-Jeopardy theme music is playing-

Ed: "…And, welcome back to FMA Jeopardy. Because of what happened just before the commercial break, I would like to apologise to all blind people and children. With that said, let's take a look at the scores. Maes Hughes has set a Jeopardy record by buzzing in over 2000 times, and never answering a question. He just talkes about his daughter."

Hughes:-buzzes in- "Oh, isn't she the cutest thing ever?"

Ed: "No, Hughes, she isn't. Moving on, Winry Rockbell has no score at all, because she mostly has been talking about automail."

Winry:"Ed, do you need a check-up? Come here, let me take a look at your arm."

Ed: "No. And lastly, Envy. Let's move on to…"

Envy: "Not so fast, Elric."

Ed: "Damn, I was hoping that would work."

Envy: "Well you were wrong, you montebank. You see, I pose a conundrum to you, a riddle, if you will."

Ed: "I don't want to hear it."

Envy: "What's the difference between you, and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck, and… Well, I don't remember the punchline, but your mother's a whore."

Ed: "Wonderful. Let's take a look at the categories."-Turns to the board-"The categories are-potent potables, point to your own head, letters or numbers, will this hurt if you put it in your mouth, an album cover, make any noise, and, famous muppet frogs."

Hughes: "Oh, isn't Elicia the cutest thing you've ever seen? She's so amazing, so incredible, she's my daughter!"

Envy-To Hughes-"Boy, you might be legally retarded."

Ed:" He has a point. Alright, Winry, you have the board."

Winry: "I'll take giraffes for a billion."

Ed: "That's not one of the categories, so we'll go with "letters or numbers" for 200. And the answer is-5. Is it a letter, or a number?"

Hughes:-buzzes in-"My Elicia is 5."

Ed: "No, Hughes, she's 3. I can't believe you forget your daughter's age, seeing as you ramble on about her constantly. Anyone else?"-The timer beeps-"5, is of course, a number. Winry, sadly it's still your board."

Winry: "I'll take TV shows about automail for 300."

Ed: "For the last time, that's not a category. Envy, how about you pick?"

Envy: "Well, looks like the ball's in my court now. I'll take anal bum cover for 7000."-He laughs.

Ed: "The category is "an album cover", not "anal bum cover", you jackass."

Envy: "I can read, Elric. That says "anal bum cover". I spent five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover, and my failure to do so is my greatest regret."

Ed: "You sir, have led a horrifying life. The category is "an album cover", and the answer is-The Beatles' white album was this colour."

Winry-buzzes in-"Who are the Beatles?"

Ed: "I'm sorry, that's not the answer."

Winry:" No, who are the Beatles? I've never heard of them."

Hughes:" Oh, Elicia doesn't like the Beatles. She says they make no sense."

Ed: "Mr. Hughes, I hate you. Now, for the love of God, shut your mouth. Alright. I'm getting tired of this. Let's just go to final jeopardy. The category is… you know what, I'll just let you guys decide. The category is-anything. Ask yourselves anything, and I'll give you credit. There's no way you can get this wrong. You'd have to be the dumbest people ever to mess this up."-timer beeps-"And let's see how you manage to mess this up. Hughes wrote nothing. He wrote absolutly nothing. Don't ever come here again. Winry asked herself "What sound does a doggy make?". And she answered… she didn't know the answer. That's it."-To Winry-"You didn't know the answer to your own question? That's it, I'm never letting you fix me again. I think we might even have to get a divorce."

Winry: "Oh, Ed, I hate you!"

Ed: "Moving on. Lastly, Envy asked himself… Did you ask whether I have sex with horses?"

Envy: "Yes. Yes I did."

Ed: "I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch."

Envy: "You're dad's my dad too, remember? That means you're a son of a bitch, too."

Ed:" Maybe so, but I'm not an asshole like you are.That's it, I quit. Goodnight everybody."