Divine Wind
"A crisis is an opportunity riding the dangerous wind."
~ Chinese Proverb
A young woman neatly fixed her dark blue kimono, decorated with beautiful cherry blossoms, as she kneeled down onto the zabuton in front of the table where she frequently ate with her her hands was a small note, and she was afraid to read it. Her name stared back at her boldly, thickly inked on the thin piece of paper in front of her that was barely filled up with words within the small space. It was dated April 4th, 1945. That was two days ago.
She recognized the signature of the girl who had written it. It had been her closest companion, a reckless and rebellious girl, who she knew since they were young children. Untying her ponytail and letting her raven locks fall, she smiled to herself with fondness at the memory. Had it only been thirteen years ago that they had met? Even then, her friend had been a fool. But she loved her for it.
A young girl watched as her father spoke with another man. Her mother could not care for her that day, and so she had to accompany her father on one of his trading days. He often traded his own wares for food, as he did that day, such as chicken. She stood straight, behaving as properly as a Japanese woman should. She may have only been six, but she knew how to cook, sew, and clean like a lady. She was the perfect daughter in the eyes of her parents, and they were proud of her.
Her father beckoned for her to go off and explore the farm that they had traveled to and her garnet eyes scanned the area as she explored. The farm was very near to her own house, and yet this had been the first time she had visited it. As a matter of fact, it had been the first time she had accompanied her father during one of his trades. Hearing the wild clucks of fowls, she made her way to a chicken coop only to find a short and shabby pig-tailed young girl, holding a satchel and wearing shorts, sandals, a sleeveless shirt, and a vest, making faces at the poultry and scaring them with her repetitive yells of "lay some damned eggs!".
Resisting the urge to ask any questions or reprimand the obnoxious language, the young and pristine girl watched the strange behavior of the farmer's spawn. Shockingly enough, after a few ear-splitting attempts, one of the chickens managed to lay an egg and the raggedy girl grinned stupidly as she picked it up and gently rubbed it with her shorts.
"I'm so proud of you." the girl had muttered, caressing the chicken's head despite its attempt to peck at her hand. It didn't seem to bother her as she slid the egg carefully into her satchel. She stared at the chicken with admiration.
"I'm just like you, you know. A chicken. But chickens are actually underestimated, aren't they? In reality, you guys are not afraid of anything, no matter what and won't hesitate to defend yourselves. Just like you, I'm a brave and fearless underdog!" she grinned.
It was at that moment that, in her peripheral, her violet eyes stumbled upon the trader's daughter watching her. With a wild smile, she ran over, much to the shorter girl's shock, grabbed the formal girl's hand roughly without her consent, and shook it while the shorter girl stared in bewilderment.
"Oh, it's a handshake! It's how they say hello in America!" the taller, more practical girl said.
"Is it?" the smaller girl blinked confusedly, removing (though it was more like prying) her hand from the farm girl's grasp. She stepped back and bowed properly.
"Yes! And you're pretty formal, aren't ya'?" the other girl shook her head in disappointment and then laughed, "What's your name?"
The smaller girl hesitated, "Nakano Azusa. Yours?"
The taller girl grinned. She put a hand on Azusa's shoulder, ignoring the small flinch she felt upon contact.
"Suzuki Jun."
Had someone told her at that very moment that she would become Suzuki Jun's closest companion for life, perhaps she would have laughed. If not laughed, then she would have thought of the statement as completely idiotic. She would have denied ever wanting to become that dirty girl's friend at all. She was a proper young Japanese girl, after all! Jun was not what a young girl was expected to be like! She would have claimed it to be a ridiculous accusation.
Yet, it happened.
After regrettably telling Jun where she lived, Azusa had received quite the many unexpected visits from the young Suzuki girl. Her mother was very accepting of Jun's random appearances because it helped with their relations with the farmer, Jun's father. Becoming "friends" with Jun had been a blessing on the Nakano household, which had been running low on food around the very same time. They looked at the farmer's daughter as a dove, a sign of hope for their fortune. Azusa, however, thought of Jun as a nosy old rat. It was funny that both her parents and Jun thought of them as friends when she barely spoke to the girl in her presence.
Azusa, when she and Jun were eight, had almost cut off her ties with the annoying girl.
"Hey Azusa, how are you?" Jun smiled, having sauntered to the front of their house while carrying her satchel, where Azusa had been waiting.
"Suzuki-san, stop where you are this very instant!" Azusa crossed her arms, glaring at the adventurous girl.
Jun blinked, caught off guard. She shrugged it off and laughed, "Wow, that's the most you have ever said to me, I think! We're making progress!"
"Suzuki-san, I request that you st – "
"Please, call me Jun!" the taller girl grinned, interrupting the reddening Nakano.
"Stop coming here!"
"... What?"
"I want you to stop coming here, you filthy little leech!"
"Well, that's a little harsh... I'm cleaner this time! Only a bit of dust!" Jun scratched her cheek, attempting to lighten the tense atmosphere.
"I want you gone. I have no idea why you think you're my friend!"
"Azusa, relax. Your parents like me! My dad is making trade easier with your – "
"Are you saying we can't get food on our own?"
"No!"
"Then away with you!"
"Do you actually have a reason to be angry with me? You barely say anything to me when I try to be friendly, albeit I'm a little invasive, and you suddenly think you have the right to yell at me? I don't even understand what the problem is, I think our relationship is great! I can do all the work for the both of us! Your dad needs my dad for food, and my dad needs your dad for clothes! With us as friends, it makes it easier for our families!" Jun said, and it was then that Azusa took a moment to look at her clothes.
Her clothes had improved over the past two years, thanks to the Nakano's handiwork. She wore the same clothes almost every day because she helped around her father's farm, despite how dishonorable it may have seemed to traditional men, but they were better. They were no longer dirty and ripped all over the place, but they had been stitched up and cleaned so that they were useful again.
"I knew it, it was all about business!"
"It is, but for them! For me, I want to be your friend Azusa! I honestly don't understand why you're so angry! What made you angry? You can tell me, you know..." she raised an eyebrow, thinking that perhaps something was wrong with the shorter girl.
Azusa truly did not know why she was so angry. Perhaps it had been because she had received most of the attention growing up, but she then became jealous of her mother fawning over Jun's lucky presence. Or perhaps it was simply that she was upset that Jun provided more for her family than she could on her own. She didn't want to see the optimistic girl every other night because she wanted to stay as the traditional girl she had grown up as. She didn't want to suddenly yearn for freedom, as Jun clearly showed off whenever she would climb their wall or enter their house without the need to ask. She realized she was overreacting when Jun was innocently entering her life, but she was too proud to admit it.
"You're a freak, that's why!" she managed to respond after a long moment of silence.
No reply came.
The sound of quickening footsteps fading into the distance was the only thing Azusa Nakano could hear. She didn't even get to see the expression that flashed across Jun's face before the girl had run away.
That night had been a quiet one. Her mother and father had asked about Jun but, after noticing Azusa's lack of an answer, stopped questioning it. She had gone to her bedroom and, after closing the sliding door in her room that led out into their backyard, turned off the lights. She had only been lying in bed for five minutes before she heard the sliding door into the backyard open. She flinched, her body tensed, and she remained silent.
Something grabbed her shoulder and, before she could scream, a small hand covered her mouth. She squirmed but the pursuer had straddled her with their legs. Her eyes opened in panic and, using the moonlight in her window to see the face of her captor, then closed in relief when she saw it was only Jun. Opening her eyes, she watched as Jun grinned and took her hand off of her mouth. She fought the urge to kill her. It would stain the tatami mats.
"Azusa~"
"You... How dare you sneak into my house?" she hissed, but it was not angry as it had been hours before when she drove the girl out.
"I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry if I make you feel as though I'm only here for discounts." Jun sighed, getting off of Azusa and kneeling beside her, "I truly want to be your friend."
Azusa blinked, staring up at Jun from her pillow. Those violet eyes were very pretty and feminine, despite the slightly boyish charm that Jun had, in the light of the moon.
"Jun, I – "
"No, no. I want you to see what I've got, first!" the taller girl grinned, reaching into her satchel that had been hanging around her shoulder the whole time. She took out a small cup filled with water, and in it was a small turtle. Azusa blinked, staring at the little turtle as it swam about in the cup, and couldn't help but find it cute.
"This is Ton-chan." Jun chuckled, gently grabbing one of Azusa's hands and placing the cup in her palm. She didn't let go of her hand yet, but Azusa didn't notice because she was staring at the turtle.
Jun continued, "Turtles are cool, huh? Especially Ton-chan. They say turtles symbolize longevity, good luck, and support. And Azusa, I want you to know that I can give you all of that as a friend. I promise you a long-lived friendship, filled with good luck, and full of my undying support 'till the day I die!" she gave a fake salute.
Azusa looked up at Jun, their gazes locking on one another in the dim glow, and she laughed.
"Thank you, Suzu – my friend."
Jun smiled.
Jun was able to keep her promise, it seemed. Life with Jun had been enjoyable and even lucky, as she had promised, at times. Unfortunately, by the time they had turned thirteen and World War II had started, Azusa realized Jun had more of a boyish charm than she realized.
Azusa tried her best to get to know Jun more after she had received Ton-chan. Jun and her father were born in America and had wanted to move back to Japan in order to find their roots after Jun's mother had died, and he was kind enough not to suddenly enforce her into doing what most Japanese women did like wearing kimonos or having to act a certain way. They made their living off of selling food and various goods, and they worked hard to keep a good life. Jun enjoyed living on the farm, but she often admitted that exploration was a secret passion of hers. Azusa believed that Jun wasn't the type to lie or hide anything, and she admired her for that a lot.
"Happy thirteenth birthday, Jun." Azusa said with a small smile as she bowed at Jun. Jun rubbed the back of her head and laughed.
"Thank you, Azusa." the taller girl replied, returning the other's bow, "Hey, come with me." she grabbed Azusa's hand and brought her over to her house. They made their way to the small crawlspace that Jun called an "attic", popped open a small window, and they climbed onto the roof. The violet-eyed teen patted the spot beside her as Azusa carefully settled herself on the solid tiles of the roof.
"I want to fly, Azusa."
Azusa blinked at the unexpected statement. "Oh really?"
"Desperately!" Jun grinned, turning slightly to make eye contact with the shorter girl.
"And just how do you plan on doing that?"
"I don't know. But I will, one day. Or, I don't know... Something adventurous, that's for sure!"
"I know you very much enjoy your adventures... like the ones in your head!"
Jun pouted. Azusa always teased her about her dreams and whatnot. It wasn't fair. "Well... You'll be a seamstress!"
Azusa gasped. "How could you say such a thing?"
"How could you tell me I can't have real adventures?" Jun raised an eyebrow, smirking as she did so. Azusa huffed and looked up at the silhouettes of birds in the golden sky. Life was beautiful and she vowed to make every bit of effort to make it worthwhile. "You like the birds, Azusa?"
"What?" Azusa blinked for a moment, interrupted from her thoughts, "Ah, yes. But Jun, what if you can't have your own adventure? What if you fail from the start?"
"Well," Jun chuckled, "as they say... 'Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second'. Even through the first failure, I'll keep working at it to gain the next opportunity and seize it. It can also refer to second chances, you know." the taller of the two remarked.
"I'm not quite sure if I believe in second chances." Azusa sighed, wondering when Jun's childish view of the world would fade away. What would it be like to have a mature Jun? She snickered at the very thought since it seemed to outrageous and impossible.
"Azusa."
"Hm? Yes, Jun?"
"Do you really think I don't stand a chance at anything?" came the soft question, full of fear for the wrong answer. Azusa turned and watched as her childhood friend stared out into the horizon while the birds swept through the air in their elegant dance.
"You can be whatever you wish to be, as long as you strive for it and prove to the nonbelievers that you are capable of anything."
Jun smiled, placing her hand gently upon Azusa's. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."
"Happy birthday, Jun."
The young woman sighed shakily as she once again attempted to read the first sentence of the note. It was not easy reading what she had already foreseen before the whole mess began. She was weak, lacking the willpower to stop the inevitable grief when she had the chance. Would it have truly been that difficult to beg or plead? Did she truly have that much pride that she would risk something so beautiful?
She shook her head resolutely. She was determined to read the note, despite what she knew lurked dangerously within its short contents. The raven haired girl patted her cheek firmly in an attempt to compose herself. However, she could not refrain from releasing a tear as soon as her eyes laid upon the first sentence.
Truly, love was long lost.
Seventeen was one of the most memorable years for the ever proper Azusa Nakano. Although the path of maturity, professionalism, and stability was set and stone in her future, one major event would change her life forever. It was on a fateful March evening two years ago that the familiar would no longer stay.
Azusa groaned as she sat on a bench by the Suzuki's toolshed. She and Jun were meant to meet at noon yet surely an hour had passed since then. Just as she was about to quit and leave, her eyes widened and she could not maintain her gasp as an unfamiliar sight suddenly made its way toward her.
At first she thought it had been an attacker waiting for their perfect moment to strike. Before she had any chance to scream for help, her mouth was clamped shut while familiar violet eyes stared deep into her soul. "Azusa, it's me... Jun."
Jun slowly let go of Azusa, the latter rendered speechless for a few brief minutes before bursting out into tears of laughter. Jun had cut off what had become long feminine locks of sandy brown hair until it became short enough to maneuver into a masculine bun. The taller girl groaned as she removed the bun and let the short hair fall down to her shoulders.
"What did you do to your hair?" Azusa exclaimed in question, suddenly upset with the seemingly poor choice of a hairdresser.
"Azu-"
"You could have come to me! I would have gladly given you a trim had you told me you needed one!"
"-sa..."
"You've always been so odd, Jun! Seriously, why are you so impuls – " Azusa had begun to rant before being stopped midway by a slender yet firm finger resting upon her lips. She blinked, looking up at the strangely serious girl that she didn't quite recognize as the usual Jun Suzuki. "Jun?"
"I cut my hair so I could be a man."
"Why? You have always acted somewhat masculine, but this is taking it a little too far, Jun."
"No... It's so I can..." the violet-eyed girl paused in reluctance to admit her plan.
"Yes?"
"I'm going to aid in putting a stop to the second World War." Jun said firmly, standing up straight and removing her finger and bringing the hand back in a small salute. Azusa blinked. Jun managed a weak smile and chuckled. "Remember how we spoke of adventure on my thirteenth birthday?" It didn't take Azusa long to see where this was going.
"Jun! This is danger, not adventure!"
"And what's adventure without some risks, Azusa?" Jun blinked, having hoped that Azusa would support her. Perhaps she expected too much.
"These aren't 'some risks', Jun. This is risking your life! You can't do that! Tell me you're joking!" the shorter girl cried out, her garnet eyes watering up as she hoped for it to be a cruel joke. However, she knew that once Jun set her mind to something, it would take a lot to change her decision. And that was her biggest fear.
"You told me to prove to the nonbelievers what I'm capable of! You were right to laugh at me when I said I wanted to fly..."
"J-Jun, I didn't mean to..."
"No, let me finish! I will never become the type of person you are meant to be, Azusa! I can never be a proper lady since I'm just a," the short-haired girl gulped and briefly hesitated, "freak. But I realized I'm meant to fly in a whole different direction! I want to defend my country! We Japanese are a proud people and I'd die for the whole population if it meant their safety... I'd die for you, Azusa."
Azusa blushed at the last statement and averted her gaze. "Jun, you don't have to. Please, just stay here."
Jun paused, intently gazing upon the smaller figure in front of her. "Convince me."
"U-Uh... Ton-chan will never forgive you!"
Jun heartily laughed at the lame but humorous attempt. She grabbed Azusa's hand and led her into the shed. The shorter girl did not resist, despite her curiosity, as Jun gently closed the door behind them. "There's only one way to convince me."
Garnet eyes watched as violet neared closer, inch by inch. Radiating heat from her cheeks, Azusa grabbed Jun's incoming hands and took a deep breath. "What can I do?"
"Love me." Jun whispered, her voice cracking as she felt her broken soul crumble at her own request. She leaned in, prying her hands slowly out of Azusa's and wrapping her own arms around the smaller girl's waist. She was hesitant and cautious, waiting for any hint of resistance before going in for the kill. When she felt none, and despite the extreme shock at the lack of it, she closed the gap between their lips and held the smaller girl close.
The kiss was short and yet it felt like an eternity. They could hear nothing but the beat of their own hearts and the sounds of their shaky breaths. They both opened their eyes, each carefully examining the other in order to gauge each other's reactions. Jun was shocked that Azusa hadn't fought back, and Azusa was shocked at that as well. Tears welled up in the latter's eyes, and she turned from view in order to hide the waterfalls.
Jun wrapped her arms around Azusa from behind, kissing the top of her head softly. "I know it won't work, Azusa... And you deserve better. And I want to prove that I'm not a child anymore. So please let me do this? We'll meet again someday soon." she whispered, caressing the head of her childhood love.
"How long? How long have you... felt this way?" Azusa asked, her heart beating in anticipation of the answer. She had felt this way since the day Jun turned thirteen, and all it took was a simple touch of the hand.
Jun smiled. "Since we were children... Ever since I met you I knew you would be the one I'd want by my side through all the bad times. You've always been so cute!" she laughed.
Azusa pushed Jun back with her elbow in exasperation before taking in the look of the new Jun once again. "Are you truly going to fight?"
"Yes, Azusa." Jun sighed, wrapping her hair up in a bun once again. "I leave in a bit."
Jun was going to fight a war, Azusa realized. The girl could die at any second of any day from there on out. All she ever wanted was to prove to the world that she was meant to fly. Was it even possible for a person to be so simplistic and yet so beautiful?
"Promise me that we'll see each other again, Jun."
Jun simply smiled knowingly and nodded. "I promise."
It wasn't long before the two shared their last kiss, spoiling themselves while they still could. No severity of begging nor amount of tears could change the mind of the bold Suzuki, despite how much it pained her to leave when she finally had her chance at love. She did not know if this was an inevitable mistake but she wanted to know rather than face the risk of never knowing.
The silhouette of what had once been a young farm girl shifted into that of a guardian as the figure walked out into the sunset and headed toward the horizon.
That was the last Azusa Nakano ever saw of Jun Suzuki.
The woman hid her face within the darkness of her crossed arms as she sobbed. The note she had finished reading was now settled against her arm, innocently unaware of the sorrow it had bestowed upon the young woman. Its contents were a reminder of what was, what is, and what could have been.
Azusa Nakano did not need evidence to know that Jun had proven her bravery, even if she were the only one to recognize or acknowledge the feat of her lost love.
In a way, she was happy to know that Jun managed to find her wings.
That was all the energetic girl ever wanted.
"Dear Azusa Nakano,
If you are reading this, then I am sorry. You already know what this must mean. In two days, our planes will be flying in on the battleground at Okinawa and taking care of the Allied destroyers. I flew a plane, can you believe it? I never thought I'd actually know what it's like to be a bird and yet now I know! I'm so happy, and I just want you to know that you are the only thought that's ever on my mind. I'm sorry that I didn't give us enough of a chance and that I didn't stay. Despite the adventure I've had here, there is no greater adventure than that of love. I guess I never ran far enough on my first wind, huh? Now I'll never fly on the second, with you. But don't worry, I'll keep my promise! Live your life to the fullest and when you're ready to relax and enjoy the clouds, I'll be waiting. Can't wait to see you!
I love you, Azusa.
Love,
Jun Suzuki"
The End
"For what is it to die, but to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
~Kahlil Gibran
AN: An old story idea that I meant to have up last year but never managed to make it. The story quality didn't turn out all that great, but it's been hiding in my files for a long time, lol. I hope you enjoyed it, though. Don't be too harsh on any historical details, 'kay? I think I did alright, but just message me about any mistakes so I could fix 'em. Spelling and grammatical errors are, indeed, possible considering the age of this. I don't know what falls under "T" anymore so I just put it as "T" automatically, lol. Btw, "Kamikaze" is translated to "Divine Wind" hence the title and theme. It honestly isn't necessary to know, but it's definitely one of those "that's crazy!" things you realize that the author brings up, I'd think.
Thanks for reading!
Review? (: