with cheese and wine in tow.

My smile turned into a grimace at his words and I faltered in my steps, courage beginning to wane. "Since you won't be making it to the conference," I managed to force out despite the renewed sense of anxiety that was creeping its way up my throat, restricting my ability to breathe. After I was told my cancer was in remission a few months ago, I made a promise to myself. I wasn't going to waste any more time keeping the people I love at a distance. I wasn't going to ignore my feelings for anybody's wellbeing or for the security with which it provided me. Basically, I wasn't going to be a chicken about my life any longer. Number one on that list was to tell Mulder that I love him, always have. Hopefully, he will return my sentiments. If not, then that's his loss... and even though I don't know how I'm going to survive, I know that I will. By some miracle, if he does love me… well, then that will be a whole different situation. See, there's a secret of mine that he doesn't know, but God do I want him to. I want him to know and then do something about that secret.

I look at him and shudder as he responds with a corny, "Partayyy!" The faint memory of his lips against the corner of mine as I lay in that hospital bed, on the verge of death, has kept my soul alight. I'm hungry for more.

I manage to pull myself out of my thoughts long enough to respond back to him with a witty retort, "However, I must remind you this goes against the Bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment." I punctuate my statement with a popping sound as I open the small bottle of wine.

Mulder turns fully toward the head of the bed, where I had moved to stand, and offered a sarcastic threat my way. "Try any of that tailhook crap on me, Scully, and I'll kick your ass!"

"You couldn't kick my ass even if you tried, Mulder." This verbal sparring that we do has always thrilled my senses. When I argue with him, it feels as though someone is lighting a match in my brain.

"Is that a bet, Scully?" He leaned toward me, his elbows supporting his upper body on the bed.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You wish."

He was silent for a few moments. If we weren't so comfortable in each other's presence, it might have been awkward. I sat down on the left side of the bed and rested my back against his headboard.

"Well, just make yourself at home there..."

"I already did."

"Scully, what's your greatest wish?"

His question took me aback. I sputtered for a second, trying to come up with something, anything that would satisfy his curiosity. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't yet. It wasn't the right time… and I wasn't drunk enough. He watched me intently, no doubt trying to read my facial expression. He's gotten good at that over the years. Sometimes with him, I feel transparent, like he can see right through me. Other times, I feel like I could get away with murder and he wouldn't notice. I took a swig straight out of the wine bottle just as everything around me went dark.

"Guess the power's out," Mulder stated flippantly.

I reached blindly over to the nightstand and picked up the receiver to the phone. Silence. "No signal," I told him.

I heard the bed shift and rustle under his weight. "I saw a few candles under the sink, I think."

I kept taking big gulps of wine while he rummaged around in the bathroom. Just a little liquid courage. I placated myself. Tonight was either going to make or break. Maybe it was a good thing the lights went out… less chance for me to back out of my own plan without the glaring lights allowing me to see his features and he, mine.

Mulder came out a few minutes later with three lit candles. He placed one on each nightstand on the sides of the bed and the other on the desk next to the television. "There we go," he said, proud of himself. He seemingly had forgotten his question for the time being and I was glad for it. Instead, he offered up another activity. "Wanna play a game?"

I felt my eyebrow raise on its own accord. "Depends on what the game is."

"Twenty Questions?"

"Never Have I Ever." I didn't phrase it like a question. I told him. Improvision now in place, I had a new plan.

I felt him sit next to me on the bed, his back against the headboard, as well. I could barely make out his form in the candlelight. "Okayyyy…" he drawled.

"Counting from ten. You first." If I could eventually get him to steer these questions in a specific direction, then he can set me up for my confession.

He was quiet for a few long seconds. I could feel his brain thinking, even through the stiff Florida air. Finally, he spoke. "Never have I ever… had a brother."

I mentally docked a point off of my ten. "Cheap shot, Mulder," I let him know. "You can do better than that." The question he asked me was definitely not in the direction that I wanted. Though, I supposed that the topic I had in mind is probably off limits in his mind because he didn't want to overstep or make me uncomfortable. I decided to encourage him. "No rules. No boundaries."

I heard him gulp.

"So, nothing is off limits?"

"Nothing is off limits." I reiterated for him. Pausing to come up with a good question, I let my body shift a tiny bit closer to his. "Never have I ever..." I don't think he noticed my movement. Good. "... dated my FBI partner."

"Ouch, Scully."

I shrugged in the dim lighting. "Cheap for cheap..."

"Never have I ever fooled around in my parent's house."

"Even as a teenager?" I was astonished at his admittance, to say the least. Mulder was like sex on a stick. Based on all of the rumors, I always figured that he knew it. It's been a large part of what has intimidated me all these years. He seems so smooth and experienced.

He scoffed at me. "Scully, have you met me? I'm not exactly anybody's Romeo."

His lack of confidence and obvious insecurity baffled me. How could he not know? Doesn't he see the way women make passes at him all the time?

"Imagine my personality in some wiry, gangly teen outcast. I didn't even have my first girlfriend until I went to Oxford and that was a disaster."

Now it all made sense to me… why Mulder slipped back under her grasp so easily when she came to visit. The first is always leaves a different kind of scar. "Phoebe..."

He sounded surprised that I knew who he was referring to. "Yeah, she did a number on me; I'm afraid… scared me away from relationships until Diana..."

"Your last partner..." I had heard the gruesome things that were said about their pairing when I was first placed to work with Mulder. If any of them had a shred of validity, I didn't want to know about it.

"She was..." Mulder searched for the words. "Convenient. She was there when I was damaged and desperate for attention. She was an easy target, but in the end, I ended up being the one who got played. She did help me open the X-Files, though. So I will give her that." He paused. "They're in the past now. They don't matter. Sometimes I wonder if they ever did."

My chest stung at his admission. If I had known him back then, I would have given him the love he needed without taking advantage. He deserved better than how those women treated him.

"Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you or have you not?" His tone reflected a spirit of joviality, but I knew him well enough to hear the underlying curiosity and nervousness.

"I haven't," I confirmed. I shifted slightly closer to him again. He definitely noticed that time. "We're still tied."

"Seriously?" Now it was Mulder's turn to sound surprised. "I don't believe that for one second, Scully. You're the smartest person I've ever met and you're like… every guy's wet dream..." Mulder's voice dropped off immediately after he spoke those words.

I don't think he meant to say them, but if he said something else, I couldn't hear him over the loud gasp that I let out upon hearing him tell me that. I turned toward him fully and shook my head. "Mulder, I was the nerdy girl who always sat in the library. I didn't even go to prom."

Placing my hand on his cheek, I guided his head toward mine. I reached up and touched my lips to his so gently that it almost felt like the touch of a feather before I pulled away.

"Scully?" Mulder questioned me again, his voice in a whisper. I guess I really shocked him that time.

"Thank you." My thumb rubbed his cheekbone tenderly.

"For what?"

I couldn't tell if his voice sounded shocked or strained. "For saying that to me."

"Surely you know that you're beyond gorgeous, Scully. I shouldn't have to tell you that."

Bravely, I swung one leg over his lap and hovered there. He gulped loudly again. "I do, Mulder. I do know. Sometimes, I just wish someone would recognize it or tell me though… So thank you." I leaned back in and kissed him again, a little bit harder this time. This time, he kissed me back.

He kissed me with such reverence that I wanted to sob. The way his hands came up to cradle my face… the movement of lips and the way they delicately caressed my own… even if he hasn't said the words, I've never felt more loved. After what could have been minutes or hours, we finally pulled apart. I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes with a sigh when I felt his arms encircle around my waist. He pulled me into a tight hug. I wound my arms around his head and whispered against his temple, "Mulder, please tell me I didn't just ruin everything."

Mulder chuckled against my neck. "No, Scully. No, you didn't ruin anything. You just made it all better."

"Good. Good. That's good," I rambled nervously from atop him. "Cuz Mulder… never have I ever had sex."

To be continued...