This is a song fic……okay helps me when I read a song fic I go to youtube and I put on the song and read. This song is called More Than Useless by Relient K
I feel like
I would like
To be somewhere else
Doing something that matters
And I'll admit here
While I sit here
My mind wastes away
And my doubts start to gather
What's the purpose?
It feels worthless
so unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it
Not in the least bit
and I'm just scared
So scared that I'll fail You
What was I suppose to do with two kids was my first thought when Lily left. My name is Jess Mariano. I'm a 28 year old, single father, with two kids. I have a boy and a girl. Lily was my girlfriend. I've wrote 5 books in the last 11 years. I haven't talk to anyone from Star Hollow in 11 years except for that time I want to see Rory.
Sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why
Why I'm even here at all
But then You assure me
I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
So I say if I can't
Do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trivial
That life can give you will
Measure up to what might have replaced it
Too late, look
My date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet
That regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long r
The boy is Christopher Shane Mariano. He's 11 years old. His birthday is June 5th. He looks like me, he acts like me, he even walks like me. Lily spent 1 year with Chris, but it's not like he remembers. He always asks about Lily. When he was 5 told him the truth. After that he started asking even more painful question like 'Why didn't she want us' or 'Did she leave because of me' or ' Will I ever have a mommy'. Chris never got the answers to those questions. Then he started going to school. Bullies at the school would tease him about not having a mother. On his first day of first grade I got a call from the principal of his school say he beat up to three kids. When I asked him about at he said they said his mother didn't want him because he was a loser and a mistake. Then I marched into the principal's office and yelled at him for an hour. Then the three boy's parent came in and I started yell at them. That night he asked the most pain question ever, he asked if he was a mistake, but this time I had an answer. I said 'you were the best thing that ever happen to me'. He smiled and went to bed.
Sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why
Why I'm even here at all
But then You assure me
I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna be the day
Gonna be the day that I would do something right
Do something right for once
The girl is Bethany Laurie Mariano. She's 10 year old. Her birthday is September 17th. She also looks like me, but she acts more like Rory. Sometimes I wonder how she was so sweet. She didn't get it from lily and she really didn't get it from me. She really didn't ask about her mother. I'm not even the one who told her about her mother; Chris was. Then she asked if at was truth and I confirmed it, then she went on her marry way. She always happy. Even were broke her ankle. She was still happy; she sobbed a little, but still was happy. When she was 8 she started not liking the fact that all the other girls had a mother and she didn't. She cried for a week, but then she just stopped. I don't know why, but when I asked her about it she started crying again. I told her 'I always be there for her'. Then she stopped, smiled and hugged me.
I noticed
I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it
I spent it
Convincing myself
The world's doing just fine
Without me (without me)
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me (without me)
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time
It's my life
And my right to use it like I should
Like He would
For the good
Of everything that I would ever know
I love them both. I don't know how someone could leave their own kid, but in this case kids. I wrote a book about them. It's about these two kids, look for a treasure. But find them selves instead. They both read two of my books. Chris even did a report about me.They really are two cool kids.
I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna be the day
Gonna be the day that I would do something right
Do something right for once